Chapiter 2

Clinton was his first name. The first name of the one who was carried away in this love triangle. The triangular relationship centred on the brunette - to their disappointment. After spending a night at work, he made a diversion to his shrink, who helped him morally in everything.

Although he had been told many times that this relationship where the loved one took care of you at times was toxic, he hardly had the courage to give it all up. First of all because he lived with her and, above all, he always wanted her by his side. This feeling was not love, but pure and simple sentimental dependence. This is what he had been telling himself for over a month - he doubted his feelings towards Sunshine for a reason he didn't know.

Alice was in love with her too and it scared him terribly, each of them did not want to share her. But she couldn't take her over either because the brunette didn't want any trouble, at least she had made it clear that being in an official love situation was not good for her. Why not? Only she knew.

As the evening seemed to be long, the brown-chested man made a summo-style bun, a white shirt and grey trousers to make her look intellectual. And a pair of Stan Smith on his feet - with white socks - of course! Narcissistic as he was, he looked at his reflection in the big mirror in his room once again before going out into the living room where Alice had been waiting for him for more than thirty minutes.

After finishing getting ready Clinton and Alice went down to the car park dressed in their evening clothes. The uneasiness aboard the jeep of the handsome brunette was almost non-existent, at least that's what they wanted to force themselves to believe. After half an hour on the road, the blonde made a series of phone calls to her employees and friends, if it was to make the trip to Los Angels even more unpleasant - she did it perfectly.

When she decided to stop looking for the driver, she took a deep breath of air before asking a question that had been a priority for her since she had met Clinton.

— How did you meet?

The interested party made an interesting gesture by pretending not to have heard anything.

— Come on don't be a guy and tell me how you knew him. she said in a soft and steady voice.

The dark-haired man, feeling obliged to answer, smiled a smirk before finally opening his mouth that hadn't been opened for ages like the bible in Sunshine's room.

— It is very long, but as we are stuck in traffic, you will listen to me carefully and the questions and clarifications are at the end.

The bung let out a little laugh and then asked him to start his story.

— So it's barely six or even seven months since I started seeing him, but three months before that I tried to end my life, every Sunday I would go to a bridge so I could throw myself off without ever having succeeded once. While the beautiful brunette was looking for a muse for her next exhibitions she saw me on the edge of the bridge talking to myself. There she pulled out her heavy artillery and started taking pictures of me without ever interfering with me, as if she knew I couldn't jump. An hour later I was at home in tears and I spent another unbearable week; when Sunday came we were still there and it went on for a long time and a beautiful Sunday --

He stopped his story and smiled before continuing.

— That day I received an email with pictures of me on that bridge with an address at the very bottom of the email. I left at the indicated place, which turned out to be the apartment of the spy who welcomed me with a good breakfast as she has the secret. We talked for hours and hours, as I was leaving she hugged me before taking me to her room. Since that day I have been living with you.

Alice felt threatened and jealous of the relationship between her two roommates. But she took the lead and did not succumb to her feelings, but nevertheless intrigued by one last question she asked him;

— What about when she sat us down to tell us about this free relationship? How did you take it?

The handsome brunette sighed at length.

The sun had not yet set behind the great Hollywood hills, the two friends - lovers, perhaps, arrived at the place where their common love was to be varnished. They did not lie to each other, but the tension was more than palpable. Alice wanted answers, Clinton wanted her to belong to him and felt that this triangular relationship had gone on long enough. But what was certain was that Sunshine was going to see her plan fall into the water, her ship that she had managed to steer would soon meet the iceberg. And for that, she was not ready.Alice wanted answers, Clinton wanted her to belong to him and felt that this triangular relationship had gone on long enough. But what was certain was that Sunshine was going to see her plan fall into the water, her ship that she had known how to steer would soon meet the iceberg. And for that, she was not ready.

With all the confidence she had, Sunshine was talking to all the guests who had come to admire her masterpieces and or bought them at an auction.

Her hair was deep black and shiny, tied in an elegant bun. The Levi's denim dress she had put on fitted her curves perfectly. The Converse in the same material as her dress fitted her just as well. For an early winter it was daring, yet it suited her well. The two people who shared her love life literally devoured her with their eyes, they found her sublime, especially as she undulated her hips with each step she took - provocative!

Many famous people were talking to each other; Sun always had a shiny smile on her face, which was enhanced by the thin layer of lip gloss on her lips.

When the event was over, Clinton and his date in the relationship waited patiently for the one who had caused all this to happen to leave the room. She was only made to wait half an hour - the minimum, when you're Sun' - that they knew! She came with a smile on her face as usual, a heavy coat on her shoulders. As soon as she met her housemates' faces, a feeling of dread ran through her entire spine, without managing to disturb her.

— At last," began Alice, "are you finished? We can now have the opportunity to talk to you!? she continued in a sarcasm visible a mile away.

Sun' nodded.

But it was the man who spoke, clearing his throat beforehand. It looked like he had a monologue ready and waiting to come out.

— I can't take it anymore... He finally blew his wind and looked up at the sky.

Brusque was the revalorization, but he thought it was better to be cash than to say a long text that she will end up asking for the summary. Pointing at her, he blew his turn, put his hands in her pockets - not because she was cold, no. It was because she had been jostled, emotionally. As she was about to open her mouth, she was interrupted by Alice.

— I've never heard you say you love me, at first I thought it was because you were ashamed or something, but it wasn't. I didn't hear you say you loved me. You really don't like me, you just like me and that's all. And I can't stand it any more, me neither, a little puff of air before getting back into his text, you know at least what it feels like to be loved one week, treated like a rare pearl and the next week it was another one who was suddenly crowned !? Do you know that, Sun'!? No, not at all. Since you have everything you want, you come before me without asking what's on my heart and make love to me as if you want to forgive yourself for something or just run away from something. I don't want a trio, I know you were cheating on me even before Clinton but I liked our duet, what do you want from me exactly? I've given you everything, even my life, you have it, and you know it. But why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to me?

Each one of them stood there, never interrupting it.

And the bag would soon be emptied.

— Anyway, I love you and I don't want to have to share you with anyone else. she said, choking back a few tears.

The man shrugged his shoulders before confessing, in a neutral manner - as always.

— You can go, I don't need a serious relationship. And you knew that.

Dry and effective

— But do you hear yourself? What's the matter with you? Bipolarity? And will you come back and apologize to us? But you're sick! You can't do that, it's inhuman! Not wanting a serious relationship when you're doing everything you can to make it look like one is frankly despicable on your part. And I thought you were someone apart. Passing behind her he spat out the following, I regret why this time I had not thrown myself off that bridge. And his silhouette disappeared in the middle of his luxury cars with him.

Alice with a fragile heart - opened her eyes at the understanding of these words more than frightening for her. She still approached her beloved - who asked her to leave, and kissed her languidly, passing her hands behind her back to feel even closer to her. Sun' caressed the face of the woman who had shared her life for a while, sharing an almost frightening set of glances. Then the blonde withdrew, said between melancholy and joy:

— I love you. But it hasn't been enough to make it mutual. Before he took refuge in Clinton's jeep and emptied his tears - there were still plenty of them, don't worry.

Sunshine, meanwhile, was walking along the pedestrian crossing, going where his feet were leading him. Questioned by her complex egocentric interior, she couldn't get it out of her mind that she had destroyed Alice's heart. Yet, with a strong understanding she could not be sad, let alone put herself in Alice's place. "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't it make me feel hot or cold?" She wondered deep down inside that she thought she was misunderstood, even for herself and the three shrinks she had had to consult in secret.

The first one said: Without emotion, and yet you perceive anger and joy most of the time. It is almost indescribable.

The second: You have difficulty communicating and feeling things, but do you try to see love? - from where she tried with Alice.

And the third and last one says: You have to stop blaming yourself and move on. Otherwise you will end up like him. It's not misunderstanding just the fear of evolving.

Yes, she blamed herself. And what if she did? That was her problem, she said she was strong enough to go through it herself, without her mother - it was reduced to nothing. Why couldn't she just be like those spoiled rotten children you see in Oscar-nominated films, those films where the rich actress didn't think much, was a real she-devil, but slept well. Sleep well. That was her biggest fantasy. Maybe one day she will, maybe not. The no was very likely.

She looked up at the sky and saw the full moon smiling. She must have been walking for over an hour without knowing where the wind was leading her, the feeling of suffocation was still there that time. But she breathed and remembered Alice's smile, once again, which was in her as it once was in him. The brunette ran her hand through her hair before she slumped next to a homeless man who was in front of a huge property. Probably one of those Hollywoo celebrities' barracks, she remarked, smothering a small grin growing on her face.

— What are you laughing at? asked the homeless man.

— No, I don't ask. Nothing.

— Bha yes. If you're laughing, it's only something. he insisted as he turned to Sunshine.

— A reflex to Bojack.

— Ho. Nice series!

She shook her head as her wild laughter slowly faded away. A white man surfaced between the two strangers, it was like an invisible barrier. There was no noise on the horizon, no cars were passing in that lane and it was almost worrying.

— Why are you here? I'm sure it's not because you were fired three years after your marriage and she ended up leaving taking everything away because of the divorce? He stopped in the middle of his enormously long question and sighed.

— Nope.

—I knew.

— But you did. I think I did.

— I think.

The two sitting on the pavement started laughing. The brunette wanted to talk, and since her shrink was away on a trip; someone who wouldn't judge him would be the best way to get rid of his demons.

— I killed my ex-wife and told my daughter about her accident. But I think I broke it.

— How did you do that? she asked in the greatest of calms, she wasn't afraid. Another reason for reflection that would take away her sleep.

— They did it for me and since then I've been going to the cemetery regretting why she didn't die on her own. Why did I have to act to get her to give me back my baby? He asked himself as he stared at the moon.

Sunshine gave him a moment of calm before clearing her throat beforehand for a well formulated monologue as she used to do in front of her mother.

— I, on the other hand, pushed my first love to suicide, erased our discussions of that day, and never told his parents. The police never get the real story. And yet I have no regrets, but I think I feel unconsciously guilty, since that day I haven't slept more than five hours straight, except when I take products and sometimes even the products have no effect on my situation. After that I have never been happy, just happy, or smiling, and I haven't cried, to tell you the truth, I've never cried. In any case, since I can remember, not a single tear of sadness has come out of my eyeballs. Even pretending to be in pain, never. But I had loved him, I tried everything and I met a girl, I think I like her. But she wasn't enough for me, well, I thought I was stupid, like there was no way I could love a girl. So I knew something that I liked too, I think it was because he was too cowardly to throw himself off that bridge, I thought I was making up for my mistakes by taking him along.Then I knew something that I liked too, I think it was because he was too cowardly to throw himself from the top of that bridge, I thought I would make up for my mistakes by taking him to my house, under my duvet, in the shower... You see, what? The three of us were in an open relationship in the same flat for a few months. And they realised there was something wrong with me. But I still can't get sad again, even after maybe destroying them.

From the moment she closed her eyes, she felt a sense of pre-freedom. Talking did her good - unfortunately.

The dark blue sky was that day devoid of stars, the threatening clouds sat there for reasons that only nature really knew. That cool breeze that tickled her nostrils, that smell of humidity that accompanied every step, and finally that full moon that began to hide behind the multitude of stormy clouds; for so much they were there, sitting by the toilets of the petrol station, tasting chips, sweets, muffins, soda and everything that came out of the brunette's mind when she was in the supermarket that provided a warm space in that station. With a light heart they shared an improvised snack and all the more improbable as the situation was, the two companions opened up to each other as if they'd had a common experience. Not very distrustful by nature but more exploratory and curious, the young woman continued to ask questions, she had just opened her heart to him - even if he hadn't asked anything except to start the discussion.

Right in the middle of a packet of crisps that had already been opened, the male of the duo left the floor to run to the toilet "it's probably the expired biscuits that won't pass" laughed the brunette as she read on the packet's packaging.

Suddenly her thoughts caught her off guard. She could laugh, forget her problems, create a bubble to protect herself by breaking others - circumstances wanted her to dress up with the most uncomfortable and disturbing memories that a person her age could not bear. But she had to. And now she had got used to it - the damage was done. The urge to talk still had an otter in her. Sunshine was empty again, he had understood this and didn't speak either. More than not being able to speak, he plunged into a deep sleep in an unavoidable and unpleasant position. The young brunette smiled and gave him his coat as a blanket, then undressed his trainers so that he could walk barefoot.

Seeing her you could tell everything, that she had the beginnings of madness, maybe even diagnosed schizophrenic, a lot of things like that were going round and round in the heads of those who met her. But brunette had just lost her marks, like when you suddenly restart a machine when you knew you should, that's about what happened to her. At least I think it was her who didn't feel me. So for deeper details ask her.

Penaud - she arrived at her L.A. flat after a few miles of stairs, the door was open, by the way. She entered with a strong emotional baggage that didn't exist because there it was just empty, like the attics at the end of high school. Sunshine left for the shower and showered with a huge sigh of satisfaction. After showering, her hair remained open and her body was not covered with any clothes. Either she was naked.

A glance at her phone and :

03:47 A.M.

7 Missed calls.

1 Mail

The glass filled with whisky in her left hand and on the other she held her trusty tobacco stick proudly lit. Finally, spitting out the smoke from her cigarette. Then sighed, still naked on her balcony :

— It was still worth more than two thousand dollars, that jacket! Damn it! What do you mean, asshole!