Discovering myself

DISCOVERING THE TRUTH

Alex and I were the perfect couple. Our story was not less than any other romantic love story we usually see in the novels. Met each other on the first day of the college and devoted to each other till the last day of the college. We were happy in love, it felt like magic. Envied by many, the perfect couple that everyone wanted. But that was all in the past.

I don't know when things started to change, the happiness, the bliss began to wipe out. The magic started to fade away. It started with disagreements but gradually it progressed to continuous fights. I started feeling helpless, I knew what was coming but I could not accept it. I wanted that magic to come back and let us shine. I tried to do anything and everything to rejuvenate our relationship until the final thread broke.

It was during a celebration party hosted by one of Alex's friend. We both were invited to it. Due to the past few stressful months of our relationship, I somehow started binge eating. As the results my clothes size went from "S" to "M". night before the party I was trying to find an outfit in which I could fit, but I couldn't find one. Seeing my distress Alex suggested to buy a new dress for me. I was on cloud nine. I happily put away all the dresses I had tried earlier.

The next day I was eagerly waiting for Jay to come back home, an apartment we shared. He came back exactly at 6 o'clock in the evening. I hurriedly unwrapped the dress, but what came ahead was unforeseen. It was a black cocktail dress. It was in contrast to what I liked to wear. Cocktail dresses are the type of clothes which are rarely seen in my closet. They are mostly on the farthest corner in my like list. But what surprised me more was that Alex being aware of my likes and dislikes bought that dress for me. Maybe sensing my discomfort, he reached out to me and asked in his sexy voice if I liked the dress. For a moment I was speechless but recalling the efforts I was putting in last few weeks to work out our relationship I hesitantly nodded and moved towards the bathroom to change into the dress.

Cautiously, I opened the door to see Alex waiting for me, or to be precise to check how the dress looked on me. I could see the change in his eyes, from his shining expectant eyes to duller disappointed eyes. He quickly masked his expression to normal and complimented me. But he forgot that we were together from 6 years and I was very well aware of his every expression, gesture, behavior and all the moods. I was hurt, hurt by his disappointment, but I think I was better in concealing my emotions as I masked and emotions and started getting ready for the party. Although the dress was highly uncomfortable, I comforted myself by thinking that it was special. The whole journey ended while I was still in my own world thinking. He nudged my shoulder to say we have reached. Putting on my happy smile which was totally fake, we greeted our friends cheerfully. Apparently, they still thought we were the perfect couple. Only we both ourselves knew what was true.

Before I know, I was on my own with a drink in my hand at one corner of the living room. Sitting on a chair, I could see him chatting with his friends from my position. On the other side I could see some of my old classmates discussing something most possibly gossiping about someone. Some of them were glancing towards me time to time, maybe their topic of discussion was me. And I think I knew what it was, about my weight and how I shouldn't be with Alex, he deserves someone better or something in the same context. But they always forget that I don't give a flying fuck about what these people think. I only care about only those opinions which comes from the people that I care about.

Maybe this was also a reason which is why I ended up like this. I should have cared about what those people think because that was what mattered to Alex. Ignoring those derogatory stares I made my way to the balcony to get some fresh air. But I was dumbstruck by what I saw.