More real than a dream
I think I'm an addict. I can't stay without Alexander for too long. I haven't even realised when I started feeling this attracted to him.
And I'm not the problem!
I've considered the matter thoroughly. And I've found out that there is only one man in the whole world that makes me feel like this. It's his fault, not mine.
However, he didn't start being handsome all of a sudden. I was too busy, and later frightened, to notice, but he's always been like this. Even though his relaxed shoulders are more attractive than the tense behaviour of the capital.
From when we arrived in the north, it's as if Alexander's mask fell, revealing his emotions to the people around him. He often smiles to people that aren't me, which was not very frequent at the court. He lowers his guard, from time to time, and he also leaves some work behind schedule.
The latter one is usually because of me, though.