How could you?

Chapter 27

After tending to Mutaqs wounds the next day, and searching for Zafar the entire night...exhaustion couldn't explain how I felt. I was stuck in a situation that I had no solution to...I could not find him, months went by with my ankle healed just in time for my black belt grading. No contact was made between me and Zafar since that night, I understand that many would see me as a selfish person who never considered his feelings, but only I know the reason behind my behavior.

I wrapped my foot before placing guards on my joints, it was an intense yoga class. I watched Ameera and Yacob practice before the final hour. Our black belt grading was on that day…the day I waited anxiously for, a day that could determine the future of my karate career. I hadn’t spoken to Mutaq since the incident with Zafar even if he buys me breakfast every day and helps me where I can be helped. I do not blame him for what happened between I and Zafar, but, since I knew he acted differently towards me compared to everyone he knew, I decided not to keep him close by.

I went out less, ate less, and was distracted by class most of the time. When I’d get a day off I would either paint or ride my motorcycle around the city on my own.

“ To the main hall, ” the younger sensei called for us.

We marched in an orderly manner lining up in the hall, we were stripped of our brown belt position and forced to start with the mindset of a white belt...a beginners mindset. The first day was mainly teaching and learning, we revised our syllabus and we’re given the rest of the day off for practice. Hell broke loose on the second day with exercises ten times worse than usual. I felt every single muscle in my body ache in pain. Running up and down the mountains as we did our katas, the grading took three days, the skin beneath my feet missing, my knuckles bruised beyond recognition, and a quivering body.

When they announced the result I used the last bits of energy I had to accept my first dan black belt, the happiest moment in my life, for that moment I couldn’t feel the pain in my body. I treated my friends to a meal as we spent the night celebrating at our dorms before hopping into bed until the next day. We had a week for recovery, even if I hardly had time with Ameera I was happy for her.

“ I knew you'd be here,” he said walking into the restaurant.

“ asalamualikum, ” I greet coldly, he replied before sitting across me.

“ How are you feeling today?”

“ I’m okay thank you for asking, you must be good too since you walked all the way here," He smiled before looking up, “ so you do blame me for what happened between you and Zafar.”

“ not exactly, I just don’t know how to feel.”

It was difficult digesting the fact that Zafar felt threatened by Mutaq being insecure about losing me.

“ I guess I did hold you accountable here and there.”

“ I admit that I do like you Nura, but I respect you. We both Muslims…your married I’m arranged, being friends is enough for me.”

“ wait, you like me…”

“ yes, but it not like I'll come in between you and Zafar thats unethical!” he said looking me in the eye.

“ I understand, but I have to let go of you until your feelings for me completely disappear.”

I left limping on my sore leg, I only saw Mutaq as my brother nothing more…Zafar was right about him to an extent

. I had to start another new year on my own, I didn’t even feel this year go by. It was absolutely terrible. I had to right my wrongs.

Getting my back belt was all I ever focused on and extending my karate career. The following week before closing for the festive season sensei announced the team for next year. I watched many people walk out of the dojo, he only owed us a black belt grading and he had delivered that…he wasn’t obligated to give us more. Yacob had to go home, while Ameera stayed Mutaq left the week after our heated conversation…I'm not sure if I’ll ever see him again.

I watched Ameera tear up before biding her man Yacob goodbye, I wonder if that sensei would start courting her next this year, I was given the opportunity to continue my study. A year from now Mutaq will be practicing his profession.

After comforting Ameera I rushed over to the airport to book a flight, I had two options…go home and see my appreciative family or to Cuba to win over Zafar…