Chapter 12: I'll Take Care of You l

-- TUESDAY, JANUARY 3, 2006, WINTER BREAK --

A stray beam of sunlight woke me up in the morning. So much had been going on last night, I must not have been very careful about shutting the curtains all the way. There was about an inch of space between the two curtain halves, and at this very time on this very date, the sunlight came through at just the right angle to hit the very spot where the covers didn't completely cover my head.

I found myself in a familiar position, spooned around the love of my life with one arm beneath her pillow and the other arm wrapped around her torso. But for once I didn't hold her breast in my palm, and for once I didn't have a morning erection.

How could I? My dreams last night were NOT about sex.

They'd been about babies. Lots of babies. Little blonde babies. Little brunette babies. And one very prominent redhead. For some weird reason, I'd dreamt that April Jacobsen was my daughter. I vividly remembered taking the little girl to daycare, having her reach up with those short, stubby arms to hug me goodbye, only to have her clutch my neck and refuse to let go because she didn't want me to go to work. Eventually, one of the staff came over to assist me, and I handed over my squalling toddler. She bawled and reached for me, pleading for me not to leave her even though I knew for a fact that thirty seconds after I was gone she'd calm right down and settle in to play with her friends. But that would be thirty seconds after I was gone. Right now, all I could see was squirming, despondent baby who desperately wanted her Daddy. How could I leave her? It was for the best, sure, but how could I truly look at that adorable face contorted in agony at my impending departure and still walk away?

DJ was still asleep beside me, her face tight from nightmares of her own. I stroked her back soothingly, and then pulled the blanket a little further up her shoulder to make sure the sunbeam wouldn't hit her face if the sun shifted in that direction. She seemed to relax, and I whispered softly in her ear, "I love you." Hopefully the warmth in my voice would bounce around her subconscious in such a way that helped bring her some peace.

She needed it. My fiancée had gone through a riot of emotions last night, trapped between what she wanted to do, what seemed the most practical, and what she thought she was supposed to do. None of those concepts were very concrete, either: the two options of 'keeping the baby' or 'aborting the baby' took turns being what she wanted, what was most practical, or what she was supposed to do, depending on where we were in the conversation.

Mom, Dad, and the twins were downstairs watching a movie and willfully being ignorant of (A) me and Adrienne having sex and (B) whatever conversation Brooke and DJ were having, which may or may not have included sex. The point is: they stayed downstairs and we stayed in Brooke's bedroom trying to work things out.

DJ obviously wanted to know what I, the father, wanted to do. I told her for about three minutes that I would support whatever DJ wanted to do before she convinced me that she KNEW that, but that she wanted to know what I wanted to do even if it meant disagreeing with her. I told her the truth: I wanted the baby.

DJ was skeptical. After all, wasn't the male supposed to be relieved if his girlfriend didn't want to keep the baby? Especially a 21-year-old male? Not that I was an ordinary 21-year-old male. Most guys my age still wanted to explore, to be free, and to have experiences they hadn't gotten to have yet. Me? Been there, done that. Done "her", at least a whole bunch of "hers" more than was probably my fair share. I didn't need to sow any more oats. I was ready to settle down.

But was DJ ready? Maybe not. She was scared. Understandable, really. She was nineteen, still in college, and with her whole life ahead of her. She wasn't Catholic and her family was Pro-Choice and at least conceptually she'd never objected to abortion. Of course, she'd never truly thought she might have to abort her OWN child, and the idea that a little life was growing inside her belly was the most compelling argument to keep it. But Keira's description about the horrors of taking care of a baby, coupled with the ski lodge brunette's description about the horrors of pregnancy had shocked DJ into facing the reality of actually carrying a child to term and beyond, and now that she stopped to really think about it, she wasn't so sure she was ready to go through with it.

She wanted to have my child. Really, she did. But she wasn't so sure she wanted to have my child now. The idea of keeping the fetus that was already inside her had been an easy decision in the beginning. It was mine – it was ours – so the decision to keep it was a slam dunk. But it's one thing to make that decision right at the point of taking that pregnancy test, and quite another to make that decision after careful consideration of all the variables. It's one thing to tell yourself everything will be alright while you still have your perfect 19-year-old body, and quite another to truly understand the changes that will happen to it. And it's one thing to believe in the ideals of love and family and getting married to the man you love, and quite another to really process all the sacrifices and consequences that lay ahead.

It's not that DJ had never thought of these things before, she had. But for whatever reasons, those sacrifices and consequences had never truly hit home. Maybe it was because we were flying on so much adrenaline and love in the beginning. Maybe it was because I went and did something rash and proposed. Maybe it was because we'd been caught up in the celebrations and the praise from family members and the holidays and finally our weeklong ski trip.

But now we were back home. Now we were about to return to NorCal.

Now we were returning to the real world.

And all of a sudden, DJ wasn't so sure...

Last night hadn't been the first time she contemplated getting an abortion, but last night had been the first time she really thought it might be the better course of action. She'd brought best friend Brooke into the room to discuss what she was thinking, and their conversation had lasted throughout the entire time Adrienne and I did the dishes, had two rounds of sex, and then took our shower. Even so, she and Brooke hadn't quite come to a consensus about what to do or even whether or not to tell me. But once I knocked on the door DJ's decision on that was made, and she brought me in.

We talked for most of the night, long enough for Adrienne to join us. At one point, when I was trying to reassure DJ that she and I would be able to handle the daily grind of child-rearing despite Brooke's and her worries that we wouldn't, I'd fished out for any support and asked Adrienne to back me up.

"What, you think I'm going to convince her that it's the right decision to have a kid? Me?!?" Adrienne had replied incredulously. But to her credit, Adrienne didn't try to insist that aborting the child was the right decision either. "It all depends on what's right for the both of you."

The problem was: neither of us was entirely sure what that was. In the end, we'd agreed that we wouldn't BE sure tonight, and instead would have to be content that at least we were openly communicating about things. Still, that open communication would begin and end with the four people in the room. If we ultimately decided to keep the baby, then there would be no point in worrying my parents or anyone else right now.

Sleep had come fitfully. DJ cried a lot in my arms. And despite my promise to save one for her, neither of us felt in the mood for making love.

But that was last night. This morning was this morning. Who knew what this day would bring?

"I can stay, you know. Drive up with you guys. Catch a flight to New York some other time."

I glanced over at Adrienne, riding in the passenger seat as we passed Jamboree and I merged to the right for my exit. All the goodbyes had been done. My parents had left for work this morning and the twins had driven off to meet up with their friends at the same time I loaded Adrienne into my car. Brooke and DJ were back at the house to finish packing up, and after this short trip to run Adrienne to the airport, I'd swing back to grab them, load up, and then start the drive for NorCal.

"What? No, of course not," I replied immediately. "You've got your shoot lined up."

"There's always another shoot. I can stay if you need me," she insisted, reaching a hand over to rub my knee.

I took a deep breath, weighing her offer. On the one hand, it would be nice to have someone by my side who was entirely ON my side, no matter what. Adrienne's only stake in this decision was my happiness, and while she herself could completely empathize with DJ's hesitation to have a baby, she knew that I wanted it and would fully support both me and that desire.

On the other hand, this decision was truly between me and DJ. Yeah, our families would have their opinions and potentially-conflicting desires, but the bottom line was that DJ and I would be the actual parents. All the burdens of responsibility began and ended with us. And while I certainly wouldn't object to Adrienne's presence and support, I didn't want to take her away from her life and career.

"No, no," I replied firmly. "I'll be alright. And we still have the phone."

"You HATE phone calls. You can't see who you're talking to and it creates this disconnect you have a hard time getting around."

"Yeah, but I'm used to it. I enjoy it each and every time you call me, and I'll certainly keep you in the loop on this one."

"You'd better. Don't make me worry about you, alright?" Adrienne laughed, knowing that by pretending to make the issue about herself and HER worrying, she was actually strengthening my resolve and confidence. I never rose higher than when I believed I was working for the benefit of those I cared about.

I smiled back at her, understanding what she was doing and pleased about it. But the stoplight at MacArthur was green and I focused on making the long left turn and avoiding the moron silver BMW that had taken the inside left lane and now was frantically trying to cut across three lanes to the right so he could turn into the airport ahead of me.

Once settled, as we all slowed down for the red light at the airport intersection, I glanced over again and asked, "What do you think she's going to decide?"

"I don't know."

"I know you don't know. I asked what you thought."

Adrienne sighed. "I don't really want to speculate. I don't know DJ very well, and it's hard for me to predict her."

"Try? For me?"

The 'for me' was Adrienne's trigger, and although reluctant, she took a deep breath. "If she was anything like me, she'd have run screaming from the idea of carrying the baby the moment she found out she was pregnant. But she didn't run, so we know she's not like me."

"Thank goodness. Now I don't have to worry about her setting me up with someone else as a distraction just so she can dump me for another girl."

Adrienne shot me an unfriendly glare, and then rolled her eyes and looked out the window. The light turned green and I rolled forward to make the right turn. We were almost to the drop-off curb, and perhaps feeling the time pressure, she looked back at me and sighed before saying quickly, "I think the most important thing in the world to DJ is you. She's been in love with you forever, and now that she has you, she's terrified of losing you. I think she's also terrified of having this baby, but since she's more terrified of losing you, she's willing to keep the baby just to make sure she doesn't lose you."

"You think so?"

Adrienne nodded. But before I could respond any further, that damn silver Beemer was cutting me off trying to get over to the Alaska Airlines drop-off area. I had to sharply hit the brakes and then focus on navigating the cars merging out from the parking garage to my right and the shuttle bus also deciding to merge in from my left. Moments later, I pulled alongside an old Cadillac in the drop-off zone and shifted the gear into "Park".

Adrienne's hand was still on my knee. "I can stay with you," she repeated.

"I'll be fine."

"I know you tell yourself that, but if you need me, I'll be there."

I took slow, deep breaths, and then reached down to pat Adrienne's hand on top of mine. "That's a nice offer, but I have to believe I'll be fine without you. Because let's face it: I'm engaged with a baby on the way and I'm very happy with that whole setup. Everything should be fine, and really, the only way I'm going to need you is if my entire life falls apart."

Adrienne gave me a brave smile and nodded. "Then I'll hope for both our sakes that you don't need me."

"Me, too."

Adrienne shot forward then, closing the gap between our two faces and searing her nuclear kiss across my lips before pulling back just as quickly as she'd moved in. "I love you, Tiger. Forever and always."

I smiled and nodded back. "I know."

DJ was in the family room with Brooke, the TV on but neither of them watching it. From the serious looks on their faces it was clear that the topic of conversation had been the same as last night's, and it was also clear that DJ was no closer to a decision that she had been then.

I didn't know whether or not the girls had finished packing. Most likely, they'd been busy still discussing the pros and cons of our big decision. I didn't know whether or not I could cut through all our hand-wringing and second-guessing in one fell swoop, but Adrienne's last speculation about what really terrified DJ had been on my mind for the entire drive home, and I wanted to know if she was right.

I didn't say "hello" or otherwise greet the girls. I didn't ask inane questions or casually approach them. Instead, once they noticed my approach I simply came to a stop five feet away from the couch and gave my fiancée a steady look. And I asked her, "Do you believe that I'll love you no matter what?"

DJ heard the weight in my words and took a moment before responding. She understood that I didn't want a knee-jerk 'of course' response. And in a hesitant, wavering voice, she replied, "I want to believe."

"Do you worry that I'll break up with you if you have an abortion?"

Again, DJ took a moment to consider her response before replying. "Yes..." she said even more quietly. "Yes, I worry."

I took a deep breath, gathering myself before stating clearly and sincerely, "DJ, I didn't ask you to marry me JUST because you became pregnant. Yes, that played a part in my decision, but we've been over this time and again in these last few weeks. I want to marry YOU. I'm in love with YOU. And yeah, I really want to have this baby. Yes, I really like the idea of raising a family with you. But you have to understand that my love and my desire for family do NOT have a time limit. I will love you whether or not we have a baby right now. I will love you whether or not we raise a family together right now. What's important is that we DO, eventually. 'Now' would be nice, but I understand if you're not ready. If you DID have an abortion, I would mourn the loss of what could have been, and we will carry that with us forever. But that would be but a small blip in our lifetime together. I'm happy with you as you are, pregnant or not."

DJ's lower lip was quivering, and there was fear in her eyes. But she was listening to what I had to say, and I plowed straight on.

"I chose YOU, chose to be with you before you got pregnant. We both knew that given our family history and given the difficulties we would face with Dawn and with Brooke and how our relationship would impact those friendships that you and I could NOT be together unless it was going to be for REAL. You were always ready for that, always knew that once you had me you were never going to let me go. -I- was the one that needed more time to get over my past, but I did. You are not a rebound. You are the relationship I chose, and I did so knowing it would have to be forever."

DJ took a big gulp, the worry still on her face but the fear started to melt away.

"I'm going to marry you, whether you're pregnant or not. I'm going to grow old with you, which means that we have plenty of time to have our family. I won't lie: I would LOVE to start right now. I have dreams and fantasies of just how indescribably adorable our children will be, how much we'll love them, and how much they'll love us. I want a family with you, and I want it so bad I want it to start right now. I feel like we've already started on this road, and that we can overcome any difficulties in our way. But..." I took a deep breath. "But ... I'll understand if you're not ready just yet."

DJ bit her lip nervously.

"You're not at the same place I am, age and experience and career-wise. You're not about to graduate, and you don't have a good job lined up, and there's a lot about your world that is still unsettled. I get that, and I can't be selfish and not consider how difficult this will all be for you. -I- won't have to carry this child for the next eight months and -I- won't have my belly swell up and throw all my hormones out of whack and -I- will never have to face the act of squishing this ... this... thing out of my hoo-ha."

Brooke stifled a chuckle, and DJ blushed.

"The point is: I WILL love you no matter what. The next time I ask you that question, I don't want there to be any hesitation. I don't even want you to merely believe it's true. I want you to KNOW it's true. I want you to FEEL it in your pores with every breath you take that I LOVE YOU. For better or for worse. Through sickness and in health. Until death do us part."

Now DJ started crying, and she got up off the couch to throw her arms around my torso and clutch me as tightly as she'd ever done. Sobbing against my neck, she held me as tightly as her muscles would allow, and it was a good thing I was in as good shape as I was, otherwise my ribcage might have buckled beneath her grip.

I had to work hard to keep my lungs pumping, but I did and endured her hug while rubbing her back and repeating over and over again into her ear, "I love you, DJ. I love you. I love you."

I repeated it more and more, never wavering, never slowing, until eventually her grip eased up, and her sobs subsided. At last, she pulled back just a few inches, enough to look me in the eyes. And after mouthing the words, 'I love you, too', she moved in and kissed me, pouring every ounce of her soul into our lips.

And when she pulled back, she sniffed and said, "I want this baby for you."

Despite sleeping in my arms, DJ understandably didn't get much rest last night. Her nightmares had woken her repeatedly, and between the lack of sleep and the recent bout of crying, her eyes were red with dark bags beneath them. She voluntarily gave up the shotgun seat for the ride home, preferring to curl up in the back seat and close her eyes. We hadn't even gotten out of the Orange Crush before she was unconscious and even snoring just a little bit in the back. That left Brooke and I both time and opportunity to talk, and we did.

"So how are you doing in all this?" I asked, after one of the random snores from the back seat told us we had privacy right around the time we drove past Disneyland. "I mean, everyone's been so concerned with how DJ and I are handling this and about us making this decision whether or not to keep the baby. But how are you?"

"I'm fine, really."

"That's it? Fine?"

"Sure. What do you want from me?"

"Well ... Ten minutes before DJ showed you the pregnancy test you weren't sure whether or not you would return to the house. You were feeling left out, like a third wheel, and at one point you insisted that you wouldn't be coming back to the house unless DJ broke up with me. But she didn't break up with me, and now we're at the exact opposite of breaking up: engaged and pregnant. So ... how are you?"

Brooke gave me a rueful smile and stared forward out the windshield, freeing me to do so as well. We were in the carpool lane and cruising along in very light traffic, given the late morning hour and the date this close to the holidays, but it was still a good idea for me to keep my eyes on the road.

"I'm good. I'm happy with the way things have turned out."

"Happy?"

"Yeah. It wasn't quite the way I expected it, but I got my best friend back. Sure, DJ's spending her nights with you and all, but she's really confided in me and leaned on me for support these last couple of weeks. She's shown that even with everything that's going on between you two – or perhaps because of what's going on – that she'll still have a place for me in her life."

"That's what -I- tried to tell you."

"I know, I know. I suppose I got jealous of you, and you have to admit that you two were all over each other and keeping me out in the cold quite a bit when you first got together. But I think I realize now that it was just a phase, your honeymoon period, and that once it passed that I'd get her back."

"You will, even after we're married. But if it's time with her you're worried about, I think you'll soon have to get used to being jealous of our kid. He or she is REALLY going to suck up all of DJ's attention."

"Well, yes and no. We talked a lot about that last night and today, about losing the ability to hang out with her friends and having to devote so much effort and energy into taking care of the baby. But I told her I didn't think it would be such a burden. For one thing, the kid will be at her parents' place all week, right? So when she's at school, she'll only be with us."

"The key is 'when she's in school'. At the very least she'll be taking the first semester off, and you won't be able to see much of us then unless you're driving all the way down to visit. And even once she returns to school, she'll be commuting back and forth and won't have nearly as much free time to 'hang out'."

"Yeah, but I can be okay with that. We'll value what time we DO have together that much more."

"I suppose."

"Besides, I know that having her parents' support as caretakers is a BIG thing in convincing her she can handle being a mother. She won't be one of those mothers with no help, left to her own devices to try and handle the work/life balance. Her parents have already said they'll be willing to take shifts in the middle of the night or even take the baby entirely so that she can get a full night's sleep. All the horror stories about raising an infant revolve around lack of sleep and opportunity to get away, but you two will easily be able to go see a movie or spend some quality time together if you need to."

"Yeah ... It's a nice luxury to have."

"So long as you're okay with living under the roof of your in-laws."

"Huh ... I suppose I never really thought about that."

"Not like being Mr. Big Shot at the Berkeley House: do what you want, screw whomever you want, stay up all night. It'll be your Mother-In-Law's house, and HER rules. Might even put a dampener on your sex life."

"Pssht. Deanna knows DJ and I will fuck up a storm."

"Maybe, but I don't know if anyone else will go to that house to join you. No more threesomes with Paige or Sasha or anybody else."

"What about you?"

Brooke giggled and reached over to pat my bulge. "Don't you worry about me."

I grinned, putting my hand on top of hers and grinding it down tighter on my package. "Then I'll have everything I need. No worries."

"That's what I told her. It hasn't been easy convincing her to go ahead and have this kid."

"So you're on MY side? You want us to have this baby?"

"I'm on DJ's side, always. I'll support whatever SHE wants to do. But yeah, I was arguing in favor of baby. Is that really such a surprise?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. If there's no baby, then there's nothing taking her away from you. Again, I'm still not entirely convinced you even want her marrying me, let alone having a family with me."

"I want her HAPPY. That's what's most important. Okay, so maybe I got selfish for a little bit. But with everything else going on, my petty squabbles just seem that: petty, and I do now remember how much I value her happiness. DJ loves you. You're her dream guy, and now she's got you. Having children with you is just icing on the cake. I always knew she'd have kids, and I looked forward to being Auntie Brooke. Now I literally will be 'Aunt' Brooke."

"You all will be Aunts. Brandi and Adrienne and Eden and Emma ... and from her side Dayna and ... well ... Dawn. Who'd have ever thought MY kids would have both an Aunt Adrienne and Aunt Dawn, huh?"

Brooke giggled. "Yeah ... I think most of us thought it would either be Mother Adrienne or Mother Dawn."

I sighed, my attention now on an Evans daughter, and not the one asleep in the back seat. I wondered what Dawn was doing right now. I wondered if she was in our clearing, thinking about me. And I wondered if SHE was thinking about those cute little kids that would have called her 'Mom' and me 'Dad'.

Brooke's voice brought me back within the confines of the car. "Thing is: DJ and I did talk about abortion back when we first got on birth control and recognized the possibility that one or both of us might end up pregnant before we necessarily wanted it. Both of us agreed that we were Pro-Choice, that we respected a woman's right to choose, but we also both agreed that we didn't think we'd ever be able to terminate a pregnancy ourselves. To our minds, a viable fetus is a baby waiting to happen, and barring any extreme circumstances like rape or severe disability, we couldn't imagine choosing to not let that baby come out. Someone else making that decision for themselves? Sure. But DJ or me? No. And especially not since that baby is yours."

"What would YOU have done if I'D somehow knocked you up?"

Brooke gave me a serious look, a startling intensity in her eyes. "I'd keep it, of course. Not a moment's hesitation."

"Really?"

"It would be your baby, Ben ... and mine. How else could we possibly be any closer?"

"Brooke, there are SO many reasons not--"

"Not to," she interrupted. "Of course, starting with the fact that I'd never be able to claim you as the father. But I'd make it work, if I had to. And who knows? Maybe someday ... when I marry Kenta ... I'll go off my birth control ... And then what happens, happens..."

I parallel parked outside a familiar house, unbuckled my seatbelt, and then leaned across the center console to kiss my fiancée awake. She'd traded places with Brooke when we stopped for lunch, but ended up reclining the seat all the way back and falling asleep again while Brooke dozed behind me.

DJ's eyes fluttered and she smiled before returning my kiss. And then still groggy, she sat up and glanced out the window. "Oh, we're here already."

"'Already' to you two. Me? I'm all stiff from doing all the driving."

DJ put her hand behind my head and pulled me toward her for a kiss. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

I pecked her and then shook my head. "You're going to be my wife. That means you'll never have to 'make it up to me' ever again. Everything I do for you will be because I love you, not because I expect anything in return."

DJ grinned. "Still ... I'll make it up to you."

DJ roused Brooke, doing the lip-locking honors this time and causing my little sister to giggle and push her best friend in the chest. By then, I was already pulling suitcases out of the trunk, and a minute later all three of us were cruising up the sidewalk.

DJ didn't bother with the doorbell, fitting her key into the front door's lock and then letting us in. Immediately the savory smells of dinner wafted over to us from the kitchen, grabbing the attention of all three of us just as Deanna poked her head out and exclaimed, "Hey! You're here early!"

Deanna Evans meant that we'd arrived well before dinnertime; DJ had already told her a week ago that we'd planned to drive up today. She hugged her daughter first, then stepped back and placed a hand on DJ's belly. "You're not showing already, are you?"

"Mom, are you calling me fat?"

"Well, we HAVE been pigging out on holiday food these last couple of weeks," I commented.

"Too many chili cheese fries," Brooke chimed in.

Deanna simply hooked an arm around DJ's neck, and then reached out with her left arm and did the same to me. Once she had both of us in her grip, she grinned and walked us forward so that Brooke was in on the four-way group hug.

I love this family.

The next day, I took DJ ring shopping and while we saw a couple of designs we liked, she couldn't settle on one right away. For one thing, DJ kept falling in love with the beauty of one ring or another right up until the point she found out how much it cost, and despite my insistence that she was worth it, she refused to let me spend that much money on her.

Over and again I told her that this ring would have to last us a lifetime, and the last thing I wanted was for her to regret choosing a smaller rock than she truly wanted. But she kept on targeting smaller, less costly rings, and then it was MY turn to insist that we find something better.

Brooke sided with me, drawling, "Bigger IS better in this case."

DJ and I agreed that we were in no rush to pick out the perfect ring, and she believed, "When I know, I'll know. Just like I know about you."

The following day we drove up to the City and spent some time hanging out before meeting up with Dayna and Brandi for dinner. We spend the evening with our sisters (and yes, ended up in a five-way fuckfest). But we returned back to the Evanses to sleep.

On Friday, we finally rendezvoused with DJ's high school friends, including Faye Nguyen. Faye was the only one who knew DJ was pregnant, but that little factoid remained a secret and would remain so until DJ finished her first trimester. In the meantime, I was suitably harassed, interrogated, and flirted with as DJ's new/old boyfriend. In particular, there were two pretty young coeds named Melissa who seemed particularly interested in getting to know me a little better.

Yes, you read that right; both of them were named Melissa. Melissa T was a 5'7" dirty-blonde chatterbox with a tight body and nice ass while Melissa V was a 5'6" Vietnamese chatterbox with a tight body and nice ass. The Melissas had been best friends since grade school after bonding as 7-year-olds over having the same name. Both were quite flirtatious. And both, DJ warned me, had a habit of going after the same guy, not always with good results.

Not that I was terribly worried about these girls going after me. After all, I was quite clearly taken given that I'd arrived as DJ's boyfriend. But at the same time, something about me must have captured the Melissas' interest because they both seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time flirting with me.

When I asked DJ about it after lunch, she told me I had that effect on a lot of girls. I oozed casual confidence, with none of the nervousness OR lechery most guys would have around a pretty girl. I walked around like I had everything figured out, even if I didn't necessarily feel that way inside. And when girls flirted and tried to get a reaction out of me, I always managed to flirt back just enough to be interesting while NOT reacting in such a way as to make a girl believe she had the upper hand on me. And nothing intrigues a girl more than a guy she can't seem to crack.

So apparently I had intrigued the Melissas. As a group the girls elected to see the new Heath Ledger movie Casanova, a title both Brooke and DJ thought highly ironic for me. For a movie about a supposed lothario bedding a variety of women, I found the movie disappointingly lacking in both nudity and sex. Really, the picture was a standard rom-com with a bit of Venetian window dressing, enjoyable on its own merits but ultimately forgettable. I spent most of my time casually ignoring Melissa T sliding a hand up and down my thigh trying to get a reaction out of me before Melissa V switched seats with her and repeated the maneuver. I'm not entirely sure how I would have acted had DJ not told me just twenty minutes before the movie started that I wasn't supposed to react to their antics. But efforts to remain impassive or not, when Melissa V abandoned all subtlety and simply grabbed my package, I had to firmly grab her wrist and place her hand on her own thigh, giving her a stern, almost condescending look of disapproval at the same time.

Such a response apparently only stoked her interest even further. It didn't matter that I was "taken", since my having a girlfriend shouldn't have prevented me from at least reacting to the Melissas' charms. They couldn't know that my rather expansive sexual experience had rendered me effectively immune to being swayed by a pretty smile or a flash of cleavage. And the fact that DJ not only didn't seem to mind, but actually giggled and winked watching the girls go to work on me, fueled their aggressiveness.

When the movie was over, as usual everyone headed straight for the bathrooms. As one of the few guys in the group I was in and out quickly, and to my surprise I found that DJ had never gone inside in the first place. I went straight to my "girlfriend", and as she pecked my cheek she whispered in my ear, "Having fun?"

"Yeah. Other than the movie being kind of a dud, yeah, I'm having a good time."

"I didn't mean the movie. I meant the Melissas."

"What about them?"

"Well they certainly seem to be having fun."

"They're harmless. They're pretty girls, but neither of them holds a candle next to you."

"C'mon. You wouldn't turn down fresh pussy."

I barked a laugh and glanced around to make sure nobody was in immediate earshot. "Deej, honey ... You're all I need."

"Oh, I know. But still, they're certainly interested. I think we should fuck 'em."

My eyes popped open wide. "Excuse me?"

DJ grinned. "Why not?"

I frowned. "Are Brooke and I not keeping you satisfied? Because the last thing I want is for you to feel like--"

"Oh reLAX. This isn't a Dawn needing to spread her wings kinda thing. I'm just curious. There were always rumors about the Melissas in high school. People talked. While they're both clearly into guys, the word was that they also dyked it out in private. Now such a rumor might not be such a big deal to a true Casanova like you were, but our school wasn't quite so ... disreputable. For one thing, I was a lot more buttoned up about my bisexuality back then, with only Faye really knowing I swung both ways. The Melissas and I were friends, but I couldn't confide in them about that sort of thing. Still, I always wondered what it would be like to nail them, and now here's my chance." DJ's eyes glittered, and I turned to follow her gaze and see both Melissas coming out from the bathroom. DJ leaned in close to my ear, whispering in a husky voice, "Seriously ... let's fuck 'em."

"What about Brooke?"

"She can come too. I don't think she'd turn down fresh pussy either. They're clearly jonesing for you, and while most girlfriends would make them go home with damp but unfulfilled panties, I think I'm going to take a page from Adrienne's playbook."

"Adrienne's what now?"

"The gateway to your cock..."

I chuckled, remembering my ex-girlfriend's mantra from college. And I finished, " ... is through your pussy."

"Exactly." DJ grinned.

I sighed. "You don't mind sharing me with them?"

"Seriously? After everything we've been through together? You think I'm expecting monogamy out of you or something?"

"Well, I HAD to ask." I took a deep breath, shrugging and sighing. "Okay then. Your game."

We and the Melissas didn't hop in the sack right away or anything. So far, this was just a game, and there were many moves yet to be played. It was still mid-afternoon, and we collectively decided to go hang out at someone's house. Tina's parents would be at work until close to 7pm, and they weren't too particular about locking down the liquor cabinet.

Though we'd started with thirteen, some people went home and our group of nine arrived at a nice suburban two-story in a small, gated development. One of the girls mixed up a few Midori Sours and raided the fridge for wine coolers. My male ego wouldn't let me accept one of those, so I settled for pouring my own 7 and 7. And then somebody broke out a pack of cards to play Deuces.

My competitive instinct kicked in and I joined three others around the coffee table to play cards, with Melissa T to my right. DJ and Brooke were chatting up one of DJ's high school friends and to my momentary consternation, I spied DJ sipping at one of the wine coolers. Shooting her a look, she rolled her eyes and gave me a "chill out" look. I forced myself to relax. Really, we'd both read material about how she didn't have to go cold turkey on alcohol, especially not this early in the pregnancy. It was a single wine cooler, and it would have raised suspicions for her to turn the drink down.

The group socialized and played games for the next couple of hours. Melissa T kept flirting with me, and when she wasn't, Melissa V was flirting with me. DJ even joined in and didn't do a thing to put the brakes on either of them, which only emboldened them further. I tried not to notice DJ starting a second bottle of Bartles & Jaymes, and found myself squished onto a couch during a conversation with Melissa T sliding off the armrest and into my lap. I didn't move her, and she didn't move herself, and I got a couple of suggestive eyebrows from the others over the next few minutes while I slowly stroked her lower back.

Melissa T had nice legs, and I didn't mind rubbing her knees either.

But eventually dinnertime approached, and we were careful to clean up after ourselves and put all the liquor back where it belonged in Tina's parents' cabinet. One more friend decided to go home after that, reducing our group to eight. The rest of us headed out to dinner at a local café the girls had known since they were young.

After dinner Melissa V wanted to go to Golfland, and I should have paid attention to her enthusiasm. That evening was the first time in recent memory that I'd lost a round of miniature golf, and the competitiveness between her and me did more to stoke my desire to fuck the pretty Vietnamese girl blind than any of the day's flirting had. She even hit the hole-in-one on the 18th.

Our long day then ended at a tapioca joint, drinking boba and eating fried chicken skewers. We'd dropped down to seven after Golfland, and now that it was approaching 10pm, the remaining couple decided to head home. That left just me, DJ, Brooke, and the Melissas. But to my surprise, once our drinks and snacks were done, the Melissas got up to go leave while Brooke and DJ hopped into my car to go home.

"Interesting day," I told DJ as she buckled herself into the passenger seat beside me. "Although not the ending I would have expected, given your suggestion in the movie theatre."

"Oh, the night's not over yet," my fiancée giggled.

I grinned. "Ah, so I work up all this sexual frustration with the Melissas pawing at me all day, just so I can take you two home and pound the shit outta you both?"

"Not exactly," DJ replied before jerking a thumb into the backseat. "We're dropping Brooke off at home. You and me, on the other hand..."

I glanced over to see DJ holding up a paper menu from the tapioca joint with what looked to be an address scrawled on it.

"It's the Melissas' apartment by San Jose State. We're meeting them there in twenty minutes."

I arched an eyebrow in confusion. "When did you--? How did you--?"

Brooke piped up. "Still a rock for brains. We have ways of communicating without you poor males ever noticing."

We came to a red light and I glanced into the backseat. "But you're not coming?"

Brooke shook her head. "With strangers around? Don't trust myself to keep my hands off you. But don't worry about me feeling left out. I've gotten plenty from both of you these last couple of weeks, and I do know you both love me. I'm good, really. This will be fun for just the two of you."

"Aww ... I love you, sweetie," DJ said sincerely to her best friend.

Brooke grinned and reached forward, rubbing DJ's shoulder. "Love you, too."

"Please ... please..." the crying Vietnamese girl begged, bent over on all fours and naked save for the cute white Keds she was somehow still wearing. "I can't ... I can't..."

"Sure you can," DJ growled, still feeling juiced. "All you gotta do is lie there and accept." Coating two fingers in a fresh coat of Astroglide, she pressed them into her high school friend's ass while firmly holding Melissa V's left buttcheek to the side.

"Oh my ... Oh my ... Shit-shit-shit-shit-SHIT!"

Melissa V's last word escalated in both urgency and intensity, understandable since that was the moment my cockhead popped through her previously-virginal anus. She'd taken DJ's fingers well enough, as well as the bullet-shaped vibrator DJ for some reason had carried in her purse along with the tube of Astroglide. But still, nothing could truly prepare her for the sensation of a thick, nearly eight-inch long schlong slowly burrowing all the way up her poop chute.

"Holy SHIT, she's taking it!" Melissa T breathed from directly beneath our joining, her eyes wide open in astonishment.

"Get back to licking her. Help her get through this first part!" DJ ordered.

Obediently, Melissa T grabbed onto her best friend's ass, accidentally prying the brunette's buttcheeks further apart and helping me sink another inch deeper. She went to work licking and munching on Melissa V's prominent clit, which initially caused my ass-fuckee to tighten up momentarily. But soon the pleasurable sensations coming from her loins relaxed her, and I was able to smoothly drive the rest of my dick up the younger girl's butt.

"Gawd, you're such a fucking stud," DJ breathed when she saw my pubes press up against Melissa V's ass. Grabbing my head behind the neck, she turned me to her for a hot open-mouthed kiss. But moments later, she turned my attention back to the girl who had beaten me at miniature golf tonight, and she growled, "Really give it to her."

Well, I couldn't disappoint the mother of my child now could I?

Pretty much the entire night had gone this way. From the moment DJ entered that apartment she'd taken charge of the situation, insisting that her high school friends thank her for bringing the greatest cock in the world to their humble abode and promising them a night they would never forget. She told the girls to make themselves comfortable on the couch before turning around and dropping to her knees before me, unzipping my fly and extracting my half-hard member before giving me a hot, wet, and messy warm-up blowjob.

The way she fellated me was more for the Melissas' pleasure than mine, but there's really no BAD way DJ could be sucking on my dick. After bringing me to full mast, she told the girls to feel free to get started on each other while we put on a show for them, and put a show on we did.

DJ and I made out with sloppy kisses while slowly stripping our clothes off. I made sure to profile her for maximum exposure, letting the girls watch wide-eyed when DJ's bra finally came off and those 34DD tits a Barbie Doll would have envied were put on display. I turned us so that the Melissas could really ogle my fiancée's ass. And then I lay DJ across the girls' coffee table right under their noses, palming her tits and making her scream while I knelt between her knees and ate her out with a fury.

The Melissas had started rubbing themselves first outside and then inside their clothes while all this was going on. But it wasn't until I started eating out DJ that they began to join in. Melissa T was the first to tentatively reach out and rub DJ's perky nipple, only two feet away from her. DJ cooed and held up the other boob for equal treatment, and then it didn't take long for the two blondes to begin swapping spit and pawing at each other.

Meanwhile, Melissa V had come to me, and when I knelt upright I told her to put me inside DJ. Almost reverently, the young Vietnamese girl took hold of my hot, throbbing shaft, stroking it experimentally before gushing that it was the biggest one she'd ever seen.

I nodded and told her she'd get to feel it inside her as long as she made sure DJ was happy, and then she did as I'd originally ordered by placing my cockhead into my fiancée's folds and holding on until I'd shoved the first couple of inches inside, her hand-grip preventing the last few inches from entry.

I pulled the near-stranger to me with one arm and crammed my tongue down her mouth. She let go of my cock to touch my bare chest, tracing my musculature while I began rocking my hips to fuck myself fully into DJ. I freed my arms to pull her shirt over her head, unsnap her bra, and then feast on her pretty, perky B-cups. Melissa V moaned and held my head to her bosom before I began tugging at her jeans. She stood up to pull them and her panties off, leaning in to let me lap at her bare-shaven twat before falling back onto the couch and tugging her remaining garments off her legs.

I told her to put the white Keds back on, a request that caused her to smirk in surprise. But she did as I asked and then came back to me for more exploratory kisses. And then we both turned to see how DJ and Melissa T were doing.

Even though I was still fucking her, DJ's attention had been on the other blonde. She'd also removed her friend's top and bra and was currently suckling on a bared nipple. Melissa T had bigger tits than Melissa V, although nothing quite like DJ's massive melons. Still, she seemed quite happy to push those heavy hooters into my fiancée's face right up to the point where DJ pulled her down and whispered something in her ear.

Melissa T jerked upright, but with a smile. And then I got a really good look at the dirty-blonde's legs and ass as she stood up straight, bent at the waist, and dragged her skirt and thong panties down to her ankles. She stayed that way for an extra heartbeat, grinning back at me and Melissa V upside-down from between her knees. And then she climbed onto the wood coffee table, which creaked beneath the added weight. And then she lowered her neatly-trimmed snatch to DJ's lips and sighed rapturously as my fiancée began eating her out.

Taking that as my cue, I pulled out of DJ's pussy and took Melissa V by the shoulders. Pointing down at my fiancée's wet beaver, I told her, "It's your turn."

Melissa V's eyes flared up momentarily before she stuck her tongue down my oral cavity. But just as abruptly as she'd kissed me she pulled away, sliding herself into position and sticking her tongue down DJ's non-oral cavity.

I watched the three girls going at it for a little while, enjoying the view. DJ certainly seemed happy to be getting double-teamed by the Melissas, perhaps finally fulfilling a fantasy she'd carried with her since high school. But I only stayed out of it for a few minutes. After all, I had a massive erection and DJ was right: I wouldn't turn down fresh pussy."

Melissa V was bent over doggy-style to eat out DJ while my fiancée reclined on the coffee table. There was plenty of room behind her for me to sink to my knees. Her ass was swaying slightly from side-to-side, but she stilled the moment my hand touched her hips. And then holding her in place, I used only my hips to guide my dick to the entrance of her core and then slowly pushed my way inside.

Melissa V pulled her head back just long enough to moan, "Holy shit you're fucking BIG."

DJ moaned happily to hear that I'd entered her friend. And moments later, she started writhing and bucking on the coffee table hard enough to make me worry she would collapse the entire thing.

Turns out, my worries were warranted. No, the coffee table didn't collapse THEN. It collapsed later. That one was my fault. After driving Melissa V to climax and then tossing the girl aside so that I could shove myself into DJ's twat and fire my first load into the love of my life, we made Melissa T climb off DJ and then suck the creampie out, only to share the snowball with Melissa V. Then, DJ orchestrated the three girls into giving me a three-way blowjob, which got me hard enough to park Melissa T on her back across that same coffee table and fuck her so hard that MY thrusts were what finally caused one of the legs to wriggle free of its screws and for the table to collapse dramatically in a sudden lurch that left all four of us laughing our heads off.

"Let's move this to my bedroom," Melissa V then suggested. And after scooping up Melissa T in my arms and sinking her back down onto my dick in a carry-position, the four of us did just that.

And I still haven't mentioned how we got around to Melissa V's anal deflowering, have I?

Well, that would come a little later.

My second load of the night went down DJ's throat, but that came only after I finished fucking Melissa T's brains out standing next to the bed while she and DJ were sixty-nining. The dirty-blonde was still screaming our her latest climax when I yanked my dick out, grabbed my fiancée's face and crammed my dick in-between her lips before letting fly. We didn't have to worry about Melissa V at the time because I'd already knocked her unconscious for a while. She was still sleeping face-down in her own bedroom next door after I'd done my 3-2-1 Touchdown thing to her with her legs flung over my shoulders and my hands lightly squeezing her neck.

My third load of the night did NOT go straight into DJ, although it did end up there eventually. See, Melissa T was NOT an anal virgin, and after figuring out the dirty-blonde went wild while DJ buzzed that bullet-shaped vibrator over the girl's anus while eating her out, the minute after Melissa T finished sucking me back to hardness DJ went back for her lube, coated up both me and her high school friend, and then sat back to masturbate while watching me sodomize the shit out of the poor girl.

I did say that DJ ended up with my load eventually. That's because she sucked out the anal creampie when we were done. It was easy enough, since Melissa T passed out from pleasure overload about five seconds before I blew my wad, and she therefore was quite unresisting.

And so at last we come to Melissa V's anal virginity. The bubbly, perky 19-year-old coed had gone white-faced watching me violate her roommate's hershey highway. She'd rather plaintively asked, "You're not going to do that to me, are you?"

DJ had replied immediately, "Absolutely" while I said, "Not if you don't want me to."

DJ and I met eyes over that one, and she must have been hanging around Brooke a little too much because I could swear I saw my sister's evil grin on my fiancée's face. But then DJ went over to her old friend, taking her by the hand and guiding her back to her own bedroom while calling over her shoulder for me to get myself cleaned up and then join them.

I did as asked, returning to Melissa V's bedroom to find the girls face-to-face, tit-to-tit, and with their legs scissored together so they could rub pussies. DJ also had that bullet-shaped vibrator in hand, mostly working Melissa V's pussy from behind but also tracing the girl's perineum and even buzzing it over her anus from time to time.

The girls then turned around to hand my cock back and forth to get me my fourth erection with their mouths. DJ's perfect tits were also brought into play, and I was ready to go quite quickly, much to Melissa V's amazement.

"I've never even SEEN a guy get four erections before."

"Honey, this one comes back up six times pretty often," DJ stated proudly, showing off.

"I'm not as young as I used to be," I cautioned carefully.

"Whatever."

DJ again was orchestrating things, placing me on my back in the center of Melissa V's bed. She had the other girl mount me and start riding for her own pleasure, kneeling behind the Vietnamese babe and reaching around to fondle breasts, rub pussy, and turn the girl's head back for a kiss or two. Together, DJ and I got Melissa V a fresh orgasm, and then DJ circled around to mount my face in a reverse position so she and the brunette could continue kissing and fondling each other.

Melissa T woke up sometime during that fuck, watching us and recovering before DJ intoned that she wanted to watch the two Melissas dyking it out. They didn't take much convincing, lying down beside us and quickly reminding us just how beautiful two girls who intimately know each other inside and out can be.

DJ, meanwhile, had switched sides to sit on my cock, although she was mostly using her pussy as a dick-warmer just to keep me erect while focusing on the sight of the Melissas kissing tenderly and rubbing each other's body. DJ lay down on top of my chest, kissing me for a moment before turning her cheek. And then in a voice of quiet sadness, she said, "I love you, honey, but right now I kinda miss Brooke."

"Understandable," I assured her.

DJ then focused on kissing me for a little while, moaning and gradually heating up with the passion of our love until she finally broke away to breathe and gasp, "I want you in my ass."

My eyebrows rose, but she said, "I want the trifecta tonight."

Well, I couldn't disappoint the mother of my child now could I?

DJ had to go back to Melissa T's bedroom to retrieve the Astroglide, but then she had the dirty-blonde do the honors of lubing her up while she put her cheek on her forearms and stuck her ass up into the air. It took me to a moment to realize she was in Kim's Second Position, and that thought only spurred my lust.

But I didn't pound her. I made love to DJ's ass, putting all the tenderness I felt for the woman currently carrying my unborn son or daughter. The fact that my cock was gliding in and out of her asshole was immaterial. I made love to her body, caressing every inch of her with my hands, lips, tongue, and yes ... my cock.

Eventually, DJ's legs gave out and she collapsed face-down. I lay my chest against her naked back, and my arms on top of hers. I held the backs of her hands against my palms, our fingers intertwined. And with my toes straining against the bed sheets, I rutted in and out of her rectum until she cried softly in climax and I joined her, spraying my load deep within her bowels.

That sex act, more than anything else, convinced Melissa V to lose her anal virginity. My violation of Melissa T's butthole had frightened her, but my lovemaking with DJ had inspired her to give it a try. The girls cleaned me up, and then DJ's mouth brought me back up for that fifth erection that astonished the Melissas. And right when my column of man flesh reached back up toward eight inches, Melissa T breathed, "You're right. This is the greatest cock in the world."

Personally satiated, DJ played director. She got the girls into a sixty-nine. She had me tonguing Melissa V's anus, giving her a rim job to get her adjusted to the anal sensation. And then her own fingers lubed us up.

At the last second, the Vietnamese girl panicked and pleaded, "I can't ... I can't..."

But moments after that, she could. And finally I was balls deep up my third asshole of the night.

Given the way Melissa V had become convinced to try this, you'd think I would give her a gentle deflowering. I would have, really, had the decision been up to me. But to my surprise, after a couple of minutes of slow-dicking it was Melissa V who quietly pleaded, "Harder ... A little harder..."

Well, requests for a "little" harder soon became requests for plain "harder". "Harder" requests became urges for "More! More!"

"More!" requests became orders to "Fuck me! Fuck my ass!"

And when I reminded myself that this ... this... 19-year-old GIRL had beaten me at miniature golf, it only took one command "Hammer me!" for me to do just that.

Over and over I lunged with full speed into the poor girl's bowels. Faster and with more force my pelvis slammed against her tight buttcheeks. Really, Melissa V had a NICE ass. It was tight and firm and perky, just the way I liked it. Sure, I liked the padding of a bubble-butt from time to time, but there's something just so ... invigorating about grabbing onto a skinny but toned backside and really laying wood to it. There's a meaty solidity that a more fat-filled and rounded tushy doesn't have. And it's comparative lack of "give" imparts just a little bit of pain with each impact.

It was why I loved fucking Brandi's and Brooke's asses so much, the holy grails of butts. It was why I had so enjoyed that time I finally sodomized Kady Jacobsen. And it was one reason I was getting such a thrill from pounding Melissa V right now.

"UNNNNGHHH!" she grunted beneath me, pressed flat against the mattress by my savage thrusts, her limbs spread askew.

"UNNNNGHHH!" she groaned again, the wind knocked out of her from my latest impact.

"AWAUUUUGH!!!" she screamed, climax finally overtaking her.

Melissa T had long ago slid herself out from underneath her best friend. DJ had gone down on her and given the dirty-blonde one more oral climax before she decided she was done for the night and sat back. DJ herself sat in the desk chair, still fingering her own pussy and husking strong words about sucking out the anal creampie for a second time tonight.

I felt the inner vibrations of Melissa V's butt muscles clamping down on me as she climaxed, the tightness slowing my thrusts although I didn't quit my in and out action. She whined and whimpered and moaned at sensations she couldn't comprehend flooding through her brain. And when at last she was on the verge of passing out, I finally let go of my kegels and let the fire hydrant of cum flood forth.

"Oh, God..." Melissa V whimpered, feeling her rectal depths being filled by scalding jism. She twitched, just once, and then her head lolled forward limply, as she had already passed into unconsciousness.

I let my weight settle onto her back, crushing her smaller body beneath mine. And with a satisfied grin, I muttered, "Nope. Just me."

Of course DJ and I weren't going to spend the night. One thing about staying under the roof of her parents was that her mother would expect us to come home. Yeah, it was after midnight, but we were college kids. We didn't have curfews anymore. And Brooke would have let Deanna know that we were staying out late.

So DJ and I did a quick cleanup and gathered our clothes. Melissa V woke up in time to kiss us goodbye and gush that DJ had made good on her promise for a night they'd never forget. And Melissa T insisted that we give them a call if we were ever back in the area and looking for a no strings hookup.

We then returned to the Evans' house and took a quick shower together. DJ then told me she had to take care of something and slipped into Dawn's bedroom where Brooke was sleeping. Behind the closed door, I heard my little sister jerk awake with a grunt and a moan before gasping in surprised pleasure.

I chuckled and left them to it. DJ obviously felt that she owed Brooke for missing out tonight, and while I was of a mind to add my own apologies, after five rounds and three asses my cock was wiped out for tonight. So I settled for warming up DJ's side of the bed.

Exhausted from the ... well... exhausting sex, I actually fell asleep before DJ returned to me. I was only half-awake when she lifted the covers and slid in beside me, backing up into a spooning position and pulling my hand over her torso and then underneath her pajama top so that I could palm her naked breast. I pressed my nose into the back of her neck, inhaling her sweet scent mixed with feminine musk. And I murmured, "You smell so good."

DJ giggled. "I smell like I just had sex with your sister."

"Uh-huh. You smell good."

And then we drifted off to sleep.

-- SATURDAY, JANUARY 7, 2006, WINTER BREAK --

I felt something tickle my balls, and with a start, I jerked awake.

"Mmph!" DJ groaned, and as I sat up, I realized I'd just shoved my dick an inch into her throat. She took it like a trouper, gagging only slightly and keeping her head down, breathing heavily through her nose until I pulled back. And as I did so, she popped off my cock, smiling as she continued stroking my shaft with one hand.

"Morning," DJ greeted, looking quite perky. She'd apparently woken some time before me, having had the time to get dressed and put her hair up in that Heidi braid she'd recently adopted. She'd already dabbed on her daily makeup and her sky blue eyes sparkled in the morning light.

For a moment, I let my head fall back, allowing myself to awaken fully while enjoying my fiancée's ministrations. But after a minute or two, I caught my breath and levered myself up onto my elbows, watching DJ work her oral magic before reaching down with one hand and brushing a lock of loose hair back from her forehead and behind her ear.

She smiled around a mouthful of meat, and then twisted her head while deep-throating me. She already had me at full hardness, and as the tingles of pleasure began crawling up my spine, I asked, "You wanna come up here and join me?"

DJ popped off long enough to say, "You're not too wiped out from last night?"

"I've always got reserves of energy for you."

Holding my prick upright with one hand, she banged my crown against her forehead a couple of times and then took a long lick from base to tip. "That's nice, but lemme just do this for you today."

I shrugged my agreement as she went back to work, watching this gorgeous goddess pleasure me without expectation of return until I couldn't stand the pleasure anymore. I simply had to let my elbows collapse and my head fall back for the last minute or so before my balls clenched and I began geysering wave after wave of cum into my lover's sucking mouth.

She swallowed every drop and then kissed my sensitive tip before finally crawling up the bed to lie beside me. Cradling my face, she kissed me and then set her head down on my chest. And for a little while, I simply held my future wife and enjoyed the blissful aftermath of utter satisfaction.

But after a few minutes, I felt DJ's totally relaxed body begin to tense up. I thought that signaled her transitory antsiness, and that she was thinking about getting up to find breakfast. Although I probably could have remained lying there with her for a few more minutes, SHE wasn't the one who'd just gotten off, so it only made sense for her to be ready to move a little earlier than me.

It was no big deal for me to get up now, so I patted her back and asked, "Wanna go get breakfast?"

She nodded at first, but then stopped abruptly and elevated herself on one elbow to look down at me. There was evident worry on her face, and after she blinked a couple of times while remaining silent, I took it upon myself to ask, "What's wrong?"

"Tell me you love me."

Though momentarily perplexed, I didn't hesitate in replying, "Of course. I love you."

"Did you really mean it when you said you would love me no matter what?"

"Absolutely."

"Even if I hadn't become pregnant?"

"Yes, of course."

DJ bit her lip nervously, staring into the back of my eyes. "Did you mean it when you said you'd wait to have a family if I wasn't ready yet?"

Now I hesitated, and in that hesitation I saw DJ wince and turn her face away. But feeling her slip away, I quickly raised a hand and turned her face back to mine. "Yes, I meant it," I stated firmly, willing her to believe me. "If you weren't ready ... If you're NOT ready ... I'll understand."

"But you won't be happy."

I took a deep breath, pursed my lips, and didn't answer her directly. Instead, I asked, "Are you telling me you've changed your mind? That now you want to have an abortion?"

"Will you leave me if I do?"

"DJ..." I took a deep breath, collecting my thoughts. And once I felt calm, I took another deep breath and stated, "I believe that I'm ready to be a father, but it takes the both of us to be parents. If you don't feel that you can handle being a mother just yet ... If ... If ... If you want to have an ... an ... an abortion ... I will still love you."

"But you hesitated. You could barely say that just now."

I sighed. "Deej ... I want this baby. I do. I look at you and I imagine the little child growing inside you. So yeah, I'm hesitating. But the decision isn't only up to me. I've said it before and I'll say it again: You're the one that's going to have to carry this baby to term and deal with all the physical and emotional consequences. I can't give birth for you, for us. And while I'm ready to do my part in dealing with sleepless nights and changing diapers and feeding and caring and all those other things ... It's not just about me. I made the decision a long time ago that I want a family, but I also decided that I want my family with YOU. I don't want to wait. I honestly think that you and me and our baby will be just fine if we start our family right now. But ... But ... If you don't ... then, I'm willing to wait for you."

"Are you?"

"Will you still marry me?"

"You'd still want to marry me? Even if I wasn't pregnant?"

"I thought I made myself clear on that point. YES."

DJ smiled. "Then yes, I'll still marry you."

"Then that's good enough. I admit that yes, I want this baby. But it's YOU I want more than anything else in the world. Marry me, DJ. Become my wife. Let us discover our future together and I know that the family part will eventually come. Heck, we already know we're both fertile."

That brought a little smile onto DJ's face. Sighing, she pushed herself upright and planted a hand on the bed. With her legs neatly folded to one side, most of her weight was supported by that arm, and she touched her own chin to her shoulder while looking back at me. The motion caused some of her bangs to come loose and drape over her face, the blonde tresses backlit by the morning sun.

She was so breathtakingly beautiful in that moment that I couldn't help but elevate myself to a sitting position, grab her head in my hands and pull her to me for a fierce supervolcanic kiss that knocked both of our socks off. I did LOVE this girl, and while a part of me ached inside at her hesitation to have this baby, my soul rejoiced in the affirmation that she still wanted to marry me.

Eventually, we separated, both of us needing to catch our breaths. DJ eyed me for a moment with a look of wonder, pleasantly buzzing off that kiss although still with some trepidation in her eyes. "You'll really be okay with it if I don't have this baby yet?"

I sighed, feeling my own buzz wipe away, and my shoulders sank as I leaned back against the headboard. "Okay? Yes. Happy? No. But that's alright. I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Can I ask though, what changed your mind? Or was it that you'd still wanted to have this abortion since the first time you told me, and I never completely changed your mind to keep it?"

DJ sighed. "Both, I guess. I mean, you sorta did change my mind but then you sort of didn't. This has always been in the back of my head and I've just never been totally comfortable with the idea of becoming a mother this young. I mean, I'd be 20 by the time the baby was born, but only just barely. And everything you said about not having my life 'settled' yet ... that's totally true. I've two more years of college. I don't have a job yet. And I was staring down the idea of being married with children before I'm even legally old enough to drink."

"Scared you?"

"Of course! You've got two years on me, but I can barely understand how all that doesn't scare YOU!"

"It does, sometimes. They say you can never be truly ready to be a parent. You can be as prepared as possible, but all the book knowledge in the world can't compare to the actual EXPERIENCE of being a parent. There's just something about it impossible to understand until you've actually got that child in your hands."

"And THAT scares me even MORE. I can't even properly prepare for this? That being a mother is so radically life-altering that nobody can ever be truly READY for it? How deep down over my head was I getting? Seriously?!?"

"You'd have managed just fine. You still will, if I can change your mind about getting an abortion. I believe in you, and I believe you'll be an awesome mother."

"I'm not ready, Ben. I'm not."

I took a deep breath. "I hear you."

"But you still want to change my mind."

"I do. It goes back to something I talked about with Paige. Nobody in their right minds ever WANTS to be teenaged single mother. There simply aren't any practical reasons to do so. But now that she's MET her baby, she can't imagine having chosen any other way of life. She sees the adorable face and feels the chubby cheeks and hears the cute little squeals. Knowing what she knows now, she wouldn't have had things any other way."

"That's a good reason to have a baby, period. Not necessarily a good reason to have a baby NOW."

"I know, I know. It's just that ... you're already pregnant. It's like we're halfway there."

"But we're not halfway there. We're not even a quarter way there. I've only KNOWN I've been pregnant for three weeks. The fetus is little more than a collection of cells, a lima bean without a head or limbs or anything yet. It's not too late."

I sighed. "I guess."

"I can't do this yet. I know my initial reaction was to want to keep the baby ... OUR baby. But since then everything's been such a whirlwind. Finding out I was pregnant, you proposing, and then off to your family's for vacation and calling each other fiancé and fiancée. Everything just happened so fast!"

I frowned. "Would you rather I didn't propose?"

"What? No ... no. I love being engaged to you, and being engaged doesn't really change anything about us except for having that much more of a commitment to each other. But this pregnancy ... It's just ... It's all so sudden. And I'm only nineteen. And I don't think I'm ready to give up on my youth just so fast."

"You'll still be young."

"Young and FAT. You should have seen the way the Melissas gushed about my body last night. They thought I was hot in high school and wanted to fuck me then, but they're just blown away by me now. I feel perfect ... perfect weight and size and the firmness of my boobs and the flatness of my tummy. I went to gym religiously this past semester and my abs have never looked so good. I can't ... I don't want to see them bulge out and get that basketball on my belly just yet. I don't want to see my boobs start drooping before their time."

"Everybody's body changes, and you always said you wanted kids eventually."

"Eventually! Not now! Not yet! Christ, Ben. When we started dating I thought we'd be boyfriend and girlfriend for a couple more years, and then maybe you'd propose right after graduation, and then we'd get an apartment together and see the world and go to parties and have lots of wicked hot sex and do so many amazing things together before settling down. Like ... twenty-seven. That's EIGHT years away for me! Eight years I'd be giving up. But I'm not ready to give that up yet! I want to keep snowboarding. I want to visit Europe. I want to sun on a beach in the Bahamas with this perfect body and watch all the jealous people drool over me. But I can't do that with a kid. I'll NEVER be able to do that if I have a kid. My body will never come back to the way it is now, and we'll never have the time to just be the two of us on some tropical getaway."

"Of course we'll have time. Our parents certainly manage often enough."

"Our parents are OLD. They're like ... in their FORTIES. Almost FIFTIES. I can't wait that long. I know my mom's in good shape, but she'll never again look the way she did in her early-20s. And if I keep this baby, then I'll never even HAVE an early-20s!"

"Okay, DJ, okay..." I said gently, raising my hands up and then placing them on her shoulders to try and calm her down. "I get it. I get it. I gave you these same reasons myself, and I understand them."

"And that LOOK you gave me last night when I was drinking that wine cooler!" she complained. "That 'Ohmigawd she's drinking!' look. What the hell? I'm not ready for those looks. I'm not ready to be told I can't have alcohol or I can't go dancing or I can't go out and have fun with my friends because I've got stay home and breastfeed. I'm not ready!"

"Okay, okay!" I said a little louder, squeezing her shoulders.

DJ cracked then, the tears bursting forth in a flood as she collapsed forward. I grabbed her and pulled her body around so that she was sitting sideways on my lap, sobbing against my neck while I stroked her back and cuddled her tight.

"It's okay," I reassured her. "It's okay. I get it. I understand. I'm still with you. I still love you. You're not ready, and that's okay. I still want to marry you, and we'll have our family eventually someday. I love you, Deej. I love you..."

Still, it was a long time before she stopped crying.

That's because after a little while, it really hit me that the adorable, chubby little boy or girl growing inside of DJ's womb was never going to be born. And then -I- started crying, too.

It took a while for DJ and I to compose ourselves after that. I'm sure the Brooke and her parents thought we were doing something naughty in the bedroom, or even perhaps merely sleeping in after our late arrival last night, because they left us alone. And there were no questions save for the usual morning greetings when we did finally emerge.

DJ and I had agreed not to reveal her decision to her parents just yet. She still wanted to do more research to figure out how to actually go about getting an abortion. She didn't ask me to help her figure these things out; I suppose she realized that while I accepted her decision, it wasn't something I really wanted to do. As it turned out, Brooke sensed the disquiet in her best friend even before we sat down to a late breakfast, and once the meal was over, the two of them left to go up to DJ's bedroom while I joined Jack Evans on the couch to watch TV. I held no illusions that DJ wouldn't tell Brooke what she'd decided.

A couple of hours later, DJ and Brooke cruised downstairs to pick me up so we could go out somewhere. I didn't know what we were doing or where we were going, but I followed along and drove where DJ told me until we came to a quaint little park. DJ said there was a gazebo with some benches inside there, and it was a place she used to go when she wanted to think.

Unfortunately, the park also had a playground, and there were a half-dozen small children climbing about the jungle gym while their parents either watched or chased after them. The three of us didn't make it out of the car, and I never even turned the engine off. DJ saw the expression on my face, and it was Brooke who suggested from the backseat that maybe we should find somewhere else.

It proved surprisingly difficult to find a spot without a view of any children. Nowhere in the retail areas, at least. In the end, we happened upon a suburban business complex with empty streets and rows of mingled 2-story office buildings and warehouses. The parking lots were dead empty, and in the end we simply stayed in the car, completely isolated.

There, the girls told me that they'd decided on a particular abortion clinic close by and that apparently had some good online reviews for being non-judgmental and low pressure. They'd made an appointment for Monday, the first day the clinic would be open for procedures. We'd go out, we'd come back, and her parents would never know the difference. Then, when she was ready, DJ would give them the news.

I wasn't particularly a fan of the girls' approach. A decision this monumental I felt deserved to be told in person. I wasn't going to try to change DJ's mind, knowing that she was dead set on following this course of action, but I did feel that at the very least, we should return straight back to the Evans' house and tell Jack and Deanna when it was over.

DJ grudgingly agreed. Given a choice, I think she would have rather NEVER told her mother, and perhaps made up some story about a miscarriage a couple of weeks down the road. But she was adamant that she not tell her parents BEFORE having the abortion, because she wouldn't be able to deal with the stress and anxiety between the telling and the actual deed. I agreed, because I didn't think Deanna would be able to deal with the stress, either. Better to try and get over things AFTER than worry about what was still yet to come.

Once we agreed on that, the three of us went silent. It was a heavy, serious time for all of us, especially DJ. I'm sure at this point she wished she could just get it over with right away, and to be honest, so did I. As much as I did love her and did want to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her, this abortion was like a kick in MY gut and even now I could taste the bile in the back of my throat.

Brooke tried to break the ice by asking how I was taking things. I said all the right things, explaining that I understood why DJ was making the decision she was and that I still supported her. I knew we would have other chances down the road once our lives were more settled, and it never would have been an easy thing to raise a family this early in both our love and in our lives. For all I knew, having a baby while still a college student would have been the thing that broke our relationship. This way, we were free to grow and develop as a couple without the burdens of child-rearing before we were ready.

I thought I was pretty convincing, but when we hit the next awkward pause in the conversation, I could see that both DJ and Brooke had read the strain behind my eyes. This hurt, and not for any silly political reasons about Pro-Life versus Pro-Choice. For a little more than three weeks I'd lived my life under the belief that I would have a child come August. But now for better or for worse, that future was being taken away from me.

DJ reassured me that this didn't mean she loved me any less, and I believed her. I believed that she wanted nothing more in this world than to be by my side and to eventually become my wife. Really, I think she only kept the baby THIS long because (A) she thought she was supposed to and (B) because she worried that I'd break up with her if she didn't. But apparently I'd done a pretty good job of reassuring her that I DID love her, that I HAD chosen her, and that even an abortion wouldn't break us apart. It was only because she trusted in my love for her that she had even made this decision.

Perhaps you should have let her believe you'd dump her instead.

That was an unkind thought, and I shook it from my head immediately. The absolute worst would have been for my child to be born to a mother who didn't really want him or her. DJ had every right to be frightened out of her wits at the idea of having a baby right now, and her decision made all kinds of logical sense. It wasn't even the first time this decision had been made for me. After all, Allie Sanders had gone through the same thing when we were still in high school.

Allie Sanders ... I wonder where she is now?

"C'mon, you two," Brooke said finally, breaking the most recent awkward silence. "Let's go home."

We arrived to find that Jack and Deanna had left the house to run some errand or another, with a note saying they'd be back by dinner. That meant that we had the whole house to ourselves, and DJ was suddenly quite insistent that the three of us get naked and sweaty.

We wound up in DJ's bedroom, just in case the parentals arrived sooner than expected. The girls sat me down on the bed and gave me a tandem blowjob, with DJ being just as commanding as she'd been with the Melissas, directing Brooke like my little sister was an extension of her own body. The two of them fucked my brains out that afternoon, with DJ especially going all out. There was an intensity in her eyes, a sharpness and attentiveness I hadn't seen before. She watched everything that was happening with great care, especially the expressions on my face. And she flung herself into making love with 110% energy.

She timed her thrusts to match mine, carefully seeking out just the right depth and power to maximize my pleasure. She was so good at it that I got caught up in her lust and fury, the sexual creature inside me so completely excited by her expertise that I couldn't help but go along for the ride. She made sure to hit all of my sensitive spots, or have Brooke do it for her while her hands, lips, and pussy were occupied elsewhere. She read my body as well as I'd ever read hers, as if SHE were the sexual savant. And she wrung such extreme pleasure from my loins that by the end of it I was a drooling, slobbering mess of a man half-passed out in her bed.

I came all over her face and in her hair, with extra droplets dripping down onto her wonderful breasts. She had Brooke lick up every little bit and then snowball them back to her for my viewing pleasure. I came deep in her cunt, so deep that even Brooke couldn't suck it back out for further snowballing. And in the very end, I blasted away deep within her exceptionally lubricated colon, feeling her ass muscles milk me for every last drop until I was completely spent within her.

I only had the three ejaculations to complete the trifecta, but they were some of the best ejaculations I'd ever had. She'd done everything possible to give me the threesome of a lifetime. In short: it was the perfect fuck.

And that's when I remembered that we'd had a perfect fuck before. It had come more than two years ago, back during the first time DJ and I were a romantic couple. It had also been the LAST fuck of our first relationship, and only now, several minutes after that last ejaculation up DJ's ass did I realize why I was thinking about that time.

DJ had done the same thing to me that I'd done to her then. She'd been my perfect lover ... technically, skillfully ... But not emotionally. She'd done everything right in terms of action and pressure and pushing all of my buttons. But it was the wrong time for that kind of love.

Today, mere hours after telling me she was going to terminate my child, she was trying to make it up to me by giving me the best fucking she could give. But I didn't need the best fucking right now. I needed ... my wife. The motions were there, but the emotions weren't.

It wasn't that she didn't love me. Despite the mechanical fucking, I truly believe she did. Actually, it was BECAUSE of her overly mechanical fucking that I knew she did. She was simply trying too hard, and now that I had figured this out, I told her.

"I get it. And I thank you for caring enough to try so hard," I reassured her once I finished with my explanation. "But this probably wasn't the best time."

"What DID you want?"

"I simply wanted to feel your love. You know that while I accept your decision, I can't be happy about it. We both know I DID want this baby, so to be losing it like this ... it's an emotional gut wound. I guess ... a situation like this needs to be treated like any other sense of loss. I needed comfort, not wild sex."

"What, you don't think -I- feel a sense of loss? I'm the mother! I'm about to lose a part of ME!"

"I know, I know," I said quickly, reaching up and rubbing DJ's cheek as she leaned over me. "We both do. And I just think that's what WE should be doing right now. Comforting each other. We're both losing something in a couple of days. Yeah, you wanted to cheer me up or make me feel better, and you did such a damn good job of it that I DID get carried away with you. But let's face it ... This time, really, is a time of mourning, not celebration."

Suddenly feeling her nakedness, DJ pulled the covers over her body. Brooke retrieved DJ's shirt and brought it over to her, and I allowed my fiancée to put it on before she cuddled up to me beneath the covers.

"Should I go?" Brooke asked.

I shrugged, replying, "Maybe just for a bit."

But DJ shot her hand out and grabbed Brooke's wrist, saying, "No. Please. I need you right now."

Nodding, Brooke spooned in behind DJ, embracing her best friend and imparting a sense of reassurance that I simply couldn't match. Instantly, DJ seemed to calm down feeling my little sister's hug, and inevitably, my thoughts turned to Dawn and the special bond with her I'd lost.

What would she make of this situation? Would she feel bad for her little sister, going through such a tough and potentially traumatic decision like this? Would she rejoice to learn that her rival for my affections was taking a step backward?

But I pushed Dawn out of my mind. She'd had her chance, and she was a part of my history now. Dawn was my past, and DJ was still my future. I held onto my wife-to-be tightly, and I silently thanked Brooke for her presence. At a time like this, DJ and I needed all the help we could get, and I could never be jealous for the bond Brooke and DJ shared.

But then in the distance we heard the rumble of a garage door. The parentals were back, and if we were going to continue with this secret, we'd have to get our game faces on.

Monday arrived sooner than I would have expected. One might think that the anxiety over the impending abortion would have dragged out each hour leading up to the big moment, but instead I felt like the clock was ticking on my baby's life, and that clock was moving WAY too fast.

On the other hand, our anxiety over it all made the act itself rather anticlimactic. The three of us went to the clinic in the morning, filled out our paperwork, and then had the procedure done. Brooke had to wait outside, but they actually let me go in with DJ and hold her hand. She was crying thirty seconds after she climbed onto the operating table, and so was I, actually. And then it was all over and we were on our way home.

Puffy-eyed and distraught, we gave Jack and Deanna Evans the news. I ended up doing most of the talking, explaining the reasons like they were OUR reasons. WE felt too young for this baby. WE felt that our lives weren't settled down enough yet. And WE had things we still wanted to do while we were young.

That Deanna Evans didn't completely lose her marbles was of some surprise. Perhaps her agony was tempered by the assurance that DJ and I were still going to get married, despite no longer being pregnant. But really, I think she was too completely in shock to even flip out. Jack would probably have to deal with her nervous breakdown tonight, or even later, especially since we'd also told them that we were leaving the house today instead of next week when classes resumed.

DJ's parents understood our desire to step away from things and have some time to ourselves to process. Deanna did suggest that her daughter would be better off with parental support at a time like this, but DJ apologized and explained that the last thing she wanted to do was see her every day knowing she'd taken away her mother's first chance at a grandchild. Deanna, although not happy, seemed to understand that.

Jack did shake my hand and wished us both well. It wasn't like we wouldn't be seeing them again. Deanna cried and hugged us both like she never wanted to let go. And then we headed for Berkeley.

Once back in the house, we took about an hour to unpack and compose ourselves before making the phone call to my parents. That turned out to be a short conversation because it turned out that Deanna Evans had already called my mom and given her the news. Figures.

My parents were much more understanding and practical about the situation. Mom reassured me by saying she understood that it must not have been an easy decision, but that she honestly thought we'd made the right one. I was surprised by that, but DJ wasn't in the mood to keep on the line any longer than she had to, so we ended the call with polite goodbyes.

Dayna and Brandi, on the other hand, decided to drop everything and drive over. They even left work to do so, and thirty minutes later both girls were in the living room bawling with DJ while Brooke and I looked on.

"I'll make dinner," DJ volunteered. I went with her. And thus began one of the longest weeks of my life.

Let's talk for a minute about guilt. Guilt is a cancer, a disease that when left unchecked can rot away even the best relationship from the insides. Even when IN check, meaning that the guilt is not kept secret and instead is openly communicated and forgiven, it's still ... well ... let me put it this way: often times even the best cared-for cancer is not survivable.

I knew in my gut that I could never live with guilt over the first time I ever cheated, on Megan and Cassidy by letting Adrienne seduce me back when I was sixteen. Coming clean had been the only solution, even though it directly led to the dissolution of those relationships. Guilt can be a lose-lose situation, and the only remedy is to never have cause to feel guilty in the first place.

But sometimes that isn't an option. Sometimes (too often, perhaps), the cause for guilt has already happened, and now you're stuck trying to find some other solution. Many people try not to feel guilty about the bad things they've done. Some even succeed, and live their lives doing bad shit and never letting their conscience bother them.

I'm NOT that kind of sociopath, and neither is DJ. This is a good thing, in general. Unfortunately, it made for a rough week for both of us.

It started on Tuesday morning. Something tickled my balls, and I jerked awake to find Brooke slowly bobbing her head up and down my morning wood. On an ordinary Tuesday, I would find this to be a good thing...

... but not today. I didn't want a blowjob today, or any other day for the next seven days at a minimum. I didn't want a blowjob, I didn't want intercourse, and I didn't want an ejaculation of any kind. Not for seven days, and possibly up to two weeks. Why? Because if I did, I'd feel guilty. But I didn't know that, not until that Tuesday morning when I stirred awake to find my cock nudging at my little sister's throat. Unfortunately for me, I knew it now, and because of it I had to reach down and pull Brooke off my dick.

I should explain. The most basic reason for my self-imposed interdiction on orgasms was that to have one would feel unfair. See, the nature of an abortion is that it messes up a woman's internal body. The cervix is dilated and stuff is fucked around with, and not in a good way. End result: DJ couldn't have sex for a minimum of seven days, and the doctor recommended fourteen.

Sure, she could still take me up the backdoor or give me blowjobs, but DJ's issues with sex went way beyond the physical. The abortion was a mental and emotional hammer-blow to the head, and the LAST thing DJ wanted to do once we got home was have ANY kind of sex. Words weren't needed on that point. She knew it. I knew it. She'd been traumatized today, and could possibly be emotionally scarred for the rest of her life. What my fiancée needed right now was comfort, not sex. And she cried herself to sleep Monday night.

But she'd made me a promise. Right after we got engaged, DJ told me I would never again go through a twenty-four hour period without getting off, and so far she'd ensured just that. After our "perfect" fuck on Saturday that left me feeling hollow, DJ had done a much better job on Sunday, and we'd tenderly made love. Then on Monday morning she wanted to feel me one last time before the procedure, crying all the while. Her obvious sadness had made it rather difficult for me to find release, but she insisted and with her milking muscles doing most of the work, she managed to get what she wanted. Of course, two minutes later she started freaking out about the abortion doctors finding sperm in her vagina, and she tried to get Brooke to lick it all out.

The point is: ever since the engagement, DJ had kept her promise. Only I didn't actually consider it a hard and fast "promise", and indeed with everything that was going on I'd forgotten about her decree completely. Even if I HAD remembered, what was happening to us now I certainly would have considered to be a perfectly valid reason to let me go without.

But DJ had remembered, and DJ considered it a promise. At the time she'd said it, I'd told her that she wouldn't be able to be around for the rest of our lives. She'd insisted that in those cases she would find a substitute hottie to take care of me, and she apparently meant it. And after waking early this morning and letting me sleep in, she'd arranged for my little sister to be that substitute.

Here's where the guilt kicks in. I didn't want this orgasm. My first instinct was to let Brooke do her thing, but then I remembered where I was and why I was here. The original plan was for DJ, Brooke, and I to remain with the Evanses until the coming Sunday, which would give us a day and a half to get back into the academic groove before classes resumed on Tuesday the 17th. But instead I was in my room, back at the Berkeley house early, and it was all because of yesterday's procedure.

It didn't seem fair for me to have sexual satisfaction when DJ couldn't. Sharing a girl in a threesome for mutual benefit was one thing. Getting pleasured by Brooke while DJ was momentarily occupied was another. But this? My fiancée was physically out of commission for at least seven days, and potentially could be emotionally out of commission even longer. If she couldn't get relief, then my conscience wouldn't let me get it either.

Brooke understood. She recognized the emotional turmoil her best friend and brother were going through, although from her own perspective, blowing off a little steam would be good for everyone. She herself would feel like she was helping us out. DJ's guilt over not being able to "take care of her man" would be assuaged. And the male (me) would get blissful ejaculations to take my mind of things. I was Ben; this was how I worked.

Until it wasn't how I worked. And that morning was only the beginning.

Brooke and I went downstairs to find that DJ just starting breakfast. Apparently she hadn't expected our arrival for another thirty minutes at least. That led to a heartfelt but rather tense conversation in the kitchen during which we nearly burned our food. DJ was rather preoccupied trying to convince me to go back upstairs with Brooke. But even her insistence that I do it "for her" wasn't enough to make me leave.

I tried to get her to let me finish making breakfast. Brooke tried to convince us both to let HER finish making breakfast. Everyone wanted to do it for the other two, and three stubborn people who are all convinced they know what's best for the others can create quite a mess. Instead of making anyone feel better, we wound up just pissing each other off. But after collectively finishing the food and then eating in silence for about three minutes, our dear love for each other finally started to come through. Once everyone realized that our stubbornness was borne from a desire to support one another, the tears and apologies came forth, and we managed to patch things up.

But that didn't mean we were ready to have sex. In fact, we almost immediately went our separate ways.

Although "The Decision" had been talked to death, I think there's something about that second X-chromosome that causes females to beat a subject even further into the ground after it's dead. Although DJ and Brooke had cemented their bond as each other's best friend, DJ still was quite close to Faye Nguyen and she left with my sister to visit Faye and tell her everything. I stayed behind to clean the house. After so much time away, I was certain that the spiders had moved in en masse and a fine layer of dust had covered every surface possible.

The girls were gone until dinnertime, which I had ready and on the table when they arrived. I didn't ask about how things had gone, but being girls they wanted to share anyway. We talked about "The Decision" some more, which got everyone emotional again, and DJ wound up falling asleep in my arms once more.

Just another day in my life.