Chapter 17

Akane tucked her knees to her chest staring at the foggy window. Somehow, gazing at that white blur gave a small connection with it. Her head had been aching ever since she woke up and it only swelled from the stress of it all. What exactly happened? The images were vague, only bits and pieces of it, but that could only mean she overdid it again. That's how it always went every other time before. Since she didn't have her sketchbook on hand to provide the relief, she had to settle with the window.

A part of her wanted to tell Recovery Girl to let Bakugo in so they could talk about it, but deep down, she knew it would only be a series of terrible things. What good did this quirk actually do for her anyways? It only destroyed. She attempted to take a few deep breaths in, trying to find solace in the emptiness of the room.

It should have been easy to relax since there weren't any visitors around to bother her, but sadly the extra space didn't help at all. She was actually starting to regret making Recovery Girl send them away. To be honest with herself, she missed her friends, hearing their voices, going about their day positively. It didn't matter if she wasn't included in their conversations. There was liveliness in their daily customs and that liveliness was the perfect distraction from her own mind, and she was glad to be a part of it. It was the same way with Sato, Shishida, Todoroki, and even Bakugo. At this point, if the hothead had been in the room with her, she might have been able to overlook his insults.

She heard the door open and close before hearing the nurse's light footsteps across the floor. As usual, Akane paid it no mind and kept her gaze out the window.

"The forecast says we'll have scattered showers tomorrow, possibly all weekend." said Recovery Girl as she approached her bedside to check her vital signs, as she did the last hour.

On cue, Akane held out her arm, to which she placed her fingers around her wrist, feeling her pulse and counted off her watch. After a few seconds, she went to check her temperature before taking her blood pressure.

"You're not running a fever, but your BP is still a little high. I know it's not always easy, but try and relax, Dearie."

The nurse then went to put up her equipment, but stopped short.

"Oh, I almost forgot."

She reached for a book on top of the counter and handed it over to her. It wasn't a magazine or one that was published either. It was a notebook, and Hattori immediately recognized the neat handwriting.

"Your friend wanted me to give you this. Maybe it'll help. And it's not just him, you know. All your friends are concerned for your well being."

Bakugo, a friend? The very idea made her nose scrunch up. Acquaintance was more like it, or maybe not even that, more like distant, distant strangers that share a work relationship. Nothing more.

She ran a finger down the spine of the book, wondering why he wanted her to have this. She went back and forth, contemplating opening it. The last time she read this, he made a long list of everything that was wrong with her, including several uncanny remarks. Taking that into account, how would this evaluation be any different? And why didn't he just wait until she got back to the dorm to give it to her? It was very weird, seeing as how he wasn't the type to seem to give a damn at all about her, and yet, he makes this kind of effort. All in all, she assumed he probably wrote about how she was still incredibly weak or some shit like that and was too impatient to say it in person.

Right now, she decided to push it off to the side of the bed and go back to the condensation forming on the glass to the outside world.

It was unusual in itself that he came by at all, it wasn't like him. Then again, she had only known him for a few weeks. The only things she knew about him were from small observations and training, so how would she know what Bakugo's version of 'normal' was? Even if he was a class-A jackass, she still hoped that she didn't hurt him too badly.

Though he always boasted about how great he is with that quirk, he actually owned up to it in battle. It got her wondering if he ever really lost a fight. Surely, he has because no one can win every time. There was no mistaking that the voice at the door was his, so knowing that he was walking around campus led her to believe he was just fine. Hopefully, everyone else was too.

A few minutes went by in silence until it broke from the sound of someone knocking outside the door again. Recovery Girl clicked her patient documents off her computer screen before she stood up from her chair to go see who it was. More likely, it was another student coming by to check up on her again. At this point, she may as well stick some sign on the door that says not to disturb her.

"Oh, Mr. Aizawa, Ms. Kayama, is there something I can do for you?" she asked, which caused Akane to immediately turn her head to listen.

"We need to speak with Hattori." said Aizawa.

"I'm afraid she's still too ill to speak right now."

"That's usually how it is with her. We will only be a few minutes. She doesn't have to speak, only listen." Midnight explained.

The nurse sighed. "Very well."

The door creaked as it opened wide to allow them to come in. The two teachers approached the end of her bed while the nurse went back to her computer work. Hattori felt her pulse rise as she held her knees closer. They wouldn't have come if it wasn't important, and considering what happened, she knew it wasn't going to end well.

"Don't worry, you're not in trouble or anything like that." Aizawa assured, practically reading her mind.

"We came to make sure you're okay. The last time this happened, you were just like this, sitting alone in the nurse's office, for several hours." said Midnight. There was a short pause in silence.

Akane's head dropped to her knees, not wanting to see the look on their faces right now. "... Who did I hurt?"

"Sato and Bakugo got the worst of it, but only a few scrapes and broken bones. They've been discharged and are recovering fine. Shishida was the only one who managed to come out unscathed. No one else got injured." explained Erasure.

She exhaled a heavy breath that she had been holding in, part of it in relief that they were alright, and the other part that she allowed herself to succumb to the darkness again. Such an idiot...

"Hattori, we really came here because we need to discuss managing your quirk. In order for us to help you during these violent moments, we need to understand what's going on. This appears to be more of a psychological complication than a physical one. You may be required to talk about some deep, personal issues that you probably don't want to tell us, which is why we're prepared to assign you a personal guidance counselor." addressed her teacher.

Akane jerked her head up in disbelief. "Counseling?"

With a nod, she continued. "We've already discussed this with your guardian. She had no objections to our proposal. Your assigned counselor is Mrs. Tokihira. We've also talked with her about how we should handle the situation of your quirk. She believes that if we can find a way to get past these triggers and build up your confidence, then we should be able to help you keep a level head and prevent anymore destruction. We don't normally provide this sort of thing at U.A., so we can't force you to do this. We'll leave the choice up to you. If you do decide to meet her, her office hours are from 10 to 3 during the week."

She averted her eyes back to the bed sheets, thinking about it quietly. The two of them assumed that she would be all for it judging from what Mae Hattori said over the phone, but it didn't appear to change her current condition. Aizawa took this as a sign and took a step closer.

"A Pro won't be able to develop an agency or find work if they cause more damage than good. I suggest you think hard about it and come to a decision soon."

He paused for a moment.

"And another thing, it seems your friend Hatsumodo has a lot of concerns with your group, specifically with Bakugo. He says that you've been forced to overdo your training in and out of the final period. Do you agree with his claims?"

Damn it, Yuto! She made it crystal clear that she didn't want him to get involved, she couldn't believe that he would go and do something like this behind her back. Actually, that's not true. He would do something like that. The mere impertinence of it all turned her hands into fists. Damn him!

To answer his question, she shook her head no.

"Bakugo's pretentious attitude may be a huge flaw, but his drive and standards definitely sets the bar for my class, so I assumed his training methods would be just as strenuous. If it had been me or Midnight training you, I'm certain it would have been exactly as hard. That's how my students got in the position they are today. Requiring such experience takes a lot of initiative and work. That's why I chose him for your group." said Aizawa.

"What?..." She looked up to him for more details.

"We didn't put you together as a form of punishment or so that you'll somehow end up getting along with each other. There's a quality you lack that's necessary for becoming a hero, the same goes for Bakugo. I know about your triggers. Even at times when it doesn't happen, you don't have the confidence to continue fighting for the sake of your classmates. Knowing how to limit yourself to keep from hurting others is a good trait to have, but it can also work against you. If you continue to doubt yourself, you'll never grow beyond your comfort zone... Bakugo, on the other hand, doesn't limit himself to anyone or anything. Much like you, it can get very destructive."

"Erasure brought the idea to bring you four together. Sato and Shishida were chosen because of the similarities between your quirks. Aside from Bakugo, those two know the limits of their own strengths and how to use it in a calm, precise manner. We are hoping that you can learn from each other through the training, but after what happened, it's clear that there are some underlying issues." added Midnight.

"I don't doubt that you've gone through some kind of trauma before you came to U.A. That may be one of the reasons you came here, to find a way to control it. And with the dorm break-in, I'm sure it's put a lot of pressure on you. Like most of your classmates, everyone, including my class, has undergone a run-in with The League of Villains. Some students had it worse than others, like Bakugo and Midoriya... But still, even after the Villains' attack, both of them still continue to fight, and they are determined to get stronger. You can do the same." said Aizawa, which made Akane glumly look down, feeling even more disappointed in herself.

"That's right. You are just as capable of overcoming this as anyone else here."

"I strongly suggest you consider the counseling, but if not, I want you to try and understand your group members, especially Bakugo. It will help."

He turned with Midnight towards the exit.

"Feel better soon. I hope to see you back in the dorms before curfew."

"And I expect you in class first thing Monday morning with everyone else, Hattori." Ms. Kayama waved her goodbye with a soft smile before the door closed behind them.

The wrinkled sheets on her bed never felt so welcoming as she bundled up in it. Counseling? They were definitely thinking just like her mother if they came to that decision. And of course her mom would be on board with it. When she first stayed with Mae in her condo, she rarely spoke to her. She asked about where she came from, about her previous home, and her parents, but Akane never spoke of it, not even when she was limited to 'yes or no' questions. That time, it was so difficult for her to trust people, which wasn't Mae's fault, but the circumstances didn't make it easy. It was just survival. That somehow influenced Mae to set her up with a licensed therapist.

The first Doctor tried several methods; she tried simple questions, getting her to talk to stuffed animals or puppets, adding soft music, aroma therapy, and plenty of games, but the weekly sessions didn't get them any results. They eventually wasted a full month trying. It wasn't until Mae caught her changing one day that she discovered the scars on her back.

After that, things started to shift sideways dramatically. The Doctor and her mom then tried more elusive methods to get her to talk about her past. Finally, when they had no choice, they decided to corner her by bringing a person with a mind alternating quirk. That was when she had her first violent episode with her quirk. Akane didn't remember much about that day, but she did remember that it terrified the Doctor so badly, she immediately demanded for her to go see a different therapist.

Akane went through maybe four Doctors altogether over the span of eight years. The first three went the same way the first one did, giving up after a month of no communication. The fourth therapist was different from the rest. Instead of talking her down, she allowed Akane to speak at her own pace by asking her questions that didn't pertain to her origin. She asked about her favorite color and things to do, what her dreams were, and just about anything else she could think of that made her focus on the future. Somehow, that allowed her to feel more comfortable and she was finally able to speak calmly. Mae adopted some of the Doctor's methods at home and before too long, Akane thought more positively, she was drawing and reading again, and everything was going swimmingly. The only thing that was missing was her back story.

She continued to keep it to herself, but after a while, the Doctor didn't feel like it mattered as much anymore. She was convinced that as long as Akane could establish her own comfort in day-to-day life that everything would be fine. She explained to her Mom that the violent outbursts were only a reaction to the added pressure, and instructed that she be as patient as possible in order to achieve proper development. For a while, it did, but even still, there were many reminders of that dark time, and Akane never forgot. It could be a fight scene in a movie, a really bad dream, hearing someone talk, or touching her back. When it happened, there was no control and very little memory of her own actions.

After almost a year with that Doctor, she stopped going to her sessions. Then Junior High hit along with a mix of puberty and nonstop school drama. If she could be honest with herself, that time sucked almost as bad as it was now. If those therapists couldn't help her then, what makes them think an unlicensed counselor would be able to do better? What could possibly be achieved by this? Her past was meant to be exactly where it was, in the past. She hated the idea of reminiscing it to some stranger that she barely knew. And if thinking about it was enough to make her lose her shit, how would talking about it be any different?

At least, they gave her a choice. She doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to. Her triggers weren't as bad as they used to be.

Her focus shifted over to Bakugo's notebook on the corner of her bed. His name was written neatly on the cover with a couple of small doodle explosions around it. Go see a counselor, or try to understand Bakugo? What kind of bullshit were they trying to insinuate? She took in a deep breath through her nose and took the book. At this point, she would rather read his insulting, shitty notes on her than think about that crap anymore. Deep down, she knew she could figure this out on her own. She didn't need to pay attention to anything else, not her past, nothing but where she was now in the present.

Opening it, she turned a few pages in until she got to the last one he wrote on. The page was full, but it wasn't the starting point, so she went back. Surprise had overtaken her when she saw that it was almost three pages long. Geeze, why did he need this much space?

As she read, it followed - her attentiveness to the surprise attacks were good, but she failed to properly counter all three of them. She made a smart decision trying to keep it a one on one battle by keeping the other opponents at a distance while defending those at close encounters. Her blocks were still dodgy, which was causing more harm to her body than what's originally intended, and her attacks were flawed because it always seemed to cost her an injury to make it happen.

She followed the sentences on and on until they had ended. At the bottom, there was a small paragraph that he attempted to jumble together so it would all fit on one page. It said - altogether, combative training results increased by 20%. She had made that much progress in such a short time? Was the training actually working? Not only that, amazingly, there were only a couple of insults this time and not a page full. With all this detail, he probably didn't have time or the space to write it. Did that mean he was seeing her as a potential hero now? Was Kirishima right, was he starting to warm up to her?

Akane quickly dismissed the idea. That couldn't be right. He didn't seem like the type to turn around so easily. These results weren't because of her anyways, only when he fought with the monster side, the side that she couldn't control. This so-called "progress", if it can be called, was a huge waste, a waste of training and a waste of notes. As much as she wanted it to be true, he was wrong. If only it was, then she would be one step closer to her dream, but she had to face reality. If a Pro had done what she did, everyone would consider them a villain and lock them up in Tartarus. With a sigh, she couldn't accept these lies.

She went to close the book, but stopped when a loose paper fell out the bottom. It was folded in half and was tucked away between the blank pages in the back. Was this for her? Or did she find something that personally belonged to Bakugo that he simply misplaced? It could be a sign from one of the villains again, leaving another note to spook her, but that seemed unlikely considering this was Bakugo's actual notebook. As if he would give the villain a chance to touch him or his stuff.

The more she stared at it, the more tantalizing it became. It would be an invasion of his privacy if the note was his and she ended up looking at it, but then again, he's the one who fucked up by lending her the book in the first place. With a shrug, her curiosity got the best of her and she unfolded it. It was Bakugo's handwriting.

We gotta talk about your quirk. I know what we should do now. Meet me out back behind the dorms tonight when you get out.

-B.

Bakugo glared at the elevator door, his patience wearing thin the longer he stared at it. Where was she? She had to have seen the message by now. He was pretty confident that Recovery Girl did what he asked and gave it to her. Then again, he did hide the message in the back and not with his notes. Shit, now that he thought about it, maybe he should have left it there instead. Maybe she didn't see it. If he knew or cared which dorm she was staying in, he would've gone up and talked to her by now, but he didn't know. After hearing Shitty-hair brag about his new friendship with her, he figured there was a good chance he knew where her room was. He had her number too, and could just text her to come down if he asked, but after the way he and Sero picked on him the other day, Bakugo decided against it.

He came down for dinner with everyone else and planned on talking to her right after, but he noticed that she didn't show up. Not that he cared about it before, but anyone who had to go see Recovery Girl for treatment ended up practically starving afterwards due to lack of energy from her quirk. Apparently, Hattori got back at the same time he was doing his arm reps in his room. He overheard this among the class chatter along with everyone's dumb assumption on what happened in his group. It was always what he/she said, no one ever bothered asking him about it, not that he actually gave a fuck. Hattori probably wouldn't want to be around this kind of energy anyways, if so, he couldn't blame her.

As he thought about it, he wanted to settle on the idea that she was too exhausted and decided to go straight to bed. For a while, he thought she was only trying to look hardcore and menacing with that strong quirk, but the way she looked at him and how she acted, there was definitely something else that had changed in her. It was almost as if the real her disappeared and was possessed by a primal entity. He couldn't believe or understand what caused her to power up so quickly. She never mentioned anything about that on the first day when they were discussing her quirk. Regardless, it was quite thrilling to say the least. With that kind of power, if she could channel it right, her stats would significantly go up.

Just one thing bothered him above it all, why would she want to hide that?

Bakugo didn't always pay attention to the words of those who tried to fight him, but the claim's Hatsumodo made lingered. There was no doubt that the guy was obsessed with her, especially if he was willing to go the extra mile and take someone like him on twice. Who was he to get in the way of what goes on between them? None of it had anything to do with him. Since this was the second time the fucker did this, Bakugo wouldn't be surprised if he had done it many times before. Just how is it that she didn't do something about it by now? That crap would've drove him crazy!

Despite that, the guy was worried about her. Over all that he said, one sentence stood out, that she felt incredibly guilty whenever she hurt someone with her quirk. Why did it matter anyways? Every once in a while, at least a couple of students get beat to a pulp every week. It was just another form of training, so how was that any different than that? Even if that was true, the idiot probably exaggerated the hell out of it just to make him look bad for provoking her. Unfortunately, that kind of treatment was something Bakugo was already used to. Either way, it didn't matter now. He wasn't going to get in the way of their training.

But where the hell is she?!