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Fated Suffering

Where two heart had been, one was left. Where love had been, death remains. Where there had once been a promise, deep, reaching beneath the depth of one's being... nothing remains. With a crude gaze and an emotionless being, he went ahead to the ten-year meeting after university had been done. Thus, he encountered his past, the very thing that tore him apart. For both, it was a moment that spiraled into a quiet, tranquil madness, one that would spiral deeper and deeper, bringing to light their most pain-inducing memories and traumas. *hopefully also found on RoyalRoad under the same author name: Meritas* *Discord server: link in bio, copy and paste into google*

Meritas · 現実
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3 Chs

Old Present

The few stray strands of light that managed to enter through the blinds fell on their sleeping forms. Her beautiful blonde hair, light in nuance almost like her fair skin, was disheveled, tickling away at his exposed chest. The two of them were sleeping so soundly, almost like the bed was made of clouds, carrying the two of them to their own world. 

With a few grunts, he opened his eyes, stretching slightly, feeling the weight of her hand over his body. With a tiny smile, his eyes moved over to her sleeping form. Her lips were softer than cotton, gentler than a mother's touch, plump just the right amount, with a soft rose color that always drove him mad for a kiss. 

Still, he chose to resist the temptation, just to allow her an extra moment of rest. 

"Come on, I know you want one," she said softly, her sleeping voice as cute as he remembered. Without much hesitation, he went for it, pressing his lips against hers in the most tender manner, feeling his heart blossom to life as she responded to his movements, the gentle gesture his favorite way to start the morning. 

"So, you were awake, huh? Cheeky little." 

He laughed along with her, peppering her face with small kisses all over, relentless in his pursuit. She giggled every time, simply wrapping her arms around him, pulling him down by her side, letting him finish before snuggling into the crook of his neck. With one quick movement, she kissed him right there, breathing softly against his skin. The sensation always made his heart reach out to hers, wishing to simply become one. 

"You know I can't help it. It's either me or you waking up first, then we just wait for the other." 

Her words were muffled against his neck, her warm breath soothing his soul. Slowly, he felt as the strands of her hair danced lightly between his fingers as he gently caressed her head, the action already engraved in his muscles. 

"Heh, that's true. So, my dear, do we get up, or do we just cuddle some more?" 

Without even opening her mouth, she simply moved on top of him, making sure to lie on his chest like a cat would, pressed up against his, simply staring into his eyes with her own loving gaze, reflecting how deep her feelings were. 

"I guess cuddles it is. You're so clingy, I love it." 

His arms tightened around her, making sure to hold her safely on him. Both remained enveloped in silence, just taking in the wordless declarations that moved between their eyes, both souls speaking in their own plane of existence. The sole thing they had to do was to be next to each other—even that was only optional, for their innermost workings were connected no matter the place. 

Without warning, she leaned forward, moving up on his body until she could press her lips against his. This time, however, it wasn't a simple kiss, no. It was their bodies talking, the primal urges within them both to simply find each other and become one body as it was meant to be. She was his rib, the very one God had used to make her. He was the body, waiting for the one who would make him whole. 

The passion between them grew like a wildfire in a drought, burning down entire forests in the blink of an eye. Her hands moved to his face, holding his cheeks like the most precious thing she had, while his arms moved gently to her waist, holding her against him with no space in between. Their muffled breaths mingled together, unison in both motion and heartbeat. Pulses aligned, her left hand moved to his hair, moving gently through it over and over in the same soothing motion he loved. Indeed, she had been his first kiss, and he had been hers. The two of them valued such things, and finding one another was nothing short of a blessing. 

Their lungs gave out, both of them panting in unison as she seated herself up on his waist, pressing softly on it. 

"I... can't we just..." 

He shook his head, knowing what she was referring to, but they both believed in the same things, so keeping their purity until marriage was a promise they'd made to each other. When he was weak, she was his strength. When she was weak, he'd do as he did now: remind her of their promise. 

"You know what we promised. I know you want to. I feel the same, but we both know it's not how it's supposed to go. Let's just wait for the right time, alright?" 

She gave a light nod, moving down by his side, lying on her back before intertwining her fingers with his, holding both their hands close to her chest, right above the heartbeat. 

"You're always the serious one. I still wonder how you can do it." 

He shrugged, smiling softly. 

"God above knows. I just try my best, since this is the one thing people fall for the easiest. It ruins things, even if they don't see it." 

She looked to the side, meeting his gaze. The dreamy look he had was something she grew familiar with, especially when it came to talking about this topic. They both had talked about it time and time again, discussing the things they would do. Still, she couldn't help but tease him a little. Moving closer, she pressed her chest against his arm, right beneath the shoulder. 

"Am I not good-looking enough for you to want to take me?" 

He looked at her chuckling softly. The way her teasing words struck a chord in his heart was unexplainable. Cheeky like usual, but that's also what he loved about her. 

"Oh, shush, and just come here." 

He pulled her into another embrace, holding her tightly as his palm rested on the back of her head. Whispering, the sounds in his heart came out. 

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes upon. That's also why I wish to wait. I don't want you for your body; I want you for your soul, my dear. I want us to grow old alone, to have a family of our own, to simply enjoy life together, then maybe even eternity." 

She simply melted in his arms, pulling her head back a little to hold his gaze. Sometimes, he'd simply start speaking seriously from a simple teasing remark, but the sincerity with which he poured out his feelings warmed her own being to the core. 

"I love you." 

He smiled softly, kissing her forehead in the most tender way he could muster. 

"I love you so much that if we're to be given wings for our eternal lives, I'd want each of us to get just one, so we could only fly together, just so we'd never get separated." 

Again, he tried a poetic approach, his sappy words making her cheeks light up. 

"Oh, you're such a sap. You're lucky I love you." 

Love. The word was familiar to them both, in more ways than one. Indeed, love sprung between them, poured from both to keep each other filled with it. Love like theirs was something that didn't happen even once in a lifetime in the case of many. It was otherworldly. 

"I can't wait to grow old with you. Just us, with a boy and a girl, living together in harmony." 

The words were powerful for them both, carrying within the intertwined wishes of them both, two lives brought together who dared thread the path of life in unison. She looked at him, smiling softly. 

"Yeah. I can't wait to see her use makeup on you and call you a princess. 'Look, mommy, dada's a princess.'" 

The words made him melt. He wished for both a boy and a girl, thinking about raising both of them with as much love as a parent could muster. 

"Heh, that sure sounds fun. I can't wait for it to become reality. It's our promise, after all. We remain for each other; we live for each other; we just... love each other." 

The words hung in the air as their eyes met. Intimate, gentle, and warm, one could call the moment however they wished, but for them, it had become something normal, something that, while common in its own right as part of their lives, carried the same weight each time. The first time is as special as the millionth time. No one could separate them—no one other than themselves.