4

  When you first came to consciousness, you heard voices. You tried to open your eyes, but your body currently wasn't responding to you. So you listened.

"Is she going to wake up?" That was Dean.

"She will, but her collision caused three bones in her back to shatter, and we had to replace them with metal." You didn't know that voice, but you wondered who he was talking about.

"God, this is all my fault." You wanted desperately to argue with Dean about that, but you couldn't speak.

"She will have to wear a back brace for a few weeks, and the only time she can take it off is to shower. Other than that, it stays on." Wait, was he talking about you?

"Dean, why don't Dr. Karlyn and I go talk in the hall and give you some time to relax?" That was Sam.

You heard footsteps, and then the sound of a door closing. You felt someone grab your hand, instantly making it feel like it were on fire. Dean.

"Hey, y/n. I just want you to know this is all my fault and I'm so sorry. I should've been watching like you told me to. I-" You couldn't take it anymore, gathering all your strength, you uttered one word.

"Stop."

"Y/n? Are you awake?" Dean asked. You pryed open your eyes, instantly being blinded by the lights. Squinting, you looked at Dean.

"Don't say it's your fault. Please don't think that. None of us could have known." You rasped.

At that moment Dean brought you a glass of water, and you gratefully downed it. You tried to sit up, but trying to put your weight on your weak arms caused you to fall onto the bed again.

Dean helped you up, adjusting your pillow so you could sit comfortably. You lifted your gown up to your upped abdomen and looked at the back brace. It was navy blue, and the clips to take it off ran from the top of it to the bottom on the front. It made your back straight, which made it look like you had really good posture.

You let your gown fall down, and looked up at Dean. He was looking guiltily at where the brace had just been shown.

"Dean." You started.

"Y/n, I really am sorry. I just have to hurt everyone I care about!" He exclaimed, running his hands through his hair.

"You.. Care about me?" You asked, scolding yourself for getting your hopes up. 

"Yeah, you're like a sister." Dean said, his back to you.

"Oh." Your head hung low, tears blurring your vision. Of course he felt that way. With your walls, you were unlovable.

"You can just go. I'm fine, I can take care of myself. You and Sam probably have stuff to do." You said, tears splattering onto the hospital blanket.

"What? Y/n, no."

"Dean, I get that you think it's your fault. But you got me to the hospital, made sure I was okay. You can go. I'll be fine." You argued, looking up.

He was looking at the tears streaming down your face, and you quickly wiped them away.

"I can't leave, I need to protect you." The sincerity in his voice made your heart pound. You laughed a humorless laugh.

"Dean, I don't need your protection. Look where that got me the first time." You gestured to yourself and the hospital room.

His face filled with a hurt look, and he looked down.

"Just go." Your voice was shaking and your knuckles were white from clutching the blanket.

"Is that really what you want? Look me in the eyes and tell me to go." He came closer, your faces inches apart. You stared into those forest green eyes, and you almost gave in. Then you remembered his words, 'You're like a sister.'

"Go." You whispered, not breaking eye contact. Dean jerked back as if you had hit him, and your lip trembled at his expression. He looked like a puppy that had just been kicked.

He clenched his jaw before turning and storming out the door. You let your mask go, and you fell apart. Your face fell into your hands, and you sobbed.

"Y/n?"

You looked up to see Sam standing by your bed, looking at you with concern.

"Hey Sam. Sorry." You said, wiping your face. "What's up?"

"I just came to say goodbye. Dean said we're leaving." Sam explained.

"Oh. Well I just want to thank you for everything, you were kinda like an older brother." You said, flashing a smile that didn't reach your eyes.

"Thanks. Here's my number if anything happens or if you just wanna talk." Sam said, placing a folded paper on the blanket. You nodded.

He gave you a soft hug and a smile before walking out the door.

You stared at the closed door until a nurse came in.

"Oh sweetie, you need to lay down. It looks like you've been crying, is everything okay?" She asked, helping you lay back down.

"Yeah, my back just hurts. That's it." You lied, clutching Sam's paper in your hand.

"Well, that'll go away over time. I'll get you some medicine, then you need to sleep." She said in her sweet voice.

"Thank you." You whispered, placing your hand on hers. She smiled at you, before pulling away. Before she left, she turned off the lights and softly closed the door.

You looked up at the ceiling, tears slowly slipping down your cheeks.

You lost the man you loved. Again.

You closed your eyes, hoping sleep would take over. But, fate wasn't on your side. A certain pair of green eyes were haunting you, and you started to cry again.

"You know, I knew you were bold. But pushing the love of your life away, that's borderline crazy." You looked around the room, trying to match the voice to a face, but you couldn't see anyone.

"Who's there? What do you want?" You asked.

"Calm down sweetheart, the name's Gabriel. And I have a plan."