7. I tried to kill myself

Ah, my head hurts. I must have fallen asleep. Oh no! Did I oversleep? I'll be late!

Instantly, I flip my eyelids open and lift myself to a sitting position. However, the force in which I bolt up causes a sharp painful headache to seize me, forcing me to pause for a moment with my hands on my head. And with the harsh headache comes the memories of yesterday.

"Ah, that's true. I've been kicked out." I scoff as I remember. "And cheated, and cheated on, and ripped, and what else?"

"Your forgot divorced." says a male voice.

"Ah, that's true I was divorced too." I nod to myself. To think my entire family were liars and cheaters. To think they were all—

Wait a minute, who said that? I turn my head to the direction where the voice had come from and flinch in shock as I see a person sitting down on a chair just two feet away from me.

A man.

And I'm just now noticing that this is not my room. And from the looks of it, judging by the bed, and it's entire setting, I can tell I am not just in any room, I'm in a hospital room.

So, I'm in a hospital room, wearing an oversized hospital patient gown, the ticking sound of the clock on the wall is getting louder and louder as I'm slowly and silently starting to panic.

"W_what am I, I mean how did I—" The words have barely left my mouth when my head plays everything in rewind for me. And the more I remember the more my mouth and eyes open wide.

I had entered a bar called Haven's and then I had drank something instead of water!!! And, I… I I—

"I jumped in front of a moving truck!!!" I scream as I finally remember every single detail. My hands are suddenly shaking and I can feel a cold in my bones.

How could you do that?! How?!! Are you mad?! Why would you jump in front of a truck?

"Indeed, crazy thing to do." I hear that voice again. It's that man. I turn and stare at him. "How are you feeling now?" He's asking.

That's right, I remember him too.

The handsome bartender who was also the one I thought to be prince charming in my state of madness.

That's right, he's the one who saved my life.

…

"Everything is in order. Other than the small cuts and bruises on her leg, elbow and head, she's perfectly fine." The doctor says.

"Thank you." says the bartender slash stranger as the doctor and nurse walk out of the room, leaving just the two of us again.

Now he's staring at me. H_he's seriously staring at me. I turn my head to the window on the side to avoid his gaze but I can still feel it following me.

I'm supposed to say something, right? Since I'm the one who jumped in front of a moving truck. Oh dear Lord!!! Why did you allow me to drink?! God you should have stopped me one way or another!

I'm supposed to say something now, but I can't even lift my head to look at him. There's just something unnerving about looking into those gray eyes.

But I can't continue this silence like this. I mean, the least I can say is thank you. Maybe if I show my appreciation he will leave, because I don't know why he's still here!

"Uhm," I clear my throat to speak. "A_about yesterday…" go on Champagne, you can do this. Try and look at him as you speak. "I was—"

"You should never touch alcohol again." I flinch as his voice suddenly sounds close to me. Finally I muster up the courage to stare at him. He's standing right next to my bedside.

When did he get so close?

"The truth is, I usually don't drink. Something happened yesterday so—"

"Ah, yes. Your whole family betrayed you. From your grandfather to your husband. Every single person."

"How do you know that?" I've already asked the question before the whole incident replays in my head one more time. I spilled it all to him last night.

"Were they worth trying to kill yourself for though?" The question comes out of nowhere. It's so sudden that I'm too stunned to speak. I'm just staring at him blankly.

"I_ I_" I don't know what to say. I didn't mean to kill myself, but then when I think about it… People say alcohol brings out the innermost desires and characters of a person.

What if deep down, I really wanted to die?