78) In Control
Edward
How Vasili managed to do this every time we had sex was beyond me? The cleaning process was not something I particularly enjoyed. For a minute I thought I had absolutely lost my mind. I was allowing Vasili to do whatever he wanted to me and from the evil smile he wore, I knew I was in for a ride.
I was not lying when I said I had thought about it whilst I was in London. I always thought about it, but it seemed to be on my mind more constantly now. I wanted to know what he felt when he completely gave himself to me. How it would feel to have someone I was so in love with to fully have me.
I would have never had this opportunity with a woman and in a way I was grateful I did not end up with one. There was something so intimate, so sacred about being with a man. It felt a bit forbidden and it just intoxicated the whole experience all together.