40

"What? Why? What's wrong with my hair?" Draco's hand automatically came up to pat his head, checking for abnormalities in his normally perfect sheet of white blonde hair.

"Well..." Harry began hesitantly, "It's kind of... shit. And far too fucking much like Lucy's. I mean, do you lot just live in the bloody 15th century or something?" Draco's eyes narrowed and even Harry, in his hung-over state, had the good sense to be afraid. Sirius was sniggering in the background.

"Well then, what would you suggest?" the young Malfoy asked, waspishly. If Harry had had more sense, he would have backed down right then, pretended he had been joking and that he loved his new boyfriend's hair. Unfortunately for him, however, he didn't.

"Cut it. A lot," he said simply, following it up with an indignant "What? I'm not a hairdresser!" when Draco glared at him disbelievingly.

"So to sum up, you've all decided that my hair sucks, but you have no idea what to do with it?" he asked, a distinct whine in his voice. Blaise grinned; finally his Draco was coming out. It was probably just because he was hung-over and still emotionally fragile from his father's letter, but it didn't matter. The mask might finally be coming off.

"Yep," Harry said happily, taking a big slurp from his coffee cup and yelping when it burned the top of his mouth. Remus, being the sensible type he was, began to worry about whether or not that hit to the head had knocked some of Harry's remaining sanity out of him.

"You know what, I do know a really good hairdresser," Ruby piped in, seeing the young blonde begin to pout, playing with strands of his hair sadly.

"Okay, but I seriously need a shower before we go anywhere," Harry said firmly, glaring at his godfather both because it was Padfoot's fault that Harry stunk to high heaven and because he could sense a 'Sirius/serious' joke coming on.

"Come on then, off you trot, pup," Sirius said, pushing his godson out the door and towards the stairs.

"What's the bloody rush? And how are you the only one without a hang-over?" Harry queried, wincing at the pain in his head.

"I'm boooored," Sirius whined, "And I think I'm still drunk to be honest. Now go!"

An hour later, a newly clean and freshly-clothed Harry Potter was walking down a dingy alleyway with what Sirius had drunkenly and happily dubbed 'The Grimmauld Place Crew', after his original suggestion of 'The Lucy is a Stupid Ugly Inbred Motherfucker With the Brain Capacity of a Mole Who Likes to Hump Fish Crew' was turned down on the grounds that it was a) too long and b) too weird.

"Are you sure it's down here?" Neville asked nervously, fingering his wand in his pocket. And no, no that is not a euphemism.

"Yeah, it looks like a dive, but he's the best hairdresser in London, I swear. And put that away," Ruby scolded Neville, "Honestly, it's a wonder all us muggles haven't figured out about you lot, you're not exactly subtle are you?" Luckily, Ruby was saved from the mass of indignant protests by their arrival at a bright blue door with a sign saying 'Legs, now open'.

"Ladies first," Sirius announced, opening the door and gesturing for Harry to go through.

"Why thank you, sir," Harry replied in a high voice as he waltzed through the door, "It's a shame you're so old or you'd be a right good catch."

"Oi!" Sirius protested, cuffing his cheeky godson round the back of the head.

"May I help you?" a deep, amused voice asked. There was a moment of silence as the two wizards simply stared at the man behind the counter, identical grins on their faces. The others filed in behind them just in time to hear them say, almost in perfect unison:

"Fuck, that's good hair." And it was. Shaved on one side, shoulder length on the other with a short, choppy fringe, it was blue with green and purple slices. The man himself was dark skinned and handsome, though he had several scars on his face and neck.

"You know, sometimes you two are so similar it's scary," Ruby told them, pushing her way to the front. "Hey, Dwayne." Dwayne smiled warmly, reaching around the counter to give the blonde girl a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Ruby," he greeted, "To what do I owe the pleasure?" Reaching into the crowd behind her, Ruby grabbed hold of Draco and yanked him forward.

"Oh Christ, I see what you mean," Dwayne said immediately, staring at the scowling teen with barely disguised disgust. "What, is this the 15th century, mate?"

"Bloody hell, do you know who you're talking to?" Draco burst out, "If he hears about this, my father will-" All the blood drained out of Draco's face and the group stood around awkwardly for a minute, none looking at the others except from Dwayne who stood behind the counter with his eyebrows raised in curiosity. Finally, the young blonde breathed out an enormous sigh and stomped over to sit at one of the stations. "Don't you dare dye my hair. Other than that, do what you like." He sounded weary but determined and Harry smiled, bounding over to ruffle his boyfriend's hair and give him a kiss on the forehead.

"Atta boy, love," he said happily.

"Right, this could take a while, I'm warning you all now," Dwayne said as he took out his scissors and began eyeing Draco critically in the mirror.

"But I'm bored already," Sirius whined and the group heaved a collective sigh.

"Take him shopping or something, would you Ruby?" Harry pleaded.

"Yeah, alright then. Anyone else coming?" She looked at Remus hopefully, but he shook his head with a smile, taking a seat next to Harry. Neville and Blaise both made noises of agreement though, to Harry and Draco's surprise.

"See you later, fuckers!" Sirius called cheerfully as he almost ran out of the door, the others following at a more sedate pace.

"Right," Dwayne said happily, "This is what we're going to do."

Later that evening, the elder Malfoy was in a far more perilous situation than that of his son. His hair and skin still multicoloured, and his nails still infected, he knelt on the hard floor of the old Riddle mansion, with the spirit of his master before him.

"Lucius," Voldemort spoke, drawing out the 's', making it almost a hiss, "You have been gone so long."

"I am sorry, My Lord, I have only just discovered your location. If I had heard even a hint of where you may be before this I would have-"

"There have been more than hints, more than rumours! Why then, is it that Wormtail here could find me whilst you could not?" Wormtail quivered in the corner, terrified of being noticed. Being noticed usually meant he was going to be punished, and he had no wish for that to happen.

"I tried, My Lord, I tried!" Lucius wailed.

"Crucio," Voldemort hissed calmly, and whilst it wasn't up to his usual standard, the curse was still enough to make his servant scream out in pain as he writhed on the floor. "No matter. You are here now. I trust that you bring me good news?"

"The best, My Lord," the eldest Malfoy managed to croak, his throat raw from screaming. "My son, My Lord, though he is a traitorous little slime, has presented us a very easy way to get Harry Potter."

"I'm still not sure," Draco whined, running his fingers yet again over his new hair. Still white blonde, it had been shaved down both sides with a thick strip of hair left down the middle, which was roughly spiked up.

"You look fucking gorgeous," Harry announced, smirking at the annoyed look on his boyfriend's face.

"Don't worry, Draco," Remus said gently, "Strangely enough, it really does suit you." Draco looked up in surprise. He still wasn't quite used to how nice his ex-professor was to him, not when you took into account how much of a brat Draco had been to him last year.

"See, even Moony likes it! Now stop fussing and lets go to the pub," Harry declared, grabbing hold of Draco and Remus and dragging them down the street.

"But don't we have to meet Blaise and everyone?" Draco asked hopefully. He still hadn't gotten over last night and he wasn't yet convinced that more alcohol was the cure for that.

"They can meet us there. Besides, if I know Sirius at all, he's probably already there, already gotten into at least one fucking fight and is most definitely already pissed," Harry said happily.

"Is this really how they live?" Draco asked Remus as Harry bounded ahead.

"You kind of get used to it," the werewolf said kindly, though he had an amused sparkle in his eyes, "It's just how they are. They love it, the energy, the atmosphere, the fights, all of it. It's just how they let go, I suppose. And besides, they both deserve some fun, their lives haven't exactly been perfect. And neither have ours, so perhaps this is in our best interests as well." The young Slytherin looked resignedly up at Remus, who had a big grin on his face. Gryffindors, he thought, were most certainly a different species altogether.