The McPuffin Part 5

The McPuffin Part 5

\____-o(X)o-_____/​

"Oi! Listen up!"

The various nobility and faux-nobility continued to scream and panic and be idiots as the rest of the Eyepatch pirates locked down the ballroom we were in. With a sigh, I hopped up onto Barley's shoulders with a jump, balancing on the tall man's shoulders as I raised my pistol to the sky, firing it. The crack of the flintlock enough to make the various idiots yelp, "Oi! Shut up and listen up!"

Certain I had their attention, I swept the barrel of the gun across the gathered crowd, "We're here for your money, not your lives! You cooperate, and you get to sail away from here just a little poorer. You give us trouble and we start breaking kneecaps."

Didn't really like doing this, but I was the best choice out of the Eyepatch pirates. I was strong enough even at eight years old to handle anyone that was stupid enough to make trouble, but still too weak to be better suited to protecting the ships from suddenly Marines! That and I actively avoided hurting people more so than the other crew members at my level, and a runt of a kid threatening to shoot you in the knee is way creepier than you'd expect at first laugh.

"Now I'm gonna go around with a sack, and y'all are gonna hand off all of your jewelry, belly, and fancy expensive stuff you've got on you. Anyone tries anything funny and you meet the business end of my pistol." Not really, I'd pistol whip them though. I'd come to a decision not to kill again if I had any control over it at all.

Dropping off of Barley's shoulders, I unslung the large sack from my belt and shook it open as I approached the crowd. Most of the rest of the crew would be scouring the ship for the cash on this cruise liner.

"Alright chubby, pay up, all the rings," I poked a rotund man in the belly with my gun. The blubbery man stammered as he started to work the too tight rings off of his chubby fingers and put them into the sack.

We'd already gathered everyone into the ballroom, there shouldn't be anyone else on the ship, the few guards they'd had weren't up to snuff defending against us. We'd only had to kill two thank god. The rest were tied up. Whoever had decided to use this route was an idiot by the by, this cruise liner was woefully undefended even by Blue standards.

I moved along through the crowd systematically, and I was grateful for how unsettling a kid like me doing this was because it meant I only got weird looks rather than anything meaningful. There were a few whimpers and such, though that was probably because of the ring of Eyepatch pirates around the crowd and blocking off the exits. One of the younger noble women was hyperventilating as I approached, clutching her chest.

I sighed and poked her in the stomach with my pistol, "Oi. The money."

So she fainted.

Cue facepalm.

Slinging the bag back into my belt, I reached down with my freed up hand to check her pulse just in– oh fuck me sideways!

I dropped my pistol and dropped my head to her corset-clad chest, pressing my ear just below her breasts as I listened. Her heart was palpitating, I could barely hear it properly, the beats were entirely out of synch-! She was having a heart attack!

"Fuck!" pulling up, I pressed my hands just below her ribcage and began compressions, "Barley! Grab my kit from the Patch!"

"What-?" the tall blonde man stiffened at my sudden shout, before quickly "Which one?!"

"Wha-What's happening?" one of the nobles asked, but I ignored him.

"The one right to the left of the medical box! In my lab!" I stopped compressions for just an instant, pressing my head to her chest again, I couldn't hear her heartbeat or breathing. Shit. No! Another round of compressions! "It's labeled Defibrillator! Grab it! Now!" And Barley was gone, rushing out of the ballroom.

"What are you doing to her?!" One of the braver nobles stepped forward, blubbering.

"Saving her life you dumbass!" I snapped as I continued compressions, "She's in the middle of a heart attack!"

The corset was too tight, and there was metal supports in it, I'd have to remove it to use the defibrillator, especially considering how jury-rigged the damn thing was. A quick breath as I pinched off her nose and blew fresh oxygen into her mouth before returning to the compressions.

"W-We don't have a doctor on this ship! What are we going to do?!"

"G-Get away from her you pirate–!" One of the fat nobles waddled over, raising a trembling fist, but was cut off by a gunshot over his head.

"Oi! Stay away from the kid!" Chugo stepped up, waving about the massive cleaver in his hand to get me some space.

"Could you please shut up and let me work?!" I snapped, trying to stagger the compressions properly and not use too much strength. I didn't want to break her ribcage damnit.

"Florida, what are you doing?" Chugo whispered back at me.

"Saving her fucking life, what the fuck does it look like I'm doing?" I wouldn't be the source of another death, not if I had fucking anything to say about it! The sensation of gray matter beneath my nails flashed through my mind but I pushed it away. What was taking Barley so long?! He was the fastest member of the crew damnit! "Where's that damn defibrillator?!"

"She's a noble, so what if–"

"Do you want the nobility to hike our bounty because one of theirs died because of us?" I snapped, interrupting the large man, "And I don't know about you, but I don't want another death on my conscience!"

I paused, blowing another fresh breath of air into the overweight noblewoman's mouth before resuming the compressions.

"Florida, I've got the de-fibby thing-!"

"Give it!" I said as I pulled the knife from my boot.

"Wh-What are you doing to Lady Maude?!"

With a quick motion of my hand, I sliced open her bodice, "Saving her life! We need to reset her heart!" Barley came to a halt beside me, setting down the box that I'd stuffed the ghetto defibrillator into, "Barley, crack that open and crank the handle as fast as you can!" I commanded as I continued the compressions.

I paused, listening to her chest once more, still no meaningful heartbeat, "Damnit." Pushing the stupid corset wide I grabbed the electrodes of the defibrillator, little more than pieces of copper with rubber handles and a pair of buttons to complete the circuit and shouting, "Stand clear!"

The crowd jerked backwards at the shout even as I pressed the paddles appropriately and pressed the buttons, the noblewoman's chest jerking upwards disturbingly before she dropped back to the ballroom floor. There were gasps and little yelps at that, the fat woman still deathly quiet on the floor, I dropped my head back to her chest, holding the electrodes out wide.

Nothing. Damnit.

"Barley! Crank it again! Stop when I tell you to!" I slapped the electrodes back into their rubber holdings and immediately returned to performing compressions on her chest. Barley quickly moved the handle, and I kept an eye on the little needle I'd installed to indicate the charge in the capacitor.

I watched it carefully as my arms pumped in measured movements, gritting my teeth at the relatively slow rate of increase. One of the nobles spoke up from outside the circle Chugo had cleared, "What… what are you doing?"

"Using an electric current to reset the contractions of her heart," I grunted out, and even with my nearly superhuman ability for my size, I was still only eight and working with a lady that had to be over two fifty pounds of blubber– there!

"Barley!" the man let go of the handle even as I grabbed the electrodes, "Stand clear!" The crowd shuffled as I placed the electrodes against her once more, left above her breast and the right at the bottom of her ribcage on the right side, I pressed the triggers.

Her chest lifted off of the ballroom floor briefly before dropping back down and I swiftly pressed my ear back to her chest, listening closely.

*lub-dub – lub-dub*

A sigh of relief escaped me as I pulled my head back, the tension and panic in my chest easing. I'd… I didn't want to kill again…

'Breathing is shaky, but she is breathing… good.' Setting the electrodes back down into their holders, I re-packed the defibrillator back up, "There, no more heart attack."

"Lady Maude isn't going to die…?"

"No." I confirmed, standing, "But if she doesn't eat healthier and get some fucking cardio in this will just be a brief respite before her heart gives out on her." I slung the box over my shoulder, the strap on it allowing it to rest there as the nobility and pseudo-nobles muttered amongst one another.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. I might not be able to stop the Eyepatch pirates from killing people any more, but I could avoid it. "Alright. Oi!" I unslung the partially filled sack from my hip and shook it open, "Now that that bit of excitement is over, let's get back to it!"

"You're still robbing us?!" one of the older noblewomen asked shrilly, "But you just saved Lady Maude!"

"Oi! Just because I don't want you to die doesn't mean I don't want money!" Though, to be fair, it was mostly because that's what Captain Billy had ordered, I'd have made money in other ways if I'd really had a choice.

I didn't want to be a pirate or consider myself such, but I did live with them.

-o Tom o-​

I slowly lowered the crate of flour down into the hold of the Cake, gripping the rope tightly and trying to ease the several hundred pounds of flour down slowly.

"Hng."

"Ohhhh… Akira… you shouldn't have!"

Giving my head a shake, I grit my teeth as I moved my hands one over the other, my muscles straining as I lowered the half ton of flour down bit by bit. The only members of the crew that were under fifty were Florida and Bonney herself, and most of us were over sixty. And far too much of the crew were dirty old men in my opinion. We sailed to sail, for treasure and the high seas!

"Hng."

The ship's doctor had a rose in his mouth, arms crossed in front of his chest as he talked to a few of the ladies he always seemed to gather at port. The man's expression never changed as he romanced the women.

"Kyaaa~" The girls squeeled, wiggling in place, "Oh Akira! You're so romantic!"

"Hey! Akira!" I shouted over the rail, struggling to keep my footing while lowering the mass of supplies, "A little hand here?!"

"Hng." The man apologized to them, and the ladies around him swooned. He reached up, pulling the rose from his mouth and handing it off to one of the women, "Hng."

"Oh! Akira…" the dark skinned woman said breathily, fanning herself as she took the rose, "You have such a way with words!"

I rolled my eyes even as the rope burned against my hands as I eased the crate further down. It wasn't that I didn't want them to have fun, but if we were leaving before the end of the day then I'd need help. Sure, I was stronger than anyone in the crew except for Bonney and Florida and maybe Rodger, and he didn't want to get dragged into an arm wrestling contest to decide which of us was stronger.

But two men couldn't entirely load up a ship with hundreds of pounds of food by themselves.

"Hng."

"Kyaaa~! So romantic~<3"

"Akira! Now please!"

-o Bonney o-​

I yawned slightly, walking through the town, my stomach starting to grumble.

My mom always said that attacking a place you plan to trade in is a stupid decision, but the way this island was I didn't want to risk going after local warlords or such. Even though it was in the middle of a war and would normally be ripe for the picking… I couldn't pass my crew off as kids here, the population was too dark skinned for anyone in my crew to pass as locals, any 'kids' would be spotted immediately. Our usual tactics just didn't work here. And being too aggressive would've been stupid. I wasn't going to risk my ship and my crew without good reason.

Speaking of good reasons, I was keeping an eye out for a fucking restaurant damnit.

The town was decent sized, mostly straw huts with some more brick-like buildings further out, and it shouldhave at least a few restaurants on it! This was the calmest port on the island, it was deep in Zwide's territory, so it was as far from the civil war as possible, and the town certainly seemed calm.

I didn't know where the lines were drawn, and the last information the Gothic Islands had was months old.

And… oh? Is that a restaurant…? It certainly looked like one!

A grin spread across my face and I walked quickly over towards it, breathing in deep… 'Mmm… now that is an interesting smell… what in the Grand Line are they cooking?'

-oOo-​

"F-Florida?"

"Mm?" I grunted, lifting the cart of coke and dumping it into the smelter. Couldn't blame him for being nervous, I was basically a living statue of steel right now.

I'd been working at this all day, and it was rather nice to just lose myself in menial labor. Just pick up fuel, dump it into smelter, keep the bellows working, fiddle with the smelter some and strain stuff through appropriately, then pour out steel into mold.

… okay, it was more complex than that, but it was rote for me and menial labor at this point.

The apprentice shuffled his feet, "Ah, there's… someone here looking for you?"

"Older man?" I grunted as I lifted the large cart back over my head and carefully set it back in place. The thing was nearly the size of me. The only people that should be looking for me on this island were Bonney's crew… "A little chubby and probably with a beard and a hat?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Nng, alright." A quick glanced confirmed that it was approaching night time. Damn, I'd gotten a good bit made, but not all that I'd wanted… I should have enough to make a vertical drill rig and a diving suit as well as a few other things to go with it, but not everything I'd need to recreate my lab. Eh, it'd have to do for now. Pulling my foot from the bellows I hollered out towards the clanging of hammers in the forge proper, "Oi! Io! My ship's leaving! How much do I owe you?!"

"How much steel do you have?!" she bellowed back.

I looked over to the beams I'd shaved off of the blocks I'd been pouring for her, some of them still glowing a dull red. I'd used my Rankyaku to hack off the end pieces of the slabs for myself before cutting up the rest into ingots for Io and her apprentices to use. Cutting steel with the air pressure from my martial arts wasn't something I'd been sure I could do, but with steel fingernails…? Eyup.

A quick glance at the apprentice, who was only about my size really, "You might want to get on the bellows."

"Ah! Right!" He scurried to work the air pump beneath the smelter, blowing air through the coke to maintain the heat in the smelter.

"Looks to be about three quarters of a ton!" I shouted towards the forge. The building was a more adobe or brick-like substance than most of the ones in the port town, with different sections and a mostly open roof. The smeltery was separated from the forge which was separated from the sales area. Io had put basically everyone she had to working on stamping out those broad spear heads, letting me take over the actual smelting portion of the process after declaring it 'satisfactory'.

"฿4500!" Io shouted over the clanging of hammers.

"Cheapskate!" I shouted back at her as I carefully grabbed the bottom beam and raised the stack to my shoulder, hissing a bit at the contact of the hot steel against my metal skin. I'd been uncomfortable in the heat of the forge until I'd shifted into my metal form, at which point it had become a pleasant warmth at worst. But the molten steel itself and the smeltery had hurt, like, not in the distant way most damage hurt while I was metal but actually hurt. But it took a lot. If that was my elemental weakness, at least it wasn't moisture, but I'd have to confirm that while we were out at sea. "I worked for you all day!"

"You're slower than my own workers!" she shouted back. Which, to be fair, I was. Super strength and limited invulnerability were quite helpful with this, but I was out of practice.

"I worked in bulk! And freed up two of them!" I countered as I grabbed my jacket and slung it over my free shoulder.

"฿4000 then!"

… well that was quick.

"Deal!" Settling it into place, I began to root around in the pocket of my pants for the belly notes I'd set aside for today.

Walking through the blacksmithery, I was careful with the sizable slab, mostly due to the sizzling heat coming off of it. I found Io with her back to the smeltery, using a hammer that was nearly the size of my head to smack away at the hot metal on the anvil.

My eyes traced over the blacksmith, in part because I was looking for where to leave her money, in part because you could've bounced a quarter off of that ass. Dayum. I spoke over the clanging of the hammers against hot metal, "Where do you want it?"

The looks she gave me told me she knew exactly what I'd just said and did not find it amusing. I grinned just a bit, 'Ah well.'

She saw the stack of belly in my free hand though and gestured with the absurd hammer at one of the nearby tables which had a growing stack of cooled spear heads on it. As she resumed beating the metal into shape, she called out, "Anan! Get over here and double check that he's put enough!"

"Yes boss!" Another man, a bit closer in size to that of his boss, shouted from one of the other anvils.

Setting the belly down on the designated table, I saluted the nearly eight foot of blacksmith, "Right then, should be back in a month to check up on my sword! Have fun!"

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out!"

"Awww! You do like me!" I teased. She was grumpy and overworked, but not a bad person–

In an honestly impressive display of physicality, Io snatched up a smaller hammer from beside her and threw it in a single smooth motion, making me dive to the side to avoid getting the hunk of metal in the face.

*Crack!*

'Wow. Embedded itself into the brick…' I raised an eyebrow, but grinned, "Getting, getting."

Ducking through the doorway, I stepped out into the actual 'shop' region of the smithery, finding Tom standing there rather confused. I raised an eyebrow even as I let my body relax back into flesh, leaving my shoulder as metal to avoid letting my shirt catch fire, "What?"

Tom shook his head, "You're crazy, you know that right?"

"Uh… duh?" I grinned, "I just try to be a productive kind of crazy."

Tom smiled just a bit, the two missing teeth dark spots in the smile as he shook his head, "C'mon, Captain Bonney wanted to see you."

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The Mcpuffin Part 5 End