WHAT I IMAGINED THEY THOUGHT

17 FEBRUARY, WEDNESDAY, COMPUTER CLASS

You know, there were some insults that I could laugh off - like Smelly Sam. And there were some that I ignore because they were beneath me. But the ones that stung the most, were usually said with all earnesty by those who stood on my side.

I know they didn't mean it in a bad way, they were just human. They probably didn't even realize how offensive it was. I was the alpha, not a weak human princess. My pack followed me because I'm strong, not because I'm cute.

WHAT A WOLF SHOULD SEE WHEN THEY LOOKED AT ME - THE ALPHA!

Monstrous large and powerful alpha wolf with pure and ancient bloodline. Three sharp, unflinching, expert betas, a black-hearted luna with the power to raise the dead, loyal army of fearsome warrior wolves, a wealthy and politically stable pack, and the vast natural territory in the wild and mystic Green Packlands.

I was fierce!

WHAT A HUMAN IN SCHOOL WOULD SEE - THE WARLOCK PRINCESS?

Weak "nice" girl who can't survive this world, can't control her warriors or defend herself from bullies. Can't cook to save her life either. Spoilt princess with okay grades, long blue hair, and handsome, rich boyfriend. Requires constant protection and assistance with even small daily tasks. Has magic ability to change the weather.

I didn't even actually have the single ability they credited me with. Why did they still think I was a warlock (or that warlocks could control the weather)? Till today, I still found little folded notes in my locker asking for spring to come sooner. Was it the same way as thinking I was still Smelly Sam? They just jumped on the wagon and didn't know when to get off?

And in reality, I wondered if any wolf actually saw what they "should be seeing". I mean, if they really saw me as THE ALPHA, I doubt the wolves around me would have dared to behave as they did.

I remembered the LyNCh article about the young, beautiful, gentle, princess alpha. I'm not sure who their anonymous informant was. According to Ki, that was now the Public point of view (POV.)

Could it be that I was wrong? Perhaps like the way my voice sounded, what other people saw from their POV  was totally different from what I saw from inside my head. Omo.

I tried to put myself in their shoes and see myself from their POV. This required some memory work and a bit of imagination on my part. Let's see...who should the LyNCh interview to get a clearer picture of who I was?

Please note that the following is purely fictional and spun from my own unique sense of imagination. (Unlike the rest of my diary which is the truth and nothing but the truth.)

HENRY POV

(because he had been the most vocal about my Alpha-ing so far.)

"Sam needs to learn to control her wolves. Scratch that, she needs to control her own wolf. Basically, she has no control whatsoever. I don't know why I even bother with her. Oh right, because she is a strong ally - or at least her pack is. She has enviably good betas, I'd employ Ki anytime he gets tired of babysitting. Her mate is a good friend of mine (which is saying a lot), and her army produces excellent results - worth every cent. But Sam herself is out of control. Her whole pack is crazy. Risk management is important. Okay, fine. She makes school more interesting."

MARCUS POV

(Because he's always with Henry in my mind, unfortunately agreeing with Hen, more often than not.)

"What? Sam? *Cough cough cough. Not that it's in my place to say anything, BUT... Sam is... Ah, let's just say I'm glad I'm not her Beta. I really don't know how her Betas manage to deal with her. Thank goddess that my own Alpha is not Sam, or Henry. I have a more sensible, mature, and understanding Alpha. Whew."

HENRY POV

"Your alpha owes me money."

MARCUS POV

"WHAT? Why are you bringing this up again? I mean, come on! Is there any alpha that doesn't owe you money?"

HENRY POV

*Smirking. "There are... But not many"

Oh wait, I got distracted. Back to the imaginary LyNCh interviews about Sam. Urm...who should we do next?

JASMINE POV

(Cos I'm organized that way. I'll "interview" all my school friends first.)

"Sam is a really nice Alpha. She is nice to everyone. Her hair is really lucky. I still carry the small lock of hair that saved me and my bus from being attacked by rogues. My mum put it in a little cloth pouch that I keep in the front pocket of my bag. She's my friend and I feel safe with her, but I don't know about her being THE ALPHA though. Sam is really strong, but she's still a girl."

LIAM POV

"I've always been popular. I can't deny my good looks and cool image had contributed to my popularity, but being popular is also a lot of hard work. And take it from me, getting popular is only half the battle, staying popular is even harder. But I'm still the most popular guy in school - even though EJ has become a close second. EJ is more athletic than I am, and his personality is like a whole parade followed by fireworks. But Jasmine says I'm more of the cool type. I just need to stay cool and do what I always do. And she was right. I like Jasmine. She's cute and friendly, and she's a good listener. In school, I usually run for Alpha Henry and he has rewarded me well for it. I haven't run for Sam. I know she has a strong wolf though, and she is kind of unstable, maybe it's hard for a girl to control such a strong wolf. That's why Alpha wolves are usually born to equally strong men. Anyway, I knew from Day One not to provoke her. I want to survive highschool. I'm pretty strong back home, but in school, I run with two alphas, and a beta...even with Fluffy and EJ around now, I'm the weakest. T.T. It's tough being the weakest wolf in the pack,  but at least I'm still the most popular."

Okay, you got me, I had no idea what Liam would be thinking so I don't know where all that came from. I just let my imagination run wild.

Tbh, I realised except for what Jasmine told me, and that he liked to pose silently a lot, I knew very little about Liam. He seemed like a nice guy, and he was largely responsible for our class and, as far as I remembered, only got yelled at by teachers twice. Once for forgetting to collect printouts at lunchtime, and another time because our class was too noisy or something. Even though that was hardly his fault.

According to Jasmine, Liam was the kind of guy who didn't care about popularity - that's why he was so popular. I'm quite sure there were lots of unpopular people who didn't care about popularity either.

Anyway, I've digressed. Back to my imaginary interviews...

PEARL POV

"Sam is like all the other rich alpha/beta/gamma/delta's daughters I know back home in my pack. I used to think she was different, but now I know better. She just pretends to be nice, but she turned the whole class against me the moment she saw I was a threat to her popularity. I'm sure she said something about me to Matt, Jules, and Bra too. I still see them at the train station on the way home sometimes, and I'm trying to, you know, fix it. But it's hard because I know they would side her. Everyone would side her. She's pretty, and fun, and all the guys are always paying her attention because she's the alpha's daughter. I wish I was the alpha's daughter and be pampered and spoilt too. I'm so jealous!"

Whoa.... Wait up. Wth was that? My imagination ran wild with that one. I wondered which teenage movie I had used as a basis of that bad script. Life as an Alpha's daughter isn't a bed of roses okay? Even if it were, it came with its share of thorns!

Okay, why was I getting work up over my own imagination? Omo was I subconsciously wary of Pearl because I felt she might harbor such feelings about me? Wow, but I had to admit, my imagination surprised me. I imagined Pearl in such a bad light. She sounded so...so... I don't know, jealous and spiteful.

I need to be more careful with this imaginary interview. Okay, let's do someone safer.

KRYSTAL POV

(Okay, so she wasn't a wolf... I'm not sure why I was "interviewing" her. Maybe she felt "safer" to imagine. Maybe I was curious what she would say if the reporter happened to have $500 in cold hard cash for a story.)

"We call her Zammi. That's Z-A-M-M-I with two 'M's, because it cooler. She hangs out with us at school. Zammi is the kind of girl who is smart at school, but really dumb when it comes to real life, like she has zero experience with boys, and she used to let b****es like Pearl and Abigail take advantage of her. But we took care of that for her. I think Zammi lives a very sheltered life. Her family is rich. Her dad seems like the strict type. Her mum is really classy and nice. She doesn't have to work and she had a huge wardrobe of branded clothes and bags. And handsome servants drive her around everywhere. At first, you'd think she is going to be a spoilt, stuck-up, snob, but if you get to know her, she's actually alright. She is down-to-earth and nice."

ZARA (POV)

"Zammi is my friend. She has really beautiful long blue hair, and she always smells like expensive soap. Krystal said it's because her family is rich and she doesn't sleep in the same room with 35 smelly hamsters. I do NOT sleep in the same room with 35 smelly hamsters. There are 39 hamsters. Brownie had babies again! And they are not smelly.

Anyway, Zammi is a nice good girl. She always does her homework. And she lets us copy it in the morning. I get really mad at Pearl whenever she comes over and says bad things about Zammi. It got worse when that Henry started dating Abigail. I really hate Abigail, she is such a show off. Shaking her skinny butt, 'Look at me! I'm a cheerleader! I'm dating a rich handsome guy.' So what? You think you're better than us because you're dating Henry? But I tolerated them for Zammi's sake. BUT the last straw came when Abigail and Pearl backstabbed poor Jaz. I'm glad Jaz managed to get with Liam in the end. Abigail and Pearl are... I cannot think of words that can be printed in the newspaper to describe them. Sorry. Anyway, I'm glad we figured out a way to keep them from pestering us anymore."

LEIA (POV)

"First of all, Zammi is such a pretentious name, but Krystal insists that it suits her. I would have named her Zam. Just Zam is cooler than Zammi. And Zammi is kind of like a tomboy to begin with. And then her hair suddenly grew out and turned blue because she was a warlock princess or something. After that, it's like a parade of handsome guys, one after another. First Harvey, and then I'm not sure who else. I'm sure Henry wanted to date her and not that stupid Abigail, but Abigail (the b****) made sure Zammi would be out of bounds. Ooooo... I hate girls like Abigail the most.

Actually, Zammi and Abigail aren't all that different. Both come for rich families, and are pretty, and have a lot of boys chasing them. But Zammi wins hands down. You should see the string of guys that came to her desk on Vday to put chocolates. Even our student president showed up! Abigail was foaming at her mouth. Hahaha. I bet she thought she was so pretty. Well, there's always someone prettier than you, B****!"

Okay. Stop. Wth. I know Leia can be a little mean, but my imagination was taking it too far. And what's this constant deal with Abigail? It's like the three cool girls had an axe to grind... An imaginary axe, because I was just imagining this right?

Did that mean, I was the one holding the axe? I frowned at the thought, I certainly never thought it...

I'm not sure how my mind could cook up such stuff. I had thought maybe trying to see myself from my friend's POV would help me understand myself better, but now it was making me question the way I viewed my friends.

I probably should stop this game. For some reason, my imagination kept running away with me, and I heard my friends speak so vividly that I almost believe the words to be the truth. That was super dangerous. My wolf seemed unable to distinguish between truth and fiction here. Which was weird, since my Alpha wolf had always been pretty good at sensing lies and traps.

If I kept this up, I might end up being the kind of delusional crazy paranoid alphas/kings in history... Those types never came to a good end. Maybe they started off, like me, just wondering what others thought about me.

Lesson learned. Thinking about what others thought about me was a dangerous practice.

Anyway, who cares what they thought? I'm the alpha!

The alpha who had wasted most of computer lab time daydreaming weird things. Now I needed to quickly finish up today's module.

I spent the rest of the lesson block behind a computer furiously speed-typing "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." in a bid to beat my previous high score. I even used my wolf power to get my fingers up to speed, memorising the movements the way I would memorize any other physical drill.

I'm not entirely sure about this exercise though. I mean, now I could type 75 words per minute, with 99.5% accuracy (according to the software). But only for the same one sentence repeatedly... a sentence which I doubt I would ever need to type in a real life situation