BECAUSE JOKES SHOULDN'T HURT

3 MARCH, WEDNESDAY, CONTINUED

"Not too honestly though..." Marcus joked.

"Then half honestly?" EJ asked and then he started bouncing up and down, "Please say I nailed it!"

Harvey's lips pressed down in a straight line and his eyebrows crinkled.

"I missed a couple of hits." Marcus reflected, "Don't know if you caught it. That was my bad. I mean, go ahead Harv. I know my band isn't Battle of the Bands standard, I won't take offense."

Oh... suddenly it occurred to me that when this joke landed, the egg wouldn't just be in Harvey's face. The yolk's gonna land on Marcus too, which wasn't quite so funny.

{Abort prank, Fluffy.} I think sometimes, it was better to fall on my own butt. I mean, I could laugh it off and get up again. But there were some things you didn't joke about - like how bad your good friend's band was. Especially if he had no idea his band sucked.

And I think Fluffy might be right about being my favorite strategist, because he answered, {Understood, Alpha.}

He didn't argue, sound reluctant, or even question me.

{Do you really understand?} I asked.

{My Pretty Alpha has a kind heart. I've been following you to school every day now. Do you think I hadn't noticed?} Fluffy answered.

Well, given that I had assumed these two just came to school to clown, you couldn't blame me for not expecting them to notice anything.

{Do you want to test me?} Fluffy asked when I didn't look convinced. And then he suddenly laughed aloud, "Sorry, sorry! We were just playing a prank."

EJ, Fluffy's eternal accomplice, jumped up and down, "Hoi, hoi! You should've seen your faces!"

"What?" Harvey asked in a rare show of confusion.

"What?" Marcus asked, clearly confused.

"What the hell!" Henry stormed, "Sam! I knew something was off!"

Wait, like the fact that EJ was howling and head-banging out of the blue didn't strike you as obviously wrong to begin with? And then I realized that Henry wouldn't be able to see EJ's antics from where he was positioned on the stage. Just like how EJ played Nerd behind Bulliet's back. It was a gift, I tell you, and I was suddenly quite excited to see Hen's expression when he saw the video.

"My bad." I said, "I was messing with Harvey."

"What the hell, Sam!" Henry yelled, "Can you be serious? My allowance is on the line here!"

"Okay... Never mind, let's try it again." Marcus said.

And then my good beta raised his hand, "Can I take it that aside from my alpha, the rest of you were playing seriously?"

Urm... If he meant "seriously bad" then yes.

"Usually it takes some time for a band to learn to play together - particularly when it's the first time the members are part of a band." Uh oh, I think Harvey entering longwinded mode again, "Playing together with others is a skill on its own and needs to be practiced."

Oh, I guess that's like mastering a fight drill and then actually fighting or completing missions in a team?

"You have to listen out to each other and at times cover for each other." Harvey continued, "This is why even average musicians can become a great band together."

Yeah, totally like how I'd easily cream the competition with average wolves who could work well together, even if the other side had the "strong" wolves. Maybe music was more like fighting/hunting/training than I realized.

"Marcus, you're the most skilled musician in the band, so you'll also have to bend down the most to make this work." Harvey went on to each individual, "You need to take care to cover and simplify to blend in with the others."

Which was the most tactful way I've heard someone say, "Stop slamming your own thing back there, listen to your band mates, and play properly with the others."

"Alpha Henry, you need to simplify too. Never mind sliding on the keyboard. The band is relying on you to give the beat. Focus on hitting each note accurately and clearly." Harvey continued, "If it's okay, can you play a few lines for me? Just the main baseline, please."

Henry did. It was just like dum, dum, dum, dum... But now that he had dumbed it down, it was a clear rhythmic baseline.

"That's alright." Harvey said, "I notice you're having trouble further down the neck... Have you tried tilting your hand at the wrist a bit more? Sort of, pardon me..." Harvey stood behind Henry's shoulder and helped the alpha adjust his handhold, "Like this, alpha."

"Oh." Henry breathed when he heard the resulting sound. He was so surprised. I was surprised too. It did make a difference.

Henry plucked a few more notes and then decided, "Pete. Fire Teacher Raphael."

Okay...

But Harvey had moved on to Janice who had turned bright red just because he was talking directly to her.

As usual, Harvey pretended he totally didn't notice the poor girl's flustering, "Try to listen out to what the others are playing..."

And then Harvey frowned as he considered our circumstances, "Maybe we can all take the beat from Alpha Henry. I know the drums usually control the beat, but since Marcus has more experience, it might be easier for him to back up the baseline than the other way around."

Marcus nodded, "Yeah, I can do that."

Harvey checked some of our equipment, "If you could set up a monitor behind you, or plug in earphones to the main channel, it'll be easier for you to hear the others from inside here"

"Here" being the drum shield where Marcus was cooped up like my hamster, Lucky.

"Pete, get the monitor." Henry ordered and Beta Pete immediately went to tappity tap on his magic phone.

Harvey now turned his attention back to Henry, "Alpha, the band will be taking the beat from you. So remember to keep it clean and clear."

Henry nodded, the alpha wolf in him determined to lead successfully, "Yeah, I can do that."

We tried again, just the base, drum, and keyboard.

All in all, Harvey was goddess sent. With fine tack and clear and patient individual instruction to half our band, he completely transformed our performance. Now we actually sounded like we were playing the same song.

Harvey turned to the three of us next. The moment he looked at us he pinched his nose bridge, "You two, what's your part?"

"I'm the lead singer! Hoi, hoi!" EJ declared loudly.

"I'm supposed to sing with EJ." Fluffy smiled.

"What about you, alpha?" Harvey turned to me.

"I'm supposed to play the tambourine, but very quietly so no one could hear it." I explained.

EJ and Fluffy laughed like I said something terribly witty.

Harvey pressed his lips together, and then he reluctantly allowed, "Okay, maybe we can try it from the top with everyone and see how it goes."

I think he was trying to give us the benefit of the doubt.

So we all began all over again, this time in earnest. Henry kept the beat in a simple but clear bass line. Marcus followed in the same way. And we could actually hear Janice on the keyboard now. EJ and Fluffy sang, and I tapped on the tambourine only during the chorus as quietly as possible. And viola - we were actually making music!

"BRAVO!" Beta Pete who was recording this applauded us at the end of the song. He looked extremely relieved, "That was fantastic!"

It's true. Not our performance though, but the fact that we actually sounded like we were playing a real song was fantastic. Who knew how much difference a bit of expert advice could make?

"That's better." Harvey nodded.

Henry made all of us put down our instruments and sit on some sofas to watch what Beta Pete had recorded on the big screen TV on the other side of his music room.

"I want to see how it turned out." Henry said.

My lucky sense of direction felt like this was going to be a bad idea, BUT I was also somewhat curious so I pulled a big squishy pillow onto my lap and made myself comfy next to Janice. As usual, two seconds into play and I realized I should have followed my lucky sense of direction. Watching us on TV was an extremely painful experience because I just realized what's worse than being the audience of a terrible performance - being the band.

"We were horrible." Marcus groaned when it was over. He covered his face with his hands.

"EJ!" Henry was furious, "What the hell were you doing back there?"

EJ and Fluffy laughed.

"Don't worry. The next video is very much better." Harvey said.

"Do we have to watch it?" Marcus asked miserably.

We watched it anyway. And like Harvey said, our second round was much better.

"YES!" EJ high-fived Fluffy, "We nailed it!"

No, not really EJ. At best, we didn't suck anymore.

Marcus sighed, "That's better... but it's still... kind of meh."

"Meh" was a very kind way to put it.

I felt bad for Marcus. I think it was just hitting him that the dream band that he started was rubbish. We weren't the last hurrah, more like the last disaster. Hahahaha! Why was I laughing? I don't know... we were doomed.

"Harvey, if you've got any more tips, just say it." Henry ordered, "You won't be doing us any favors if you hold back. We need to win tomorrow's contest."

"Yeah, Hen's future pocket money is riding on this." I grinned.

"Don't remind me." Henry groaned.

Harvey frowned lightly, "Apologies, Alphas. Except for a few minor tweaks, I don't really know what else to do within the short time frame."

"That's okay, Harvey." I gave Harvey a small smile, "Thanks, you've already saved us from bombing on stage tomorrow."

Janice patted her red cheeks, "I'm still in shock."

I guess it wasn't just Marcus. The realization had fallen on all of us like a bucket of cold water - we were really bad. Like shockingly bad in the first video, and then only not all that bad in the second (but not all that good either).

"Let's just pull out." Marcus sighed, "It was a dumb dream to begin with."

Henry nodded, "No point fighting a hopeless battle."

"But your allowance!" I protested.

"Sunk cost, Sam." Henry gritted out, "Even if we played, we'd still lose it."

"You're giving up?" I flared. NO WAY! No one was allowed to give up!

"You guys can't give up! What about all the time and hard work you've put into this?" I argued.

"That's sunk cost too." Henry informed me dully, "Put away your wolf, Sam. It's over."

"Well, it was fun while it lasted." EJ folded his hands behind his head and leaned back into his armchair.

My hair shimmered. They were really giving up? Just like that?

"Sam, we need to face the reality." Henry tried to reason, "And for goddess' sake, put your damn wolf away!"

I shook my head furiously, "No! We can't give up! I want to win!"

"Sam!" Henry protested, "What the hell Sam!"

"No one is allowed to quit." I decided, "And no one is allowed to go home till we get our act together!"

Henry got mad now, "Sam! Wake up. You can't win just because you want to. Sometimes you need to know when to cut your losses."

"One more try." I said, "Let's try again."

"Does Pretty Alpha have a plan?" Fluffy asked.

Of course not! Wasn't he supposed to be my strategist? I looked at Harvey who immediately winced.

"Harvey, what would you do if you were the leader of this band?" I asked.

Harvey pressed his lips together.

"Just say it, Harvey." I pressed, "You don't have to worry about our feelings."

"Yeah, they're already crushed." Marcus half-joked.

"I would insist we take part in tomorrow's competition." Harvey admitted. GOOD BETA! Yes, that's the spirit!

"But only to chalk up performance experience." Harvey said, "Over time, I'd work on recruiting a guitarist or two and changing out the members who show the least improvement. It'll take about a year to make this band ready for a chance in Battle of the Bands."

But this wasn't Battle of the Bands! This was just a crummy Talent Time contest in Winderhill High... which meant we still had a chance. Or so I hoped.

"What do you think, Fluffy?" I turned to my strategist.

"We can pay off the competition, and then poison the ones who refuse." Fluffy smiled.

We all laughed, and then Harvey said very firmly to the smiling wolf, "No."

"We can't do that." Henry agreed, "The bet is that we win by music ability."

So if your Dad hadn't put that clause there, you'd have gone with Fluffy's plan?

Think, Sam, think! Harvey gave us some expert tips, and we were suddenly able to perform much better, but this was as far as his expert tips could take us...

"I know!" I jumped up to my feet, "Harvey, do you know anyone else who can possibly help us? Like if YOU needed advice for your band at New Leaf, who would you ask?"

If expert advice could bring us so far, think what a master's advice could do!

"Oh." Harvey's eyebrow quirked up so I knew someone had come to mind, "There is someone I had wanted to ask, but he's been rather busy."

"Forget it, Sam, we are a lost cause." Henry waved it off, "At any rate, it'll be crazy to expect someone like that to rush down at immediate notice."

"Come on. Just one more try." I coaxed, "I promise, if he can't make it or if this doesn't work, you guys can quit."

Henry sighed, "Who the hell would rush down at moment's notice to help a hopeless cause?"

"Luna Bell is on his way, Alpha." Harvey's calm wry smile had returned.