THE HIDDEN TRUTH (THAT I KNEW ALL ALONG)

17 FEBRUARY, WEDNESDAY, MIDNIGHT

The moment I was done changing, there was a knock on my door. Three knocks, which alerted my wolf immediately. Or perhaps it was because it was...

{Mate!}

"May I come in Princess?" His deep voice intoned from behind the door.

Omo. Mate! I nearly panicked except that I also realized that my three betas were with him. Hahaha. Whew.

"Yeah. Sure." I made sure I sounded nochalent about it. I even shrugged a shoulder, even if no one would have seen it. Yeah, act cool.

Boo had other ideas and jumped the moment Mate was through the door. He caught me with a gruff growl and put me down, "Are you alright, Princess?"

Why wouldn't I be alright? Seeing my moon and rose made everything alright. Wow. I shall call this phenomenon Mate Magic.

Mate ran a hand roughly through his wild curls. He seemed agitated.

Actually, all my betas too. Even Ki... who wasn't smiling. Uh oh.

"What's up?" I asked lightly. I instinctively reached over to rub Mate's broad back. I could feel the muscles under the t-shirt fabric. {Mmm...nice.}

"What the hell were you doing, Princess?" Mate would not be calmed though.

"Nothing, just thinking." I was still trying to soothe him. His spiked emotions were very distracting for my wolf.

But my answer only deepened my betas' frowns. Yes in plural. This had never happened before - my Luna yes, but to have all my betas frowning too. What did I do now? Think, Sam, think? Why was everyone upset with me? For thinking? Was I supposed to be a cute mascot who was also an airhead? Omo.

"Exactly WHAT were you thinking?" Mate demanded.

"Ah, nothing much... Just stuff like my fate... You know..." I tried to be exactly as vague as possible. Some thoughts and feelings were personal, you know. But of course they wouldn't know.

"Think aloud, Sam." Ben ordered.

What? Yeah, here's the alpha who can't control her warriors and was bossed by her beta.

"Just stuff... You know, my fate. The options all seem to lead to the same conclusion for me." Once I started, it just rolled off my tongue, "I'm the alpha. I always thought I had to be strong, but now it seems like you guys are doing fine without me - which is good, I guess. It's good because..."

"Stop!" Mate suddenly grabbed me tightly, a little too tightly, "You're not going to die. I don't care what happened to the other blue wolves, but I am NOT going to let you die."

Wait, what? Who was going to die?

Me? Maybe. If he kept crushing me in his arms, I probably might.

"You're holding her too tight, Luna." Ki warned him. He had a gentle smile. The one that meant he was being careful not to show his unhappiness. Grrr...

I tried to wriggle out of Mate's grasp.

"It seemed she did know after all." Harvey wryly pointed out. Ki sighed, "I had hoped."

I managed to break free from Mate, mostly because he loosened his grip. But he was agitated beyond the usual. He punched the wall nearest to him, "F***ing hell."

And then ran his hand through his curls again. I watched him, fascinated at the intensity of his anger.

"You're not going to die, Princess." Mate swore, "I won't let you, and I will destroy anything that tries to take you from me."

Okay, I wasn't going to get any useful information out of him.

I looked at my three betas and picked the calmest one, "Okay Harvey, spill it. What is my Luna so upset about?"

"I'm not UPSET!" Bell growled, "I'm ANGRY."

Yeah, okay. I rubbed his back some more. Okay, honey. You're angry.

"Harvey, report."

And viola, it was the magic word.

"Yes, Alpha." My good beta reported, "As you already know, the fate of the blue wolves had always been tragic. They appear in history, often in the midst of great change and upheaval. Also known as the Moon Goddess' angels, they were the heroes who at pivotal moments of Lycan history, turned things around for the greater good of wolves, after which they extinguish like a flame, often in battle, but also betrayal, or accident. None of the blue wolves in the past had ever lived to see their 21st birthday."

Yes, yes, I knew that. I think someone mentioned it before, but what had that got to do with me? I was talking about my fate and... Oooohhhhh.

Hmmm, I knew my life was too good to be true.

"You're not going to die." Mate growled through clenched teeth, his fists were clenched too. I had stopped rubbing his back when Harvey was talking, but now I quickly resumed the motion, "Yes, yes, I won't die. Don't worry."

"So you have a plan, Sam?" Ben sounded hopeful. Wait, so they all thought I was going to die?

"When exactly, did you think I was going to die?" I asked, you know, just to be sure we were on the same page.

"You're not!" Mate grabbed me by the shoulders. The guy was freaking out, "I've got an entire demon army and I've been honing my healing skill. Even if the goddess strikes you a hundred times, you won't die!"

Which actually sounded worse than death. Wth was he planning to do? Ressurect me a hundred times? I shook my head.

"Yes, but hypothetically, if I was a typical blue wolf, when do you guys think that would happen?" I smiled and sat down at the foot of my clamshell bed. I patted the empty space next to me, "Bell, sit. You need to calm down."

"That's not going to calm me down!" He growled at me, but then he sat. I patted his leg, "Feel better?"

He looked away and refused to answer. Looks like my hot blooded mate had a cute side too.

Ki smiled, his true Alpha's conflicted emotions had not escaped him. Well, Bell was not being subtle about it anyway.

Ki's smile was still gentle as he answered as delicately as possible, more for the sake of my Mate than myself, "Goddess, we fear, if you were a typical blue wolf, and this is only hypothetically speaking, it would be shortly after the merger of the Green Packlands, the establishment of the Princess Town, and possibly the destruction of the Rogue King."

"Which should've taken approximately 1.5 centuries or forever, BUT your black alpha wolf's catalyst bloodline has been speeding up the process repeatedly." Ben said accusingly, "At this rate, you'll accomplish these goals by the time you're 18."

Ben caught sight of Bell's expression and quickly added, "But you're not going to die."

"Because I won't let you." Bell growled.

Yeah, okay, honey. Hahaha. I patted his knee again.

"Well, then it's fine isn't it?" I gave my betas my widest smile.

"How could this be fine?" Mate demanded. Man, his wolf was riled. If the goddess was here in person, he would probably have mauled her, or died trying.

"I have you, don't I?" I said placatingly, "I have all of you and everyone too. And it's not like I would die too easily."

Mate growled again. I think my death was like a trigger for him. Note to self: refrain from mentioning my death in front of Mate.

"But it wouldn't hurt if you avoided completing those things too quickly." Ben said.

I shook my head, "Ben, there are wolves suffering in chains and cages, wolves who should be free."

"But you'll die!" Mate roared and stood up. His growling had taken a more permanent note now. He was at shifting point. My hair wrapped around him before he could actually shift in my room and Chi-ka-boom or anything.

"I'm NOT going to die, at least not yet. At any rate, I don't want to live at the expense of other people's lives." I shrugged. I'm sure Mate would have exploded on that, but my hair continued to hold him down. Poor Mate.

I stood up now, my wolf was also surfaced, but mostly because I was that psyched.

"I'm not going to die. No one is going to die. We are all going to grow old and move to the Colored Mountains and retire there." I decided, "So you can stop worrying about my death, and worry about how you're going to keep up with me that long."

I realised that my mate was being strangled at this point and dropped him onto the bed behind me. He pushed himself up, growling, purring? Wth.

I smiled, or Boo smiled, I wasn't sure who, "I might be cute now, but I won't always be a puppy. So enjoy it while you can. Just know that one day, I will grow up, and when I do, your alpha will be a true monster."

"Yes, Alpha!" My betas said.

Mate slipped his arm around me from behind and growled.

I turned my face to him and smiled, my widest smile, "Okay, I have homework now, so all of you need to go."

Hahahaha, Mate's face. He let his arm drop and stormed out of the room. My betas bowed to leave. Ben hesistated at the door, "You're not going to tell us your plan again, huh?"

I shook my head, "Nope."

Ben smirked, "Yeah, whatever, Sam. We'll keep up."

And then he shut the door.

I waited for a moment, carefully sensing to make sure that they had really left my floor. Then I very gingerly reinforced my mind block where it had leaked earlier.

I was careless... I let my depression seep out just now. It was a little embaressing that they caught my emo moment.

But now I know... I was fated to die by the time I'm 18. And no, I didn't have a plan. I was just winging it just now.

A plan would be a good idea. Think, Sam, think! I sat back on my golden clamshell bed.

So Ben's plan was to delay the inevitable, but I couldn't in good conscience do that. If my fate was to contribute to the greater good of all wolves, my death shouldn't be too expensive a price to pay. I was the alpha. I could take that.

Yeah, I was the alpha, not an airheaded cute mascot, after all. I will protect the happiness of those who ran with me, as long as I lived. It wasn't a bad deal at all. Everyone died sooner or later.

So yeah, I wasn't afraid of death.

At any rate, I still had time. According to the schedule, I might even graduate from High School.

I flopped back on the bed. I was tired.

My heart twisted just a little bit as I remembered Mate's agitation. Poor Mate. Perhaps he was right about being cursed... I thought about Grandma Luna at Grandpa Silas's funeral. I thought about Ki and how I sometimes feel he would never be able to heal that space in his heart... I thought about Mate being left alone like that -

And then I sat up. Nope. No way. Sorry goddess, but I can't just die like that.

Maybe it was the mating bond, maybe it was love, but while I didn't think all that much of my own life, I had to think about my mate.

I was the alpha. I would protect everyone's happiness. So what kind of Alpha would I be if I left everyone in tears?

Yes, I would die one day. But when I died, it would be after my pups were grown, the next generation was independent, and my mate had lived a full life and passed on - yes, because I will not leave Bell to suffer alone. I will live, because I was the Alpha and I can take it.

And all my betas would be mated with their soulmates - even Ki. I don't care. I demand a second soulmate for Ki!

I don't care what history said. I don't care what fate said. I know I was sounding human when I said this, but I want to choose my own life. Or rather, I was going to choose NOT to die.

I had one life and this was it. I can't do over. I can't restart, exchange, or return it. And I won't. No regrets. I was going to run and I was going to live and protect the happiness of the ones who ran with me.

And how was I going to do all this? Luck. Yes, that was my plan, I was going to use all the luck I had to ride this out. My luck always worked best when there was someone counting on me. So as long as they were there, my Mate, my betas, my family, my pack... My luck should keep me alive.

Haha! Take that goddess! I choose OPTION D: ALL OF THE ABOVE!

I'm going to change the world, save the Lycan slaves and give them a new home, protect the happiness of those around me, AND with a bit of luck, live to enjoy it all.

Cos I'm the Alpha. I'm going to protect everyone's happiness.