Where there’s smoke

[Where there's smoke]

"Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire. That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace." —Victor Borge

[Identity crisis]

"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn't it time she got a place of her own?"

"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."

—Joseph Lozanoff

[Aarrrrgh!]

Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?

They just wash up on shore.

[With a vengeance]

In Denver, the members of a Sunday­-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths. One youngster laboriously printed: "Do one to others as others do one to you." —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

[A taxing situation]

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

—The Link