Chapter 32 - Dilemma of Freedom

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Itachi stared at the bright full moon while sitting on the branches of a tree, his thoughts a mystery to anyone, if they were watching, and even himself.

It has been over two weeks since he joined the Gotei 13 2nd Division and like what he had expected, the feeling of loss never left.

It was easy to forget when he was always on the move during his journey from the Rukongai 69th District but after settling down in one place for the longest time since his death, the feeling slowly started creeping back and now all he could do was leave it there to permeate as he knew not what to do with it.

Sure he was back in a military organization like his former village, that was a placating thought, but it still felt different. Maybe it was because there was no tension between the Shinigamis and other opposing powers or maybe because a special group of people weren't planning to plunge the world in a dreamscape, but there was something that was missing from the Soul Society in contrast to the Elemental Nations.

"Your mind," He heard Tsukuyomi's voice in his head, something that rarely happened unless he was the one wishing to talk to it. "It illuminates a fading hue. How lost can you be under this peaceful moonlit night, Itachi?"

"By the sage if I know that myself." He replied. For some reason, the moon seemed a lot less bright after his reply.

Maybe it was his expectations of the afterlife that left him this lost as the eternal torment of the shameful-yet-hopeful reunion he thought would be his due was nowhere to be found.

Having lived his life as a mission since his time in the academy at a tender age of 6 to his death at a young premature age of 21, facing the probability of living eternally in such an afterlife, maybe it isn't such a surprising thing that he feels blindly adrift in a sea of unknowns.

He died when his life was just starting and now here he was, a free and unknown man, having nowhere to go and nothing to do. Possessing drive but lacking purpose.

"Even under its illuminating light, why do I feel so lost? Why are my paths not visible under its shine? Why Tsukuyomi?" He said it dryly, not because he was masking his innermost thoughts but because that was the only way he could say it.

Cry? Why would he?

The two times he remembered crying felt so far, so foreign – the moments of his greatest regrets.

Here in the afterlife, away from everything that made him Itachi of the Leaf, he was no longer the talented Itachi, he was no longer the Uchiha prodigy, not the most loyal ninja his village has ever seen, not the leader of his clan, not the eyes of Lord Third, not the shadow protector of the Hidden Leaf Village.

Here he was just Itachi. A strong reincarnated soul in the afterlife.

He who was molded to be the perfect tool, having finally found himself free could only find himself staring blankly with no idea what to do with it.

"You don't have a purpose, Itachi? Let it come to you. There is no shame in remaining clueless for awhile. You who have never been a person of the heart, always foregoing your own desires for duty, with such a choice of freedom presented, will no doubt fail to find it."

As a being that was part of his soul, even during his time as a ninja, Tsukuyomi understood exactly what it was that left Itachi so hollow. They were one and the same after all.

Itachi sat straight on the tree branch with his legs freely swinging behind him while his hands hung out towards the moon as if he wanted to feel it in his hands.

"My desires huh?" He couldn't even laugh freely at the irony of his situation. All he ever desired was lost, dead, and the last one till alive in the Elemental Nations, yet only now did his desire matter.

What did he desire? Family? Truth? Peace?

"I'll try, Tsukuyomi. All I ask is be patient with him when I fail." He said.

"Will you fail? Make your choices, and we'll make sure to stick with you all the way." Tsukuyomi gave his final reply as his presence receded back into the depths of the illusory world.

Taking a last look at the moon, Itachi made a silent promise to himself before jumping off the branch.

…..

The next morning, garbed in standard Shinigami attire, Itachi walked through the roads of the 2nd Division as he headed to Yoruichi's office along with a few other Shinigamis who were heeding the Captain's call.

They were led to the back of Yoruichi's office where they all stood straight in sharp lines before the languidly reclining Captain.

Itachi was a bit thankful to Yoruichi as actions these past few weeks were nothing short of consideration, mostly leaving him to his own devices or having short private conversations with him. Mostly trying to get him to open up or having Soi Fon clear up a few of his questions and having her show him around.

"Since you all are aware of the recent Hollow activities springing up in the Rukongai, I want to inform you that you all will be working overtime from now on with the Divisions you find yourself aiding. From henceforth, whenever in the field you are required to maintain hourly check signals between cells. Any cell that fails to do so on time without the excuse of being in combat will face extreme discipline corrections."

Despite the relaxedness in her posture and voice, the intent she carried made every single Shinigami too tense to even let out a flinch.

While he hadn't been an active member of the Division since he joined due to Yoruichi's discretion. She couldn't just put him in a cell squad when she knew his abilities and style could potentially disrupt his teammates and even suppress their efficiency.

"Soi Fon will notify you of the date of your departure and members of your group. Dismissed." The Shinigamis cleared out of her backyard except for Itachi who she directed her gaze at to stay. "Honestly, there's no way I'm grouping you with anyone, except maybe Soi Fon, mostly because of your abilities."

"I'll still need a guide since I'm clueless about the Rukongai." Itachi replied.

Hearing his reply, Yoruichi smiled and sat up a little straighter. "Oh? You are ready to go back to the field? I admit I want you around me to run errands rather than in the field since I can't burden my dear Soi Fon for everything."

"Carrying out your orders is not a burden, Lady Yoruichi!" Soi Fon, who had been silently standing behind Yoruichi, spoke up seriously. How could serving her Lady be considered a burden?

"I have no objections either way." Itachi said. After another thinking session the previous night, and thanks to Tsukuyomi, Itachi realized that he could ease himself back into it.

"About the Hollows, is this a reoccurring thing?" He couldn't help but ask.

The two women fell silent, with Soi Fon looking genuinely curious while Yoruichi tapped her chin, humming a soft tune to herself.

"Honestly, I have no idea. It's not as if there's rhyme or reason to most of their actions. But something like this is very rare, first time I've seen it like this. All they do is hunt souls to eat; Hollow, Shinigami and everything in between. Got an idea what is going on?"

Itachi shook his head. "I don't know that much about the Shinigamis to establish a behavioral pattern or give an educated opinion but I think it's easy to tell that there's a cause behind it. Not a spontaneous occurrence like some might think. Maybe something might have happened in the dimension they reside in."

"We've been monitoring Hollow activities in Hueco Mundo and so far nothing weird is happening over there." Yoruichi said offhandedly while standing up. "Soi Fon will probably be your guide for this mission."

"As well as my supervisor and examiner." Itachi helped her complete the words she left unsaid but she shrugged uncaringly.

"You understand so no need to point it out." She said, her voice fading as she walked farther away before disappearing in a blur.

Itachi turned to Soi Fon who felt a bit uncomfortable under his calm look. "When do we leave?"

She let out an awkward cough and replied a little anxiously than she would've liked if she had paid a little attention to how she acted when he spoke.

"Yes, um, I'd rather we leave today. It's mostly investigations we'll be carrying out so we are likely to spend up to a week on the field."

Itachi nodded and turned around to leave, giving his remark as he faded away. "Let me know when you're ready."

Seeing how he left, Soi Fon looked disgruntled, not understanding why her Yoruichi-sama would want to put up with someone like Itachi whose eyes looked like he didn't put anyone in them.

"Oh right. She went after him because of me."