Fischl's Memories
"You!" I shouted angrily, my heart brimming with pain and anger at the sound of that name. "I am Fischl, Prinzessin der Verurteilung. Do not address me by that earthly name, for it fails to capture my magnificence!"
"Poor little Amy, even in the face of imminent danger, you persist in upholding such a falsehood," the other me taunted, snapping her fingers. A book came flying from a shelf, levitating in front of me.
As the book opened, its pages swirled around, forming images of my past when I was six years old. I was alone in the library of my house, engrossed in reading a new book, "Flowers for Princess Fischl," which narrated the tales of a solitary princess on her journey through different regions, and her encounters with her royal retainer, Oz.
The images shifted further in time, showing my parents returning home after days of adventuring, a rare occasion when they were home between their quests.
"Amy, what books did you read today?" My parents asked the young me, on one of the few instances when they were home.
I excitedly recounted the story from my favorite series. "...And then he said, 'Fischl von Luftschloss Narfidort, you are the Prinzessin der Verurteilung, my proud daughter. You shall never surrender your nobility and dreams.'"
"That's a lovely story. Since you like it so much, Amy, how about I call you 'Fischl' too?" My father smiled, placing his hand on the young me and repeating the words from the story.
"Fischl, you are my wonderful princess and my proud daughter. You shall never surrender your nobility and dreams."
The scene faded as the pages returned to the book, closing up and swiftly returning to their original position on the shelf.
"That's Fischl, a mere delusion crafted by a little girl enthralled by her favorite book," the other me taunted.
More books flew around, displaying various scenes from my past. Most of them depicted me alone in the house, engrossed in reading.
"Mama, papa," the young me cried in one of the scenes. However, those cries fell on deaf ears, as my solitude enveloped me, leaving no one to hear my sorrow.
"A little girl who couldn't keep up with the reality of being abandoned and discarded."
"Enough!" I declared with a mix of anger and sadness. I remembered those times, the period before I discovered my true self, when I was all alone with my parents perpetually away on their adventures, returning home only a few times each month. "These are mere shadows of my past before I reclaimed my splendor!"
"Is that so?" the other me sneered, her grin growing wider. "Still holding onto your pitiful lies. Aren't you old enough?"
I flinched at those words, clenching my heart due to the impact, clearly remembering an undesirable memory.
As if answering my thought, a new book showed a new scene with my father and myself.
"Amy, you are fourteen years old now. It's fun to make-believe, but eventually, you need to grow up and put your childish dreams behind you..."
I could see my eyes, blurring as the words. I could see and feel the pain in my expression. That suffocating pain and soul-devouring loneliness.
The books flew unstoppable, showing countless scenes of me crying when I was little or of me acting as a Prinzessin, however, in them the faces of people around were highlighted, their contempt and difficult expression as they tried to run away from me.
"That's who you are, Amy. A poor little girl that couldn't accept the loneliness and escaped creating her own pitiful persona inspired by her favorite book." The other me stated full of contempt.
"No" A fell to my knees, crying as the books twirled around me, showing more and more scenes "Go away!" Even with my blurred vision full of tears, I could continue seeing the scene, reviving the feelings inside them. Those memories and feeling that I hid and avoided all these years.
"That's it. Surrender against the truth. You are Amy, a little girl who can't do anything. Nothing else."
I couldn't fight as a was flooded by my childhood feelings, the truth that I wanted to avoid. The truth of not being the Prinzessin, of being a normal girl 'I am Am-'
"NO!" I shouted with my full strength as I stood up 'A simple girl? That's not who I am!'
*BOOOM!* The shelves of the sides exploded, throwing countless new books all around. These ones started showing scenes of my adventures, my commissions, my fights... The cheers and recognition of the people.
"My princess" 'Allen' They also showed scenes with Allen that accepted who I am. The noble knight that fights next to me and protects me.
"T-this?" The other me showed a shocked expression. She hurriedly swung her hands, summoning more books showing sad memories, however, they were overflown by my own books, not being able to cope with them. "T-this is all false! You are Amy! No matter how many lies you use to hide it."
"You are wrong" I stated far more calmer as I smiled brightly. A golden book appeared in the middle of the chaos, and all the books stopped with it.
"I am A-!" This one opened, revealing a scene of me at 14 years crying when suddenly in front of me, someone appeared, my first friend, Oz. The majestic night raven posed over the window carrying my Edelstein der Dunkelheit.
"OZ!" I shouted summoning my loyal friend next to me.
"Mein Fräulein" Oz answered my call, bowing towards me as usual.
"Amy? Huf! A simple name of a vessel. I AM FISCHL, PRINZESSIN DER VERURTEILUNG!" I declared with conviction "You are nothing but a shadow! A fake!" I pointed at the other me.
"Disappear!" A rain of lightning fell over the other me, she unable to do anything to defend.
"I-impossible" She exclaimed with a shocked expression, slowly dispersing as pages of a book and only leaving a burned book cover with Amy written over it.
"Let's go Oz!"
"As you wish, Mein Fräulein," guided by Oz, we crossed the destroyed maze and climbed the staircase step by step.
'Yes, I am Fischl,' I affirmed resolutely. 'And I will fulfill my responsibility. Even if I die in the process—wait a moment!' I suddenly halted my steps.
"Mein Fräulein?" Oz turned to me, looking confused by my sudden stop.
I extended my left hand, summoning a hidden black book from a corner, which flew in front of us. The book displayed the scene before we arrived at this place—the arduous and impossible fight against the Abyss Order and their trap.
'Yes, it's my fault that we are in this situation, but let's calmly examine it,' I carefully observed the scene until the end, surprising myself at how cold and objective I was being.
"It's impossible," I realized. 'No matter what I do, the situation is hopeless. I can't think of any solution, even if I were to sacrifice myself nothing will change. But then, this place...'
"Oz!" I turned to Oz, who looked worried. "What is this place?" I gestured towards the broken sky and countless books surrounding us.
"Mein Fräulein?" Oz seemed confused by the question. "Your memori-?"
"No, that's not it. That's not the right question," I shook my head. "Oz, why am I here?"
"That's..." Oz hesitated, struggling to answer as if something was bothering him.
"What's the reason for me to be in this place? Is it to see my life before death? Or..." I stared at Oz, making him flinch a little under my intense gaze. "Is there another reason for me to be here?"
'Have I gained anything from this? Resolution?' I shook my head. 'No, there was no need for it. We were going to die, and I had accepted it. If I were to return now, nothing would have changed. If it's not like that...!'
My eyes widened in shock as I realized something. 'That feeling... It's similar to what made me want to stop exploring the domain, yet completely different—more concealed as if it wants to be avoided. Something that is there, always present, but hiding in the periphery of my senses, never gaining my attention.'
I slowly turned around.
"Mein Fräulein, stop!" Oz pleaded desperately.
'The hidden truth of this place... The one that the other me and even Oz are trying to prevent me from discovering.' I disregarded Oz's pleas, fully turning around and facing it.
Before me stood an immense and impressive azure door, imposing and enigmatic.