33. Chapter 33

Erin let out a shuddering sigh before allowing her body to drop limply onto Jay's naked chest. She took several deep breaths, the movement of her own chest in unison with his. Erin felt Jay's hand sweep her damp hair to the side, before his fingers trailed down her bare back languidly. She could feel the rapid beat of Jay's heart start to slow to a steadier pace, even as her own breathing returned to normal.

She felt Jay take another deep breath before his deep voice murmured a drawn out, "Merrrry Chrisssstmas to meee."

Erin lifted her cheek from his chest and allowed him a sleepy smile, "It definitely felt pretty merry didn't it."

He grinned at her before gripping her waist lightly and pulling her up his body a bit to press his lips against hers. "Very merry." His lips applied enough pressure to almost reignite the passion that had just been satisfied moments earlier. Erin felt her heart pick back up a beat as his mouth moved across her cheek to brush along her ear. She could feel the heat of his breath as he brushed light kisses along the rim of her ear. "You really like them?" he asked.

Erin met his soft eyes, "Of course. They're beautiful." She gave him another kiss on the lips, while one hand reaching up to gently run along the edge of one of the cuff earrings Jay had given her an hour earlier. It had been a beautiful gift. She sighed happily and lay her head back on his chest, her thoughts drifting to remember their private Christmas celebration.

After an emotional day at Hank's, it had been a relief to finally be back home. They had sat on the couch with only the Christmas tree lights on and exchanged their gifts to one another. Erin had given Jay a watch she knew he had coveted all year. His eyes had lit up as he explained all the features that he loved about it. He had gifted her with the beautiful earrings that now adorned her ears. A difficult day had ended with romance and passion and it couldn't have been more perfect.

Except there had a been a moment.

A brief moment, when she had unwrapped the gold paper from the small box Jay had handed her, to see a dark velvet box that had made her heart stop. She'd flashbacked to six months earlier when he had last presented her a similar offering that had sent her into a panic that had almost ended their entire relationship. When she'd opened the box with slightly shaky hands, she hadn't known if it was sadness or relief that was stronger in her heart when she saw the diamond cuff earrings nestled against the black velvet. She had smiled appreciatively, and allowed Jay put the diamond earrings on her. They'd made love right on the couch under the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree.

It had been perfect, but there had been that tiny thought lingering in the back of her head. What if it had been the ring? Erin knew she loved Jay, and she wanted to spend forever with him, but was now the right time? Apparently, Jay didn't think it was the right time, as the box had contained earrings instead of a ring, but it still was on Erin's mind. Had he thought about it? Was it still part of his current plan? Were they ready for that step? What was the next step in their relationship? Was it like they were starting over, or just picking back up where they had left off. Had they been together for years, or just a few weeks? It felt like no time had passed to Erin, but did Jay feel the same?

Jay's hand had continued to gently stroke her back while her mind drifted. "You okay?" he murmured, "You kind of got quiet there for a moment."

Erin folded her hands on Jay's chest and propped her chin on them before looking up at Jay with a soft smile, "I was just thinking about a present I want you to give me."

Jay cocked an eyebrow questioningly, "That's not how it is supposed to work. You don't get to ask for a present. You get what you get and say thank you." He ruffled her hair playfully before tapping on the earrings gently.

Erin smirked at him, "Pretty sure I thanked you out on the couch and then again in here." She wiggled suggestively against him, "Pretty sure you were appreciative of my thanks, too."

He rolled his eyes at her, but she could see the laughter, "Well, yeah, I appreciated your enthusiastic thanks. In fact, you can thank me that way anytime." Jay's face grew serious just a bit, and she could see some worry in his eyes. "Did you want something else though? I mean… I know you aren't a big jewelry person, but I know you like earrings…" His voice trailed off as his forehead crinkled in concern.

Erin reach a hand out to press a finger against his lips, "No! I love them. I …love you. I just also had another gift that I wanted to get from you... or give to you, I guess." She furrowed her brow, "I mean, it's for both of us, but not really a gift. Although it'd be a great present if you agree-"

"Erin!" Jay interrupted, brushing aside her finger, "What are you rambling about?"

Erin hesitated now, second guessing her first instincts. She knew what she wanted, but were they on the same page? "I want…I…" She looked up at his questioning eyes, then looked away. "I…I wanted… um..."

"Erin? What's wrong? What's on your mind?" Jay reached out and caressed her cheek, "You know you can talk to me about anything."

"I want you to move in with me," she blurted out. She looked at him with wide and hopeful eyes. Maybe they weren't ready to put a ring on it, but Erin wanted him here with her every day.

"Oh!" was Jay's startled reply. He pulled back slightly in shock. His mouth dropping open in surprise.

Since she was still half laying on top of him, she could feel the sudden stiffness in his body as her words sank in. Tension filled his body, and she saw doubt and uncertainty all over his face. Regret for her impulsive request, she rolled off him, grabbing a blanket off the edge of the bed and standing to wrap herself in it. Taking his hesitation as dissent, she took a deep breath, and started to turn away from him.

"Wait, wait, wait..." Jay lunged across the bed to grab her arm. He firmly pulled her back towards the bed, continuing to pull until she was forced to climb back on the bed. He sat up, resting his back against the headboard, and grabbed a sheet to cover himself.

Erin somewhat reluctantly settled next to him cross-legged. She refused to meet his eyes as she felt too vulnerable. She couldn't believe she had just blurted that out. She did want Jay to move in. She had planned on suggesting it to him in the New Year, but after everything they had gone through, she had felt like she didn't want to spend another minute apart. It wasn't because she had thought for a moment he was going to propose. It had nothing to do with that, she told herself.

He reached out and tipped her chin up, so that her eyes met his. "You can't drop that on me then run away. You have to give me a chance to at least answer you."

Erin narrowed her eyes at him, "Your body's instinctive reaction said enough, trust me."

Jay shook his head a bit, shaking off her comment. "In my defense, I was just laying here enjoying the afterglow of having great Christmas sex with my girlfriend. My body's response time could justifiably be off." He smiled warmly at her, trying to tease her a bit to lighten the now serious mood in the room.

"Jay," Erin shook her head a bit, "It's okay if you don't want to move in. I mean, I want you to, but I understand if you aren't not ready. We've only been back together a few weeks."

Jay made a tsking sound with his voice, "Uh, Uh. No, that's not it." He reached out and ran his hand along her cheek before dropping his hand to rest on top of where her hand lay. "As far as I am concerned, we have been involved for almost four years. It's not about it being too soon for us," He paused briefly before squeezing her hand, "but I do worry that it's too soon for you." Erin could see concern on his face once more.

"What do you mean, too soon for me?" Erin asked, confused.

Jay opened his mouth to speak, before shutting it and shaking his head, "Don't get mad, but I'm just worried that you want to replace Daniel with me. He just left, and now you want me to move in. Are you sure it's what you really want and not just you not wanting to be alone?"

Realization dawned on Erin, and she tried to look at things from Jay's perspective. Yes, she was still sad about saying good-bye to Daniel. Her heart hurt, just thinking about it. She felt better about the situation after spending the day with Olive, Hank, and Daniel, but she couldn't deny how much she was going to miss that little boy. Jay did make losing Daniel better, but Jay also made her feel so many other things as well. He made her feel safe, excited, loved, nervous. He made her want to make him happy. He made her want to be a better person. He made her think about a future, a family, a life. He wasn't a replacement for her nephew, his place in her heart was completely different.

"I want you." Erin answered him. "I want you here with me because I love you. Every day I love you, and so I don't want to spend any days without you." She leaned toward him and cupped his face in her hands. She brushed a soft kiss across his mouth and whispered against his lips. "We lost so much time already, I don't want to waste another second."

As she pulled back away, she could still see a bit of hesitancy in his eyes, she fought back the sadness in her heart. She had known it would be a hard journey back to where they had been. They had both hurt each other so much over the last few months. Maybe it was too soon. "It's okay if you aren't ready. I'm happy with things the way they are, too. Let's just table it for a future conversation." She pulled back a bit, trying not to let Jay see her hurt.

"Uh, uh." Jay placed both his hands on her thighs, preventing her from scooting back. "No take backs." His usual grin had reappeared on his face.

Erin smirked at his look, "No, seriously. It's no big deal. Now. Later. We'll get there when we are both ready."

Jay smacked his lips and pressed his hands more firmly on her thighs, "Are you done? Can I answer you yet?" Erin could feel the heat from his hands passing though the thin blanket to her bare legs. His fingers massaged her legs, and Erin could feel herself getting distracted from their movement. She shook off her thoughts and refocused on her attention on him. Noting, his eyes, too, were on where his thumbs stroked on her inner thighs.

"Um, Jay." She prompted.

"Uhh…yeah…" His eyes were hooded slightly as thumbs inched up on her leg. He glanced back up. "Oh, yeah. My answer." Instead of answering her, he tightened his grip and lifted her up dragged her on top of him to straddle his waist. Erin squealed as she lost her hold on the blanket and it ended up tangled around her legs. "Hmmm…nice." Jay was distracted once again as her breasts and bare belly were revealed. His hands left her thighs to roam and caress the exposed skin. He pulled her down for a hard kiss while his hands slid around her butt to press her onto him firmly. He let out a groan of appreciation as her bare chest brushed against his.

Erin was so lost in his kisses that she forgot he had never really answered her. Jay flipped her onto her back and pressed himself firmly against her, kicking the blankets and sheets out of the way until there was nothing but heat between them. Their kisses became more and more intense and frantic. He shifted and she could feel him at her entrance, then he stopped. Erin arched up against him wanting to feel him inside her. Jay broke off their kiss and whispered into to her ear, "Say it again."

"What?" Erin was lost in passion and didn't understand what Jay was asking. She pushed against his back, trying to get him to move where she wanted.

He pressed against her most sensitive spot, but still didn't give her exactly what she wanted, "Ask me again." He whispered. Jay pulled up a bit, and Erin looked up at him with desired filled eyes, and was startled by the sheer love she saw shining in his eyes. "Ask me again, Erin." He repeated, dipping down and pressing a hot kiss against her neck.

Realization finally dawned on her, and Erin smiled with both love and desire. "Will you move in with me, Jay." She smiled in anticipation.

A grin broke out on Jay's face, and she felt him slowly breech her entrance, "Oh, yeah. I'm in. I'm all in."

"You're so cheesy." She muttered, and she shook her head at his double-entendre, even as she groaned with relief as she felt Jay finally fill her. He was so corny, but god how she loved him…and what he did to her body. She felt the rumble of his laughter against her body, even as he began a rhythm that took all rational thought from her head and only allowed her to think of him, her, and their pleasure. As they each raced their way to their release, they were happy and content with life and with each other.

AUTHOR NOTE: Well that's it for Christmas. I have New Years Eve planned and then if might be the end unless a new story idea pops into my head. Hope you enjoy this belated Christmas present. I can't do full on smut, but tried to tease enough of what I'm comfortable writing. Enjoy!