Deeply Embedded

Yanjun woke up without knowing what had happened. All he saw was Yuze sitting beside him, reading his study notes. Yanjun adjusted his glasses and said, "How long was I out?"

"25 minutes." Yuze replied while wincing his eyes because his shoulder got numb. He moved a bit to get more circulation going.

"Sorry about your shoulders. " Yanjun looked embarrassed and looked away.

"No, not at all. My shoulder is alright. See?" Yuze moved his shoulder again, and it was much better than before. He looked at his phone and said, "I'll cook for you since my dad will come back around 8 PM. It won't take too long." Yuze went out and got ready to cook.

Yanjun navigated his wheelchair and came out of his bedroom. He saw Yuze preparing his meal, and he never expected someone who could help him cook. He secretly smiled and helped Yuze get the oil, vinegar, and soy sauce ready. Yuze wore the apron and started chopping the vegetables. About thirty minutes later, Yuze finished cooking dinner.

"You need to try these dishes. I made these at home before, and my mom used to love it." Yuze said as his smile slowly disappeared.

"What happened to your mom?" Yanjun replied.

"She passed away when I graduated from high school. That's why my father wanted me to become a doctor, because he wanted me to become more useful rather than spending time on the piano." Yuze replied, but he doesn't seem to care too much anymore.

Yanjun couldn't relate too much since his own parents abandoned him. He looked at Yuze and said, "Now, I understand why your father was being strict last time. But to be honest with you, if you study harder... you will become a doctor that your father can be proud of. You'll also be able to help people who suffer from the same condition as I do." Yanjun encouraged him.

That evening, after Yuze left, Yanjun couldn't stop thinking about him. He kept on reminding himself that he was a professor and that he shouldn't date his student. The memory of Yuze hugging him was already deeply embedded in his mind that it became more difficult to erase. Yanjun actually craved warmth rather than the superficial type of love. But he wanted a more meaningful relationship with a certain person.

At night, Yuze started texting Yanjun since Professor Lu gave his phone number to him as a way of contact. Yuze ended up falling asleep after texting since Yanjun was taking forever to reply. Yanjun was not a chatty person, thus he rarely text people. He will only text a person when he really had to, otherwise, he prefers calling or conversing with people face-to-face.

For the next few days, Yanjun allowed students to have a few hours of study session. Yuze was in his class trying to do some practice questions for chemistry while his biology will have to start a bit later. While students were studying, the class was silent with occasional book-flipping noises. Yanjun's eye shifted to Yuze then he felt his heart was racing. He shook it off and told himself to concentrate on other students as well.

After class, Yanjun continued to tutor Yuze in his apartment room. They enjoyed each other's company, and they also shared a few jokes as well. Yuze tried his best to study for biology since his exam will start in a few days. Yanjun prepared some practice questions for him as well. During their break time, Yanjun tried to grab some snacks from the counter when he dropped a ceramic bowl onto the floor. Yuze came out and saw Yanjun's left hand covering a wound in his right hand. He quickly got the first aid kit from the bathroom cupboard, then asked Yanjun to show his wound to him.

"Professor Lu, I'll help you clean the floor afterward. I need to bandage your hand first." Yuze carefully cleaned the wound, then bandaged them.

"Still in pain?" Yuze asked. Yanjun answered, "No, it's fine now, thank you." Yanjun had grown accustomed to concealing his hurt. Yuze looked at his favorite professor, then he felt hurt because Yanjun wasn't sharing what was on his mind. He nodded, then helped Yanjun cleaned up the floor then wheeled him beside the sofa.

"Professor Lu, can I ask you something?" Yuze asked him while they looked outside the window.

"Hm." Yanjun nodded without saying a word.

"Would you be able to share what's on your mind?" Yuze wanted to get to know Yanjun. Not only as a professor, but as his confidant. Yanjun clenched up his hand that his wound started bleeding through the bandage. His heart and mind were a mess since he bore all of his pain inside of him.

"I'm sorry, Yuze. I'm kind of tired now. Please leave." Yanjun remained aloof, as his heart closed up again. Yuze felt his heart being stabbed by multiple of daggers, but he still respected his professor's decision.

"Professor Lu, whenever you want to talk to me, I'm here to listen. Thank you for tutoring me all this time. I'll study hard and make you proud." Yuze packed up his things, then looked at Yanjun at a distance. He felt like there was a thick wall between him and Yanjun. Yuze wanted him to open up his mind and heart. He sighed as he closed the front door without saying goodbye to Yanjun.

Yanjun closed his eyes, and he didn't know why a tear dropped. He wiped it away as he wheeled himself to his bedroom. That night, Yanjun felt a dark cloud looming over him. Even though he needed someone, he didn't want to burden anyone. He wasn't ready to share his story with anyone, including Yuze. Yanjun slowly closed his eyes as he slept until the morning. Yuze thought about what happened last night and he will wait until Professor Lu was ready. Little did they know, they are already deeply embedded in each other's mind.