Gil-kun and the Scary Story

During the party at the village of the Lancer Squad...

Gilgamesh, Nero and Salter were sitting around a bonfire, eating marshmallows made by Gate of Babylon's dessert maker. They had already drunk quite a bit.

"Haha, and so my uncle made his horse senator! Funniest thing I've ever heard! Hey guys, how about we tell each other scary stories to keep the mood playful?"

"Another one of your demeaning activities? I suppose that for today I will let myself take part in such foolish actions. Do you wish to start, foolish emperor?"

"I don't know, my throat is kind of dry, I've been talking for so long! Salty, do you want to start?"

"Well, it just so happens I have the perfect story to tell. So I was having a meeting with the Knights of the Round Table, ordering them what to do and silencing those who tried to speak up, as usual. Then, all of a sudden, the great gate bursts open and a green fae or fae-associated being appears with a big axe. Probably a ploy by that wench of a woman, my wife Guinevere. All she did was bear my heir and try to bring me down in secret, that damn skank.

Anyway, he starts to speak, but by that time I was already in front of him and I chopped off his head for entering my palace without my permission. But, get this, he kept talking even when his head had fallen to the ground! He tried picking it up, but before he could do it I also split his body in half. And since he had spooked me a bit, I proceeded to reduce him to small pieces of flesh. And yet, he was still moving and emitting weird and inhuman sounds. So I had him buried and executed the morons who had let him in. The end."

"That... that was..."

"Horrifying."

"Terrifying."

"Yeah, I know. He managed to freak out even me. Also I got a free axe."

"Are you still the same person as you were when this happened?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I am! The only thing is that now I learned that you should treat people with a bit of consideration and compassion and that killing and oppressing doesn't solve all problems."

"That seems... a pretty big difference."

"I don't know, it's something I started trying out recently. Do you want me to stop acting like this?"

"No, no!"

"Absolutely not!"