Megumin's Lamnent

It was late at night and the moon had risen.

"… It's getting cold. Ne, Kazuma, our quest is to take down the zombie maker right? I have a feeling it won't be a small fry like that, but a big shot undead."

"Then I'm counting on you, Archpriest," I replied.

I looked at the sword in my hand. We found a stray zombie earlier and Aqua happily taught me the turn undead skill. Right now, I'm still figuring out how to imbue my sword with divine element. It flickered around in my grip as I tweak around with its magic pattern.

Seriously, this magic control power is extremely OP. If it weren't for the perfect memory Paradox gave me, I wouldn't be able to pull off half of the feats I've done in this world. Especially since Aqua's Turn Undead spell is of goddess caliber, it's magic pattern is much more complex than anything else I've had in this world.

Well, not as powerful as the 'Sacred' spells unique to goddess. But definitely more powerful than my other spells.

Still, I do wonder, just how powerful is this goddess? I mean, she has near limitless mana. If she were to learn some powerful spells, will she be able to defeat… say, the demon king himself?

"Kazuma!!"

"Ye-yes! I'm Kazuma!" I looked around and found myself staring at blue pillar of light. "What's going on!?"

Aqua sighed in relief. "Really, zoning out like that, I thought you were possessed!" she pointed at a robed figure hunched in the distance. "There's a lich!"

A lich? Isn't that some sort of a top tier undead or something? What's a lich doing in the beginner's town? Or is it my trouble magnet curse acting up?

I turned towards Megumin who's aiming at the lich with her staff.

"Okay…" I turned to everyone else. "Aqua and I are going to distract the lich, Darkness you protect Megumin while she prepares the explosion spell. Megumin, wait for my command, I'm quite curious how your spell would fare against the super powerful undead Lich.

Megumin nodded, her eyes flashing with determination.

"You ready goddess?"

An evil grin spread across her face and her fist lights up with divine power. "Say no more…"

Aqua went after the magic circle first, stomping and destroying it like piece of trash. The lich hurried after Aqua, but I'm having none of it. I concentrated the divine power on to my cheap 3000 Eris blade and charged at it.

"Not on my watch Lich! Megumin get ready!" I exclaimed before holding the… Lich? At sword point.

The supposed Lich looks nothing like I expected. Instead of an ugly skeletal face, I'm staring at a buxom brown haired woman in her twenties. She has that panicked and fearful expression on her face, like an innocent bystander that just got caught up at something else entirely.

I lowered my weapon and glanced Aqua. "Psst, Aqua, are you sure this is a Lich?"

"Yeah, she stinks of the dead!"

"Eep! So cruel…" the woman cried. "I-I am a Lich but I'm not a bad Lich, no please stop!" she crawled towards Aqua who's destroying the magic circle. "This magic circle is used to send the wandering spirits to heaven! Look, the spirits are floating from the magic circle towards the sky right?"

I looked up at the sky. True to her words, there's a bunch of spirits floating up to the heavens.

A powerful wave of magic appeared behind me. I turned around and saw Megumin just finishing her spell. "WAIT! Megumin! False alarm! Stop the explosion!!!"

Megumin gritted her teeth. "I… can't…"

"Shoot it at the moon!!!"

"EXPLOSION!!!"

For ten seconds the night was banished from the sky. An orb of light appeared above the clouds of Axel, lighting up the entire cemetery. We all simply gazed at the sky, staring at the raw power of the explosion spell.

Soon enough, the explosion dies down and Megumin dropped flat on the ground. We looked back at the Lich and found her still staring at us in fear.

"Ano, thank you for sparing me…" Wiz said timidly.

Aqua glared at the Lich and her hands began lighting up with power. "Don't be mistaken Lich! You are not out of the chopping block yet!" she stepped towards the undead and she cowered behind me.

"Please! I swear I was just purifying the spirits in this cemetery, I'm not doing anything bad please!"

"You are acting too arrogant for a Lich! An Arch priest like me will perform such benevolent acts, so just scram! You are taking too much time, watch me purify the whole cemetery along with you! Sacred…"

"Hold on Aqua!" I exclaimed, cutting off her off mid spell. "At least let me converse with this Lich first, maybe she's not that bad?"

Aqua rolled her eyes and folded her arms on her chest. "Fine, make it quick…" she muttered in annoyance.

"Alright, get up, tell us what you're doing here Ms. Lich? Do you have a name?"

"It-it's Wiz, thank you for saving me…" she bowed a little. "As you can see, I am a Lich, the overlord of the undying. As the overlord, I could hear the voice of the spirits wandering in the world. Most of the spirits in this public cemetery don't have money and didn't have a proper burial, so they couldn't move on to the afterlife and loiter the cemetery every night. Since I am an overlord, I will visit periodically and send the children on their way."

If that story is true, she has got to be the kindest undead I've ever met.

"I think that is a wonderful thing, but… Although I am not Aqua, wouldn't it be better to leave this to the priest in this town?" I asked her.

Wiz looked down, as if hesitant to reply. "W-well… The priest of this town is…" she gulped a little and shifted ever so slightly to put myself between her and Aqua. "Be, because… the priest in this town are materialistic… Eh, no, I mean… the rites for those without money would be pushed down their waiting list… something like that…"

Ah, I understand. "Since that is the case, it couldn't be helped. But could you stop animating the zombies? We are here because of a quest to defeat the zombie maker."

"Ah… I see… But I didn't animate them, the corpses that are intact would rise automatically due to my magic every time I come… Erm, I won't have any reason to visit if the spirits in the cemetery won't wander anymore and return to heaven… So… How should we resolve this?"

How should we resolve this? Aqua can replace her duty… Perhaps. And then there's the quest itself. Without the Zombie maker around, we can't really turn in any bounty, which means that this mission is failed.

"Wait, you're an overlord of undead aren't you?"

"W-well it's more like a position but, yes… why?"

I grinned a little. "Can you summon a Zombie Maker for us?"

Wiz blinked a little before furiously shaking her head. "N-no! That's dangerous!" she exclaimed. "I-I don't want to hurt anyone!"

Is this… Is this actually a lich?

"Don't worry Wiz, if anything goes wrong, she," Aqua cracked her knuckles threateningly behind me. "Can take care of it, I just want to try out my new technique against a slightly more powerful foe, you understand?"

Wiz nodded a little. "O-okay, but please be careful, okay?" she then closed her eyes and a zombie walked up towards her. She gently touched the zombie's forehead and a black miasma started surrounding it. "Here, this undead is now a zombie maker."

The Zombie maker groaned a little and made a pose. Two more zombies appeared at either side of it. Then it twirled on the ground and made another pose. Two more zombies appeared from the ground surrounding it.

I decided to ignore the fact that it's dancing and brandished my cheap new sword. I concentrated on the 'Turn Undead' spell and tried to imbue it on my blade. It works perfectly this time and my sword shone brightly.

Even Wiz took a step back in fear at the sight of it.

"Yosh! Here goes something!" I exclaimed before slicing the front backup dancer zombie with my sword. The sword slices through the zombie and the 'wound' melt through it before destroying it completely. "Oh wow!"

"Hieee! Is-is that the Divine Blade Skill? And without chanting…" Wiz asked carefully. "Also, could you please not hold it so close to me, hya! It burns…"

"Is this what it's called?" I looked at my blade. It flickers a little after I hit that zombie, but it's still glowing like a freaking lightsaber. "Well, time to finish this off then!"

I dealt the backup dancer zombies with relative ease, leaving only the zombie maker. I took a deep breath, pour mana into my blade, before stabbing the zombie straight through its chest. "Rest in peace!" I exclaimed.

A spot of light grew from where I stabbed it before slowly growing and growing until it swallows the Zombie Maker in a bright holy light before finally it disappeared from existence, leaving only dust and ashes behind.

I deactivated the blade and realized that Wiz has already distanced herself ten feet away from me. "Don't worry, I'm done, see?" I showed her the blade. "It's just a regular sword," I told her.

Wiz slowly walked towards me. Her expression still a bit fearful. "I-I'm not a bad undead, really… Please don't purify me…"

"No, it's okay, I won't," I turned around and realized that she's actually talking to Aqua. The goddess has that flat look on her face and a very dangerous magic brewing in her fist. "Aqua, Wiz isn't a bad undead, at least make an exception just this once, okay?"

Aqua looked away from me. "Fine! But I'm not letting her keep doing as she wish. From now on, I will personally purify the souls in this cemetery!" she exclaimed.

Well, giving her a responsibility might be a perfect chance for her to grow.

"It's a deal then," I turned to Wiz and gestured at Aqua. "Aqua here will replace you with the cemetery purifying duty, what do you think?"

Wiz smiled a little and nodded. "That would be lovely, thank you Aqua san, and…"

"Kazuma,"

"Kazuma san, thank you,"

I gave her a thumb up. "Well, I'll be seeing you later Wiz san," I then walked towards the downed Megumin and gently lifted off the ground. "Sorry again Megumin, we'll try again next time, okay?"

The Crimson Demon said nothing, she just let me pick her up and piggyback her out of the graveyard. Darkness walked ahead of us, leading the way while Aqua still lingers a little, watching the Lich cleaning up behind us in suspicion.

"Say, Kazuma,"

"What is it Megumin?"

"I would like to formally resign from the party..."

...

...

...

"Excuse me, what the fuck?" I accidentally voiced my thoughts out loud.

Her grip on my shoulder tightens, in front of me Darkness tactfully dragged Aqua away, giving us some privacy.

"I..." Megumin's voice trembled ever so slightly. "I feel like I am not... My true potential as an Archwizard cannot be achieved in this party..."

I stopped walking and lowered Megumin to the ground, making sure to keep supporting her body.

The Archwizard stood before me, gripping her staff with the last of her strength. Her face is hidden behind her hat and her body is trembling in exhaustion.

"Megumin..." I spoke softly. "I'm sorry that we couldn't make use of your-"

"Don't apologize to me you idiot..." Megumin hissed. "Stop doing that, stop apologizing..." her breathing shuddered. "I just... I..."

The girl turned silent, she lowered her head even more. I can hear a soft sobbing sound from under her hat.

Okay, how the fuck did I fucked up this badly?

"I'm sorry..." her voice broke the silence. "I couldn't save Darkness... I couldn't defeat the Rookie Killer... I couldn't beat the Lich... I couldn't... I'm sorry..."

"Megumin," I crouched down to her level and gently lifted her hat. "You don't have to apologize,"

Tears trickled down her chin, eyes low unable to meet my gaze, mouth quivered holding back her sobbing.

"I'm not..." she closed her eyes. "I'm not the archwizard you're looking for..." her body went limp as she finally broke down to tears. "I'm just here because you pitied me... I'm holding you back... The explosion spell is useless! I GET IT!"

I hugged her tightly, letting her staff drop on to the ground. The girl finally let go, burying her face into my chest. For the next few minutes, I said nothing, I simply sat there, softly stroking her back and do my best to comfort her.

"Aqua can heal us, she can buff us, she can purify undead..." the girl sobbed. "Darkness can protect us, she can take on anything, she... She's a perfect crusa-der" her breathing staggered.

"Megumin,"

"And you can do anything," she gripped my shirt. "You can use swords, you can use bow, you can use spells, you can... You don't... You never need me!"

Okay... Perhaps being in the sidelines for three missions straight would break her self confidence. It's... I guess it's my fault for even letting this happen, I really need to incorporate magic nuke in my strategy.

"Listen, Megumin... You're..." I took a deep breath. "Do you remember who I am? Who I was..."

The girl nodded in my embrace. "You're a hero... a legend..." she whispered.

Yeah, that's a lie, but let's go with that.

"That's right, but do you know what I was also? A master strategist. I've lead armies to battle and I have trained even the weakest of men into victory..." I brought my face close to her ear. "And Megumin... If you choose to listen to me... If you would do anything I say..."

I can feel the girl shivering in my embrace, holding her breath in attention.

"In five years people will not see you as a mere Archwizard," I gripped her shoulder. "In five years, people will see you as destruction incarnate, you shall be hailed as the Mistress of Destruction, nations itself shall tremble in your presence..."

I slowly pushed myself away from her, gazing at her straight in her eyes.

"Stay with us and you shall become the Goddess of Explosion. Forget casting a spell once a day, you will be casting explosion like it was as effortless as breathing..."

I put a finger under chin, forcing her to face me.

"Do you understand?"

The little girl nodded, eyes wide and tears streaming down her face.

"Why would you go that far?" she whispered.

"Because I am Satou Kazuma! The Champion of Wisdom and the Greatest Adventurer to ever walk this land," I did my best chuuni impression. "And you are Megumin, the most powerful Archwizard to ever walk this land, one who has mastered the hardest and most powerful spell ever created... The Explosion Spell!"

A smile slowly cracked on her face and the little girl giggled softly. "Kazuma..." she said. "You... you better show me something good with all that pep-talk, crimson demons takes promises like this very seriously,"

"Just listen to what I say Megumin..."

After resting for a few minutes, we continued our way home. For the rest of the journey, Megumin hugged me tighter from behind. Pressing her head against my back and her arms wrapped tightly around my collarbone.

Now one question remains…

Should I bang her?

Well of course!

What? No! She's just a kid!

She's just two years younger than you, she's legal loli!

She's barely fourteen, that's nowhere near the word legal!

Alright, let's try another approach… Should we build a long lasting relationship with her?

Well… She's cute but… She's a chuuni!

Since when do we have a problem with Chuuni?

Since now I guess?

Just consider her as potential partner. She's not bad!