26. Chapter 26

Erin knew resistance was futile. The crowd surged forward, and they had little recourse but to allow it to move them with its flow. She looked over her shoulder to see Jay behind her, but a family of four had somehow gotten between them as they had exited the escalator. She gestured at the sign two stores down and started to make her way through the throng of people toward their destination. Jay must have found a way around the family because suddenly he was at her elbow, guiding her almost forcibly to the right and to the vitamin store that was their destination. A few shoppers tossed them dirty looks as they crossed against oncoming traffic, but Erin just ignored them. Finally, they reached the glass window of the health store.

"Remember that riot at the concert last spring. This. Is. Scarier." Pressed against the glass to avoid being trampled, Erin looked back at the crowded mall.

Jay laughed, "Well, it's a week before Christmas, Erin. It's crunch-time. All these last-minute shoppers are desperate to find what they need." He tossed her a curious look, "You finish all your shopping?"

Erin gave a dubious look at Jay and then the crowd, "Not a bit. Everyone's getting gift cards this year. I've been way too busy for any shopping this holiday."

It was true, too. While November had been surprisingly slow, December had been filled with case on top of case. As soon as Thanksgiving had passed, they had been loaded down with high-profile cases and this week was no different. It was a Saturday morning, and they had been chasing their current case since the wee hours of Friday morning. Yesterday had been full of vetting the victim's family members to no avail. As soon as they had gotten in Saturday morning, they'd found out that the victim had made twenty-two phone calls to the vitamin store at the mall in the last week. With no clear connection to the store, the team had drawn straws to see who was faced with heading to the mall the weekend before Christmas. Jay and Erin had lost, much to the delight of the rest of the team.

Turning, Erin casually looked through the store window. While most of the stores were filled with dozens of people and long lines, apparently, vitamins and protein powder were not high on most people's Santa's lists. Inside there were two employees visible and just three customers. A young girl about twenty was behind the register, ringing up a customer. A male employee, that Erin estimated to be in his early thirties, was helping a middle-aged couple standing by a display.

"So, who do you think we should hit up first?" Erin asked Jay.

Jay gave a discreet look into the store, then turned away, as to not make their observations too obvious. "Well, if the connection is personal, I'd say hit up the girl. He had a girlfriend, but that doesn't mean he didn't have something on the side that no one has clued us into to." He let his gaze drift back to the male employee. "If this location is one of his connections to business, then that guy might be our man."

Their victim was 24-year-old Paul Bissen, son of a city council member. While he had a clean record, his family and friends had all admitted he had been acting strangely in recent weeks. His sudden frequent calling to this location had made it their only viable lead at the moment.

"How about you go and talk to the girl, and I'll distract the guy with some questions." Erin suggested. As much as she hated it, she figured Jay might have some luck with the cute young employee. Once he flashed that smile, most women, young and old, let down their guard. She gave Jay a quick smile, "Maybe I'll ask him for some help buying your Christmas present?"

Jay smirked at her, his eyes full of humor, "Oh, you're buying me protein powder for Christmas? I might need to reconsider what I got you."

Erin narrowed her eyes playfully, "I was thinking there had to be some sort of pill in there to help give you a personality."

Jay rolled his eyes at her, "Hey! I'm hilarious."

"Maybe he has something that will burst a swollen ego." Erin thought out loud.

"Whatever," Jay relented before walking in ahead of Erin, playfully elbowing her in the arm as he passed her.

Erin waited a beat before following him into the store. She meandered toward where the male employee was, while Jay got in line behind the customer checking out.

Erin watched him under her lowered eyelashes while she pretended to study a vitamin bottle. Things had been so weirdly uneventful between them the last three weeks since Thanksgiving. The holiday weekend had been filled with so many ups and downs, that it had almost been a relief to settle back into the routine of work. It had felt pretty normal, working side by side all day and all night at times. They'd laughed together, worked crime scenes, solved cases, and filled out paperwork for hours. Their partnership was great and their friendship was solid. Except it was absolutely driving Erin bonkers.

Jay was acting like her best friend. Which was great and was true, but their relationship was definitely missing something. There was no kissing or touching. There was no lingering looks from Jay or flirty comments. There was just jokes and laughter. They hung out after hours a few times, but only with the rest of the team as chaperones at Molly's.

Erin knew that Jay was working on giving her the space she hadn't even wanted, but she was over it. Three weeks of being "just friends," just wasn't cutting it for her anymore. She felt like they were on pause and she was ready to hit play and get their relationship going. Except, she wasn't sure if Jay was actually ready. While he had proposed the "space" idea with Erin's needs in mind, Erin knew that it was more about Jay than her. Yes, her life had been filled with huge changes in the last few months, but she felt she saw everything with clarity now. Jay, on the other hand, seemed content with their friendship right now. He smiled warmly at her and did thoughtful little things, but he seemed satisfied with keeping her at arm's length.

It wasn't like Erin hadn't tried. She'd offered up catching a hockey game on her tv one night. Another day she had mentioned she was cooking dinner. Each time he had politely declined her invitations. "I don't want to confuse things," he quietly replied after the third invite a few days ago. They had just finished work and it was after dinnertime. Her plan had been to pick up Daniel and some Chinese for dinner. She had suggested he join them, and hadn't been truly surprised when he'd said no.

Despite his predicable refusal, Erin had looked at him frustrated, "I'm not confused, Jay." She shut her locker door with a little more force than was necessary. "I just wanted to spend time with you."

Jay just shrugged at her, "We just finished a ten-hour shift together."

Erin threw up her hands at his comment. "You know that's not what I mean."

Jay looked at her with those clear blue eyes. She could read him easily just by looking into his eyes. While Erin's heart and mind was clear, she could see confusion and uncertainty in his. Erin wasn't sure what she could do to erase that look in his eyes. His voice was low, and she could tell he didn't want to fight or argue with her. "I have plans to meet up with Will later. Maybe we can hang out this weekend." He weakly offered.

Erin had agreed and tried to push the disappoint from her face. Somehow she just knew that the weekend wouldn't happen. Sure enough, they'd caught this case, and their current weekend plans involved questioning vitamin store employees over a connection to their victim.

Erin noted that Jay had struck up a conversation with the girl at the counter. At first she had been all smiles with him, but suddenly she let out a gasp, "Not Paulie!" She let out a loud cry, and she collapsed against the counter. Looks like the connection was personal.

The male employee abandoned his sale and headed toward the register to find out what the commotion was. Erin stepped in from of him flashing her badge. "Let's talk."

Thirty minutes later, they were headed out of the store, leaving young Leslie McVey crying on the shoulder of her boss. While they still didn't have a clear suspect, they had confirmed that Paul Bissen had been cheating on his long-term girlfriend. Jay wanted to re-interview the girlfriend to find out if she really didn't know about the affair.

Pausing at the exit, Erin sniffed the air. "Hmmm…I smell Cinnabon. Want to split one?"

Jay looked at her dubiously, "You mean, we agree to split one, but you pretty much eat the entire thing?"

"Yep!" Erin said with a grin, pushing Jay into the flow of people moving passed the store. They only had to move about four stores before they saw the line of people at the food counter. Erin groaned. "This is going to take forever." She complained as they got in the long line that stretched to the toy store next door.

Jay just nodded distractedly. Erin saw that his attention was on the storefront next to the bakery. In the window was an elaborate train set. Several kids were playing with the interactive display.

"Nostalgic for your youth?" Erin questioned.

"What? No." Jay quickly replied, pulling out of his daydream. "I was just thinking that Daniel might like something like that."

Erin looked at it doubtfully. "It's kind of fancy. That would take up half my living room floor." Daniel did like watching the old-fashioned Thomas the train videos that she had found on Netflix. She just didn't know if she was down with such a complicated gift.

Jay corrected her, "Well, it's not all one set. You buy starter kits, and then there are all these different add-ons that you can purchase: bridges, connectors, depots, turntables, and more. You just have to decide if you want to go with the plastic tracks or the wooden series because those aren't interchangeable."

Open-mouthed, Erin looked at him in surprise, "I cannot believe that it took almost four years for me to find out that you are a train nerd."

Jay threw her a dirty look, "I am not a train nerd. I was just thinking about Christmas the other night, and thought it would make a nice gift for Daniel. I just did some research is all."

Erin laughed at Jay getting defensive over his train knowledge. ""It is a nice idea. Did you have a train set as a kid?"

Shaking his head, Jay looked back at the train set in the window. Their line had moved forward, and they only could see the tail end of it. Erin thought she saw a bit of wistfulness in his glance, "No. We had a little Christmas train that was set up under the Christmas tree, but we weren't allowed to play with it."

Erin wasn't quite sure what to make of that information. Jay was pretty closed mouth when talking about his relationship with his parents as kids. He told tons of stories of his mischief with his brother and crazy school antics, but he was generally closed off when it came to family matters. She knew his mom's death had been hard on him, and that his dad hadn't been there for the family. After four years, she still knew very little about his childhood. She didn't like to pry though. She felt he would share when he wanted. It was kind of like her younger years. Jay knew enough, but she really wasn't too into sharing the time in her life she had worked so hard to forget.

"Well, you are going to be setting up the track if you buy Daniel one. I've always sucked at putting together stuff like that." Erin commented matter of fact. She had been trying to think of a few toys to buy for Daniel. If Jay was going to buy him a track, maybe Erin could buy a few trains to go with it.

"Yeah?" Jay said with excitement. "You wouldn't mind?" Erin loved the way his eyes lit up at her agreement.

"Of course not! Daniel would be thrilled." She bit her lip cautiously as he thought about her next words. "He misses you. He got pretty attached over Thanksgiving. He talks about Jay-Jay-Jay all the time."

"Hmmm…" Jay didn't say anything more, just looked the other way, out at the crush of people passing them while they stood in line.

"He'd like to see you, Jay." She sighed softly, "I know we are giving each other space, but it doesn't mean you can't hang out and visit Daniel."

Jay kept his attention on the crowd for another minute, and Erin lowered her eyes in disappointment. If he didn't want to spend time with her, she thought at least he'd be willing to put some time in with Daniel. Finally, he spoke quietly, "Yeah, I miss… him, too." Something in the way he said the words, made her think that he wasn't just talking about Daniel. It might had been wishful thinking, but his averted eyes made her think that he missed her as well.

Erin was tired of waiting for Jay to agree to spend some time together off the clock, "Listen. I usually don't do the whole Christmas tree thing, but I decided I was going to do it this year since I have Daniel. Today was going to be my first chance to go and get one. As long as we get out of work at a reasonable hour, how about you come with us to pick one out?" She could see the indecision in his face. "It will be so much easier getting it up to my apartment with some help. Otherwise, I am just going to have to get Hank or Atwater to come by and help, or pay for one of those delivery services." She gave him a hopeful smile. "I'd rather it be you."

There was still some hesitancy in his voice, but he gave her a tentative nod, "Sure. That sounds fun. If this case doesn't get going."

Erin kept the excitement that she felt in her stomach pushed down. She felt like it was a huge success to get Jay to agree to a little non-work-related socializing. Even though she had used Daniel as guilt trip, she only felt partially remorseful. It had been three weeks! It was time to show Jay that she was ready for their future.

…

"Is he warm enough?" Jay questioned looking down at Daniel who clutched Erin's gloved hand.

"Yes, Jay. I made sure he has enough layers on." Erin teased. Jay had been filled with nothing but worry over Daniel since they'd met up at her apartment. Jay had insisted he drive, since he had ropes and tie downs in his car to secure the tree to the roof. Erin hadn't even thought about that, and she tried to imagine how she would have gotten a tree to her apartment if she hadn't invited Jay to tag along. It was only after he asked if Daniel was warm enough for the third time, that Erin realized this was his first excursion with a kid. Besides the one road trip to the Voight household, all their time together had been at either Erin's apartment or Jay's. She could see Jay's paranoia, and she remembered the first few times she had taken Daniel out alone. She had been full of worry and stress as well.

"It's just that its windy and freezing out here." Jay continued to lament as they headed from where they parked to the corner tree lot they had located a few blocks from Erin's place.

Erin glanced down at Daniel who was stumbling along. He hated being held and carted around everywhere lately, so she had gotten used to just holding his hand tightly and dragging or being dragged wherever they went. While he wasn't always steady in on his feet and he tended to tire quickly, the boy could move fast when he had a destination in his sight. This time it was he who was dragging her as Daniel had caught sight of the bright lights of the tree lot. Christmas had no real meaning to him, as he had been too young last year to do more than lay and look at the lights. This year, he had expressed excitement and wonder at all the colorful window displays and decorations that they saw everywhere they went. Mrs. Deante had a large tree at her house, and seeing Daniel's excitement over it had been the determining factor for today's excursion.

"Does he look cold?" Erin asked Jay.

Jay surveyed Daniel's appearance and had to admit that he looked well covered. He had a new winter coat and clunky snow boots. Even though it wasn't actually snowing today, there were still plenty of snow piles in the corners of the parking lots from the snow storm last week. The wind chill was biting cold, but jay had to admit Daniel looked well insulated. "Okay, he doesn't look cold. I just don't want him to get sick."

Erin smiled at him, "Then help me pick a perfect tree quickly, and we can get out of here."

Choosing the right tree was easier said than done. Erin had never chosen a tree for herself before. When she had stayed at Hank's, it was always something he took care of himself. Once she had been out on her own, it just seemed like too much of an effort for just a decoration. Erin wasn't even sure why she had decided on a real tree. Nowadays, most people just got the plastic fake trees and then put them away in a box when the season was up. For some reason, once the idea of a Christmas tree had taken hold in Erin's mind, she had been adamant about wanting the whole experience. Traipsing out to the lot, choosing the perfect tree, dragging it home. She couldn't wait for the smell of pine to fill her apartment.

Only problem was none of the trees seemed just right. Some were too thin, some too thick. A few had bald spots. Erin wasn't sure how tall to get either. Jay had suggested about 4 feet, but Erin wanted something a little taller if possible.

"Okay, Er. How about this one?" Jay pointed out another tree. He was now carrying Daniel who had given up his excitement over the excursion two trees ago. Jay eyeballed the tree. "It's about 6 feet tall. It's pretty rounded. I don't see any thin areas." He looked at her hopefully.

Erin circled the tree critically. "It's a good height." She glanced quickly at Jay. It's not too fat, is it? I want to put in in the corner behind the kitchen table."

Jay surveyed it, and he shook his head regretfully, "No, I don't think it will fit, but…what if you put it in front of your balcony window. It's not like you will be going out there over the next month."

Erin tried to imagine the new location in her head, "It might work." She did another lap around the tree pausing on the back side. "This isn't too big of a hole back here?"

Jay popped his head around the tree and groaned in frustration, "Erin! That's going to be facing the window. Nobody will see it!"

With all the eye of a beauty pageant judge, Erin continued to look for flaws in her tree. "Are you sure it is good enough?"

Rolling his eyes for the tenth time, Jay shrugged his shoulders at the tree. "This tree is fine. The last tree was fine, and the tree before that was good, too. They all have been great trees."

Alarm filled Erin's eyes, and she swung her head into the sea of trees. "You thought that the one a few ago was better than this one?"

Jay dropped his head back and looked to the sky. Based on his clear level of annoyance, Erin could only assume he was asking for forgiveness before he killed her. "Erin! It's not about the perfect tree. It's about the celebration and tradition. The decorating and the festiveness of it all. Nobody will notice anything." He gave her one last look, "But if you don't make a decision soon, Daniel and I are going to go wait in the car!"

She threw Jay a dirty look, but she had to agree. She never noticed the flaws in any trees she looked at. She just ooohed and aaahed about the decorations and lights that adorned them. Erin walked to stand by Jay and looked up at Daniel, "What do you think? Is this a good tree?"

Daniel lifted his head from where it rested on Jay's chest He smiled and yelled. "Tree! TREE!"

Jay grinned at her. "I think he likes this one."

Erin leaned in and rubbed her cold nose against Daniel's. "I agree. I like the TREE!"

Jay cheered loudly, with Daniel mimicking him loudly., Erin just rolled her eyes. "Hey, it's my first tree guys. I just wanted it to be perfect." She smiled at the two of them, laughing a bit at their silliness.

An elderly couple passing by stopped at the noise and smiled at Daniel who was clapping his hands as Jay held him. The older woman looked fondly at the little boy. "Oh, he's just so cute. He looks just like my grandbaby. How old is he?"

Erin looked over at the woman. "Um, he's about eighteen months." It still unnerved her that strangers would stop on the street and talk to you just because you had a baby. It happened all the time. In line at the grocery store, taking a walk. It was so weird, but she was starting to get used to it.

"Well, it looks like your family picked a perfect tree." She gave a look up and down the tree in front of them. The she refocused her attention on Daniel, "Your Mommy and Daddy did a good job little boy. Merry Christmas!" She gave them all one more smile, before moving on.

Erin saw a look of surprise freeze on Jay's face. His eyes following the elderly couple as they walked away. "I'm not his-" he lamely began to call out after them, before realizing that it didn't matter, and that the couple had already moved on.

"It happens all the time," Erin quickly responded. She pulled Daniel from Jay's arms. "It's no big deal. I just ignore it. I mean, what's the point of correcting a stranger?"

Jay stood still, just kind of staring off into the distance. "Yeah, I guess so." He finally quietly responded.

"Okay. I'm cold, Jay. Go get someone to come get our tree. I will stay here and stand guard so nobody steals our perfect tree."

Jay gave a distracted nod, before turning around. Erin watched Jay disappear into the crowd and let out a huge breath. She could see how uncomfortable the lady's comment had made Jay. She hoped he didn't get too weird about it. It really was no big deal. Daniel didn't understand what the lady was saying. He was too young to understand the concepts of mother and father. All he knew and needed to know was that Erin, Jay, Hank, and everyone else who knew him, all loved him and wanted to take care of him. Olive would be back soon, and she would take over that parental role in his life.

Olive. It was weird knowing where she was compared to the month before when they'd had no idea where she'd been hiding out. Voight had found a connection at the clinic, and they were able to keep loose tabs on Olive. Mainly they just knew she was still there. It gave Erin hope. The fact that she had lasted three weeks meant that she was probably over the worst of it. Erin didn't know how regularly Olive had been getting high, or what exactly she had been using, but the first few weeks of detox were the worst. Erin thought it was more important that Olive was hopefully talking with somebody to work through her grief. For Erin that had been the hardest part. At times, she even wondered if she had worked through it all. First Nadia and the Justin. It just seemed like grief was a permanent part of her life. Jay had been the only thing that had helped get her through it all.

Soon enough, Jay returned with a tree guy. After paying, the man and Jay strapped the thing to the top of Jay's car while Erin and Daniel gave unsolicited advice. Jay's mood seemed to have shifted, and he was quiet throughout the car ride home. He'd dragged the thing up the stairs at her apartment and then set it up in the tree stand she had bought. While he was politely responding to Erin's comments and questions, Erin could tell the comment from earlier was on his mind. He was clearly distracted and had lost a bit of his playful cheer.

Erin put on some Christmas music and dragged out a few shopping bags full of ornaments and lights. "I stopped by the store on my way home from work and grabbed as much as I could. Hopefully it's enough." She pulled out box after box of decorations.

Despite his morose demeanor, Jay laughed, "What did you do? Buy out the whole Christmas section?"

Erin sat cross legged on the couch and started opening the boxes. "Well, I didn't have anything. I wanted to make sure and have enough to fill the tree!"

"Well, you could have just gotten a smaller tree." Jay replied eyeing the near six-foot-tall tree.

Erin was defensive. "I like my tree." Although Erin had to admit now that it was inside her apartment, she probably could have gotten away with a much smaller tree. Fortunately her apartment had high ceilings. Erin passed Jay a roll of twinkle lights.

"How many of these did you get?" Jay asked her, peeking over her shoulder at the boxes.

"Umm," Erin looked around her. "I got three boxes of lights." She saw Jay make a face. "Is that not enough?"

Jay glanced at the tree and did some quick calculations. "As long as we just do the front and sides we will be fine. We won't have enough to wrap completely around the tree."

Erin was disappointed. "Well, I guess that's not that big of deal." It only took a few more minutes for them to connect all the strands of lights and wind them in a zigzag pattern on the tree. Finally, they were done.

"Do you want to put the ornaments on next, or plug it in?"

Erin clapped her hands together. "Plug it in! I can't wait to see it." She scooped Daniel up into her arms. He'd been sitting on the floor next to the tree watching their decorating attempts quite curiously. "Look Daniel. It's going to light up." She pressed his head close to hers as they stood near the tree waiting in anticipation.

"Okay. 1, 2, 3!" Jay called out from his place on the floor behind the tree. He plugged in the main cord and the room filled with the beautiful glow of lights. Jay stood up from his place behind the tree. He walked over to the wall and flipped off the light switch, causing the lit tree to be the only source of light.

Erin and Daniel were both staring up at the tree with delight and wonder. Jay came and stood next to them. She looked up at him in joy, "It's perfect. It's exactly how I imagined it."

His eyes were soft and glowing in the warm light of the tree as Jay smiled down at her. "Perfection." He quietly spoke his eyes fixated on hers. Erin's heart stuck in her throat as his handsome face was reflected in the light. Her eyes traced the curve of lips, the edge of his jaw, the line of his brow. She loved him so much. Here with him and Daniel by her side was all she needed. It was everything she had ever secretly wanted. A family and home of her own. She thought briefly of her Christmases past and a few tears found their way into her eyes.

Jay's eyes were instantly concerned. "Hey, why the tears?" He brushed a few stray drops that had made their way to her eyelashes, before winding one of his hands through the waves of hair that brushed her shoulder.

Erin looked down at Daniel's smiling face and then back at Jay's. "I'm just happy." She said. It was true, too. Her heart was strong and her mind clear. She was happy, in love, and felt safe for the first time in her life.

She saw Jay take in a steadying breath. His eyes were so serious as he looked down at her. They were so close, and Erin just needed that connection. Despite Daniel being held in her arms, she leaned toward Jay and her lips sought out his.

They touched lightly at first. Lips brushing gently in the lightest of caresses. She felt him suck in a breath, as she increased the pressure ever so slightly. Even with the brief contact, Erin's heart picked up speed. Flickers of need filled her immediately, knowing they couldn't get carried away, Erin reluctantly pulled back. Her breathing was already unsteady, and she could see from the look in Jay's eyes that he was feeling it, too.

Daniel took that moment to let out a squeal as he lunged for the tree. Erin pulled him back just in time before his chubby hands grasped a light bulb. "Whoa, there." When she turned back around, Jay had already moved across the room and turned the main lights back on. He was steadfastly avoiding her eyes, and he had moved over to the couch, to start opening ornament boxes.

Erin licked her lip, and she could still taste him on her lips. The touch may have been brief, but her passion for him had definitely been ignited. They needed to talk. Enough time had passed, and there should be nothing stopping them from being together. They both clearly wanted it. She needed Jay to understand that she was in. All in. Whatever the future brought them, she wanted to face it with Jay by her side.

"I think I'll go put Daniel to bed." Erin said. Jay looked up at her in surprise. Erin thought maybe he didn't want to be alone. Well, tough. She wanted to be alone with Jay.

"Night, buddy." Jay called out, as he brought ornaments over to the tree and began hanging them up.

Erin moved to the bedroom and began getting Daniel ready for bed. As much as she tried to hurry, kids didn't care about that. She changed his clothes, read him a book, then got him settled in his crib. When she came back around the corner, she was surprised to see that Jay had almost finished putting up the ornaments. She was a little disappointed, but then even more saddened, when she saw Jay standing in the middle of the room with his jacket already on.

"I left you a few boxes to put up, but I got most of them on there." He stumbled out, his eyes not meeting hers.

Erin took a few steps toward him, laying her hand on his arm, "I was hoping you would stay for a while. I thought we could talk."

Jay looked at her then, and she could tell he had no intention of staying. "I really think I should just go." He made a half-hearted glance at his watch, but since it was only a little after nine, he really couldn't justify saying that it was getting late.

Erin felt a wave of desperation. She looked up at him with her brow creased in concern. "Is this about that lady at the tree lot, and what she said? Was it the kiss? Is it me?" Her voice was filled with anxiety. She just couldn't handle him walking away again. Not after tonight. The moment they had shared by the light of the tree had been so perfect. He was everything she needed and wanted and just couldn't take this separation any longer.

She could see conflicted emotions flitting across his face. She reached up and gently caressed his cheek with her hand. Her voice was huskier than normal. "Please, stay. Please." She knew she was begging, but at this point, she was willing to throw her pride out the window.

"I… I can't, Erin." He shook his head, and took a few steps back. He hurriedly spoke. "I'll see you tomorrow, or, uh, Monday." Quickly he turned and practically ran out of her apartment.

Then, Erin was alone. She let out a deep exhaustive breath. It took every fiber of her being not to just chase him down and smack him on his head. Why was he so skittish? It was like he was a school boy with a crush and he was afraid to make the first move. Except Erin kept making moves, and while he couldn't resist an initial response, he was clearly not wanting anything more. It had been three freakin' weeks! How much longer was this waiting game going to be? Three weeks ago, he had promised he'd wait forever for her. Was he going to make her wait forever for him ? She wanted to kiss him, hold him. She wanted to talk to him. Not about work, their friends, or Daniel. She wanted to talk about them, their future, how important he was to her!

Erin couldn't help but think that maybe there was a part of Jay that just couldn't get passed all the hurt of before. Was he holding back because part of his heart couldn't forgive her for all those months ago. Would her initial rejection of his proposal still just be the barrier that kept them apart forever? Erin dropped her head in frustration. It couldn't be. This couldn't be the end for them. She just knew that they were it. They were forever.

Erin turned away from the door and walked back over to the tree. She reached out and ran her fingers along the edge of one golden ornament. Her tree looked beautiful, but instead of the joy it brought her earlier, right now she felt nothing but loneliness and sadness. Erin was contemplating even finishing putting on the final decorations, or just waiting until tomorrow. She'd lost all excitement and motivation for the holiday.

Suddenly her front door burst open, and Erin spun around in alarm. She saw Jay strutting quickly across her living room. As soon as he got close, he grabbed her tightly and without warning crashed his lips against hers hard. Erin was so stunned; it took a moment for her to register that Jay was kissing her. Once her mind caught up with what was going on, she eagerly wrapped her arms around him and held him tight.

Jays lips were like magic as he teased her lips open. His tongue diving into the depths of her mouth stroking and teasing in a perfect rhythm. One of his hands held the back of her head pressing her firmly to his mouth. The other hand slid down her back pulling her tight against his body. Erin allowed herself to melt against him, and lose herself in his embrace. Her own hands roamed freely along his arms and shoulders, trying to find something to grasp to hold herself up. Finally, out of breath, Jay broke contact against her lips, and pressed his forehead against hers, panting heavily.

"I'm sorry, Erin. I'm so sorry. I just, I just…" He pulled back a bit and ran his hands through her hair, tilting her head up to his, and dipping back down to recapture her lips softly. Unable to keep it gentle, his lips immediately increased their pressure. Suddenly he broke it off and pushed her slightly away, taking a step back. "I'm sorry. I know I was trying to give you time, give you space, and I'm here and…" His breathing was ragged as his eyes frantically sought her forgiveness.

"Jay! Stop it!" Erin erased the distance between them, and reached up to grasp his shoulders. "I don't want space. I don't want time. I just want you." She lifted up on her toes and pressed her lips against his. Lips melded together in the perfect way that they had since the first time they had ever kissed. His soft lips dancing against hers in nipping and teasing motions until Erin groaned in breathless frustration. Jay's hands reached down and grasped the bottom of her sweater, and yanked it up. Erin lifted her arms and allowed Jay to pull the garment off. As soon as it was free, their lips met again. Jay's attention to her lips only lasted a few moments before he released them to journey down to her neck, pressing hot mouthed kisses along the sensitive pulse behind her ear. Erin lost her breath as she released herself to the feelings that Jay's touch aroused in her.

Her own hands moved under Jay's jacket and up his shirt, and she felt him suck in his own breath as her hands skimmed his rib cage and slipped into the waistband of his jeans. She used her grasp to pull him closer. Jay reached for her at that action and pulled her up against him hard. He bent to lift her by her hips, forcing her to wrap her legs around him. He started walking her backwards toward her bedroom, before awareness suddenly took over Erin.

"Wait! Wait! Wait, Jay." She called out, and he halted immediately, dropped her legs, so she slipped against him to the floor.

"I'm sorry." He immediately said. "I didn't mean to rush you. I was just caught up in the-"

Erin laughed and cut him off by placing her fingers lightly against his mouth, "No, it's not me. It's Daniel. He's asleep in my bedroom. His cribs in there." She ran her hands over his chest lightly, "Don't think what we have in mind would be appropriate for the toddler crowd."

Jay looked stunned for a minute, "I totally blanked on that." He laughed lightly. "Shit! How do parents ever have a second kid."

"Well, if I had known there was a possibility of this night actually ending this way, I would have moved his crib out here or to the spare room." Erin said with a grin. She bit her lip and leaned forward, allowing her hands to trail a path up his chest and around his neck to tease the short hairs at his neck. "You know, there's no reason we have to be in the bedroom." She tilted her head toward the couch.

Jay's eyes followed her gaze, "Uh, no. I'm not ravishing you on your couch."

Erin pressed her body against his seductively. "Come on. I am dying for you to ravish me." She smiled at his words. "It wouldn't be the first time we made good use of my couch." Her mind recalling a special reconnection that they had on that very couch the day she bought it.

Jay shook his head, "Yeah, but we didn't have a sleeping kid in the other room." He tried to put a little space between them, but Erin was having none of it. She'd waited long enough to have Jay in her arms, she wasn't going to be put off easily. She kept her hands firmly on his body no releasing the connection.

"Yeah, a sleeping baby. I'm sure we can keep it quiet enough not to wake him." She took one fingernail and ran it along the shell of his ear, scraping gently in what she knew to be one of his sensitive areas.

Jay narrowed his eyes at her, and leaned in, his lips diving down to her own ear. His hot breath causing a shiver to spread throughout her body, a burning heat low in her belly started to spread, as he left a trail of kisses along her ear. His voice was low and hot, "Maybe, with what I want to do to you, you won't be able to stay quiet." With one last nip at her ear, Jay pulled back a satisfied grin on his face.

Erin licked her lips and smiled up at him, shaking her head slightly. "You're a tease."

"Not teasing. It's a promise." Jay replied confidently.

They locked eyes for a moment before Erin relented. "I'm moving that crib out of my bedroom in the morning. Better yet, Daniel can have a sleepover at Grandpa's tomorrow night."

Jay laughed lightly. "I like that idea. I mean, I love the guy, but I think we deserve an unrestricted reunion." He reached down and grabbed her sweater from where they'd tossed it onto the floor.

Erin's mind raced as images of what that "unrestricted reunion" might entail. Her heart beat an unsteady pace just thinking about it. Her arms shook slightly as she slipped her sweater back on.

"So…" Jay leaned forward and pressed a brief kiss to Erin's forehead. "I should probably still go then."

Erin frowned and wrapped her arms around him, "Nooo." She whined. "You can still stay the night. We can just sleep."

Jay grinned, but shook his head. "There is no way after the last ten minutes that I can lay next to you in bed and just sleep."

Erin tried to negotiate, "Well, how about you stay and we can talk a bit. I still think there's a lot we need to discuss." Her eyes grew serious for a second. "I know that there's a lot I want to tell you."

Jay looked deep into her eyes, "Yeah, there's a lot I want talk to you about, too." His hands skimmed her shoulders and arms, before grasping her hands in his. He wound his fingers through her and brought them to his lips, kissing them gently. "How about, you go ahead and have Voight watch Daniel tomorrow. I'll take you out on a nice dinner date. We can enjoy each other's company, talk, eat, and then maybe see how the night ends."

Erin nodded slightly, looking up at him with happiness in her eyes. A date. It sounded so ridiculous, but it was something they actually didn't do that often. They'd been friends for so long and then being partners at work. Most of their time together was just spent hanging out and enjoying each other's company. It just wasn't often that they planned a romantic night out.

Jay released one of her hands, and turned, walking slowly toward the door, leading Erin to follow behind him. When he got to the door, he opened it, and then turned to face her. His free hand reaching up and softly caressing her cheek, his thumb brushing against her lips.

"I thought if I distanced myself from you a bit, all these intense feelings that I have might ease up a little and give me some clarity about what the future holds for us. I thought that when you were ready for us to…to…reconnect, I'd have a clear plan to lay out in front of you. A future that might satisfy us both. I don't know if I have any answers, Erin."

Erin smiled softly, his explanation finally giving her some insight into him keeping her at arm's length. "We don't need all the answers, Jay. We just have to be willing to be open minded and talk about what we both want."

Worry crossed Jay's face. "I know, but I promised you I'd be willing to wait. Now, I'm here and I'm kissing you and asking you out."

Erin sprang forward and lay a hot, smacking kiss on his mouth. "There. Now, I am the one kissing you." She laughed at his reaction. She placed one more light kiss on his lips before placing both hands on his chest and lightly pushed him through the open door. He took a few stumbling steps backwards, but the grin on his face told her all she needed to know.

He smiled and turned to leave, "Good night, Erin." He called out taking a few steps down the hall.

Erin hung on the edge of the door, watching the man she loved walk away. Confidence in him and their relationship filled her. "Hey, Jay." She called out, and he turned around expectantly, eyebrows raised questioningly. "I love you." She plainly stated, before shutting the door between them, smiling at the open-mouthed look of shock on his face.

Author's Note: Happy reading! Love to all my faithful readers and reviewers.