Guilt

George was silent for a while. He mulled over it before letting out a self deprecating laugh. "Heh! Go back? Have a peaceful life, you say? And what? Lose the chance to undo our family's curse? You must be kidding, right?" George laughed some more. Not because he finds it comical. It was because he realized Diego's intentions. And he didn't like it.

"If you think a peaceful life is when you can't even go outside your house and have to put up with your family's scrutinizing gaze whenever and wherever you go. Where everyone in the household is scared you'd turn them all into dust on impulse. Looking at you like you're a ticking bomb every single time. Sure, they don't really say it out loud but I can feel it, Diego. I can feel it."

George let out a sigh as he plopped on the corner of the bed. He still had a lot to say but held himself back.

Diego stammered for a bit before finally saying, "But—But you didn't have to fight monsters and evil witches, right? You have food on your table and don't even have to cook. I—I mean, according to you, you live in a luxurious villa and that your family is so friggin' rich. Isn't that more peaceful than here?

"Where you have to work lest you starve. Where you have to watch your back lest you get stabbed. Have to watch where you go lest you stumble upon creatures who would literally eat you alive. You get what I mean, George? It isn't peaceful here. Besides, you can't even consider us… human." Diego's tone dropped with his last word.

He didn't wanna admit it. The moment he died ten years ago, he found himself hovering around the Bonaville North Cemetery. Lost. No direction at all. And filled with regret.

Then Fobela Taki-Taki came to help him. Introducing himself as the guardian of the lost souls assigned in the cemetery he was buried to.

The old man gave him two choices: To be reincarnated in the land of the dead called Phulas into whatever creature he wanted to become. Be it a sea monster, a dragon, a warlock, or a donkey. Or to disappear completely and use his soul to torment the prisoners of Aznarok. Destroying the essence of what made him… him.

Obviously, he chose the first one as a human. But before Fobela let him go, he gave him a warning. "Once dead, forever dead. There is no death in that land for all of you are already dead. Whenever you die, you will be given another choice at the cost of your memory. But remember, just because you'll keep reincarnating doesn't mean you'll be reckless. Everytime you die, you lose something important more than just memory. So be careful, young man."

And since that time, he only died once. But unlike his first reincarnation, it took him a year. He still chose to become human.

It was unpleasant and he didn't wish to experience it again.

His consciousness had to drift heedlessly in the void. And as the name suggests, a completely empty space.

There was nothing in there. Just an endless expanse of white. No sound. No other soul like him. He was lonely and the loneliness almost drove him mad.

On his last day of stay there, a man wearing a blood-red cloak that covered his entire face suddenly appeared. "Next will be ten years. Then one hundred. Then a thousand. See you on your next death."

Then the next moment, Diego was already lying on the grass at the foot of a mountain. He decided to build a cottage there. As a mark of his third life.

And since that day, he realized he lost something. He didn't know what it was but it troubled him like an itch of a limb long amputated.

He lost a lot of his memories. He didn't know which memory, he couldn't remember. But since that day, he started feeling less human.

"But that isn't a life worth living for." George replied. "Yes, I get to eat delicious foods and wear expensive clothes. Have a roof over my head, and get to buy whatever I want. But then again. That isn't a life worth living for.

"I wasn't happy at all. I was this—this prisoner. I wanted to be free, Diego. Free from our curse. Free from my family. And—And free from myself. I told you already, haven't I? Nobody hates me more than I hate myself. And I would hate myself more if I let go of this chance. I would hate myself more knowing I could have done something but chose not to just because it was dangerous.

"I am so damned tired, Diego. So damned tired. And if you think I am doing this because you recruited me then you are gravely mistaken. I am doing this because I want to. I am doing this for myself. And please know that I am grateful to you for giving me this chance.

"And even if I die in the process, know that I won't be blaming you. My life is my own responsibility and I will be forever grateful to you for giving me this chance. We will find that treasure, Diego. We will definitely find it."

Diego felt suffocated. Again, his guilt was eating him up. He planned to tell George that the treasure might not even exist in the first place. That it was just a legend. A drunken story. A rumor passed around tavern folks.

And yet again. Faced by George's honesty, he couldn't bring himself to tell the truth.

And so he sighed.

"Ha! I don't think I could change your mind anymore." Diego said. "Okay. Let's find it then. Let's find that fuckin' treasure, George."