20. Chapter 20

Carina pulls up to the Bishop house. “Okay. Here we are, m’lady.”

Maya looks up. She’s spent the last five minutes thinking and not paying attention to where they were driving. “What are we doing here?” She looks over at her house.

“You wanted to go home.” Carina drove Maya home.

Maya looks over at Carina sheepishly. “Not where I live. Your home.”

Carina wrinkles up her face but then shakes her head. “Okay.” She puts the car back in gear and drives to her house.

It’s not dark yet when they get there. Carina unlocks the door. Andrew is sitting in the living room watching tv. “Is papa home?”

Andrew nods. “Si, he’s in his office.”

“Hi, Andrew.” Maya says timidly.

“Hey, Maya.” He nods at her before returning to his show.

Maya looks over at the tv as some medical show plays. There are doctors rushing around a patient that is bleeding in a hospital bed. “Is this real?”

“Yeah.” Andrew nods, eyes glued to the tv. “It’s called Trauma: Life in the ER. It’s in reruns now. They show it on Saturday nights. I like watching it.”

“Okay.” Maya watches the scene on the tv play out as the doctors and nurses frantically try to save the man that is bleeding.

“I’m going to say hi to papa.” Carina says. She doesn’t get a response from Andrew or Maya. “Okay, then. I’ll be right back.”

When she comes back, Maya is still standing there watching the show. They have moved on to another case. “You’ve never seen this before?” Carina is the one to ask.

“It’s on TLC.” Maya says as if that’s an explanation. When she looks over at Carina and sees that she doesn’t understand and says more. “We don’t have cable at my house. We only get the basic five or six network channels or whatever it is. My dad says that cable tv is just junk to fill people’s heads.”

Carina nods and sits on the opposite end of the couch from her brother. She tugs on the beltloops on Maya’s shorts, pulling her down into her lap. “Do you want to watch it?”

“Can we?” She wraps her arm right arm around Carina’s neck, eyes very much still glued to the tv.

A hum is Carina’s answer as she wraps her arms around Maya’s waist and Maya leans back relaxing against Carina. All three of them are intrigued and glued to the show, even as it switches from one episode to another, and then another.

Andrew glances over at his sister and her companion between cases on the show, or during a commercial break, here and there. But neither of them even realizes he is watching them, observing, as this blonde girl sits in his sister’s lap with Carina’s arms wrapped around her loosely, effortlessly.

He smirks during one commercial break when Carina whispers something in Maya’s ear, that he can’t hear, and then presses a kiss to her cheek.

At midnight, some other show comes on. “Go to bed, Andrea.” Carina tells him.

“Are you making French toast in the morning?”

“Only if you go to bed.” She grins.

Andrew grunts and heads for bed.

Maya turns to Carina as soon as he goes. “Can I come over and watch tv all summer?”

Carina laughs.

“I’ll house sit while you’re in Italy.” Maya tries.

Carina laughs more before biting at her lower lip. “Maria, will take care of the house while we are gone.”

“Damn.” Maya hangs her head.

Carina presses two fingers to Maya jaw, lifting her head gently. “Baciami.”

Maya smiles faintly before shifting in Carina’s lap so that she is sideways and at a better angle for a kiss, wrapping both arms around Carina’s neck and leaning in for a smooch.

Carina’s hand finds Maya’s thigh, rubbing back and forth, back and forth before she reaches for Maya’s backside. Maya smirks into the kiss, reaches down, and moves Carina’s hand to her waist. Carina giggles and pulls away from the kiss but rests her forehead against Maya. “You smell like pool.” Maya mumbles.

“So do you.”

“Let’s go upstairs.” Maya pops to her feet and runs through the house and up the stairs to Carina’s bedroom. The end of the party still lingers with Maya but she’s trying not to think about it too much. She doesn’t want to ruin the time she has with Carina tonight. If Owen says something they will deal with it tomorrow or the next day.

Carina hurries after her but by the time she gets to her room the door is closed and Maya is inside. “What are you-“ She pushes the door open and sees Maya sitting on the end of the bed with her shirt off, her bikini top the only thing covering her torso. “Oh.” Carina shuts the door and comes over.

“Sit.” Maya nods down to her lap, feeling embolden somehow. That intimidation is still there. Maya’s starting to think it might always be there, just simmering beneath the surface. She can let it deter her or she can try to move past it. Carina’s experience and sexual history, compared to hers, are always going to be there, there’s nothing to change that. Well, there’s something…

The thrill that runs through Carina’s body is like an electric shock. She doesn’t waste any time in moving over and sitting in Maya’s lap.

“You know, I’ve fantasized about a scenario just like this.”

Maya reaches up and tucks some hair behind each of Carina’s ears. “You have?” She lays her hands on Carina’s shoulders.

“I have.”

“Tell me about it.” Maya braves.

Carina smirks. “Can I show you too?”

Maya nods.

“Dio mio.” Carina takes a deep breath, looking down between their bodies. “Before that-“ She runs her hands over Maya’s shoulder. “You are- you are very scrumptious.”

“What?” Maya scoffs. “That makes it sound like you want to eat me.”

Carina grins. “Well-“ She shrugs. “Eventually, I do.”

Maya blushes. “I walked right into that one, didn’t I?”

Carina nods. “But you’re gorgeous Maya. I don’t know how you don’t see it. All of you. From these lips.” She kisses them. “To this adorable little button nose.” She boops the nose with a fingertip. “And those magnificent eyes.” Carina smiles. “Shall I continue?” Maya nods and licks her lips. “And these runner’s abs.” Carina runs a hand over Maya’s tight stomach. Maya shivers in response. Carina grabs the backs of Maya’s arm. “And strong biceps.” She bends down and presses a kiss to Maya’s collarbone on the right side, before moving over to the left. “Do I need to mention these?” She cups each of Maya’s breasts, eliciting a groan from the blonde.

“I’ve thought about this.” She rubs her thumbs over Maya’s nipples, over the thin material of her bikini top. “Sitting in your lap, making out, shirt off, being able to feel your skin against mine.” Carina leans back and rips her shirt off and then presses herself against Maya, stomach to stomach, chest to chest. “Like that.” She grinds herself into Maya’s lap and watches as Maya’s eyes flutter closed. “You like that?” Maya nods. Carina moves so her cheek is next to Maya’s, whispering in her ear. “There’s a lot we can do above the waist.”

Maya’s fingernails dig into Carina’s back, leaving little crescent shapes as she moves her hands around trying to feel as much of Carina’s back and keep Carina pressed against her. The little bit of moving coming from Carina’s hip, providing the most delightful feeling as their stomachs and chests press together and rub against each other.

With one arm wrapped around Maya’s back, Carina reaches up the other hand, caresses Maya’s cheek, and kisses her.

When Maya falls back onto the bed a few minutes later, out of breath, and with a big grin on her lips Carina knows she got her absolutely hooked. She runs her thumb over Maya’s lips before taking Maya’s hands in each of hers and holding them above Maya’s head as she bends down to reconnect their lips. Playful, at first, but soon turning heated and fighting for dominance.

That is until Maya wraps her legs around Carina and rolls them over. She sits up, astride Carina’s hips, and grins triumphantly. Carina can’t help but laugh. “Someone’s found their confidence.”

Maya rolls her eyes and falls forward onto the bed at Carina’s side. “I didn’t know just kissing, making out, could make me feel like this.”

“Me either.”

“What?” Maya doesn’t think that can be right. Did Carina just say that?

Carina bites her lip, nervous. She thinks it has something to do with Maya and the feelings she has for her. “I mean-“ This is different for her than it has been before and she’s just realizing that right now. “Uh, I like you.” Carina knows that sounds lame, but she doesn’t want to say that she has feelings for Maya or that she might be falling in love with her. That would be ridiculous at this point. But she knows that’s why this feels different. “I’m like attracted to you and stuff and turned on and excited or whatever.”

Maya stares at Carina. She’s never seen something like this from Carina before. She can actually see that Carina is nervous about something. But Carina won’t look her in the eye, so she doesn’t feel like she can ask about it. Whatever it is, Carina isn’t ready to talk about. Maya finds Carina’s hand, holding it in hers, interlocking their fingers together as she turns onto her side.

“I want to come visit you when you’re in Portland.” Maya says changing the subject, giving Carina an out.

Carina finally looks over at that.

“I’m anxious about it. But, I think, if I get a plan together and know the route. But I suppose I have to figure out a way to get there.” Maya is trying to put a plan together in her head. Something that is more solid than just thoughts like, if she can put a voice to it, it might actually happen.

“There’s buses and Amtrak train.” Carina says, hopeful.

Maya smiles, pressing a kiss to Carina’s cheek.

“It’s only about a three hour drive, ya know.” Carina tells Maya.

“Is it?” Maya knows it isn’t that far. Her father’s sister lives in Portland. She’s been there before when she was little. It seemed like it took longer than three hours to get there though and Maya wonders now if that was just because she was little.

“Is that what you’re worried about or ‘freaked out’ about? How far away it is?” Carina asks, her little embarrassment from earlier forgotten as she turns onto her side to face Maya, so she doesn’t have to strain her neck.

“My brain just went there when your dad said you were going to school in Portland. Like, ahhhh Portland- that’s so far from here. But it’s really not. It’s just that the brain jumps to that.” Maya tries to explain her thought process.

“I’ll come home too. To visit Andrea and papa. And maybe if you ask nicely, you too.” Carina brings Maya’s hand to her lips, kissing the back of it.

Maya closes her eyes. “Would you?”

“Absolutely.” Carina runs her thumb across Maya’s cheek and Maya opens her eyes. “Not every weekend but maybe once a month. And then there’s Homecoming, and Halloween, and Thanksgiving. We’ll see each other then.”

Maya nods and cuddles against Carina.

“Are you staying tonight?”

Maya kisses Carina as a reply.

“Okay.” Carina chuckles.

“I was looking forward to spending as much of my summer with you as possible.” Maya mentions. “I think that should include many sleepovers, and nights like this. Carina, I-“ She falters. “I want to get to know you and your family and your friends. I want to get over this fear that I have of all this uncertainty. It’s the first time in my life that I want something that is truly only for me.”

Carina scoffs. “What about me?”

“You know what I mean. It’s about me and not about running, or my competitions, or what my dad sees and wants. It might be important to separate the two. I think- I think- I don’t know.” Maya throws her head back in frustration.

Carina giggles a little. “You’ll get there. Wherever it is you want to go, you’ll get there. You have that drive in you to set your mind to something and achieve it.”

Maya smiles, happily. “You’re so wonderful to me. That’s another thing. Like, I don’t know how to do this.” She motions between them. “I’ve never been in a relationship before.”

“Neither have I.” Carina admits.

Maya narrows her eyes at her. She sits up. “You’re lying.” First the kissing thing, now this.

Carina shakes her head, following Maya to sit up. “I’m not.”

“But you and Owen. And then-“

“What have you heard?” Carina scoots closer to Maya folding one leg underneath herself.

“Oh.” Maya ducks her head slightly. This goes back to gossip and rumors that Maya had heard about Carina before they really knew each other. “Well, about Owen obviously. And that there was this girl last summer?” Maya isn’t sure if that actually happened or not.

“Her name was Arizona.” Carina confirms with a little smirk. “Do you really want to hear about this? I will put to bed any rumors that you have heard. I will squash any misconceived notions. But only if you think you want to hear it.” Carina knows there’s rumors out there. She knows people talk. She was one of the popular kids at school. At first, it was that she was the new kid and rumors were about where she was from and about her past. Carina has never confirmed or denied anything publicly though. Then there were rumors and gossip about who she was ‘seeing’.

Maya thinks about it. She thinks maybe it will help. If she knows the truth, then it won’t be so scary anymore. “I’m not sure.” She fiddles with her hands in her lap. Her legs folded, pretzel style.

Carina reaches out, putting her hand on top of Maya’s. Maya chews on her lip but looks up. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Okay.” Carina thinks back, a bit of a wistful look in her eyes. “I was in Italy two summers ago. There was this boy. His name was Romeo.”

Maya laughs. “No?”

Carina rolls her eyes. “His name was Romeo. I met him at the beach the end of my first week I was there. We were only there for two weeks and then moving on to see my mamma’s family. He was gorgeous. He had this shoulder length dark brown hair, with highlights from being out in the sun. His skin was so tan, and he had these long legs and arms. Hardly any muscle though. I did tease him about that. He spoke no English, so we communicated all in Italian. It was the first time since I was very little that I knew someone who didn’t know even a little English. He knew like yes and no and hello but that was it. He was charming though and I fell for it. He swept me off my feet and into bed. I only ever saw him three times. The first day I met him, the second time when we slept together, and the third I saw him in passing at the beach when I was with my family.”

“Then there was-“

“Wait, that was it?” Maya is stunned.

Carina nods. “Si.” She pulls Maya’s hands into her lap, causing Maya to lean forward. “Then there was- Trent, Trevor. Something. I don’t remember. At the start of our junior year. He was a senior. I don’t remember his name because I didn’t want to remember afterwards. It was a one night thing. He asked me out on a date. The date was horrible. We went to Applebee’s. That was the best part of the date. The food I ate. But he was a jerk, I found out. He said derogatory things to our waitress and complained that she was taking too long. The restaurant was busy that night. I asked him to drive me home after dinner. He got all pissy about it, but did, and then he tried to kiss me in the car. I shoved him away and ran into the house. Never spoke to him again.”

Carina shakes her head and flips Maya’s hands over, inspecting them closing. “I didn’t want to date anyone for a long time after that. He put me off of liking anyone for a while.”

Maya smiles softly as she watches Carina’s every move. She listens to every word that comes from Carina’s lips.

“I went on a few dates with James Brooks from our class at the end of Junior year. We went to a party together and I gave him a hand job. That was it. It never went anywhere. He didn’t seem too interested in me. I think he was in it to say that he was dating me. A status thing. And I didn’t really want to bother with someone who wasn’t going to add anything to it.”

Maya wrinkles up her face. She doesn’t think that Carina is watching, she been looking down at their hands while she speaks.

“What?” Carina asks though.

“Nothing. I just-“

Carina smirks and sits up a little straighter. “What?”

“I wasn’t interested. I told you to basically fuck off. So, what’s the difference?”

Carina leans forward, pressing a simple kiss to the corner of Maya’s mouth. “I’m getting there.”

“Oh.” This all seems very, well, almost sad, in Maya’s opinion. The way Carina is recounting these tales. She wonders if it’s like that for everyone. That your first experiences with relationships and sex and love aren’t necessarily good. Or that there isn’t something to them that is worth holding onto. Maya doesn’t have a clue. She has nothing to base any of this off of expect for the brief time that she and Carina have been together. That hasn’t been bad but there have definitely been things that have happened that she wouldn’t want to repeat again.

“Last summer I went to the mall. I was looking for something new, cute to wear while I was in Italy. I think I was naively romanticizing about Romeo and seeing him again.” Carina scoffs. “That never happened, by the way.” She smiles. “But I was in the changing room and there was someone in the stall next to me. They were clearly struggling with something, so I asked if they needed help. They said yes and unlocked their door and I entered. She was stuck in the shirt she was trying on.”

“Arizona?”

“Si.” Carina nods. “She had this blonde hair, shoulder length hair.” She grins and wiggles her eyebrows.

“Do you have a type?” Maya teases.

Carina shrugs. “Maybe. I think I’d be into you whether your hair was blonde or brown or red or black or purple.”

“Oh, purple. Maybe that’s a look I should try. Like, a punk rock Maya Bishop.” Maya teases.

Carina nods. She would like to see that. “You can borrow my Chucks. And we can cut all the sleeves off your t-shirts. And you can get some black jeans with holes in the knees.”

Maya laughs at the image Carina is putting together.

“I spent that entire afternoon with her.” Carina switches back. “Which is weird because we didn’t know each other at all. But I saw her there in the changing room, helped her out of her shirt. We spent time trying on different clothes for hours and showing them off to each other in various states of undress. For the first time, I felt this connection with someone. I don’t think I knew what it was at the time. I liked her and I didn’t understand it until after it was over.”

Carina takes a deep breath. “It was a little strange now that I think about it. That was really the only day we hung out. It was mostly just her coming over here and us making out or hooking up, having sex. Trying to figure out how to have sex.” Carina laughs. “Sometimes I went to her house but only ever when her parents were gone. No one ever saw us together. I think that’s what the excitement of it was. Everything was in secret and that thrill of not getting caught.”

“Why didn’t you want anybody to know?” Maya doesn’t mean about the sex parts. “Like, in general?”

Carina shrugs. “I don’t think she wanted her parents to know. I don’t know. I didn’t really either. It wasn’t ever really talked about.” She lets go of Maya’s hands. They remain in her laps as Carina moves her hands to Maya’s knees. “It lasted until I went to Italy. A little over three weeks, almost four weeks, I think. Seeing each other a couple times for those weeks.” Carina pulls her lips to one side. “That was about a year ago.”

“What happened with her when you were in Italy? Or when you got back?” Maya is extremely nervous about the answers and what they might reveal about Carina, and what they mean for herself.

“Nothing. I tried calling her when I got back from Italy, but she never replied to any messages I left.” She rubs her hands over Maya’s knees to help soothe herself. “I think I was more than a little bummed about that. Even though it was mostly us just hooking up. I think I wanted more than that. She clearly didn’t though.”

“I’m sorry.” Maya whispers.

Carina shakes her head. “I think that experience changed me. I went to Italia thinking that when I got back there was going to be more to look forward to with her.”

Maya hums at the disappointed look on Carina’s face, in her voice. She untangles her pretzel legs and scoots forward so she’s closer to Carina, putting her legs over each of Carina’s, near her hips.

“Wait.” Carina stops her as pulls her leg out from underneath herself, she knows that it will fall asleep if she leaves it like that and Maya does what she thinks she’s about to do. “Okay.”

Maya finishes her scoot, sliding her legs over Carina’s spread legs, situating herself more or less in Carina’s lap, facing her, her ankles tangled together behind Carina’s back. She reaches up, slipping her hand over Carina’s ear, tucking some hair back in the process.

Carina grips at Maya’s waist, releasing a shaky breath. Maya presses her forehead to Carina’s and Carina closes her eyes. Maya rubs her thumb over the Carina’s cheekbone. “I promise I’ll be here when you get back.” Maya whispers.

Carina sighs and wraps her arms around Maya, pulling them tight together. Maya’s hand moving from her cheek to her back of her head. She shifts her head over to the side, resting her chin against Maya’s shoulder, leaning into her further, as she grips around her back. She presses a quick kiss to Maya’s shoulder before resting her chin against the spot again.

The blonde never would have thought this is where they would end up when this conversation started. She’s also learned more about Carina then she would have in any other way if she decided she didn’t want to know about Carina’s history. Big, strong, brave, confident Carina seems so soft, shy, and vulnerable right now; showing Maya again that maybe everything isn’t as it might seem.

Carina starts toying with the strings of Maya’s swimsuit top. Maya tilts back at that, trying to see Carina’s face. “You wanna be done?”

Carina shakes her head. “I want to finish. I want you to know everything.”

“Okay.” Maya takes a deep breath before letting it out.

“Last fall, there was Owen. Both times were after football games. At parties. I didn’t want- I didn’t want to get burned again. So, I just slept with him and that was it. I didn’t even want to talk to him other than that. I guess, I used him. I didn’t want to feel about him the way I had felt about Arizona. So, I didn’t let it happen. And maybe I used him as a way to try to get over her.”

Maya nods.

“Over Christmas break, last winter, there was a girl from the hospital. We went to the hospital Christmas party as a family. Papa, Andrea, and I. She was there. We just flirted. I didn’t get her number or anything. It was just a little bit of fun.”

Carina runs her hands down the length of Maya’s back, finding her hips, where she bends at the waist, tucking her thumb into the beltloops on the front of Maya’s jean shorts. “And then there was you.” Carina winks. “I didn’t really see it as a possibility at first. I knew who you were. You were, or we were, always running into each other. Sometimes literally.”

“Are you saying I’m clumsy?” Maya teases, trying to lighten the mood.

“No.” Carina shakes her head. “But then we were paired up in Bio and you got in my head, and I couldn’t get you out. So, I pursued it. And you know the rest.”

“You were very persistent. I will give you credit for that.” Maya licks her lips. “You all done?”

“Yeah.” Carina nods. “Why?”

Maya reaches up, cradling Carina’s face in her hands. “So I can kiss you again.”

Carina grins into the kiss, super fucking happy. Even though this started out as a way to assuage Maya’s insecurities and worry, Carina feels like it was helpful to her as well. She’s never told anybody all of that. Some of her friends know this or that but not the details of anything. “You don’t think I’m some sort of ho?” That’s Carina’s only concern now.

Maya chuckles.

Carina pouts.

Maya wipes her thumb over those lips. “Sorry. I’m not laughing at you. Just the fact that you would ask that.”

Carina hums.

Maya runs her thumb to the middle of Carina’s lower lips, tugging it down. Carina opens her jaw and bites down on Maya’s thumb and Maya giggles. But then Carina sucks that thumb into her mouth and the giggle falls away from Maya and is replaced by a little hum as Carina pulls back, popping the digit from her mouth.

“What do you think?”

“About?”

Carina laughs. “Everything I just told you.”

“Oh.” Maya takes a moment to take stock. “I, for sure, feel like I know you better now. And it explains somethings, like, how earlier you said that you didn’t know kissing could feel so good. I had thought you kissed lots of people the same way you kissed me.”

Carina shakes her head. “I’ve kissed people, yes. But- but- it’s different with you. It’s not about- like that was-“ She sighs. Carina doesn’t know why this is so hard to explain. “It was only ever as a part of a hook up.”

Maya doesn’t know what that means, in a contextual manner or just in a general sense.

“Does that help?”

Maya shrugs and then chuckles awkwardly. “I have no idea.” She flops backwards so she’s laying on her back, legs still wrapped around Carina. She runs her hands up and down Carina’s legs that bracket her body.

“Ah, ah, ah.” Carina waves a finger at her. “Above the waist.” She grins and bites her lip.

Maya laughs and holds her hands in the air. She’s glad they can tease each other about it because when Maya first said ‘hands above the waist’ she didn’t want it to sound like some ultimatum or some strict order that needed to be followed precisely.

She turns her head to the side, eyes falling on the bump and bruise that are still on Carina’s shin from a week ago when Maya made that rule. The wound has improved. There’s no band-aid on it anymore and the bruise is a green-yellow color now instead of red-purple. She reaches her hand over, running her thumb over the area lightly before pressing a kiss there.

“Maya.” Carina whispers.

That brings Maya’s eye back to Carina’s. Carina pats at Maya’s legs around her and Maya unwraps them. Carina gets to her knees and then on her hands and knees and crawls over Maya. She throws her hair all to over her left side, twisting it in the hopes that it will stay over there for a bit. She leans down and pressing her lips to the hollow of Maya’s throat, then moving to the juncture at the side of Maya’s neck where it meets her shoulder, grazing her lips over that spot lightly. She grins against the skin before wrapping her lips around the spot and sucking.

“Ahhh.” Maya’s toes curl. “Carina.” She reaches up and grabs at the back of Carina’s head.

Carina comes up giggling. “Cosa?” She looks into Maya eyes.

“Are you trying to make a mark?”

“Si?” She grins, guilty.

Maya’s eyes widen. “Don’t.”

Carina frowns. “Really?”

Maya scratches her fingernails against the back of Carina’s head. “Not where someone can see it.”

Carina smiles softly. Her eyes shift from Maya over to the spot that she left on Maya’s neck. She reaches up and rubs her finger over the spot. “We’ll have to take care of that in the morning, then.” She glances back over at Maya. “It’s like I can’t control myself around you.”

“Stop it.” Maya rolls her eyes.

“Ah, no. It’s true.” Carina moves to lay at Maya’s side. Her elbow pressed into the bed, arm up, hand propping her head up.

“Are you some horny teenage boy?” She thinks Carina is more mature and in control than that.

“Yes.”

Maya rolls her eyes.

“No, not like how you are thinking. Like, I feel like I have this need to be around you, and touch you, and be connected with you in some way. Does that make sense? Not in that horny way, it feels more needy than anything.”

“Aren’t they kind of the same thing?”

Carina shrugs. “Maybe.” She doesn’t know it all. She doesn’t have all the answers. “Does that seem creepy?”

“No.” Maya shakes her head. “I think-“ She hums. “-if you really like someone then you want to be around them as much as possible. Right?”

Carina nods. “Yeah.”

“And it can feel weird or needy or like you are feeling too much or like it’s more than it should be maybe.” Maya tries to explain the way she sees it.

Carina is a little surprise. She’s in shock that Maya is thinking and maybe feeling the same way that she is. “What do you want to do this summer?” She changes the subject though, not wanting to go further than she’s willing to or comfortable with as far as feelings are concerned right now. Carina knows she’s in trouble though, when it comes to Maya. Everything she’s ever felt for the girl has only intensified in recent weeks.

“Well, I’ve got to finish the track season. So that’s first. I have to stay focused on that for the next two weeks. But I think I went to go out with you. Like on a date. Dates. I don’t like the idea of people gossiping about us though.”

There’s a hum from Carina. “You wanna know what I think?” Maya nods and smiles, hoping to hear every thought that Carina has. “I would like to go out on a date with you. I want to do something for your birthday, for sure. And-“ She rubs her palm across Maya’s stomach, grasping at her opposite hip. “I think there are two ways to handle gossip. Either ignore it. If it does happen. We wait and see if Owen opens his big fat mouth.” She throws her leg over Maya’s, leaning into her. “If he doesn’t, then great. And if there is gossip you either ignore it or you confirm or deny it. I guess in this case, it’s confirm but then you are giving it a voice. The opportunity for it to grow and be heard by more people. Maybe the wrong people.” Carina knows it’s tricky and that there’s no right answer.

“Do you want us to be a secret?” She thinks about how Carina and Arizona were a secret.

“Not really.” Carina shakes her head. “What about you?”

Maya isn’t sure. She knows she doesn’t want her father knowing about them being together. He doesn’t even want her to be friends with Carina. But it might not be bad if other people know, people that aren’t going to go around announcing it to anyone else.

But before she can say that, Carina adds something. “Right now, and hopefully one day this will change, it’s not exactly socially acceptable, or the norm. Two girls or two guys together. Like I think we would be fine in Seattle as long as we’re not sucking face in public or something. But out in rural America it would be different.”

Maya nods. She knows that. “What’s it like in Italy? As far as…”

Carina hums. “Worse than here in most cases I think. The pope lives in Rome. I think when they modernized the church that’s when the people sort of vilified same sex relationships. But also folks in Italia are very stuck in their ways in a lot of regions. I can’t say for certain for certain cuz I’m not there enough but those are the feelings I get from what I’ve seen.”

“Doesn’t he live at the Vatican in Vatican City?” Maya wrinkles up her nose.

Carina laughs at that being the thing that Maya questions. “Yes. Technically.” She kisses that wrinkly nose.

“But, that being said. I don’t think that should be a deterrent. I think we just have to be careful.”

“I agree.” Maya isn’t sure she knows all the answers, or who she is as a person yet, but she knows that she likes both guys and girls. She wonders if she would have the same trepidation towards sex if she were with a guy right now. If all the other circumstances were the same, if all the uncertainty was the same. Maya thinks that probably would be the case. But if she were with a guy in the same why that she is with Carina right now they definitely wouldn’t be talking about same sex relationships and how to navigate them in public spaces in their current time versus the past or perhaps the future.

Carina smiles. “It’s really stupid. Gay shit goes back to ancient Rome and Greece, probably farther. I’m not sure. It’s something I’d like to learn more about though.”

Maya smiles at that. She loves Carina’s eagerness to learn. It’s like she’s always learning new things, no matter what it is, to expand her world, her universe. And that eagerness is contagious. Maya finds herself wanting to learn about all sorts of things that she hasn’t experienced before. To learn about subject matter that she hasn’t been taught in school. To open up her mind to the possibilities.

There’s one thing she knows for certain though. “I think the only person I don’t want to know is my dad. I’m fairly certain he won’t be the most accepting.”

Carina gathers Maya up in her arms. “I’m sorry, bambina.” She wishes Lane wasn’t such a jerk on so many levels.

“It’s the first summer in four years that I don’t have a ton of competitions since it’s between high school and college. I was looking forward to a fairly open summer. I don’t want it to be like you and Arizona. I don’t want us to be a secret. We already aren’t. Travis and Vic know. Did you tell anyone else?”

Carina smirks at that. Happy that Maya has plans for them. It makes her feel like Maya is just as into her as she is into Maya. Like if there is nothing keeping Maya from hanging out or nothing holding her back, she would for sure be spending all her time with Carina.

“No, but I think Andrea knows.”

Maya nods. She can see that too. “You think he’s going to say anything?”

Carina walks her fingers up Maya’s side, from her hip to the underside of her breast, before laying her hand there against Maya’s ribcage. “I don’t. I should, maybe, ask him how he feels about it though.”

“What about your dad?” Maya wonders.

“I don’t know what he thinks. It’s always so hard to read him. One moment he could be happy with me, the next he could be yelling at me about something I forget to do like change the laundry from the washer to the dryer. I don’t know if he even thinks about the possibilities of me dating. Sometimes it’s like I’m still a little girl to him. Like, he can get stuck in that time in the past, so I don’t know.” She tries to explain her father to Maya as lightly as she can. His mood swings can be so harsh sometimes.

Maya hasn’t thought too much about it but wonders if Carina has a complicated relationship with her father. He doesn’t seem cruel or evil or like a jerk to her though, so she’s not sure. “Do you think he would be one to kick you out of the house or disown you or something?”

Carina searches Maya’s face, looking for what Maya isn’t saying but all she sees is pure curiosity. “No. Yours?” She’s pretty sure she knows what Lane would do.

“Yeah.” Maya closes her eyes.

The brunette sighs and rolls on top of Maya, pressing one kiss to her cheek before looking over at the clock on the nightstand. She peppers Maya’s face in kisses and then gets up. “I’m going to change.” She pulls on the bikini string around her ribs, loosening it. She watches as Maya eyes her curiously. Neither of them say anything as Carina moves across the room, her bikini top hanging loosely, hardly covering anything.

Maya pushes herself up onto her elbows and watches Carina slide across the room, the only thing her bikini top really covering is a front view of her chest. There’s plenty of side boob that Maya lays her eyes on. She has to bite her lip as Carina unties the top string and the top falls to the floor.

She’s facing away from Maya but looks back over her shoulder to smirk at the blonde. Her eyes finding Maya, finding Maya looking at her in a way Carina hasn’t seen before. She sees a certain hunger and desire in those blue eyes. Carina goes to her dresser and pulls out some clothes, her back to Maya the entire time. She pulls a t-shirt over her head and then shimmies out of her shorts. The only thing left to do is remove her bikini bottoms. She knows her shirt isn’t going to cover her entire ass. She looks back to Maya on the bed again. “You sure you can handle this, bella?” She watches Maya open her mouth as if she’s in slow motion. Maya licks her lips and then nods. Carina chuckles and then pulls down her bottoms and then pulling on a pair of underwear quickly before turning around and sauntering back to the bed, pressing a knee into the mattress, taking in the awe on Maya’s face.

“I left some clothes on top of the dresser, if you want to change.”

Carina moves over to sit in the chair at her desk as Maya changes. Maya puts on the tank top that Carina provided first, then she removes her shorts and then comes the swimsuit bottoms, which stick to her as she goes to pull them down. She wonders if this was an issue for Carina. She’s not going to voice that though. “I’m going to use the bathroom, wash my face, get a glass of water.”

“Okay.” Carina turns her computer on and starts messing with the ball in the mouse.

Maya comes back to Carina’s room a few minutes later. “I still can’t believe you have your own computer in your room.”

“Andrea wanted a tv in his room so he could play video games and I wanted a computer in mine. And we got papa to agree as long as we didn’t use them for evil.” Carina grins. “Come.” She pats at her legs.

“Oh, uh, I don’t know.”

“You’re gonna get all shy on me now?” Carina teases. “Come sit with me.”

Maya rolls her eyes, blushing a little. “Our computer is in the living room, in the open, where everyone can see it.”

“I know. I saw it.” Carina presses her lips to Maya’s shoulder as she clicks through a few things on the computer. “Are you on MySpace?” Carina tucks some of Maya’s hair behind her ear, moving it out of her way as she waits for the website to load.

“I am but I hardly ever go on.”

“How ‘bout now? Will you be in my top 8?” Carina grins at the thought as she runs her left hand across Maya’s stomach.

“Sure.” Maya thinks it’s a little silly but of course she’ll be in Carina’s top eight friends.

“Aren’t you going to ask me?”

Maya rolls her eyes then turn she head to look at Carina. “Carina DeLuca, will you be in my top 8?”

“Of course, bambina.” She gives Maya a kiss.

Maya turns back to the computer screen and sees the time. “It’s almost three. In the morning.”

Carina hums. “We should have gone to sleep a long time ago.” She squeezes Maya’s waist.

“Oh my god.”

“Please don’t tell me you need to go for a run in like three hours.”

Maya groans. “Could you imagine? I should but I don’t think I’m going to. You can’t keep me up all night like this.”

“ME? You’re just as much at fault. It takes two to tango, missy.” She presses a series of kisses across Maya’s bare shoulder.

“Fine. After this we are going to sleep.” Maya declares.

They go to bed after another twenty minutes. Like, in bed, under the blankets but not so much sleeping. There’s plenty more kisses. Carina’s lips run a circuit. From Maya’s lips to her cheek, to her neck, to her collarbone and back.

Maya’s hands explore tan skin. Starting up under the back of Carina’s shirt, coming around to her sides, eventually moving to her chest. Groping, squeezing at perky breasts, thumbs stroking over protruding nipples.

After a recent circuit, Carina lays on head on Maya’s shoulder. “How many times I’m I going to have you in my bed before I actually get to sleep with you?”

Maya chuckles. “Soon.” She whispers. She can feel it.

“Like before your birthday? Before I go to Italy?”

“Maybe.” She turns her head, smiling. It’s dark now, the light out, but Maya can see the soft smile on Carina’s lips.

They just stare at each other for a few minutes. Different possibilities and scenarios running through each of their heads. “Speaking of, I’m completely soaked.” Carina slips her legs on either side of Maya’s left leg, pressing her soaked underwear to Maya’s thigh.

“Oh.” Her voice more strangled than Maya would like.

Carina sits up. “I’m going to go jerk off and then I’ll be back.” Carina jokes.

Maya’s eyes nearly bulge out of her head.

Carina laughs. “I just wanted to see your reaction. I’m not really. I’ll going to go freshen up though and get some water. You make me thirsty.” She winks.

“Me too.” Maya squeaks as she sits up.

Carina laughs some more. “You’re so adorable with your shyness.”

Maya looks away. “Whatever.”

Carina gets out of bed and holds her hand out to Maya. Maya takes it and lets Carina help her from bed. They walk to the bathroom together. “You go first. I’m going to go downstairs. Make sure all the lights are off. Get some water. Check for the boogieman and any monsters.” Carina grins and bites her lip.

Maya rolls her eyes. She reaches up and puts her hand on Carina’s cheek. “You are very charming, very generous, and very very brave to check for monsters and protect me.” She leans in for a quick kiss. She pats Carina’s cheek and turns to go into the bathroom.

Maya closes the door, leaning back against it with a long sigh. She’s a whirlwind of emotions. Maya feels calm. Carina brings that calmness to her. But at the same time, her heart beats faster in her chest, the blood pumps through her veins, and she’s filled with excitement. There’s an anxiousness there too that Maya feels. Not necessarily a bad anxious but just anxious about navigating uncharted territory sort of anxious. But overall, on top of everything, Maya is happy.