Do's and Don'ts on a Date

February. One of the most dreadful months of the year. It's when people were hung up on that love bug that I would gladly crush any time of the year. I could not understand why people spent a lot of money on the expensive and overly sweet embodiment of toothache or on those artificially cultivated flowers that would wither the very next day you bought them. I would rather spend my money on expensive booze and drown myself in them than to eat the most famous and sought-after chocolate brand.

However, it was very unfortunate of me to have friends who do not think the same way as I do. Wish I could unfriend them as quickly as I did on Facebook or any other social media accounts I deleted. Every 14th of February, they dragged me anywhere they wanted and paired me up with a total stranger.

"Why not? It's Valentine's Day after all." They said.

Come on! Who's in their right mind and still got fooled by the lousy excuse that was Valentine's? Did they not know that this stupid celebration was just a scheme started by chocolate manufacturers and publishers of those cringe-worthy cards decorated with roses and hearts to sell more than they usually did? Whatever. I just really could not stomach the idea of celebrating something you did not fully understand. I just could not appreciate Valentine's. That's all.

"Z, don't be such an introverted freak. You have to go out sometimes and feel some love." This petite orange-haired girl who called herself my best friend said. We had been together since day one. We practically grew up together like any normal siblings out there.

"I already said no, didn't I? Why do you still pester me with this matter?"

"You need to go out there. You need a little love." She cooed at me. Using that irritating high pitched voice she had. Well, most women had that kind of voice and it never failed to get under my freaking skin every single time. What's more irritating was that she always said it as she flung herself all over me. She's like a leach that wouldn't let me be alone.

"Whatever. I'm going." Removing her hand on my arm as I shouldered my bag and headed out the door.

Two days later...

Ring... Ring... Ring...

"What the heck? It's only 11 in the morning. Why won't people let me sleep peacefully?" Z thought as he carelessly searched for his phone with his eyes still closed somewhere on the bed.

"What?"

"Goodness, Zoro! Why are you still on your freaking bed?!" Yes. No worries people. I get this kind of morning greeting from her almost every day. You would get used to it over time. Who wouldn't?

"Yes. Good morning, E." I said with a yawn. As I once again laid flat on the warm and inviting bed and put the phone on loudspeaker.

"Don't take me for a fool Z! Damn it! I knew it! You're just getting out of bed! If I didn't wake you up, I'm pretty sure that you will never show up." Nami shouted frustratedly at the end of the other line. I could clearly imagine her pacing endlessly while kicking the hell out of the air around her. Tch. Such childish behavior she had.

"Yeah. I'm taking a shower now, bye." I ended the call before she pestered me again for not waking up early after working til lights out just a few hours ago. I had to stay back to clean the bike shop before locking down or my boss would kill me. And though I said that, I stayed for a good 2 minutes before getting out of bed and heading to the shower.

I took a quick bath and grabbed clothes from its pile at the farthest corner of the room. Each one was crumpled like paper thrown in the bin and had been laying there for quite a while now. I could barely tell which was clean and which one was already worn. I always got an earful from Nami for leaving my clothes, dirty or not, lying on the floor. Honestly, I did not care at all. As long as they're wearable, then I'm good. She was just too fussy about hygiene and all.

.....

"Yeah. I'm here now. No need to check up on me every goddamn minute. I'm hanging up. I can see him now." I say coldly. Not really happy to have this blind date happening on a day off which I should be spending by lazing around and drinking. One had to rest.

I walked over the blond man who was wearing a crisp blue dress shirt. I sat in front of him nonchalantly before folding my hands over the table even before offering a proper greeting. He stared at me with his ocean blue eyes and examined every pore on my face. Well, this was a bit exasperating. I was not a fan of slow and scrutinizing looks from other people, especially from people I did not know that much. I drummed my fingers on the table to get his attention. Which was effective since he looked at me irritably. Ho! Looks like we're on the same boat here. However, somehow, I did not like how he looked at me as if I was an experimental lab rat he had to check out and was not pleased with what he saw. It was a bit degrading. I had my pride, after all.

"Not liking what you see ha." I said before leaning forward. "You can always back down anytime now. I won't mind." It was not like we both want to be in this place together while being surrounded by tons of couples who would soon break up and swear at each other as if they did not spend a dime on the partners they used to have. Tch.

"Not really." Surprisingly, the blond's voice was deep and soothing. It was like listening to an old tape recording. He had a soft baritone that would put a radio jockey in a slump in a matter of second. It was nice to the ears even though his tone was sarcastic and indifferent. Kinda hurt my pride, but I would not give up without a fight. This night won't end nicely for this young lad.

"Man! I'm hungry! I haven't eaten anything at all. Let see what they have here." I stated as I grabbed the menu he was reading before I arrived and scanned the list of food. I spared him a quick glance and was pleased to see that he was not liking the situation.

"What a brute. I cannot believe that I actually fell for this trap." He murmured. And I was sure that it was very much intentional for him to say it loud enough for me to hear. This was getting interesting. Wouldn't it be fun to ruin his day?

He was probably expecting someone who was more sophisticated than me. Just one look at him and you would know how much of a straightlaced person he was, from the way he carried himself to the way he dressed. Everything was very formal, and it only made me want to piss him off to death.

When I ordered food until the food arrived, he never spoke to me again. The only time he spoke was when he called me out for being a nomad or whatever that was he called me. Tch. What was so bad with what I did when the only thing I did was bring the bowl of soup to my mouth and emptied it before burping. Hey. That was human nature. And most of all, I didn't give a shit about those goddamn table manners he probably perfected.

While eating, my phone vibrated. Notifying me that I received a message of some scam notification. I fished my phone out of my pocket with a fork hanging in my mouth while earning a VERY irritated look from the other man.

Unfortunately, I received a very helpful message from Nami about the "Do's and Don'ts on a Date."

1. Dress to impress

Nice. Sure. I was killing that one with a dirty pair of sneakers, faded jeans, and frayed dark green t-shirt, and an old jacket. I even had to talk my way in with the waiter. Nami somehow forgot to tell me that we were dining at a high-class restaurant.

2. Arrive on time

Nailed this one. I was more than an hour late for this appointment.

The list went on and on. It was kind of fun to read it coz the more I read it the more I realized that I was not doing a great job at this. After a while of reading, I felt a painful kick at my shin. I looked up to see a very pissed of blond with a very threatening sneer.

"Oops. I'm sorry. My foot slipped." As if it did! He probably did it intentionally. The adult in me couldn't bear the situation, so I kicked him too.

"Oops. I'm sorry. My foot slipped." I mimicked his line with a little more anger in it. He looked like as if he had some retort to say, but he somehow stopped himself and said, "I don't care if you're such a brute, but can you finish your food first and retrieve your manners as you do so? You probably left it at the hell hole you were living." He said coolly.

What the heck?! Was he asking for a fight? Cause if he was, I would gladly offer it to him on a gold plate. "Oh. Sorry. Did I hurt your nice-Nelly facade?" I responded with an equally irritating sneer.

"No. Actually, I was worried that a brute like you wouldn't actually want to dine at a very sophisticated restaurant like this one." He motioned at the whole establishment with an air of arrogance in it. Sarcastic. "Do you perhaps want to move somewhere else?" I asked.

"Don't sweat it. You probably won't want to live your little bubble and get out of the real world." I retorted as I leaned back on my chair and rested my feet on the table. This action somehow popped the last string of patience he had, as he stood up abruptly and threw my feet off of the table. I lost my balance and almost fell off the chair.

"Mind your manners, you asshole! This is a restaurant, not like any of those shitty pubs you visit." He said through gritted teeth. Oh. That was a good change of character, huh. Interesting.

A smile made its way to the corners of my mouth as I looked at the now very red and angry blond. His composed behavior from earlier was almost gone and was replaced by a very angry one.

"Hey, chill. Why don't you sit first and have some water? You look like you're about to blow up or take a dump. Hahaha!"

THAT made a rise out of him. In a blink of an eye, he was in front of me hissing and snarling, with both of his hands gripping my frayed shirt.

"Is there a problem here, sir?" A waiter nervously asked while the others looked at us warily. The blond let me go roughly and pulled out some bills from his pocket before kicking me AGAIN on the shin. This time it was really intentional and very much powerful than the first one. It would surely bruise if I would not put some ice on it.

While I was on the floor and checking my leg, the blond stormed out of the building leaving me speechless and pissed. I swore I would get my revenge if I saw him again. He better not let me see him a second time around. However, after a second or two the blond went back again only to stuck his tongue out at me and to grin madly.

"See you around, Zoro!"