IT MUST HAVE BEEN LOVE

2 MARCH, TUESDAY, PAST BEDTIME

Was it just yesterday that I wasn't allowed to take off my diadem except for emergencies? It was somewhat ironic that within 24 hours, I was now not allowed to put on my diadem. Well, except for the show tomorrow.

As I lay in my clam shell bed between the lemony sheets, I stared at the underwater effect lighting making soft waves on my ceiling and my mind wandered to the day's events. Sometimes my mind did that when I try to sleep, just meandering through random things that were said or done in the day, and kicking myself for saying something stupid, or not saying something smart. Before my shift, I used to do this more often, specifically while I trained my control techniques.

I would remember, like say how Henry had pulled me away when Fluffy started overheating after the power surge. The thought would come innocently enough like that's right, Henry had pulled me away from the heat just in the nick of time. That was nice of him. Despite his constant bossiness, Henry was a good friend like that.

And then I would think, I should have known to step back. Why did I need someone to pull me away from something so dangerous?

I should've been the one to push Henry out of danger! After all, I was the stronger wolf. Why was I so slow?

Sometimes, I'd replay a conversation or argument and suddenly understand what was being talked about, or worse, think of a good comeback that I would never get to use.

I would try to remember it though, for future reference. So the next time someone said the same thing to me, I would be ready with the comeback. I don't recall this ever actually happening, but you'd never know.

Oh, right... my control techniques. I hadn't been training at all since my shift, yet I've improved by leaps and bounds. Perhaps this was what the elders meant by life being the greatest teacher.

Perhaps I've grown complacent and slacked off on my training. This wouldn't do! I was the alpha! How was I supposed to protect everyone's happiness, save Lycan slaves, or even keep up with everyone if I didn't do my best?

Even though Ki quoted my wolf warning them to keep up, the truth was they were overrunning me. I mean, they were OUTrunning me, but it also felt like they were overrunning me.

Perhaps I've stumbled upon the downside of having many strong wolves follow you. Although it was undeniable that their allegiance lent my own wolf no small amount of power, having so many strong wolves jostling to run forward made them hard to control. Instead of having a pack of strong wolves follow me, sometimes it felt more like I was being pushed forward by the tide of expectation swelling up from behind me.

And everyone had grown so strong... Ki had promised that we would see a very different Fluffy now that his wolf had stepped forward. Ben... I remembered how I was surprised by his height (yet again) when he got up and stretched just now.

I knew he was already taller than I was, but I still didn't expect it. I wasn't used to having to look up at him.

Grrrr... I've seriously been slacking off! Now that I thought about it, I could count all the times I practiced my control techniques exercises with one hand this year.

In my defense, (yes, I needed to defend myself, even if it were just to myself), I had been having a crazy time. Usually, I would KO the moment I felt the softness of my pillow and the bedding around me.

It was late and I should sleep - I was definitely tired enough but for some reason, my wolf was restless.

Maybe it was the guilt of not being consistent with my private training.

Or maybe it was the little emotional lapse I had with my Mum and Dad just now. To be honest, I'm still not sure what to make of the apple trees and Dad's ax on the tree named Jude.

I hoped my new wolves never betrayed me or my pack. That would really be a sucker punch in the guts. I'd be so mad - especially if the ladies cried - and they would cry! I wasn't blind to the way the female population in my pack looked at my wolves.

Fight dogs were not just picked for their rare and special bloodline powers and fighting abilities. The top fight dogs were also endowed with head-turning good looks. I had no idea vampires were so superficial until I met Maria.

I mean, take Ki, for example, whenever I walked with him, all the ladies take a second look and sometimes a third and fourth look too. I would glance back to see what they were looking at, only to see Ki acting completely oblivious to the attention.

No, I had no evidence that he was acting, but when was Ki ever truly oblivious?

Maybe it was all because my wolves were too good-looking that was keeping me up at night. Good-looking wolves were nothing but trouble - I mean, have you seen my mate?

At the thought of Bell, my wolf surfaced quickly. Boo was restless.

Maybe we needed a run. Maybe I should stop with the maybes and start training.

{Want mate.}

I did not just think that.

Hm... I considered the run - not because I was planning to run over to Mate - it's just been a while since I've stretched my wolf legs and a run might help me sleep better!

And then I dismissed the idea - not because I sense Bell much further away than I could run - it's just that it's late and I had a play to star in tomorrow morning!

I miss him.

I haven't seen him in forever.

It's not me, just the mating bond talking.

Maybe I should mindlink him, just to say goodnight and you know... have that kind of secret conversation that soul mates had.

I brightened at the thought. That's right! I'll just mindlink him! He felt rather far away. Maybe I could ask him where he was... Did that sound too naggy? Okay, maybe I won't ask him where he was. I'll ask him what he's doing!

Would that make me sound like a busybody?

Okay, I guess I could ask him... Wait, why should I ask him anything? Why was I so wishy-washy when I'm with him? Okay, new plan. I was the alpha. I was going to mindlink him and NOT ask him anything.

Then why was I mindlinking him?

Grrr wth. Why did I need a reason to mindlink my own soulmate?

My hair flared in annoyance, waving up to the soft watery lights on my ceiling like it were the seaweed in my underwater world.

I watched it wave and shimmer casting new shadows that moved with the soft light waves on my ceiling.

{Want mate.} Boo told me again.

{I don't care.} I decided, {We'd just end up fighting anyway... We always end up fighting when we're alone.}

I sighed against my pillow. Stooopid dumbbell.

All roses came with thorns, it's true.

What was I thinking about? I forgot.

My pillow smelled like lemons, the kind that smelled sweet and bright. I want to eat lemon meringue tarts. Mmmm...

And then I fell asleep thinking of food because sometimes, I did that too.

I didn't stay asleep. In fact, I woke up in what felt like a blink of an eye. I rubbed my eyes, it was dark... Did my mood lights go off on their own? I knew it had some kind of timer running it... But I had NEVER seen my room completely dark before.

I rubbed my nose. It had stopped working or something and the smell of lemons dissipated with the dream of lemon butter biscuits and lemon meringue pies and lemon custard tarts. Wait, why was I dreaming about pastries?

{Mate! ~❤️ }

Wait, what? What had Mate got to do with pastries?

But at that bleary moment, a grey silver crack of light broke in the darkness before me, and entered a dark flame, almost like a vampire's dark void, but more solid, or should I say liquid. It poured out from the man who stepped through and pooled all around him - a darkness even thicker than the pitch black around me.

"Bell?" I asked.

"Good evening, Princess." The dark flame simmered into the familiar shape of my soul mate, "To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

And then a blue flame erupted the length and height of a small car from a dome-shaped hearth behind him. Okay, I called it a hearth, because technically, that was what it was, but its appearance was more like a stone enclave on a raised step - almost like a small stage.

Thanks to the blue bonfire, I could now make out Bell's features, along with the dark suit and black cape, and the death god mask in his hand.

The moment our eyes met, they locked. I couldn't tell if it were the reflection from the blue fire, or perhaps the blue of my own eyes, but within the golden amber of his eyes danced a blue flame.

And like a spell, the words danced along in my head,

Tyger Tyger, burning bright,

In the forests of the night;

What immortal hand or eye,

Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

And suddenly I felt myself falling... in love.

{Mine.}

I even forgot how I hated sappy mushy feelings or how I was the alpha. I reached out my hand toward him, half afraid any sudden movement would cause him to disappear like a dream or a reflection in the water.

Bell growled, it reverberated lowly, and for some reason, I felt my wolf respond. When he took my outstretched hand in his large and warm one, I could feel the callous hardness of his palm against the softness of mine.

Grandpa Alpha would approve of these hands.

It was like a kind of spell had weaved between us, my hair shimmered and spilled forward into the pool of darkness around his feet. He leaned closer and I could see the bow of his lips, tilted upwards just a little.

There was a magic, deep and thick magic in the air so that it suddenly felt like it was hard to breathe.

What sorcery was this?