17. Chapter 17

As the party winds down, after it’s gotten dark outside, Carina is sitting sideways in Maya’s lap in a lawn chair. Maya squirmed about it at first, but then Carina smiled at her and started playing with the little hairs on the back of Maya’s neck and that argument was over.

Vincenzo comes over with two glasses of wine. “Ladies.” He holds out a glass to each of them.

“Thanks.” Carina reaches out and takes a glass from him easily.

Maya is more tentative. An adult has never offered her wine or alcohol before. She reaches out with a tight-lipped smile and takes the glass.

Vincenzo walks away from the pair.

“Cheers.” Carina raises her glass, clinking it with Maya’s. She then brings the glass to her lips, taking a healthy drink.

Maya brings the red wine to her lips and takes a sip, tasting it, trying to get a sense of what she is tasting.

“Thoughts?” Carina asks.

“It’s different than I thought it would be.”

Carina chuckles. “Is that the first wine you’ve ever had?”

“Yeah.” Maya takes another sip.

“It’s a little drier than I like but a very good wine.” Carina swirls hers around in the glass before taking another drink.

“I’ll take your word for it.” Maya smiles and takes another sip, still trying to wrap her tastebuds around it.

Music still plays in the background, quieter now than before, now that most people have gone. Vincenzo and his hospital colleagues have gone into the house to talk and drink wine inside.

Andrew is sitting with Addison and Jo Wilson and Dean Miller as they play a card game on the other side of the yard, deciding they needed more excitement than just casual conversation.

As soon as Carina finishes her glass of wine she gets up and holds her hand out to Maya. Maya looks up and finds Carina’s eyes, raising an eyebrow questioning what Carina is doing.

“Will you dance with me, Maya Bishop?”

Maya looks away, looks down at the half full glass of wine still in her hand.

“Please?” Carina whispers.

Without much thought, Maya’s been thinking too much the last few hours, she throws back the rest of the wine in one gulp. Carina laughs. Maya sets the wine glass in the grass and sets her hand in Carina’s. Carina pulls Maya to her feet and into a sort of embrace/dance pose with Maya’s arms going up around Carina’s neck and Carina’s hands on Maya’s hips. They start shuffling around to the background music.

It's more of an upbeat song then a slow dance song but it doesn’t seem to matter.

“You’ve been quiet since I told you about Italy.” Carina whispers in Maya’s ear.

“I’ve just been thinking about it.” That and the fact that Carina’s dad said that Carina is going to Portland.

Carina hums. “I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

Maybe it’s the wine they had, but Maya kisses Carina to get her to stop talking about it. Maya doesn’t want to talk about it right now. She doesn’t even know how she feels fully about it so she can’t talk about it yet.

Carina is a little surprised. They aren’t exactly alone.

The kiss ends short when Maya pulls back and looks around, suddenly remembering where she is. The card game at the other end of the yard continues uninterrupted though. Maya smiles slowly, it turns into a smirk. Emboldened, she pulls Carina back in for another kiss. This one deeper with more heat to it. Maya can taste the wine on Carina’s lips this time as she licks against them.

Carina can’t keep her hands in one spot anymore. Her right hand comes around to the front of Maya’s pants, rubbing over her. It pulls a little moan from Maya and Carina tucks her fingers into the top of Maya’s pants as she kisses her. She whispers against Maya lips. “Let’s go somewhere a bit more private.”

She leads them to the door to the laundry room on the side of the house. They go inside that way, so they don’t have to go past the card game or Carina’s father. It’s up the stairs and into Carina’s bedroom after that.

Maya sits down on the bed and Carina nods for her to sit against the headboard, which is does without further instruction. Carina comes over and sits at Maya’s hip, reaching up, slipping her hand around the back of Maya’s head, pulling her into another deep kiss.

Carina gets lost in their kisses. She tucks her right leg underneath herself, into the sheets and mattress, practically facing Maya, except that she’s sitting next to her on the bed.

Carina’s hand squeezing gently at her hip gets Maya thinking again. She was so lost in their kisses for a little bit that all other brain function stopped. “Stop.” Maya pushes against Carina’s shoulder, trying to push Carina away from her. She turns her head to the side so Carina can’t kiss anymore. Carina’s lips move to her cheek and then press against Maya neck, which makes her squirm and shift her legs a little. “Stop.”

“What?” Carina asks.

Maya pulls her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. “I don’t want to get in trouble.”

“For what?” Carina asks.

“You and me. Together.” Maya motions between the two of them. “Mr. Fischer-“

Carina tilts her head to the side. “This is different.”

“How?” Maya wants to know. “How is this different? I want to know because the law says that sex with a minor is illegal.”

Her brows wrinkle together. “We’re virtually the same age.” Carina didn’t know this was going to be an issue. She never even thought about it. “And we haven’t had sex yet.” She raises an eyebrow.

“No.” Maya shakes her head and moves away from Carina. “The rules are that it’s illegal.”

Part of Carina is in disbelief. She can’t believe that Maya is questioning this right now. She opens her mouth to say something, but Maya cuts her off.

“You’re being a hypocrite.”

That’s not something anyone has ever accused Carina of being. And it stings a little. And Carina wants to shout back that Maya is stupid for always following all the rules.

“If we got in trouble. Would you blame me?” Maya questions her. She knows it’s not the same as what happened with the band teacher but how different is it really? Legally, it’s not. Maya hasn’t ever heard of any young people being arrested or charged for such a crime; but before last week she hadn’t really heard of a case at all that involved sex with a minor.

Carina thinks about it. She doesn’t think they would get it trouble but what if they did. Would she blame Maya for self-preservation proposes? Would she go and say they were both equally to blame? Or would she take ownership and responsibility for everything?

“No.” Carina licks her lips. “I wouldn’t blame you.”

Maya hums. She wanted Carina to say she would take the blame wholly, which, maybe isn’t fair, but she doesn’t know how else to think about it. It’s confusing. She pushes herself over to the other side of the bed, away from Carina. She gets off the bed, preparing to leave.

“Stay over tonight?” Carina asks, she hears how desperate she sounds right now. She’s completely shaken by this turn of events and doesn’t know what else to do. It’s such an unfamiliar feeling.

“I don’t know, Carina.” Maya shakes her head. Today was supposed to be a good day. And most of it was. But then Carina informed her that she would be gone for a month this summer. She felt blindsided at first. And then she found out that Carina is going to Portland for college. It’s probably the naïve part of Maya that thought they would go to the same school, that they would both stay in Seattle. And then she’s been thinking about this whole sex thing, and how it compares to Mr. Fischer, and it’s got her feeling uneasy about everything.

Maya takes a step towards the bedroom door. “I can ask your dad to give me a ride home.”

Carina wrinkles up her face, realizing that Maya doesn’t want Carina to take her home. Carina doesn’t want Maya to leave at all. And if she has to, she wants to be the one to drive Maya home. She’s not sure what she did wrong, but she feels Maya pulling away, putting distance between them.

“I’ll see you next weekend at Addison’s party.” Maya says, ducking her head, unable to look at Carina anymore.

“What?” Carina’s head spins. Maya doesn’t want to see her for an entire week. “What about Travis’ party tomorrow?”

Maya smiles, to herself, tight-lipped. “I don’t know. Maybe you should go alone. You are his girlfriend after all.” She says it because she’s hurt and confused, and she knows it will hurt Carina to hear. She opens the door, part of her wants Carina to stop her. But she opens the door and steps out into the hallway and Carina doesn’t say anything.

She closes the door and wonders where Mr. DeLuca is and how she’s going to ask him to give her a ride home. Maya hasn’t so much as had a conversation with the man, so she stands there for a minute to work up the courage to find him and ask him.

She’s about ready and decides to check his bedroom first. Maya knows he’s down the hall from Carina on the opposite side of the hallway. Or maybe he’s still downstairs.

Maya turns in that direction, taking a step. But then she hears a couple small noises coming from Carina’s room, and then a loud thud. She looks over her shoulder, back at Carina’s bedroom door. She hears a string of what she thinks are curse words in Italian, followed by groaning. Maya grimaces and heads back. She pushes the door open and sees Carina laying on the floor on her side, holding onto the bottom half of her leg.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

Carina registers Maya’s voice and looks up. She’s in agony. Carina went to get out of bed, to chase after Maya, to prevent her from leaving without at least saying something. But her foot got caught in the sheets and Carina’s momentum was projecting her forward, resulting in her trying to catch herself on the nightstand. When all that did was knock off a glass and a book, her hand slipping, her foot still caught, her shin colliding with the corner of the nightstand as she fell.

“Yes.” Carina shakes her head. “No.” She clenches her teeth together, closing her eyes against the pain.

Maya comes over, kneeling on the floor next to Carina. “What hurts?”

“My shin. I bashed it on the nightstand.” She removes her hands so Maya can see.

Maya inspects the leg. “There’s a little cut. Not much blood. It’s really red and starting to bruise.” She reaches out. “May I?” Carina nods and Maya presses her fingers against the leg, careful not to touch the cut. “Yeah, there’s a definite bump.”

Carina groans as Maya presses against the skin. “Ohhh, it hurts.”

To Carina’s surprise, and maybe Maya’s as well, Maya leans down and presses a gentle kiss next to the forming bump and bruise. Maya looks up to see Carina staring at her. “What?” She says bashfully.

“I thought you were on your way out the door.”  Carina says quietly. “That you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

Maya shakes her head. “Carina, I- that’s not it. I just- everything I found out today was a lot.”

“Then talk to me about it.” Carina pleads.

Maya sighs. “You didn’t tell me you were going to Italy. Or that you were going to college in Portland.”

Carina drops the side of the head against the floor, guilty. “The only reason I didn’t was because I didn’t know how you were going to react. Like, I think I was afraid it would be negatively. And then some time passed, and I don’t think I wanted to think about that. I didn’t want it to, like, come between us or something.” She flops onto her back, her head on the floor, letting go of her leg. The pain a dull throb now. “I’m sorry.” Carina says pathetically.

Maya inhales deeply. “What does it mean?”

“What?” Carina scrunches up her face.

Maya reaches out, slipping her palm around the back of Carina’s leg, placing it on her calf, her thumb stroking next to the wound. “You- going to Italy?” She sighs and says what popped into her head earlier when she found out about Italy and then Portland. “Are you going to go to Italy and then come back and then head off to school?”

Maya had thought that they were going to get the opportunity to spend most of the summer together. Now that she’s finding out that isn’t the case, she’s a little panicked and defensive about it. It’s not that she’s been lied to, but it sort of feels like she’s been lied to.

“There will be like four weeks from when I return until when I leave for school.” Carina frowns. She knows it’s not ideal. She hadn’t really planned anything out. She’s not even sure what Maya wants to do. They aren’t really dating, or a couple; at least no label has officially been put on whatever they are. “I know it’s probably not what you want to hear. But moving forward we are both going to having things going on. Individually. I don’t know what to say, really.”

“But you’ve always got some sort of plan.” Maya wonders what it all means. Was she too naïve to think that Carina would stick around all summer for her? The girl clearly has other things that need to happen in her life. Maya’s summer was mostly going to consist of training and, she thought, hanging out with Carina.

“We can do stuff before I go to Italy. That’s over a month from now. I will be gone most of July. And then there’s most of August before I have to be in Portland.” Carina bites her lip and raises an eyebrow, formulating a plan on the fly.

“Okay.” Maya gives a tight-lipped smile. She’s not sure if she likes that answer but doesn’t know what to say about it.

Carina reaches out, putting her hand on the back of Maya’s arm that is holding her leg. “We can talk about this more. Are you okay?”

Maya shakes her head. “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get your leg cleaned up.” She goes to stand, holding out a hand, helping Carina to her feet.

“Does that mean you’ll stay the night?” Carina gives her a hopeful little smile.

Maya rolls her eyes. “I’ll have to call home.”

Carina does a little fist pump. “Yes.”

“But no hanky panky.” Maya points a finger at Carina in warning. “I still don’t know how if feel about the whole-“ She turns around, not finishing the sentence.

Carina nods. She might need to rethink her stance on them going any further than making out anytime soon.

“Hands above the waist stuff only.” Maya throws out.

Carina has never had conditions before. “Says the girl who was just caressing my leg.”

“Shut up.” Maya mumbles and tugs on Carina’s hand so they can get her leg cut cleaned up and put a band aid on it before bed.

They get back from the bathroom and cleaning the cut. “Do you have pajamas I can borrow?” Maya asks, feeling exhausted now.

“You could always sleep naked?” Carina grins. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Stop it.”

Carina hobbles over to the dresser and pulls out some clothes for herself and Maya. “Here.” She holds out a t-shirt and shorts for Maya.

“Thanks.” Maya heads back to the bathroom to change.

Carina changes and gets into bed. It might be totally weird or nerve wracking to be like this with someone. Just laying in bed and waiting for them to come to bed but Carina feels at complete peace with it. She enjoys getting to just sleep and lay with Maya as much as she does getting to make out with her and getting all excited and worked up.

Now though, she might have to take a step back on the last one.

Maya comes back and slips into the other side of the bed. “What are you thinking about?” She can see the thoughtful look on Carina’s face.

“You.” Carina smiles, sly.

Maya shakes her head. “No, seriously.” She doesn’t believe that Carina was thinking about her. There’s so many other things Carina could be thinking about. Just graduating, what sort of things she’s going to do in Italy this summer. All the people and relatives she’s going to see. She could be thinking about Portland and her dorm roommate and what clubs she’s going to join and what classes she’s going to take. There are so many other things Carina could be thinking about. Those are just the things Maya is thinking about Carina doing.

“I am serious.” Carina turns onto her side. “I need you to promise to not kick me in the shin tonight.” She wraps her arm over Maya’s waist, leaning into her a little.

Maya smiles at that. “I’ll try not to.”

“But more seriously-“ She looks up and tries to find Maya’s eyes. She feels like she hasn’t seen enough of them today. “Do you not want to have sex with me?” Carina is starting to get the feeling that Maya might be trying to avoid it.

Maya sighs. “I thought you weren’t going to pressure me.”

“I’m not. I just need to know.” Carina shrugs.

“Why? If I say no, are you going to put an end to this?” Maya points between herself and Carina. She only realizes now that that is a fear of hers.

“No.” Carina shakes her head. “Maya, I need to know what you want. What do you want? Do you want to wait? Do you want to wait until you are eighteen? What do you want?”

Maya covers her face with her hands. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.” She shakes head as the tears start falling.

“Hey.” Carina scoots up in bed and wraps her arm around Maya higher up, around her arms, turning her and pulling her onto her side. “Hey. Hey.” She hugs Maya to her chest. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.” Maya shakes her head and pushes against Carina, separating them. “I’m all over the place. I can feel it. I don’t want to jerk you around. Maybe we shouldn’t even be doing this. We are going to separate schools in the fall. What does it even matter anymore?”

There it is.

Carina takes a deep breath. “It matters because you matter to me. You matter. The thing that we have matters to me. So what? We go to separate schools. You don’t stop being friends with someone because they move houses or because they get a different job or move a few hours away.”

“Some people do.” Maya cries.

“You’re so dramatic.” Carina teases and pets a hand through Maya’s hair. “Maya, you’ve got me however you want me.” She offers. “I will be very very disappointed if that’s not at all, but I’m not going to tell you what to do or pressure you into anything. And if you don’t want to have sex, then fine. I still want to be your friend.” Carina is super sad about that because she was really looking forward to getting to know Maya in that way.

Maya takes a few minutes to collect herself, and Carina let’s her, just sitting there with her hand on Maya’s arm gently.

“Can we wait?”

Carina hums, getting Maya to explain further.

“Until I’m eighteen.”

Carina nods. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

“It would be one hell of a birthday present.” Carina just can’t help herself. She’s thinking about it already. What she can plan? How the night is going to play out? Should it be romantic or sweet or just a fun sort of night?

Maya pushes Carina onto her back, while Carina is thinking about the possibilities, leaning over the top of her. “Well, hello.” Carina grins.

“Thank you for putting up with my crazy.” Maya whispers. She knows this probably isn’t what Carina wants. Carina is more experienced than she is, Maya knows that. And maybe that’s part of it. She’s intimidated by that. It’s not just sex stuff, it seems like Carina has more experience with everything and Maya knows that’s because of her upbringing and being Italian and spending summers in Italy. It’s because her father is a doctor, and because he gives Carina all this freedom. Maya’s days have been scheduled and planned out by her father for the last six years, it doesn’t leave much room for experiences.

Carina tucks hair behind Maya’s ear. “You’re not crazy. Just a normal teenager, with emotions that might be a little all over the place, like lots of other teenagers.”

“You don’t seem to have crazy emotions.” Maya lays her head against Carina’s shoulder. Carina always seems so stable and solid to her.

“Au contraire.” Carina chuckles. “Would you like me to tell you how I felt when you told me we couldn’t be friends and you didn’t want to have anything to do with me?”

“Wha-“ Maya pushes herself up onto her elbow.

“I was devastated. I didn’t know what to do. I liked you so much and I just wanted to be your friend. I wanted you to like me. I wanted all these things and you just turned me down, said no. I didn’t know I could feel that bad. I moped around. Laid in this bed, staring up at the ceiling thinking about you. Cuz even if I was mad at you or you turned me down, I still couldn’t stop thinking about you. I felt crazy some of the time. It seemed stupid and crazy. So yeah. I have had crazy emotions.”

Maya settles at Carina’s side again, head back on her shoulder. “I’m sorry I put you through all that.”

“What did I say about apologizing?” Carina smirks and presses a kiss to the top of Maya’s head.

“I know but I feel like that deserves any apology.” Maya starts thinking about the morning, tomorrow. “And I’m sorry for what I said about Travis and his party. I know it’s a set up. I just- I think I’m a little jealous about it.”

“Why? If you know it’s a set up.” Carina runs her fingers through Maya’s hair.

“Cuz you’ll get to be his girlfriend. Out in the open. In front of everybody.” Maya explains.

“And we can’t do that.” Carina hums knowingly.

“Yeah.”

“Maya, do you want to be my girlfriend?” Carina tries to sound as casual as she can about it, but on the inside the question makes her all sorts of anxious. Maya has turned her down before; what if she does it again now?

“Do I want to be? Or will I be?” Maya asks back.

“Both?” Carina asks hopefully.

“Do I want to be?” Maya pauses to think about it. “If I’m jealous, I think that means I want to be. Will I be?” She lifts her head and finds Carina looking down at her expectantly. “If you don’t go to Italy this summer and find a boyfriend or girlfriend.”

Carina raises an eyebrow at Maya’s sass. “Well, if I have a girlfriend here, I won’t need to find one in Italy.”

“Alright, I guess.” Maya grins.

Carina matches Maya’s grin with one of her own. “Can I kiss you?”

Maya leans up on her elbow again. “As long as it’s above the waist, remember?”

Carina laughs. “I was thinking-“ She licks her lips. “-On the lips, but are you giving me permission to kiss elsewhere?”

Maya takes Carina’s face in her hands. “Come here you big weirdo.” She connects their lips in a quick kiss.

There is a knock on the door. Carina wraps her arm around Maya, keeping her tight to her side. “Yes.”

“Carina, are you and Maya in there?” Vincenzo asks through the door, not even opening it.

“Si, papa.”

“Va bene. All your other friends left, and I just shooed away my doctor friends. I’m going to bed. And Andrea is in his room.”

“Okay. Grazie. Buona notte.”

He doesn’t say anything back, but they listen as his footsteps disappear down the hall. Carina looks to Maya. Maya is staring off to the side, fearful that Mr. DeLuca was going to come into the room. She waits until Maya looks to her before smiling. They then fall into a fit of giggles together.

Carina rolls over and gets to her knees. She reaches for Maya’s side, tickling her.

“Stop.” Maya wiggles about. “That tickles.”

Carina laughs. “That’s the point.”

Maya squirms about in the bed, laughing as Carina’s hands attack her sides. She uses her core strength though to sit up through the attack and wrap her arms around Carina, pulling her back down to the mattress with her. She expects their laughter to continue as they are wrapped up together but Carina sucks in a quick, staccato breath.

“What?” She releases Carina from her grip.

Carina reaches down and holds at her shin. “I hit my shin.”

“Okay, no more roughhousing. I could say that’s what you get for tickling me, but I won’t.”

Carina chuckles. “You literally just did.”

Maya shrugs. “Want me to kiss it again? Make it all better.” She sits up, ready to do just that. Maya peels back the blanket and sheet and finds Carina’s leg. The band-aid covers the little cut but around that is a large red-purple bump. “We should have put ice on this?”

“It’ll be fine.” Carina tries not to make a big deal of it even though it hurts a lot.

“Now you sound like me.” Maya teases. She runs her hand over Carina’s knee, down towards the band-aid, stopping just before it. She bends, pressing her lips gently to the band-aid. “There. All better.” She looks up and smiles over at Carina.

Carina holds up her arm, a signal for Maya to come back to her. Which Maya does. She lays down on her side, facing Carina, snuggling up against her body. Carina wraps an arm around Maya. “It feels so much better. Your kisses are magic.” Carina grins, she gets a little flutter in her chest every time they kiss. Even a little excitement at Maya kissing her shin.

Maya smiles bashfully, tucking her head under Carina’s chin.

“Are you tired?” Carina whispers.

Maya untucks herself, looking into Carina’s eyes. “I was earlier. When we first came up here.”

“And now?” Carina smirks a little, thinking she knows the answer.

Maya shrugs a bit. “I don’t think I could fall asleep if I tried.”

“Should we tell ghost stories?”

Maya giggles. “What? No.”

“Then what do you want to talk about? Oh, I know. Do you have any weird body parts?” Carina asks excited about the answer, if for nothing more than medical purposes. And, also, curiosity.

“Like what?”

Carina pulls her lips to one side. “A third nipple.”

“Is that a thing?”

“Very much so.” Carina nods. “Some people have an extra finger or toe. Webbed fingers or toes. Extra internal organs. That sort of thing.”

“Well, I don’t have any of that. At least, not that I know. There could be something on the inside, I suppose.”

“You don’t have any secrets that make you run super fast?” Carina rubs her nose against Maya’s.

“Nope.” Maya pops the p in the word. “Just lots of training and practice.” Sometimes she wishes she had some sort of secret to make her run fast. Then Maya wouldn’t have to bust her rump so much with training.

“I bet it’s just natural talent. I know I couldn’t run like that all the time. You have to have some sort of knack for that sort of thing.” Carina walks her fingers up and down Maya’s arm. “You’re just being modest in saying that it’s all in the training.”

Maya rolls her eyes. “I’ve literally been training like every day for six years. We’ll have to disagree.”

Carina hums. “What do you want to do tomorrow? I have to be at Travis’ at eleven, I think.”

“That’s going to be pure torture.” Maya rolls onto her back.

Carina chuckles. “It could be fun.” She bites at her lip.

“Not for me.” Maya groans and rolls onto her opposite side.

“Oh, bella.” Carina rolls after her, fitting herself against Maya’s back. She moans, feeling herself pressed up against Maya like this. “Let me turn off the light.” She reaches up and over Maya, pressing further against her to reach for the lamp on the nightstand.

“You’re squishing me.” Maya whines.

Carina gets the light and leans back, pressing a kiss against Maya’s cheek in the process. “Sorry.” She whispers. “What now?” Carina resumes her position behind Maya, spooning her.

Maya thinks about it. She goes for one of her insecurities. Maybe if they talk about it, it wouldn’t be so bad. “Tell me about Italy.”

Carina spends the next forty-five minutes going into all the things she loves about Italy. All the places, the people, the scenery. The sun. Her relatives on both sides of her family. The beaches and, of course, the best food in the world.

The conversation dies down, sleepiness taking over. Maya likes the feeling of Carina being curled around her from behind. Carina’s arm is wrapped around her, hand tucked up against Maya’s chest, palm open.

“You’re holding onto my boob.” Maya comments into the dark. She knows Carina is still awake yet.

“Yes, but not in a sexual way.”

Maya laughs. “What other way is there?”

“This way.” Carina wiggles her hip against Maya’s backside. “Shhh, it’s time for sleep.”

Maya chuckles, breathy, and puts her hand over Carina’s on her boob. “Goodnight, Carina.”

There is a press of lips against the back of Maya’s neck. “Goodnight, bellisima.”