We could pretend i guess? (Part 3)

Ben's POV.

Since father had found another means of making money he didn't need to collect from mother anymore, which meant mother always had little money left after buying groceries to spend on her baby.

Mother had gone out as usual after making my favorite meal (spaghetti meatballs) that day which i don't get often unless its a special occasion which was my birthday today.

Father had brought friends home again and as usual i was asked to go play with them. By now I'd stopped fighting them because father said he'd kill my mother and make me watch if i didn't do as he'd asked, then kill me too afterwards.

So now i just let them do whatever they want with me just to get it over with, I'd become numb to pain but they were two of them this time.

What father wasn't expecting though was having my mother back home early that day, mother had been saving up for a birthday present for me you see and she was finally going to grant me my and one wish since forever...a brand new bicycle, only for her to walk through the door and saw what they were doing to her baby and she just lost it.

I remember her screaming her lungs out, asking father how long it has been going on behind her back. I remember father slamming her on the table. I remember mama asking me to go get help and I remember just taking my new bicycle and riding it to the Smiths household screaming.

"Help! Help! help!!!" Repeatedly and when we rushed back five minutes later my childhood home was in flames, four adults bodies were found...no survivors. The cops, fire service, child welfare services all came and i couldn't talk to anyone about what really transpired behind those burnt doors and a month later it was ruled as an accident and i was an orphan at the age of twelve, my parents buried together with the truths.

With no known relatives to contact they were going to put me in the system but the Smiths took me in and raised me as their own, It wasn't really much of a change since I'd known the Smiths my whole life and their only son Aaron has been my best friend since diapers days.

I used to have nightmares, terrible horrible ones. Some days i will trash, scream and even hyperventilate. Mrs Smith was always there when i needed her with love, care, support and her understanding eyes silently telling me everything will be okay.

As i got older the nightmares got worse so i was put in therapy. But i couldn't really talk to her or anyone about what really happened of course, instead i learnt how to manage my nightmares so they would believe therapy was helping and suddenly i became so good at hiding it you wouldn't know even if you slept in the same room as me.

I focused all my energy towards school and anything that will fetch me money because I'd believe that if i was rich i wouldn't experience the same thing my parents did, boy was i wrong! With my little savings and that of Aaron and so much help from the Smiths, we started our very own law firm after graduating at the age of twenty one with honors in law.

And at the age of twenty five we were the best and hottest duo in the city but the nightmares never left until i met Rainbow a year later. She was just twenty years old at the time...my goodness she was beautiful. I'd been secretly watching her for a while before the whole demolition fiasco without having the guts to talk to her, i didn't want be seen as pedophile.

I was six years older than her for God's sake! But after that day; she became mine and everything was perfect. When nightmares will come at night I'd only think of Rainbow's smiling face and they will go away, i was the happiest person on earth even after she became my wife.

I didn't want to share her with anyone else, she was all mine and she was okay with it because i was all hers too. Then i started having dark thoughts after two years of our marriage. I could hear his voice telling to do bad stuff, telling me it was just a matter of time before Rainbow leaves me.

He was calling me a coward for keeping quiet about everything that happened, he'd often say i liked what those monsters did to me. I even started seeing him through Rainbow's smiles too.

The nightmares were coming back and this time i was having issues keeping them bay. I was so scared. I'd see his smirking face any time Rainbow leaves the house telling me she would find someone better than me.

I was becoming more and more angry as the days goes by until i finally snapped and hit her. The thing is...i saw myself hitting him and all those men and women that hurt me every time i hit her. But when i stopped and it was my sweet Rainbow I'd hurt i just couldn't handle the shame, let alone explain what was going on to her.

I ran away like the coward i am instead, and I'm ashamed to say I've hurt her repeatedly but i still can't let her go because if i do then my father would have been right all along when he said i would never be good enough for anyone.

Author's Note...

Awwwn my poor baby Benji...I'm was crying so hard when writing this chapter. Rape is bad, be it on a girl child or a boy child. men and women are being raped every day around the world. And so many have lived with such secrets unable to speak about it because of discrimination. Its our duties as siblings, spouse, parents, colleagues, neighbors and friends to create rooms and atmosphere for relationships that will allow others to speak freely about all forms of abuse