#2: Being A General

(Huang Lei P.o.v)

It has been a week and a half since we started our journey to the capital.

"General, there are bandits up this mountain and it would take a lot of time to cross through the plains, What shall we do my lord?", said a soldier while bowing to me.

"Let's go through the mountain, if we can, lets invade the bandit's lair, we would be killing two birds with one stone. keeping order and coming in time.", I said.

"As you say my lord.", he bowed once again and left.

"Isn't he quite expressionless, he never shows his displeasure or happiness, he is a lazy person but still maintains a normal expression. That is one heck of a skill right?", said Captain Xiao Li

"I doubt it to be a skill, I think he is too lazy to show out his expression. but when it comes to war, and fights, he does use his head and body well, but if you remove the fact that after every fight he sleeps for three hours like a log, he would probably be one of the best.", I said, staring at the map which was spread out.

"Hmm. I will get going, It is time to eat. Should I ask them to get you something? or you want to save the rations like always?"

"I would like an apple, that's it."

"Fine, it is useless for me to try to force you to eat more. Bye.", he left, walking like a corpse towards the other tent.

I am not so stingy as to save the rations, but after killing many, I just can't eat suddenly. Though my appearance is that of a cruel and cold general, I am slightly weak. The first time I entered the battlefield was when I was 12, alongside my father, the great general, Fan Lei, and my elder brother, Qing Lei.

It was a scary experience, I never knew a human body could be cut so easily, I threw up the first time I saw what would happen to prisoners of war, my father from then on gave me an even more gruesome training, where I had to kill a traitor before food. If I didn't he would take me to the torture grounds.

For the whole year, I was haunted by nightmares and nausea. Then, the next year, I witnessed the betrayal of a soldier, he killed my father in front of me, but my father just looked me in the eye and told, be brave and ruthless but also compassionate, his last words were, 'The strong never really die, they just take a break. be strong and lead us to victory.'

It was a moment I had never been prepared for, I never even imagined the possibility of my father being killed so easily. I was totally shaken. My brother had gotten severely injured. I was the only one left, I lead the war by staying in vanguard.

I was shaking in fear, but I noticed the soldiers were more distraught than me, Father had always been like a pillar to them, a light to lead them. Without my father or my brother, I could see their panic.

The trust between soldiers, is different from that of family but at the same time feels like family. When you have faced adversities together as allies and fought together, by observing the other person, that trust is built. The soldiers completely trusted my father.

So much that they would gladly walk alongside him to hell if he ordered it. But it was in chaos then. I had no choice but to hide my fears and put on a brave front for my people, losing the border would only mean more killing and leading people to death, I somehow motivated them to fight for their families and asked them to trust me.

I successfully protected the border, the other side retreated. The trust between us grew and I continued keeping the cold and stern front, I never got over my fear of war. I am still a coward. I am a helpless person.

When I turned 16, my brother got injured and couldn't use his left hand anymore, thankfully, his dominant hand was right. From then on, I lead many battles, with 14 victories and 3 losses. It was scary. Every time I return to sleep, the nightmares still comeback.

During a spy mission to the barbarian lands, I rescued a slave, he was Xiao Li, he had been sold as a fighter in those arenas, where slaves had to fight against beasts.

It was a cruel game, either way you would die, when you won't fight back the beast may just severe your arms and legs, you will be alive, but if you kill the beast, you have to die.

He had killed the beast, and had to die. I could see he had no passion to live, but had his dignity and self respect though he and I were the same age. I then raided the whole city, in the process rescuing him, I had set him along with the other slaves free, but he stuck with me, begging to be servant.

I trained him to be a soldier. With his talent and skill he came up to the position of a captain. Now, my mind has become a bit used to the blood and killing. I can now kill a person as easy as swatting a fly on the battlefield.

I have sealed away my twelve year old gentle self away. That sweet and gentle boy is no more. Now my interest lies only in war. It is now the purpose of my life, protecting the borders and my country.

The emperor and my father were enemies, they had a kind of bitter-sweet relationship, because my father married the princess, the emperor's favorite sister. from when they were kids they were rivals, at the same time, trusted each other like brothers.

In front of the officials and other all people, it seems as though he hates me and doesn't trust me, because he never gave me the total power of the general. All the officials think emperor never spoke kindly with me. But actually.

The emperor likes me a bit too much. He comes almost every week, and hugs me, till I turned 7, he would carry me in his lap and be overly friendly, father used to call him a pedophile, but I know he just loves to express his love for us. Big brother too experienced it.

I need to go to the emperor and get declared as the general, though all call me general, I in fact haven't yet received the general's seal. That old uncle is always reluctant to send me out in the battlefield.

"Hey General, we need to go if we must defeat the bandits.", shouted Xiao Li.

"All right! Let's go ahead."

*In the Mountains*

"Wooo~h... It is so cool, It feels like some ghosts are roaming, they say when a ghost passes through your body you get a cool feeling with shivers. Do you think its true?"

"Don't know whether its true or not, I heard there are female and orphan ghosts roaming here." Few soldiers were going on muttering about ghosts and stuff.

"Hey! General, What do you think, are you afraid of ghosts?", Xiao Li asked by pulling his horse beside mine.

"Hmm"

"Hey! Say!", He asked again.

"Hmm. I am not interested in ghosts. I don't particularly hate, get scared of, like or see any ghosts.", I answered, trying to look forward.

"hm. You don't wanna share ghost stories and rumors like others, so let's talk about the current rumor about you in the town and barracks.", he said sticking quite close to me, I really wonder how he can come so near by being on a horse.

"Which rumor?", I asked. slightly curious, just slightly.

"About your marital status and your romance!", he said slowly while smiling like a sheep.

"What? Romance? Gross... I don't plan on having a romance nor marriage."

"General, all say that, but end up falling in love, well there is a talk, people think you may get married to the princess envoy from the other state! There are rumors that you both have had chance encounters like fate! and she is a real beauty! so tell me, is it true?"

"Are you out of your mind? Princess envoy is already married and has grandkids, she is 74 yrs old! but yes, she has a beautiful air around her.", I replied.

I know the princess envoy, she came last year and I was the one always escorting her, she refrained from showing her face to others, for reasons which I don't know. She is a kind lady, she treats every one with respect, How dare Xiao Li to even spout such nonsense about her!

"So she is an old lady? hmm... How about the rumor that you like a commoner and had her only serve you when you came to an inn in capital?"

"It was a young girl of 7 or 8 yrs, she served me by folding my clothes and arranging my books, she was the only servant who didn't know how to read. So, I only let her touch the military account books.", I said.

"Damn it! she is also not a lover. Ok now tell me what is your best type of a woman? a smart martial girl? a homely girl? a warrior? a poet? a vain girl? an obsessive girl? a good cook? what?", Xiao Li asked with a desperate plea.

"Hmm... To say honestly I have never thought about an ideal type of wife or woman for me. I would probably like a woman who graceful, taciturn and knowledgeable, I would prefer a woman who likes the same poetry as me. I could probably share my preferences with her.", I said, I stopped imagining.

My imagination was of a pink-red dressed girl, with long black hair, covering her face with a fan, shyly looking up to meet my eyes, while we were sitting out and discussing about poems, where she recited a poem. I couldn't see any face, but the eyes were clear brown.

My imagination itself made me feel fluffy near the chest, it was a feeling unknown to the General Huang Lei. It must be the cold of the mountains or some ghosts. Right?

We went on and set camp ahead as the night had begun to fall, I sent a few elite soldiers and three regular soldiers to find the lair of the bandits.

The elites sent the signal that they had found the location and all other parties retreated and begun marching towards the spot.

"General! we have found the lair and have already captured the bandits before you could arrive as they were about to attack a young lady.", the elite soldier which I had sent to identify the location of the lair said.

"Confirm once again the number of bandits and make sure there is not one left free, capture the loot and give it equally among people whether rich, noble or poor. If there are hostages take care of the hostages with respect.", I commanded.

"General! the hostages are an old lady, probably the lady of the village, her grandson, a young lady, probably taken for their own entertainment.", said a soldier.

"Take me near the hostages"

As I went towards the tent where they were being taken care of, Xiao Li disappeared somewhere.

I went in alone and saw it was a young lady crying with her long hair almost brushing the floor as she sat and bent her head. Her dress was in tatters and she kept on muttering..

"The wind blows coldly...n- not letting me br-breathe... fear... not d-dear ...i-it is but a dream-"

It was a line from the poem my mother taught me once and told me to recite it whenever I had a bad dream. I was suddenly reminded of my imagination, my perfect type of woman....

"which is just overpowering your mind, conquer your heart's shaken resolve for you have a day ahead." I continued.

She looked up, her face covered with a veil, showing only her clear brown eyes, tears falling from each eye like dew drops from a leaf. I was making comparisons which I had never done before.

Again. That fluffy feeling, I don't know why I am not disgusted by this weird feeling but rather look forward to it more and more.

"How do you know this poem?', I asked.

"My mother taught it to me, my lord. I recite it whenever I am afraid, I am s-sorry you grace, I showed you a depressing state of mine", she said while bowing while covering her almost torn clothing.

"It doesn't matter, I will take care of you in our tent, we shall send you back to your village if you tell us from which village you have come.", I said while giving her my cloak.

She blushed slightly and said, "Thank you. my lord. But forgive me for my village has already been destroyed and there are no one nor anything left. If I maybe bold enough, I would like to follow your party towards the capital and seek refuge there."

"All right.", This girl's voice made me want to protect her and care for her.

"General! what all you have ordered is being carried out, the old lady and her grandson have met up with their family. All is done except for this young lady.", said Xiao Li looking at her with contempt.

"My My General, have you caught a snake? cause it seems so to me.", he said with a mocking tone.

"Mind your language captain, this lady is travelling with us to the capital, we shall provide her with her needs till then, if you don't like her, then bear with it, the capital is only twelve hours away.", I said or basically commanded him, It made no sense that he could shout at this pitiful woman the second he saw her!

Soon we all begun our travels, we left in the break of dawn, I shared my horse with the young lady as we came to the capital.