Hasrem's POV:
Fantastical desires huh?
How strange. How... surreal.
Why was it that I joined this faction in the first place? It was because of Quis. He seemed different. He may have done and does do some things that I disagree with, but he doesn't try to hide them from me. He never tried to say that he was the pinnacle of moral excellence. He is a messed up kid with a messed up past, but that only causes me to respect him further.
However, my question was if I respect him because of my own choices, or because of choices he might have led me into. It's hard for me to consider that as an option, but there are multiple examples of young people in history rising into power by making purposefully smart decisions, and I don't doubt that Quis could do that as well. But what even is being manipulated in the first place, and does it really matter as long as you feel like you're making the right decision anyway?
I didn't know. It was questions like those that heavily depended on the person themself. And, to be honest with myself, I've been feeling anything but myself recently.
During the midterms, when Quis killed the Devil at the end, I was close enough to see it as I was sent over to make sure that everything was alright and because I had a healing Fruit on me. I witnessed him killing the Devil, which was awesome in its own right, but immediately after that, I'm 90% sure I saw him make an attempt on Spiravit's life.
I feel as though if it were before, I'd say something about it, make it known. But... I said nothing. I acknowledged it and moved on. I wasn't sure at the time, but now I know why I did that. It was because I already knew that Quis' bottom line went below murder, even if only subconsciously... And I accepted this.
I looked down at my hands while those around me discussed their plans for the speech.
I felt my eyes begin to dull as I thought to myself, 'If it was only half a year ago, I would never tolerate killing of any kind... but now I find myself unaffected in the face of it. How long, I wonder, until these hands touch the blood of another human...'
I began pressing my hand in with my thumb of the other, 'But... why? Why did I change so dearly? I haven't had anything crazy happen to me unlike Capcis, Spiravit, or even Beulus. I've just been living my life, got convinced to join a new faction, and now I'm here. There's nothing that should have caused such a reaction, right?'
I felt lost; not sure which way to turn to. I wasn't sure what I was looking at was what it seemed to be when I first looked at it. Was I wearing a foggy lens, or was it my brain that was fogging? I couldn't tell. It was as if I'd just listened to music, and it started out nice, but then it changed into an intense genre, then back, then back again, and it switched so many times that now I'm not sure if what I'm listening to is even music, or if I'm even listening to anything in the first place. It was scary.
Now that I was where I was at, and I had time to reflect, I couldn't even be sure that who I am is who I am, or who I was is ever who I will be. I'm fearful because when I was who I was, I knew who I was and who I wanted to be, but now that I am who I am, and am who I never thought I would be, I can't tell if I am who I am nor do I know who I am in the first place, making the answer of who I want to be now even harder to answer. Without a vision of who I am, I can't tell who I want to be, and without knowing who I want to be, I can't picture a hint as to what actions I should take independent of the actions others command me to take.
I mustn't turn myself into a zombie that only follows orders, or else I'll never be who I can be. So I must figure out who I am, but I can't accept the fact that I am a psychopath who views murder as simply plucking the weeds because I don't feel as though I have a meaningful reason to have that outlook. But then again, does change have to come from what I think is right? Isn't change, change because it's unexpected. Can one truly change if they predict that change?
I don't know.
Suddenly, I took a deep breath. In, and, out. Again. In, and, out.
For now, I'll just be who I am. If thinking about this only ends in negativity, then there is no point in drowning myself in answerless questions. Eventually, I might just figure out who I am, truly. But that'll have to wait for then.
What was I even thinking about originally?...
That's right, fantastical desires! I was thinking about whether or not my involvement with Quis was just him taking advantage of my fantastical desires...
Suddenly, as I thought of that question again, I came to the realization.
... I see now.
I already got my answer.
____________________________________________
Quis' POV:
The sun was shining high in the sky, signaling a new day as I walked toward the L'Amour Family's main estate.
I was currently reflecting on my actions the previous night, 'Hmm, it was quite risky to implement that idea in their heads. If I'm not careful, then some might begin suspecting their current positions to be a result of manipulation... Maybe... but I should probably be fine. It's unlikely that these young people have the self-consciousness to realize my actions without extreme interference like in Spiravit's case. Though Beulus and the old man may be counted out of that prediction... I believe that what keeps them stuck to me is strong enough to resist. I'll just have to be on the lookout for changes in personality from those around me, and I already have a good idea of how to do just that... but it'll have to wait.'
I stopped in my tracks as I took a second to admire the building in front of me, or more realistically, the district. Towering over the surrounding walls were a couple of towers with hemisphere domes made of glass stacked on top of it and one that held a square pyramid hat instead. The front gate was hidden behind columns of marble that held up red-tiled roofs. Behind the gate, I could see visions of people walking to and fro over the artistically patterned stone floors. On the sides of the window that the gate gave me, I could see arcs of marble surrounded by more pillars leading inside the main building. And at the very end of the unroofed hallway, laid a statue of a man I didn't recognize.
I walked forward to the gate which was being guarded by two guards. I was draped in a hooded cloak so that no one could recognize me while I was walking over here, so when I neared them, their reaction wasn't unexpected, "Halt! Remove your hood and tell us your reason for being here."
I simply took off the rags covering me, revealing my recognizable figure to them. At this point, almost everyone had seen the footage of me killing the Devil as I made sure that Beulus spread the video all over the sect, so I was quite the celebrity now. When my true self was exposed to them, there was a moment of disbelief before they quickly straightened their posture and one of them hurriedly said, "I'm sorry for not recognizing you, hero of the sect. Just let my comrade go and contact the sect leader to see if we can let you in-"
"No, I'll be going in now."
My words were sudden like lightning, yet as natural as water, so it took a second for the guard to register them and even longer for him to reply, "U-uhm, I'm sorry sir, but, uh, that won't be possible." He said this as he scratched the back of his head, an obvious nervous tick.
I could just force my way in or something like that, but that wouldn't work well with my goal as of now, so I had to come up with a different method. It was imperative that I didn't let the sect leader know I was coming before I arrived, or else I'd lose the element of surprise.
I made a face of realization as I exclaimed, "Oh, I see, he mustn't have told you two yet. I suppose it was quite sudden and he probably has a lot on his plate, so it makes sense. You see, the sect leader sent a messenger to inform me that the sect leader was requesting my presence saying that it had something to do with the Devil. He also said time is of the essence. I just don't want you two to get in trouble for holding me up. I might be able to receive the temporary ire of the sect leader, but you two are aware of your situations, and I'm sure you also know it would be more difficult for you to maneuver out of it than me."
I simply twisted it so that it seemed like I was doing them a favor while also blamelessly threatening them, and it was effective, "... I see... well, I don't see any reason you would lie, and you are right. Being only a Stone Class guard can make things more difficult. Thanks for looking out for the both of us."
He reached to slide the gate open before the other guard grabbed his hand, "Wait, how can we be sure he's telling the truth? He has no evidence to back up anything he just said."
In response to this, the first guard said nonchalantly, "It's fine man. Think about it. Even if he is lying, it doesn't matter. He could just force himself in, but instead, he's showing us face by even trying to trick us. Though I doubt he is lying, even if he was, it wouldn't matter. So let's just let him go through."
With that, the other guard let go and allowed the first guard to continue. Soon enough the gate was wide open and I gave my thanks, donned my cloak again, and walked into the estate. I got a few looks every now and then, but since I was let into the building in the first place, people felt secure enough to not care.
The meaning behind this place was very interesting, especially with how it worked in tandem with the school. Normally, people would finish their year of school and then go to the L'Amour estate, whether they were a part of the family or not, and study more in-depth about their Branch while simultaneously accepting jobs like guard duty or Wild Beast extermination. That was why so many different people were here, despite the L'Amour Family's relatively low size.
Of course, like most things, this was only the surface-level reason behind this area's existence. It also served as a great way for members of the L'Amour Family to seduce specific targets into joining their family. It was similar to what Convir did with students except the sect leader was able to more accurately judge someone's worth. This was the reason why, besides the sect leader being Iron Class, the military of the L'Amour Family was so strong.
And to top this all off, they use a point system to easily determine the most worthy individual for their effort. It was quite simple. You'd get points for completing missions and also get them assigned to you when higher-ups deem it fit. This made it easy for the sect leader to garner quality along with quantity. However, when the sect was more united, it was used to hand out resources the the highest-ranking individuals and have them become stronger rather than trying to identify and then indoctrinate them.
Soon enough, with enough evasion of guards and by learning their surveillance patterns, I was able to figure out the correct time to strike. I quickly and silently ran through the highest point in another archway leading to a larger hallway with doors spread across it. The one I was interested in though was the one at the very end of the corridor. The sect leader's office.
I quickly ran until I was right next to the door, took off my cloak, fixed myself up so as to not show that I rushed here, and knocked on the door. It only took a moment for the door to open right up with an unfamiliar face, yet a well-known one exposing itself through the crack. I calmly said, "Hello Sect Leader, I would like an audience with you."
As I said this I observed his facial expression. He was curious as to why I was here, but it was also obvious that he was worrying over something quite intensely, and I had a good idea of what it could be. He got over his initial shock from my appearance and said, "Come right in."
It was from that moment that his fate was sealed.
Letting me into his room was like permitting a vampire to enter his home.
A very hungry vampire.
Powerstones and/or reviews are appreciated a whole bunch, so give a whole bunch and be appreciated!
Okay, well, this is an interesting chapter. It goes into Quis doing the alliance stuff, but I can't help feeling that the first part with Hasrem outshines it, both story and writing-wise. I really like the writing because it feels sort of there, but also sort of not, which I think gives a good feeling of what figuring out your identity feels like. Also, two daily chapters in a row; big Ws. I just hope I can keep the momentum going. It is a sort of late upload, but I still haven't slept yet, so I count it. That's about it.
Thank you.