Mourning for the Deceased

It has been half a year since that strange dream of hers happened and yet it haunts Ashera more frequently than she would think about it.

After her friend left home, Ashera told her mother about the dream she had. She could not find the right word to explain the reaction and the look on her mother's face. Uncertain, yet, Ashera sure did witness how color abandoned her mother's face. Her face showed a mixture of all emotions, Ashera knew.

Yet again, something was telling her that her parents did not take her kind of dream as a mere dream. Even her father was out of words and for the first time ever, she saw fear glittered on his eyes. Something wasn't right.

On that day onwards, Ashera often saw her parents acting strange like they were hiding something from her. They would talk a lot aggressively more than she ever seen. They would debate about things she can not fathom whatsoever it was about. However, they would act as if nothing was of great fuss whenever they sense her presence. 'Weird,' she thought.

Not once did she mind what they were discussing about for she does not even have a single clue, what was it all about. All she knows is that her parents were talking about the number of the days left and the time of who knows what.

It's winter and of course the weather is killing Ashera. She can never muster to be of liking with all the snowflakes and cold breeze of the surrounding. Winter was never a friend of Ashera. More than now that it has been a month or two since her parents were found dead on their way home from visiting the countryside. She does not have the stomach to take a note of how many seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, or months it has been.

They had told Ashera that they were going to visit her mother's older sister. It was the first time that she ever heard her parents talking about a relative of theirs. Although, her parents mentioned her aunt, they did not disclose anymore information; where exactly they were going, what her aunt's name was. She wanted her parents to speak more about their relatives. She's been dying not to wonder about it and be jealous of other people for having a big family.

Heilta was one of those she used to be envious of. However, she later on learned that she does not need such feeling towards her bestfriend. Because of her bestfriend, she was able to experience a grand family gathering and stuff related to family occassions.

However, not once did Ashera spot a glance of a picture having any of her aunts, uncles, cousins, and even her grandparents. Sometimes she would wonder if her parents were hiding a thing or two from her. But then, she would only end up obeying her beloved parents' words, for she does not want to hear their repetitive attestations about the matter.

No matter how much she wanted to go with them, her parents heed her not for it was said to be a very important matter — which need not of her attention, at all — and that she needed to focus on her exams, rather.

Her parents left early in the morning that day and told her that they would be home after three days. At first, it was of such no concern. When, the night that Ashera expected her parents to be home, they did not show up at their front door. 'They must have been late due to some inconveniences,' she thought.

She sat down by the porch, waiting for her parents to show up any minute of the night. She waited. Days turned to weeks. Two weeks of waiting. Only to receive a news that a car had crashed into a big trunk of an old yet enormous tree on the countryside. She did not believe it. There's no way her mother and father would be off to another life just like that.

A car accident, what rubbish. It was impossible not to notice the trunk of the tree let alone it's size. Even if the snow was heavy, it wouldn't have been a problem since there were a lot of gigantic trees in the countryside. Sheilding the falling snow from the bare country road.

Ashera tried her very best not to be carried away by the news, not until the national television had featured it. There, she saw her parents lying breathless, faces almost unrecognisable. It was as if their faces were massacred for a purpose of no one recognising any of them. However, Ashera felt so sure it was them, even though some parts of her doesn't want to believe it. It was all absurd for her, too much to bear.

On the day of the burial, her friend — Heilta stayed with her for the rest of her mourning. It was the darkest time of her life. Yet again, some parts of her still believed that they are still alive, her parents are still out there waiting for her to come. Somewhere she haven't a clue. To further support her suspicion of their death, her parents or what she believed to be her parents were not wearing their family ring during the time of the accident, or she thought.

When she turned 18, her parents gave her a silver ring with an engraved infinity sign, which her parents have too. The only difference is that her ring had the word 'Flinch' engraved on it. She can not be mistaken, knowing that her parents never did remove the ring off their fingers, neither did she. It turned out to be some sort of sacred promise they must keep no matter what happens, and so none of them shall ever break it. At least breaking the sacred promise —which is wearing and never removing the ring off their fingers— will not start on her generation as her parents said so. Weird. However, she did not mind keeping it, anyway. Let alone, her parents can be real delusional at times.

She wanted to know what happened back there in the countryside before her parents hit the road back to the city. Pretty sure she would find out something there, at least something. She would dare to risk her safety to wander the countryside and search for her aunt, that her mother had mentioned.

Ashera creaked her parents' room-door open. It is the first time she blessed her parents' room with her presence after their passing. Despite the fact that they are no longer coming back, not anymore, Ashera refused to address them as her late parents. She simply would not allow it as long as she harbours the feeling that they are still alive.

Her parents' room still look the same. Nothing had changed. Still, it looks like the owners of the room will be back anytime.