Gloom

Sometimes, Lucinda's depressing home life got to her. Especially, when the power's been off for awhile and it was still a few days before her mother got that desperate check needed to restore it. Lucinda's stamina to maintain a happy public face when her private life was so miserable would wear thin. She it bothered her to keep up a false facade just so nobody would know what she was through at home. It went against the grain of her moral being. As a result, Lucinda would take days off from being fake for the sake of keeping what's left of her family together.

The day after Lucinda's report was just such a day. When Lucinda was like this, she didn't want to go to school, didn't want to take care of her own personal habits, didn't want even get out of bed. Lucinda had absolutely no desire to see or speak with anyone from the outside world. All she wished was to forget this day existed from the moment she woke up until the next day had arrived. She wanted to avoid today. To do that she would have to stay home from school.

It was easy for Lucinda to get a day off from school. Insert a pitiful tone in her voice, pretend to cough, and her mother will believe her. Most of the time, Lucinda didn't even have to fake a cough. It never even occurred to Cheryl that her daughter might just be playing ill just to get out of school. Lucinda's mother never once realized, even when, upon returning home from work, later that Lucinda was up, walking around, and acting perfectly fine. Perhaps Cheryl Rayne, knew the misery of things was getting to Lucinda and that's why she gave in without any argument whenever Lucinda would make up having a cold.

"Lucinda, it's time to get up." Cheryl called from the front room where she was putting on her shoes, about to head out.

Lucinda responded back in her loudest, most weak voice. "Mom, I don't want to go to school. I'm sick."

Cheryl nodded to herself. "Fine, I'll call the school from work to let them know you wouldn't be coming today. Also, I got in touch with the power company. I've paid our bill and they should be turning our lights back on sometime today."

Lucinda laid where she was in bed. Remaining silent until her mother went off to work. Despite hearing the good news that the electric was to be restored, Lucinda's mood still wasn't elevated. She just wanted her mother to be gone so she could go back to sleep.

Cheryl stepped into the doorway of Lucinda's room. "Feel better. Love you." Cheryl said her goodbyes to her daughter, then went off to work.

After Cheryl had left, Lucinda went to sleep. Not being a morning person, by any means, Lucinda slept in as often as she could. Whether it was a weekend or successful scam to earn herself a free day from school, Lucinda would not usually be seen out of bed any time before noon.

When Lucinda did wake up, it was 1PM in the afternoon. First thing she did was do her usual necessary. Sitting in the dark of the bathroom, Lucinda heard a whoosh go through the apartment, followed by a beep coming from the microwave. That was the sound of power coming back to the apartment. Lucinda breathed a sigh of relief, finished what she was doing, and as if not believing that a veil of normalcy had descended upon the home. Lucinda went over to the wall switch flicking it. Immediately, the room was bathed in brilliance. Lucinda saw the light. She smiled to herself for the light was good. Lucinda turned off the light in the bathroom, exiting.

Lucinda raided the kitchen cupboards looking for anything that could be heated up in the microwave or on the stove. It had been so long since she had a hot meal cooked at home, she felt as though she might have forgotten what it was like. Lucinda found some canned spaghetti with meatballs. Putting her soon-to-be hot lunch in a bowl, Lucinda opened the microwave and put it in. After pushing the buttons to start it cooking, Lucinda watched her food turn, feeling happy and satisfied for a long time. "Why can't it be this way all the time?" Lucinda muttered to herself aloud. When the microwave finished, Lucinda grabbed a spoon and a hot pad, retrieved her food, then went into the living room to watch some TV.

There are times where a thing can appear enticing and desirable only because we don't have it. Like wanting a shiny, new, toy that is sitting on a shelf in a store. However, once we have the object of our wish, it loses all interest, immediately becoming boring.

Lucinda wanted a day off school, because, to her, it seemed thrilling, but once she had it, the free time felt flat. Sleeping have the day away, sacking out in front of the TV, none of these things were very exciting. The only purpose it seemed to have was an apathetic, short-lived, immediate, self-gratification for Lucinda.

Lucinda, sat in front of the TV watching whatever she wanted. Numbing her brain with a fictional reality, because the actual reality was too painful for her to accept. The young girl seemed to not have a care in the world. Sadly though, eventually, life would rear it's ugly head, tearing Lucinda out of the dream she wished she could have into the nightmare that was the real world. Lucinda was losing herself, withdrawing deep inside, to avoid the pain of her reality.

Lucinda watched TV the rest of the day, until her mother came home. The moment the door closed, indicating that her mother had returned from work, Lucinda became aware of her actual surroundings, instantly, feeling guilty for deceiving her mother, just so she could indulge her escapist delusions, for awhile. Lucinda did the best she could at hiding the shame she felt from her face, before going to greet Cheryl.

Cheryl appeared cheerful, enough, acting as if nothing was wrong. She was happy to see her daughter up, walking around. "How are you feeling?" Cheryl inquired. "Did you have a good day?"

Lucinda nodded. "Yeah. I think I just needed some rest. I slept most of the day. The power came on, right when I woke up. So, I had myself some lunch, then sat, and watched TV the rest of the day."

Cheryl smiled. "Good. I'm glad you are eating. Was there anything good on TV?"

Lucinda, thinking about what she did all day, replied. "Not really. I, mostly, just watched cartoons."

Cheryl, glancing at the TV. "That's nice. Are you ready to go back to school, tomorrow?"

Lucinda frowned. "I'll try."

"Do you have any homework you have to do before tomorrow?" Cheryl asked.

Lucinda shook her head. "I've completed all the assignments that I knew needed to be done, yesterday. I won't have more until I talk to my teachers to collect my make up work, tomorrow."

Cheryl listened, intently. "Okay. I wish I could help you with your work, but I was never any good in school when I was there, myself." She paused for a moment, looking around the apartment. "Hey, since we've got the power back on, let's celebrate. Dinner and shopping, on me."

Lucinda felt nervous at that last statement. In her mind, Lucinda thought. They had just got their power turned on, and her mother wanted to go shopping and blow some more money on useless things they didn't need or couldn't afford?! Lucinda bit back what she really wanted to say, instead she responded meekly. "Sure." Lucinda went to go get herself ready to go out with Cheryl.

It was late by the time they returned, so as Lucinda went to the bathroom to enjoy a hot bath before bed, Cheryl put their new purchases away. Cheryl had gotten herself some new uniform tops while Lucinda had her ears freshly pierced, along with a new coat. Winter was coming.