Chapter 3 - I can't afford to change

The teacher pointed me to a bench behind the classroom.

Perfect !

It's in the back row and by the window ...

Maybe God loves me after all.

I took my first steps and headed for my bench when ...

-Sorry, but you didn't finish the presentation.

What? How not to?

I thought I was done.

How can they know better than me when I say everything about me?

What a pain !

What else should I say?

But suddenly the whole class seemed excited. As if this information was very important ...

What the hell do they want to know about me?

-Tell me your favorite novel from Kyoko's collection!

What the ?!

What the hell did he say?

Why would he ask that?

-You see, our whole class is Kyoko's fan, said the teacher, not just our class, but the whole high school except for a few...

- If you want to be part of our class, first say your favorite book.

- It shouldn't be hard, since you said you love to read.

- There is no man or woman , who has not read at least one of her works.

- So ... say.

What about this situation.

I knew Kyoko was famous, but I didn't think I had crazy fans.

This is bad ...

What is my favorite book ?!

I wrote them all .... I like them all! What should I say?

-I ... I like it the most .... 'Alone in the world'.

Yes .

If I had to choose ... this is my favorite.

It is also the first written by me, at the age of 10.

- Pfff.

Everyone laughed.

Why ? Did I say something funny?

-That's a depressing book! But it suits you!

What the ? Depressing book ?!

It is a book that presents the life of a boy, who has the same events as me, but in the end he finds happiness with his future wife.

My face escaped a little anger and hatred, but I recovered immediately. I looked around to see if anyone noticed my escape ... but there was no one looking at me so I breathed a sigh of relief.

Everyone was talking to each other about THEIR favorite book.

What crap!

After talking about my favorite book, I finally got to my place, but ...

- Good. New girl. Give your opinion.

What's up now?

This class is too social!

I'd rather go back to the old high school ... If I stay here I'll get sick . I've already talked too many times...

He hardly spoke at old school. Only when he answered. He had no one to talk to at home. She write on the internet ... so it was annoying for her to talk a lot ...

-You have your opinion about Kyoko! Who do you think he is?

I froze .

What the hell is wrong with this life?

Now I'm sure fate is laughing at me and this unimaginable situation.

- What do you mean? I say.

And for the first time the anxiety crept into my face, although it was not visible, there was a possibility that someone would notice it.

- What kind of girl do you think she is?

- I ...

- Don't ask her. I bet he'll describe a boring person.

The girl who spoke was Nami, the same one who grabbed me by the shoulders this morning.

-She's definitely a cop!

She said.

-Who investigates crimes, and secretly writes stories. And I bet she's very beautiful and intelligent ...

Her eyes widened in admiration and now she was in her frenzy.

- No way ! She is a volleyball player or does a sport. Haven't you seen how well he describes the fight scenes? She is definitely very athletic.

Yes, how not?

I wouldn't set foot in a gym room. But it is true that she is athletic. I'm not bragging, but I'd beat a guy with a black belt ...

- No way! She is 100% fashion designer. Didn't you read the details of the clothes that describe them? All a hundred luxuries.

I started to get a little irritated ... why he judges me after writing?

If I were to write about missiles, will they think I'm an astronaut?

- So?

-What ?

- What personality do you think he has?

Can't I get rid of this annoying situation?

Well, why don't I tell them a little too?

Then they will leave me alone. I will tell them my honest opinion because it is complicated to lie. As long as it's simple, it's okay ...

-I think she's a coward.

- Why do you think this ?

- Because she writes her perspective on the world, highlighting people's flaws, but she can't tell the culprit what she thinks , so she writes to get rid of guilt ...

-That's a negative outlook.

Of course it is.

But it is the pure truth.

I'm a coward.

I'm afraid that if I complicate things by trying to make them simple I will end up suffering .... so better current with a normal situation than in the future with a life too complicated.

What if I am on the fringes of every social group?

What if I never love in my life?

The world is a cruel place, where if you do not comply with the parameters you are removed.

The more complicated things are, the faster the world will want to get rid of it.

The current situation is not so bad. I have to survive ...

I can't afford to want change ... change is complicated ...

- Boredom. What a boring answer.

Of course he believes ...

No matter what others think ...

I will survive ...

I will lead a simple and peaceful life ... no one will intervene ... for others it would be complicated to make her change, so they will ignore her...

I will definitely be alone ...

This is the simplest