3.Sweet

" -You're crazy. If we go down we wont be able to go back to our home." I answered him blankly fully aware that i was more trying to convince myself then him.

- We could take food and stop every 20 floors. It would take us less than a day no biggy.

-If it was so easy..... And then what? we will go down and directly go up?

-Of course not we'll go to find out if there's more than those gray blocks, all we can see are building walls everywhere. He said pointing each side of the horizon. Only building like ours kilomaters away. But maybe there is more then that.

-Don't Be stupid. It's juste like a maze. we'll get lost for sure. They all look the same.

-Maze?Again one of your books thing. -Anyway even if we go down to explore we wouldn't survive. If it start raining whe are doomed, acid rain will kill us . It's better to give up."

We were bitter,We were defeated by the monster that was life.

The sky was grey as always, charged with the toxic clouds. we had 4h maximum, more time outside was a huge threat to our health.

The heavy door of the roof top creaked, as we turned our head simultaneously three young boys appeared.The first was a big dark skinned on with nappy hair dressed like a brush.

"-Biggy your late! said Amador while grinning.

-You can fuck yourself, huf..huf... fucking stairs. "

I read that people that had more fat had harder time keeping up with physical activities, In Biggy Brown case I didn't think it was that. He leaved in the 82th floor, but he was faster then us not forgetting that he was suprisingly agile as well. However he had breathing issues. One of the reasons why people would simply die in the buildings was the state of their appartment. Often humidity would pill and mess up their lungs and biggy was no exception.

With his sweaty face and lined t-shirt , Biggy took a time to catch his breath, letting the way to Kenny Frank and Navajo Ahiga. Kenny was one of the few light skinned person who lived in the highest floors, along with Navajo only ten floors below the roof top. We were most with taned or simply brown face but really different features.

"-Shit one day those stupid stairs will kill me.

-What are you reading today, Marica? Said Navajo coming next to me. He was the only one in the band who could read like I did and we might gave been the part of an extreme minority. Either way, with his long slightly waived black hair styled in a ponytail. Navajo was an Intelligent young men. However he had poor communication skills. Not like he didn't knew how to talk, but he had hard time interacting with people. He was older then us, but at the age of eighteen he had no over friends then us and being with to many people would put him in great stress.

-A story about a man who solve murder case.

-Ho I like this kind of story, a shame they will never do that here.

-I know right !?He's working with the police, to discover who killed a men in a train.I wish I could see a train in my life. It sounds like it's a weird engine.

-Hey stupid pole ,speak our language. said Amador who was coming with Biggy and Kenny he joined a moment ago.

-I'm speaking our language you're just to stupid to understand. You know how we call those who can't read?Illiterate.

-Yeah whatever with your words that no one uses. And anyway, so what if i can't read ? You can read and what?It's not gonna change anything to your life.It's not even useful.

-You shouldn't say that.I'm sure being able to read, write and count will be useful one day.My dad told me.When I'll be able to walk freely on the ground to discover the world I will show you that reading is useful!

-Ha. you're changing your mind? did you not say we would never go down? wait I now what you are! What was the world again? You know the one in your stupid books. Oh I remember. you're a Lunatic.

-What you have a problem with that? I admit it I changed my mind...But youn can't blame me. I want to get out of here just like you! Books showed me that there's more. If people wrote them then it mean it's not complete fantasy. I will go down and be free!you just stay here I don't care.

I suddenly felt determined I could not convince myself to giveup.In fact I did not really want to and I felt ashamed for tryouts to give up so easily. I would read stories about brave people fulfilling their objective but i was incapable of doing the same. It felt highly frustrating and the bitter feeling stuck in my throat was unbearable.

"-Comon don't fight please....It's useless. For now on we can't say what will happen tomorrow. Amd remember adults go down to work ...When the time comes we will finally go outside..

For some reason I Felt anger growing in myself. I rarely lost my temper in front of the others, but that time without knowing why I just could not. I felt a great sense of unfairness. He was able to say that so easily, while I...I.

-You don't understand do you? I'm a girl!!! Did you forget?! Only men go down to work! I 'm stuck in this 4 walls ! By the way do you think you going out for work is great?! Do you know in wich state my dad is? Have you seen yours ?! They're sucking up their blood! Going down just to die in labor?! No ! I want Freedom! I refuse to be a stupid pig who accepts everything. "

I suddenly stopped myself. I raised my voice to high. I couldn't believe I shouted at him who did not even say anything wrong.I lost my calm and ended taking all my fustration on him who could not even take it. Like a mechanism, he started shaking and apologized again and again.

"-Oh dear I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm so sorry, please forgive. Donl worry It's alright. I didn't mean to be get mad, I was unable to control myself, It's my fault....."

He huddled himself hand on the head trembling neatly crying. I was such an idiot an all i could do was taking him in my arms.

Uncomfortable, Amador sighed and came to join the hug until Navajo calmed down. Kenny did not say a word. He never did. I could not remember the Last time I heard his voice, maybe I never did, but he patted Navajo's head. It was a bit funny; Navajo was way taller then me, probably taller then my dad he always had to bow bit to be able to enter in a room while Kenny was even shorter then Amador, so seeing The tall slightly taned boy bowing to receive a head pat from a short skinny blondy gave a warm feeling in the heart.

"So is everyone done arguing? I brought snaks."

Biggy took out curious packages from his bag and put them all on a preinstalled sheet. There were things we would only see once every 2 years or we just never saw in our lives.

"-What the fuck Biggy where did you find that?

-My dad has been assigned to work as a chef in a new place. He ain't know for who he's working this time but he cooks supper expensive stuff. He stall some to take back home.

-I...isn't he gonna be in trouble?Said Navajo his voice still shaking.

-I ain't got no clue. Bit look at that Brown thing it's sweet and squishy.

-It's a cake you dumb ass. I saw one once! said Amador.

-Stop doing like your not dumb your self.

-Where did you see that?asked Navajo with his soft quite voice.

-My old man came once with a piece all proud of himself and he ate it while making us watche. We did not eat for a week cuz he preferred to by alcohol and some weird pills so it was just horrible.

-Well let's just try all this."

I cutted Amador's blabbing and took a bite in my mouth I could not say what i was feeling, the sweet taste was something i never experienced. We were spouting nonsensical sounds trying to express what we were feeling.My whole body felt an unknown joy.

We decided not to eat everything and left some for the next days.The snack we brought from home then suddenly were insipid.

"-Aaaah shit! yeld Amador.

-Stop yelling your making my food taste worst.

-Shut up stupid Pole. I've enough i want to be able to eat this delicious food every day.

-Fuck me too. I don't want to stress up for my dad every time if he loses this job i might die.

-I've enough of this. I wanna go down. Isn't it right? why do we have to leave like that?!

-Even if I'm afraid.....I also want to see What's the outside world is..... I wish one day we finally leave this place. "

I looked at them guetting fired up and then lied down. We where all saying that but in the bottom of my heart I knew they were all meaningless dreams. I blankly looked at the grey sky. If one day the chance for us to go down will come will we actually go?It was almost criminal to believe in such a dream.