Chapter 001: Sacrifice

Author: WolfSpatial

Co-Author: Lucifer

[Death doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes, and takes, and takes. And, we keep living anyway.]

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It was an empty night, the dim light of the crescent moon poking through the tall window of my office. On my desk sat a picture. It was one of me and my friend, my companion, my queen.

I grabbed the half-empty bottle of dark alcohol from the edge of my large desk and went to pour another cup. Looking at the picture of the smiling blonde with her arm around my shoulder, I hesitated and set down the bottle.

"Riza," I took the frame into my hand, holding it gingerly and with care, "What do I do without you? You were supposed to shoot me, not die."

After a few seconds of silence, I threw the frame across the room. The corner collided against the tall wall, which stood some thirty feet away from me, and the glass shattered.

Placing a hand under the edge of my desk, I stood and flipped it. It was a heavy wood — though I didn't know for sure which one — and took a bit of effort to tip.

"Why!?" Slumping to my knees, I placed my hands flat on the ground. The back of my right hand still had the scar from when I fought Lust, whom I had initially believed to be the girlfriend of my subordinate. My tears fell from my face, dripping onto the scarred skin and distorted the image even further.

Sitting back on my feet, I clapped my hands together in a moment of desperation. I had never liked this type of Alchemy. It had been forced upon me when the Homunculi used Riza as a hostage to make me open the Gate of Truth. That was right before they killed her, which made me lose myself and start fire after fire over their charred corpses.

Homunculi had the uncanny ability to regenerate, though it was limited and they couldn't do it forever. It would take way too long to kill six Homunculi that way, the easiest method was to use the Clap Alchemy which I despised so much on their bodies and combust their Philosopher's Stones from the inside. After that was done, I simply kept burning them. Over and over, hoping they would feel even a portion of the torment that Riza and I felt.

After the ping sound that accompanied clap Alchemy, I stuck my hands on my chest. I figured that a world without Riza wasn't one I wanted to live in.

So, I did the unthinkable. I used Human Alchemy, on myself. I was intent on dying, nothing would stop me.

Energy cascaded around me, red bolts of electricity arcing and touching the area. It was a strange thing, that. No matter how much energy Alchemy released, it didn't leave scorch marks on the area around it. Larger processes produced more energy, of course, and Human Alchemy and Alchemy done with a Philosopher's stone produced red energy.

Even as my body was torn to shreds and the pain of being turned to nothing burned, I still shed tears for her. For the woman I didn't know I loved until she was gone, "I'm coming… Hawkeye."

But I didn't. I found myself back in the Blank Space, the place where I met the Truth. This time, he didn't look like a white body that only had a set of strange teeth. He looked like me, he was me. He gave me a small frown, "What could possibly be so important that you sacrificed your entire body?"

"I didn't," Shaking my head, I sat in front of him. I didn't care if this guy was a god or not, he could give me the death I wanted, "I just didn't want to live without her."

"I see," His frown turned to a neutral expression, and then shifted to a grin that looked unnatural when wearing my skin, "What if I made you a deal?"

"I'm not interested," My eyes scanned the edges of the form he had taken. He was a handsome bastard, I'll give him that. He had short black hair with dark gray eyes and a face that enchanted women of all kinds.

"Even if it will let you see your precious Riza again?" The way he said her name felt like a bullet to my heart. He was emulating my love for her to his own gain. I could tell, and I didn't care. I focused more on his words than his actions.

"What do you want?" My teeth ground together as I clenched my jaw, his smile seemed to grow after catching my attention.

"Simple, I'll send you way back before her death. Let's say, just after my boy Ed joined the military." He made a gesture with his hand, asking me for something in return, "What can you give that's worth that? Equivalent Exchange and all that."

"I…" Had nothing, but I couldn't tell him that. Hell, he probably knew already. He was just toying with me. He had already taken my body, all I had left was my soul and I couldn't bargain with that. I needed that if I wanted to remember any of this.

"Take your time," His voice was melodic, and I hated it. I hated him. Why couldn't he just give her back? She was mine wasn't she? My loyal retainer, my adjutant weapons specialist. She was my best friend and the only woman I truly loved, despite my bachelor attitude.

"I'll give you everything." He shrunk back slightly, not expecting that response. He made a gesture for me to elaborate, so I continued, "I will give you time. All of the time that passed after Riza died and all of it up to when you send me back. That should be enough right? You'll take time and the world and all of those people. And I'll get Riza. Sound good?"

"That's not yours to give…" Truth didn't seem to like my deal, but he wouldn't get another one and I knew how much the bastard liked to take stuff.

"Isn't it? I lived it." Standing up, I turned to face the Gate of Truth. I had found, after talking with Edward and Alphonse, that the Gate of Truth looked different to everyone. Mine followed that same rule. It was the same as I had seen it originally, yet in the bottom right corner of the door, there was something new.

It looked like me, cradling a body in my arms and screaming. I could tell that it was when I had seen Riza die. The thing about the Gate of Truth was that it showed the past on the front, the things you've done, and experiences you've had.

That made one question what was on the back of the Gate. But you'd never be able to see it. Whenever I tried to go around the side and view the intricate carvings of the future, I found myself back in front of the Gate, staring at the past.

Maybe that was a message to me. Telling me that no matter how I yearned and fought for the future, I'd always be looking at the past.

My gaze hardened at the copycat, "That was my future. And I'm giving it to you. In exchange for sending me back to Riza. Or else I'll cauterize your eyes and mouth shut."

"With what power?" The Truth matched my height, his hands on his hips as he gave me a condescending look, "I am the conduit through which you use your Alchemy. My Alchemy. I gave it, I can take it."

"Won't stop me from trying," I let out a wry chuckle, holding up my right hand as if to snap. I knew I couldn't use Alchemy here, he wouldn't let me. Yet I also knew I'd snap my fingers till they were bloody in any small attempt to pulverize the fucker keeping me from her.

"I'll take the future you knew," Truth seemed to like my resolve, his face morphing into a grin. I still didn't like how I looked with such an expression, "I'll even let you keep your little memories. And, if you do me a favor, I'll throw in something else. Equivalent Exchange, don't you think?"

"What's the favor?" I could entertain it. If I knew one thing about the being before me, it's that he didn't ask for favors. That meant he wanted something done, and — for whatever reason — he wanted me to do it.

"Kill those pesky Homunculi, they don't follow my rules. Also, destroy the Philosopher's Stones if you see any." His grin turned to a blank stare, and I could see him being serious about his request, "In exchange, being Equivalent of course, I'll let you ignore the laws of Alchemy when you're actively working toward my favor."

"How am I supposed to get rid of the Stones? Just exhaust their power?" I felt it was a valid question, but his expression didn't change so I wasn't sure how he felt on the matter.

"I'll open a small window for you to give them to me, every one you give back will give a small boost to your own Alchemical power." He held out his hand for me to shake, "How about it, Colonel?"

I hadn't been a Colonel in a while, not since before I had killed Lust. Fuhrer Grumman had promoted me to Brigadier General over Colonel Bradley, which had upset him a considerable amount. It came as a shock to me when I found out Bradley's true identity as one of the things that killed Riza. I set him ablaze before he could pull his sword, his little eye being unable to predict that I wouldn't care for my own safety.

All I had lost in that fight was a good chunk of flesh from my left leg and most of my other subordinates. My Pawn, Rook, and Bishop died to that rat bastard of a soldier. I'd kill him again if I could get him alone for a few minutes. It wouldn't be too strange if Scar killed an unsuspecting Colonel walking the streets of Central.

Despite my thoughts on the matter, I took Truth's hand in my own. I could feel something worming its way into my soul as he grinned and gave a soft shake, "What… was…"

My body started to fall of its own accord, not listening to my commands as Truth released my hand and watched me tumble, "Man, you're really weak. Not like those Elric boys at all. I hope you'll prove better than that after some time in your new timeline."

He began walking away, his body slowly shifting from my form to his Blank Form. Then the Blank Space began to shift. The white expanse filled with color, passing me by as I lay motionless on the ground.

My mind was filled with information from the Gate of Truth. I learned the best sigils for most types of Alchemy, I learned one-handed Alchemy, and I re-learned Clap Alchemy. The things I was taught were innumerable and, somehow, inconsistent. There were so many ways to do Alchemy that I wondered if maybe, just maybe, it was its own living being that breathed and bled through us; through Alchemists.

I caught glimpses of portions of my life and the lives of those around me.

Riza getting a tattoo on her back, or rather, being forced to by her bastard father. I saw myself becoming close with her and memorizing the image from her back before she asked me to burn it away. I was hesitant at first, of course, even though I didn't know I loved her back then, she was still my closest friend. I remember her holding in her screams and cries of pain with a rag between her teeth. I felt bad, I felt like a monster for the first time since the Ishvalan Civil War where I killed hundreds, thousands without care. But, she thanked me. She thanked me, for burning her back and leaving her with a permanent scar.

Then I saw Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. He was technically a Major, the default rank for all State Alchemists, but didn't act it as he was young. When he and his brother were much younger, their mother died. They had tried to use Alchemy to bring her back, a taboo that was unforgivable. Not just by the laws of Amestris, but by the Truth himself. There were ways to get around that taboo, like the Philosopher's Stone or doing the Alchemy right after the person died whilst having their soul bound to something, but Edward and Alphonse didn't know that.

Hell, I didn't even know that until I had gone through the Gate a second time. The amount of knowledge you gained by giving your entire body was enough to drive a man mad. Perhaps that's why Truth paralyzed me. He wanted my mind to have a reprieve as it went through the horrors of the ever-present, all-knowing Truth.

I had almost started to worship him through this, almost. I had no belief in any deity beforehand, not even him, though I had met him before. That changed when I saw where Alchemy really came from. His calling himself a conduit wasn't far from the Truth, in fact, it was very true. He acted as a conduit between our world and a world of no Alchemy but larger-scale weapons of war.

After Edward, I saw portions of Maes' life. He was a Captain prior to his death, before being promoted directly to Lieutenant Colonel when he was killed by one of the bastard Homunculi. I saw his daughter and wife, how much he loved them, and how much time he had to spend away from them hurt him so deep inside. His life was centered around them, even as he strived to do the right thing and build a better country, he did it for them.

He wanted to set a precedent for his daughter, to show her that everyone could be a good person if they tried hard enough. Despite his miscreant youth, Maes did just that. He showed that little girl that men were only as good as they allowed themselves to be. He showed me that being a bad guy didn't mean you were a bad man. It was a weird thing for him to have taught, as I never considered him a bad guy in any sense of the word, but it was still a lesson nonetheless.

I saw my own life next. I had been abandoned as a baby, my parents wanted nothing to do with me. But, I was lucky when Madame Christmas found me wandering Central on my own in the middle of winter. She brought me in, called me names, fed me, kept roof and board for me even when I didn't live with her. She was more of a mother to me than the one who ran off to Xing when I was a child.

My vision started to fade, the images blurring and vanishing as the memories were planted firmly in my mind and knowledge cemented itself within my psyche.

Then, I sat up and looked around.