Ch. 58 Guilt and Loneliness

In Last Heaven, all areas that weren't controlled by a noble were slums. To survive, people living there were forced to do odd jobs or deal with contraband. Some even risked their lives handling tasks not even the nobles' servants wanted to take on.

It was one of these areas that Ana and Ethan had visited before their departure. Without saying a word, the girl walked up to a worn down house and knocked on the door.

"…Yes?" a cautious voice was heard before an old man creaked open the door. Behind him, a boy no older than 8 was peeking through.

"Hello." said Ana with a warm smile. "Here."

The girl didn't know where to begin, so she skipped the explanation and put a small bag in the old man's palm.

"Are these… real?" his eyes went wide when opening it.

Ana placed a finger on her lips. "No questions. Just take it." She then left without another word.

"Is this why you've changed the gold into silver?" asked Ethan after they took some distance.

Ana didn't respond and simply walked to the next decrepit house. After repeating the process a few times, for some reason, the boy was getting restless.

"Isn't your mother sick? Why are you doing this?"

"You can do the same." said Ana. Ethan seemed confused, so she continued. "These people were already poor before the towers fell. How do you think they're doing now that they can't even afford bread?"

'She knows?' While Ethan was stunned into silence, the girl simply continued her task. The more houses they visited, the more frustrated the boy became.

'So, this is my fault? I did it for you…' "Hey, you can't save them all." Eventually, he couldn't stand it and stopped Ana in her tracks. "Even if you give a bag to every poor person here, what's 100 silver going to do? It'll be gone in a couple of months, and they'll be right back to starving."

Sadness appeared on Ana's face, so he removed his hand. She looked him straight in the eyes for a few moments before speaking slowly.

"Maybe… Or, maybe the prices will go down by then. But, shouldn't we at least try to help them?"

A flurry of emotions washed over Ethan. Was it frustration, annoyance, guilt? He didn't know. What he did know was that he couldn't stand watching his friend anymore.

"I'll wait for you at the eastern gate." he said and left.

The boy spent the rest of the day sulking and making excuses. By the time Ana caught up to him, the mix of emotions he was feeling had reached boiling point.

"You done saving the world?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes." She spoke with a refreshing smile which further pissed him off.

"If you'd have been starving in their place, those people wouldn't have given you the time of day."

"So?" asked Ana with a shrug. Secretly, she was hoping to teach Ethan a lesson.

"What do you mean so!?" he asked angrily.

"Does that excuse not helping them? If you cause someone harm, shouldn't you at least try to make it up to them?"

"F**k!" Ethan clenched his fist and smashed a hole into the ground. "So, I'm the bad guy, is that it? I'm the f**k up who can't do anything right."

"No, you're not." Ana tried to get closer.

"Bullshit!" He took a step back. "I got you into the academy and you almost got killed. I took everyone on a joy ride through the forest, and we were almost eaten alive."

"You didn't…"

"Did you know I killed your teacher?"

Ana's eyes went wide.

"Yes, that James guy or whatever. He wanted to start a harem and teach you lots of things. But, I'm an asshole for killing him too, right?"

By now, the boy's eyes were slightly watery. He sat on the ground and refused to look at Ana.

'So this is it…' Recognizing what kind of moment this was from his memories, Ethan was convinced she would abandon him. 'I thought I grew numb to this…' he lamented.

"…Screw the past." Instead of leaving, the girl sat down with him. She poked his forehead and spoke matter of factly.

"I don't agree with anything you've just said. Teaching me magic or those forest expeditions were great ideas not screw ups.

However, I do think you killing James and taking down the towers was pretty messed up. I don't agree with those plans at all."

"Then, just leave!" The boy stood up. There was a reason he was alone in his past life. Not many could condone his actions, let alone support them.

"I won't. Even if we're polar opposites, we're still friends who've shared a lot. Besides, I can't stop you from doing something stupid again if I keep my distance."

Ethan snorted and looked away. Ana didn't try explaining further and instead walked past him towards the city's gate.

"Let's go. You need to catch up to me, don't you?"

The thought of falling behind in his cultivation began overpowering the mage's frustration. With somewhat uneasy steps, he eventually followed.