HOW DID IT COME TO THIS?

24 FEBRUARY, WEDNESDAY, MORNING

I think there was a part of me that was just waiting during breakfast. Just waiting...

For Ki to pop back into the kitchen, his killion-dollar smile brightening my day with a single, "good morning, goddess."

For Dad and Beta Lucas to stomp across our porch triumphant with Savy and River safe and sound.

For Bell enter in all his bossy glory, and both arms working.

Any moment now... It would be morning, and everything that happened would be over like one of my dream travels.

Any moment now.

....

But nothing happened.

Even after I finished my breakfast, nothing happened.

Outside, the sound of motorbikes over our driveway, and then the smooth engine sounds of the Porsche made me realize my ride was setting up. I blinked, I hadn't heard Harvey's truck... and then I realized Harvey had spent the night in the tower.

I suppressed a sigh.

"Sam, your ride is here." Mum prompted.

I watched my wolves outside position their bikes around the midnight blue Porsche and put on their riding gear, strapping on the loose ends of their gloves, shaking out their hair or securing it into short stubs before pulling their helmets over. Jax, who was on the bike closest to me made an extra extended yawn.

Harvey got out of the car, he was in his usual beta suit. Lately, my betas had taken to wearing the dark navy blue suits as a uniform. It flapped open as he stepped up the porch and he used a hand to smoothed it down and button up. With the other hand, he produced a key card from his pocket. Tapping the glass door twice, he scanned the keycard and let himself through the sliding door.

"Good morning Alpha." He bowed and shut the sliding door behind him firmly to keep the cold out.

"Good morning Luna." Harvey greeted.

"Good morning Harvey." Mum said. She looked at me.

I didn't get up.

"Sam, it's time to go to school." My mum tried to prompt me again.

I crossed my arms, "I'm not going to school until Dad comes home."

"Oh, Sam!" Mum sighed. She looked at Harvey as if hoping he would be able to do something about this.

Harvey smiled his usual wry smile, but I couldn't help but noticed he looked tired.

Actually, everyone looked tired. I was probably the only one who slept last night, once again proving that I was quite able to sleep through anything. I felt my mouth pressed down.

"Is there anything I can help with today, Luna?" Maybe Harvey decided to make use of the newly freed up slot in his schedule.

"I don't suppose you can help me convince Sam to go to school." Mum smiled at my good beta.

Harvey took one look at me sulking in my chair and bowed an apology to my Mum, "Apologies, Luna."

And then he had an idea, "Perhaps Ben..."

"No!" I flared, "I'm not going!"

"Apologies, Alpha." Harvey bowed again.

Poor Harvey. I don't know what he put up with this s*** early in the morning.

Mum sighed and then, because she was a tireless Mum who would never let her own personal exhaustion get in the way of her children's upbringing, she said, "Sam, its the last day of your exams. Why don't you just go today and complete your term at Winderhill well?"

Sometimes I wished Mum wouldn't be on my case so much.

I shook my head, feeling something wet and hot burn the back of my eyes. Nothing was going my way today.

"Oh, Sam." Mum sighed again, but this time she moved over to me. She sat down next to me where Savy usually sat and put her arms around me, "Don't cry!"

And of course I cried then. Stoopid tears.

Mum pulled my head down on her shoulders, "Oh Sam, don't cry. It's going to be alright."

I pulled my head back upright and roughly swiped the wet out of my eyes, "It's n...not...I'm...not..cry...ing!"

And then I started crying some more.

Harvey discretely moved the box of tissues over and placed it next to mum on the dining room table.

"Thank you, Harvey." Mum said, and placed a piece of tissue into my hands.

I hiccuped and tried to use the tissue but it got wet.

Wow, I was pathetic. I can't believe I broke down like that in front of Harvey. OMG.

Sabre came over and gave me a hug, "It's okay, Sam."

Yeah, I was so pathetic even Sabre had to do something.

I took a deep breath, I needed to get a grip.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mum asked gently.

I shook my head - was she trying to start the waterworks all over again?

"Please excuse me, Alpha, I'll be waiting outside." Harvey drew the curtains and let himself out.

I froze. Did the wolves outside see me bawling my eyes out the way I watched Jax yawn?

"Are you sure, Sam?" Mum asked again. She rubbed my back, it was very soothing. Mum's wolf power was always a balm on the raw and painful feelings.

I nodded. It wasn't like I knew what to say anyway. I helped myself to more tissue and tried to mop up the mess on my face. I even blew my nose, "Yeah, I'm okay."

WTH. I was the Alpha.

Mum's mouth was pressed into a firm line, "Maybe you should stay home today."

I shook my head. I was the alpha.

I got up and took my things, "I said I'm okay."

And then I pulled open the curtains. Harvey who was faithfully waiting just on the other side, immediately slid opened the door for me to step out.

"Bye Mum, bye Sabre." I called out with forced cheer.

Then I turned and made a beeline for the car. Harvey quickly bowed and shut the door before catching up in time to open the car door for me.

I got in without a word.

But the moment Harvey got into his seat and buckled up, I immediately ordered, "Update report."

TBH, I just wanted to forget my moment of weakness,

Harvey, like the good beta he was, immediately recited it to me.

Bell's condition had stabilized and he is recovering quickly. I nodded. When I had come down from my room this morning, there was a white tent over the section of the pool where they had somehow floated him. I didn't recognize the medical staff around the tent, so I had left. The pool room was unbearably humid anyway, and I hadn't want to perspire in my uniform.

Ki's condition was also much improved, and he had regained consciousness in the predawn hours, but Harvey had told him to take the day off.

There had been an incident in the Red Packlands again though. A very large forest fire that was still ongoing. It was estimated over the news that this would be the worst one since the Great Fire in the Black Packlands ten years ago if they couldn't get it under control. It's particularly worrying because part of the fire was a little too close for comfort from our Underground. But Harvey assured me almost immediately that Beta Gerald is keeping tabs on it and the Underground had sent word that they were in the safe.

Yeah, they would be.

I felt my mouth flatten in displeasure again.

Harvey went silent. I looked at him just to check if he were okay, and then I realized he was looking at me, probably wondering if I were okay. Why? Was he afraid I would cry again?

I released a very careful and quiet sigh.

What should I do?

I leaned back against the headrest of my seat. No one told me being the alpha was going to be so damn hard.

"Continue report." I said. I was not going to cry.

"Yes Alpha." Harvey's gravely calm voice carried on.

Flynn and the warriors had returned by the way.

I nodded. Yeah. Four of the idiots were escorting our car as Harvey spoke. Four very sleepy idiots. If any of them fell over... And then I sighed again. Normally, I would laugh, but I wasn't in the mood today.

I can't remember what else Harvey reported on. Something about the Lorent Pack audit trail, something about the Princess Town construction, something about the warlock situation, something about Alpha Solomon's official visit, something about LuvMuunMuun's new media campaign on TV or something. I had stopped paying attention by then.

How did it come to this?

I kept trying to replay the events of this week. If this was a which way book, I would have turned back the pages for a redo. This wasn't supposed to happen. I had always been lucky. It had always ended well. So where had I misstep?

"Harvey?" I asked at the car ceiling cutting my good beta off.

He stopped his report immediately, "Yes, Alpha."

"What did I do wrong?" I asked without looking at him.

There was a pause.

"What do you mean, Alpha?" Harvey sounded cautious.

"Tell me what I did wrong." I rephrased.

"I..." This had to be the first time Harvey faltered like this, "Forgive me, Alpha, I do not understand."

I tried again, "If you were me, what would you have done differently?"

Now Harvey was frowning at the road in front of him in earnest.

"You don't have to hold back." I said quietly, "Just say whatever."

"Then please excuse my forwardness." Harvey said.

I nodded and waited to be told how I was an idiot and what glaring stupid mistake I must have made to get to this point today.

There was another silence as Harvey made the turn up the road to Winderhill High. I waited patiently, steeling myself to hear my good beta out. I bet he really regretted following me now, huh?

I mean, have you heard the report coming out from my good beta's mouth?

There was a warlock threat on my packlands. My luna's right arm was irreversible damaged. We messed with Black Forest - which was one of Night Leaf's most long standing trading partners. We set the Red Packlands on fire (even though Harvey might not know it was us yet). My sister is somewhere lost in the Warlock lands. Dad and Beta Lucas hadn't come back with her yet. Ki is down. And I think it was undeniable by now I had zero control over my wolves. Not my Night Leaf pack, not my fightdogs, not my betas, not even my own luna.

I know they love me and they do their best to protect me, but what kind of failure of an alpha was I?

I had been so confident too. I was made to win. I'm always lucky.

Well, tada. I'm not sure what happened, but suddenly my luck seemed to have turned, and now what?

"In my personal opinion," My good beta started, "Alpha didn't do anything wrong."

Eh, what?

"But!" I protested sitting up in my seat.

Harvey raised a hand, so I sat back again to hear him out first, "S*** happens."

Eh, what?

I blinked.

Harvey shrugged, "That's life. But as long as you're here, our pack can keep running."

Because I'm the Alpha.

I looked out of the window of my side of the car. The warriors outside were removing the barriers and opening the school gate to allow our car in. I sighed again.

"My dad used to say, as long as the pack keeps running, we haven't lost yet." Harvey said. I wondered how bad things were for my good beta to resort to quoting Beta Gerald.

Beta Gerald who had kept his pack running on his own, even without an alpha, rain or shine, running the administration, running in his beat up truck on his Sunday visitations. He never gave up hope. It was too bad he put his hope in me though.

Yeah, I was the Alpha, but I seemed to be causing more trouble than good everywhere I went.

Okay, technically, it was my Luna... whoever said beautiful women were nothing but trouble never met a beautiful man. And River - let's not forget who it was who brought the blasted stone into our packlands, and then took Savy into the warlock forest. WTH. River wasn't even my wolf! Grrrr... humans!

Our car pulled up at the school porch.

It was the usual, barriers and warriors stationed to separate me from the other kids in the student foyer. Fluffy and EJ dismounted from their bikes, waiting to usher me straight to my classroom.

Just another every day at school. Since when was something like this normal? How did it come to this?