A Mortal’s Attack, Start Of A Retaliation

Within Jam's Storage Dimension, a little girl was prancing around with streaks of chaotic black thunder weaving around her. This little girl had deep cyan eyes, with equally mesmerizing blue hair. She was Danger Noodle, who had gained a humanoid form after advancing as a Sage.

With nothing better to do after being seal away in Jam's storage dimension, as her cultivation had crossed over the acceptable boundary for the world laws of Jam's World Formation, she resorted to spending her time away by training with bloodline memories. Danger Noodle had many fancy tricks stored away in her bloodline as inheritances, and just now, she had completed her third type of sub-thunder; Voidspace Thunder.

When reached the Sage level, the cultivation for nine types of thunder were unlocked through her bloodline. She first mastered Darkyin Thunder, as a girl it just seemed like the obvious choice to start with. As a Sage she could progress though the first three levels of cultivating these new sub-thunders quickly, thus after reaching Darkyin Thunder's third stage of completion, she moved on to learning Temporal Lightning.

And now, she finally completed her quick cultivation of Voidspace Thunder. Each level of the thunder coincidentally matched up with her Dao Cultivation of the thunder's subcomponents, so reaching the third level meant she had reached Dao Domain — Voidspace Thunder → Void Dao + Space Dao, Temporal Lightning → Time Dao, Darkyin Thunder → Darkness Dao + Yin Dao...

With her Dao of Space reaching Dao Domain, the same level as Jam, Danger Noodle could at any moment leave his storage dimension on her own free will. She was so happy to make this discovery, that she didn't even scope out the situation ongoing outside — of the storage dimension — or take a look at herself before teleporting right outside.

What did she find? Well, Jam was still lying motionlessly, his face hitting the warm sandy earth. The scientist Jam was talking to was still there next to him, apparently doubting herself as she looked at Danger Noodle who had come from nowhere. And the first thing she heard Jam say after appearing, wasn't a greeting, rather, he yelled "Watch out! There's killing intent aimed at us!"

"Huh? What killing inte..." Right then and there, Danger Noodle felt it; a killing intent so pathetically weak, she was doubting her senses… And from the skies there fell a bomb aimed right at Jam, but it was so slow that Danger Noodle didn't even move to do anything.

She watched, wondering what the metallic blob that fell from the skies hoped to achieve. Within seconds, the bomb went off mere hundreds of meters from the ground. It was then that Danger Noodle realized the lack of energy coming from everything. She had time to process how the air, ground, elements, the world in general, had no spiritual energy. The bomb exploded and seemed to stop in time as Danger Noodle captured it within her Time Dao Domain.

"How… sad." Danger Noodle said, as she let wisps of cyan thunder erase the frozen explosion before her. Within seconds, all instances of the bomb, including the heat, light emission, radiation, and pressure, became void, as if no bomb had gone off at all.

Jam watched this play out with his divine sense, though right after wards he found that his body had recovered enough to start moving around. He picked himself up from the ground and calmly walked over to Danger Noodle, as the scientist that had been present all this time stood blankly looking off into Danger Noodle's direction.

Too many emotions impacted her at the same time, disbelief, shock, fear, anger, regret, denial… if the world had continued on working as per usual, she would have died with the bomb and none of these emotions would impact her, but because Danger Noodle and Jam where there, she survived and processed a great majority of these emotions. How was she to react after coming so close to death, being betrayed by her country, and watching something that came straight out of fiction?

"Danger Noodle! Stop that! NOO!!!!! It tickles! AHHHHH!!!!" Danger Noodle didn't wait for Jam to make his way over to her, instead, she turned back into her serpentine noodle form and coiled herself all over her master.

She had missed spending time with Jam after all the weird things they had done in the Titanic Beast Mountain Range. Thus, now that she was free from that isolation she released all her frustration on Jam with not even the slightest attempt at getting his consent! Truly, a dumb noodle with no regards for her master!

After much crying and torture, Danger Noodle let up and left Jam some time to catch his breath. As she waited for her good-for-nothing master to restore himself, she transformed back into her humanoid form. Sleek and luxurious red robes of Sage Thunder manifested to cover her up, which contrasted quite dramatically with her blue eyes and hair.

"Say Jam, where are we?" Someone was either forgetful or purposefully ignoring their master's last wish to call him brother…

"We're in an unbloomed dimension, and it looks like we'll be stuck here for a couple years, so get used to it." Jam gave a big sigh and proceeded to think of what he would do while waiting for the eight years to pass.

"Uh… Jam? What are you doing?" Danger Noodle said, as she stared at the spot where Jam had been standing not one second ago.

"What do you mea..." Jam took a look at himself and realized his Divinity had used Invisibility without him actively calling for that to take place. He turned it off and resumed back off to think of solutions to his current endeavor. When suddenly, small flames started to circle around him, again without him realizing it.

"Uh… Are you ok?" Danger Noodle was getting concerned. It wasn't a problem for Jam's Divinity to be revealed in an unbloomed dimension as people had no concept of what superpowers or the Dao meant. But if they return to their world and Jam starts to unconsciously fire off random superpowers, they would be in for non-stop trouble.

Jam turned off the fires revolving around him and cursed "Damn, I guess the damage to my soul was deeper than I thought… Now I have to worry about random discharges of Divinity." He then thought of where he should begin in this world. He turned to the scientist that was still staring at him and Danger Noodle with disbelief and said "May, do you by chance have any idea who it was that tried to harm us?"

The scientist, May, took a second to think before saying "I'm just a scientist, so I have no clue who it is that calls the shots for the military. But, my boss might know..."

"Great, lets go talk to him and make whoever tried to kill us, pay." Jam's voice was unusually calm for someone who made such a dark statement. Jam gently caught onto May's hand and asked "Alrighty then, give me the rough location of where your boss is at the moment."

May looked at her hand being taken by this man who self-proclaimed himself to be god and didn't know exactly what it was that she was feeling. This stranger… he was powerful, yet gentle, calm, yet there was a glint of ruthlessness everpresnt in his eyes. She felt all sorts of things while Jam held onto her hand, but most of all she felt oddly safe. May said "H-he should be at NASA headquarters, that's in Washington D.C. or about 3,900 kilometers that way."

She pulled out her smart phone and gave Jam more precise information as well as some reference pictures after he requested them. Jam looked at her smartphone with depression painted on his face as he complained about how shitty this world's technology was developed. He was used to getting whatever he needed faster than he could think through the technology back in the Mortal Plane.

After Jam told her to brace herself, May found that she was floating in the skies next to Jam and Danger Noodle; right below them, the iconic NASA headquarters stood.

Jam turned to Danger Noodle and said "Remember, they aren't cultivators, so don't bully them too badly. We're pretty much gods here, so try to remain peaceful..." Danger Noodle didn't expect such a request from Jam of all people, but she took his words to heart and resolved to not kill everyone off with a quick sweep of any one of her various Dao Domains.

The three descended from the skies, which almost instantly attracted the attention of numerous branches of security. The White House Security, NASA's security, airspace security… everyone was alerted to three blips just randomly appearing above the skies of the nation's capital!

"Surrender yourselves or we will shoot you!" An armed guard who took cover behind one one of the NASA Headquarters walls said, as he aimed his gun at Jam. There were at least twelve other officers there ready to shoot at the drop of a dime.

"Jam, are we really just going to walk by them? Shouldn't we teach them a lesson for trying to harm us? They're pointing their guns at us, and even if they aren't a threat, it doesn't mean we should be disrespected like this, right!?"

Jam gestured for Danger Noodle to stand down, but her words did manage to ignite his pride. 'I really should teach them to not mess with something out of their league.' Thus, Jam turned to May and said "Lead the way to the boss' office." He pointed at the guards who aimed their guns their way and said "You can ignore them."

Those were god's orders, at least that's what May took them to be; she had already seen these two aliens erase a bomb and teleport thousands of kilometers in mere seconds. With them watching over her, she'd be hard pressed to ignore their requests, so even when facing a firing squad, she began leading the way to NASA's entrance.

With her standing in the front, Jam and Danger Noodle walked close behind her. Jam had his hands outstretched behind his back, while Danger Noodle took on a neutral walking pattern, only her eyes had derision as she stared down at these mortals who dared to aim their weapons at her.

The guards, after repeatedly telling Jam and co. to stand down were faced with them walking right towards them. They kept yelling for them to surrender and didn't immediately fire, but that was only because Jam's group walked slowly over to the entrance, and they appeared to not have any weapons.

Still, after getting about 20 meters away, the guards had to take deadly force as Jam's group kept ignoring orders. As one person began firing, the rest followed suit. However, the sounds of gunfire lasted less than three seconds, as everyone with the gall to be shooting at Jam was faced with a Demon Dao Illusion.

Jam watched with a surprised face as he saw the guards slowly go insane from whatever it was they saw within their own heart demons. 'That was the lowest level of illusions I can possibly cast! Tier 1 Heartdemon Illusions, with no energy backing it up!' Jam didn't like this feeling of completely dominating over others; at least not in the way he was currently going about it.

He dispelled the illusions as the people hit were starting to defecate and urinate on themselves from pure fear. Instead of continuing with the illusions, Jam just made everyone collapse to the ground from the "light" pressure of his Space and Time Dao Domains. Everyone within his domains were subject to Targeted Gravitational Manipulation, and after being struck by double or triple gravity, they all fell down powerlessly.

May watched on with horror, as she saw the guards first enter a manic frenzy and then suddenly collapsed onto the ground for no rhyme or reason. All these miraculous feats made Jam's image as a god all the more feasible, so she led on through NASA Headquarters.

The group passed through several hallways and buildings. Jam took down all the guards that tried to shoot at them, leaving behind a stream of soldiers struggling to do anything from the ground.