marlboro red

I was unclear about what I was expecting Garo's family to be like, but I sure as hell didn't envision a super cool grandfather and a mother with an amazing sense of humour. By the work of fate, I had, somehow, ended up at a fancy restaurant with them and was having the time of my life. I was also up in the air about the reason behind all the fun I was having. Was it the company of the people around me or the alcohol in my system? It was hard to say. The only person not having any fun was Garo. She sat stiff, the way she usually did when she was uncomfortable, and kept stabbing her steak, while everyone else had moved onto dessert.

"Excuse me, I need to use the restroom." I cleared my throat, standing up and then made sure I was out of everyone's sight before almost sprinting towards bathroom, that's how badly I wanted to relieve myself.

I was in the middle of my business when I saw Garo storm in straight towards me. A shiver ran down my spine out of pure fear and I ended up spraying my piss all over the wall and the nearby urinals. "Fuck!" I zipped my pants before she could see anything. "You're not allowed in here."

"Sure." She crossed her arms across her chest. "Now that we're alone, care to explain why you agreed to come here with us?"

"I don't know." I answered honestly. "I've been feeling weird lately and I wanted to be around people, I guess."

"Is this about Chloe?" The tone of her voice was gentle.

"Yeah," I wasn't sure if I was being completely honest this time. I mean, Chloe had been on my mind but not as much as Garo. Maybe, it was because I'd been avoiding Chloe like the plague. She spammed me with texts when I didn't show up for our movie "date" and it frustrated me so much that I ended up switching my phone off. "Something weird happened yesterday."

"Well," she tilted her head. "Tell me."

"I think she tried to make a move and I wasn't comfortable for some reason." I started. "She was talking about how much she loved that we were doing stuff together again and at one point, I think she was going to...kiss me."

"I'm sorry. Are you telling me that the girl you're madly in love with finally made it known that she's got the hots for you and you did nothing?" I pushed past her, making my way to the washbasin, completely ignoring her question.

It didn't work. When I lifted my gaze to look in the mirror, I saw her standing right behind me like I had conjured up Bloody Mary. Except, she didn't come off scary. Just extremely annoyed. And pretty. She had this loose white silk dress on that ended just above her knees. She looked good, really good. I had been staring at her all night and I felt weird about it. Again, I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol. I decided to drink from that shady flask in an effort to not think about Chloe and now I was being roped in by my sudden feelings about Garo. I was a mess.

"Hello?" She slapped my head, interrupting my train of thought. "Are you off the Chloe wagon then?"

"No," I responded immediately. I would never put it that way. Chloe was still important to me but something had definitely changed. I couldn't figure out what and it was eating away at my life force. "Let's not talk about that right now. Tell me about Levi instead."

"What about him?" She shrugged in disinterest.

"How are things going between you two?"

"There are no things between us because I'm pretty sure Chloe is still sleeping with him and I think that's why you've been feeling off about her too." I pinched the bridge of my nose in confusion and disbelief at her statement.

"That can't be. She's been spending all her time with me."

"Has she? I literally saw her on Levi's Instagram story two days ago." She retaliated. For whatever reason, I didn't care. "We need to come up with another plan to settle this." A man entered the washroom seconds later and gave Garo a dirty look before rushing into one of the stalls instead of using the urinals–a rather smart choice.

"Can we talk about this when my head isn't pounding from a mysterious alcoholic beverage and you're not in the men's restroom?" I unbuttoned my coat and slipped out a pack of cigarettes from one of the pockets inside. "Where can I smoke here?"

"There's a smoking lounge but I don't want my family to know my boyfriend smokes." She snatched the pack from my hands.

"Hey!" I protested. "C'mon, I really need to smoke one, I feel like shit."

"No."

"Come outside with me for a bit." I suggested, grabbing her hand.

"I can't."

"Make up an excuse or I'm going to tell your mom that I'm a chain-smoker, mountain dew drinking full-time twitch streamer." She let out a laugh.

"Okay, wait here." She pointed her index finger at me before placing the cigarette packet on the palm of my hand.

"Where are we going?" Garo had returned and dragged me straight towards one of the elevators. I gave in because I was too lazy to protest, but the silence in that metal box was deafening after about five seconds.

"The lounge on the terrace." She entwined one of her arms with mine. The faint scent of her familiar lavender perfume or soap made its way to my nose now that we were in an enclosed space.

"What did you tell your mom and grandpa?" I asked, trying to maintain my composure. She looked and smelled insanely good, and the close proximity was making me nervous.

"Oh, that you have bad diarrhoea and you need me around for support." She smiled evilly and I hung my head low in defeat.

The terrace lounge was quite spacey and barely crowded. A bunch of people were scattered around smoking and talking while a woman played the piano in the middle. "Woah." I was in awe. We were surrounded by hundreds of buildings with their glowing little windows, fresh air and the sound of a piano. I was convinced nothing could've been better than that.

"I know right." Garo said, letting go off my arm. "It's really hard to secure reservations here, I don't know how mom did it." I followed her towards the railings, slipping a cigarette out. I lit it up and I leaned on the railing, taking a drag.

"Give that to me." She demanded.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you'll throw it away." I took another drag and she looked at me with a blank expression.

"I wanna smoke it, weirdo." I reluctantly handed her my cigarette and to my surprise she actually placed it between her lips. "What is this?" She asked, coughing.

"Marlboro red." I chuckled, taking it away.

"So," She glanced up at me and then back the gorgeous view in front of us.

"So, when were you going to tell me that you were a musical prodigy?" She scoffed, gesturing me to pass the cigarette again.

"Barely."

"You really were incredible tonight, I hope you know that." When I saw her play, I quite literally couldn't believe my eyes. The Garo Lewis I knew from school was so different from the Garo Lewis I got to know every single day since I found her diary lying in that hallway. At first, her violin recital was just a way for me to avoid Chloe but it became so much more when I actually saw and heard her play. "I can't believe you kept it from me."

"I don't tell a lot of people about it because I'm always under pressure." She sighed, her eyes looking straight ahead. "I've been doing this since I was seven and I still feel like I'm not good enough."

"Do you like doing it?"

"I love doing it." She looked at me.

"So just do it because you love it." My eyes met hers. "I know it sounds corny but we can't always care about being the best at something. Just doing something because you love doing it should be enough." She smiled, giving me a slight nod and then nothing was said.

Weirdly enough, our eyes didn't divert from one another's. I felt my heart go absolutely feral against my chest. I could list a lot of things that was causing this. For starters, the way she looked. From her face to her dress. Then the vague lavender scent. And at last, the way she was looking at me. Her eyes were challenging me. To do what? I had no clue. She moved closer. Our faces, inches apart. It was hard not to glance down at her lips. The temptation to just grab her face and kiss her was a hard one to resist.

"Garo,"

"Hmm..."

"Take that cigarette out before it burns your hand." I smiled, backing away and rubbing my sweaty palms against my pants. She flicked the cigarette off in disappointment, and it made me feel like an idiot. I wanted to kiss her. So bad. But I couldn't. Not because I wasn't attracted to her in that moment, but because I wasn't sure if that feeling would last. Emotionally, I was a mess and I couldn't add more mishaps to that mix.

I wanted to do and say a lot of things but that wasn't the right day, place or person.