My name is Guo Jia, I am thirty-one years old now. Because I had a shadow of self-doubt (I liked to peek into people's privacy since I was a child), I chose the Department of Psychology of the Fifth Military Medical University at the turning point in my life when applying for college. The scores are not high, the tuition is free, and you get a salary when you go to school. It is an excellent choice for every lazy person. After several years of college career, he was assigned to work in the college's psychological counseling center. I feel at ease in this job where I can ask as many questions as I want about the privacy of patients who come for consultation without having to worry about getting beaten. www,
Unfortunately, there are too few people in China who are willing to come for psychological counseling. Most people equate mental illness with neurosis. Therefore, it is rare to have the opportunity to let go and express myself, and I have never met any beautiful girls who can come to consult on sexual issues in my fantasy. oh! By the way, it's not like there is no one. When I first started working, I met a very beautiful young sister. When I heard the knock on the door and looked up to see such a beautiful girl coming to consult about psychological problems, how could I not be so excited that I immediately rushed up to hold the beautiful girl's hand and chatted for a while.
When I first talked about the importance of sexual mental hygiene and the dangers of mental depression during menstruation from the distress of first menstruation during the pubertal development of girls, before I talked about the matters that women after menopause should pay attention to, one of my I couldn't even open my eyes, and then I fainted. I later learned that this girl was the one the director of the center was planning to introduce to me. The girl was very generous when she arrived. She said she wanted to see people first and came to my place. As a result, she, who had practiced martial arts, used her fists that could burst sandbags to gently comfort me twice, and naturally the target was not the same. Then I got the nickname "Menstrual Doctor", and since then no one has been willing to be my matchmaker. Unfortunately, I am still alone and struggling to pry into other people's privacy.
"Dang! Dang! Dang!" Someone knocked on the door and said, "Is Doctor Yue here?"
I am speechless. Those crazy little female soldiers and nurses have carried forward my nickname from generation to generation, and each generation is stronger than the previous generation as the waves behind the Yangtze River push the waves ahead. She used to scream secretly behind my back, then she screamed in a low voice when joking, and now she screams loudly in front of me every day!
The door was pushed open, and two little faces with sweet smiles came in from the door: "Dr. Yue, please come again!"
You smile so sweetly, speak so gently, and still call me you. Humph... Showing courtesy for nothing is not a traitor but a thief! Resolutely ignore it.
Two young nurses sneaked up to the opposite side of my table and said, "Doctor Yue, do you believe in gods and ghosts?"
I stood up and looked at the two little girls sternly and said: "I am a psychiatrist, not a magician. You two were born under the red flag, grew up in the new society, have been educated by the party for many years, and you are also in the melting pot of the army. I'm a fool. I haven't been practicing for more than a year. How can I believe in those feudal superstitions!" It's been a long time since I've been able to educate people so happily, and I feel so beautiful.
"Stop pretending to be pure. Who went to the temple on the mountain the day before yesterday to kowtow and worship, and said that if he could give me a wife, he would do anything to fulfill his wish." The two little girls tore off the The veil of hypocrisy also revealed my true face. Two days ago, I couldn't stand the loneliness and went to the temple to ask the Buddha to help me find a wife. But how did they know about this? I didn't expect that they have such profound skills in peeking into people's privacy. It would be better to communicate with each other if we have the opportunity in the future.
Thinking about how my dignified major military doctor could be stumped by two small superior soldiers, I said with great righteousness: "I combined theory with practice and used practical methods to determine the non-existence of ghosts and gods. The biggest difference between materialism and idealism The point is practice. Do you understand? We must use theory as the basis and practice as the criterion. Starting from ourselves, we must mobilize the masses to resolutely and thoroughly abandon the set of fallacies and heresies of feudal superstition."
"Depend on!"
Being so rude will make it impossible for you two to get married in your lifetime.
The two little girls said with expressions of contempt for you: "Stop talking nonsense, Doctor Yue. We want to ask you something serious." It turns out that these two girls have always heard someone talking outside the window during the last few night shifts, but I went out and saw no one.
After hearing what they said, I asked mentally: "Are you two sure that you are not suffering from adolescent delusions or a lack of multilateral communication hallucination caused by excessive two-way chatting during long night shifts?"
"You have Alzheimer's disease and a lack of religious affiliation in your spouse!" These two girls do not abide by the traditional Chinese virtues of hitting someone but not slapping them in the face, and scolding people but not exposing their shortcomings. Not a single one of the Three Obediences and Four Virtues can be seen in them, not even one of respecting the elderly and caring for the young. Whoever marries them is considered unlucky, and they strongly despise the modern education system.
In order to get rid of these two plague gods, I had to gather my strength and ask: "So, tell me what you heard?"
One of the two little girls ran to the door, looked at it, and then locked the door. The other went to the window, looked out the window, then closed the window and drew the curtains. Then two people came to me one after another, and their two beautiful faces were just a few centimeters away from my face. Didn't they want to molest me? Although I really want to find someone to carry out such a great cause as human reproduction, I can't stand two people at once.
"We heard: On the 15th day of the seventh lunar month, you will change your fortune and destiny. When you open the door, you will be under the locust tree. It only takes a thousand years, so don't hesitate in your decision."
What a mess, the time and place are all clear, why are you asking? These girls must have set up a game against me when they had nothing to do. After seeing through their little tricks, I used the majesty of a commander to coax the two of them out. I'm not bragging, but based on my psychological research, I can guess pretty much everything an average person does. The little nurses I met all the way back to the dormitory after get off work looked at me strangely, which further confirmed my idea. hey-hey! A bunch of yellow-haired girls want to fight me, but they're far from it! Thinking about the little nurse who shed tears after losing, I couldn't help whistling and walking quickly to the restaurant. I'm going to have a big meal today! I was so excited that I didn't realize that my big front door was completely open (I was so dizzy that I didn't zip it up after using the bathroom!).
The time is 10:30 tonight (the 15th day of the seventh lunar month), under the largest locust tree in the backyard of the hospital, and the person is myself. Even though my face was covered in pimples due to mosquito bites, I knew what was going on, but I still came. I have sensitive skin and am most afraid of mosquitoes. If I get bitten, I can't get rid of it for several days. Why! Curiosity can sometimes kill people.
I like to peek into people's privacy. After I returned home, I couldn't help but start thinking wildly again. It's really possible that these simple little girls could come up with such a simple game, but judging from their usual weird behavior, they wouldn't let me see through it so easily, right? Could it be that the two of them knew that I would never appear under the locust tree? Or is there someone else who advises me to definitely go? Should I go or not?
Just go, but not at midnight. Haha, I went there half an hour in advance to take a look around. If no one is there, it will be no problem. If someone is three to five minutes away from retreating, their bet will be accurate based on the troops' sense of time.
Strangely, I circled three times to the left and three to the right around the big locust tree for several meters, but there was no sign of anyone else. At this time, several girls in the duty room were eating snacks and talking around the old director, who should treat Dr. Yue tomorrow if he has a few bumps on his face... Sure enough, there is someone who has given guidance! It turns out that the bet they made was that I would get a few pimples on my face from mosquitoes.
When I was tired of searching and made sure no one came here to feed the mosquitoes in the middle of the night, I rested against the big locust tree and prepared to go back. He looked up at the eerie moon and couldn't help but shudder. Today is the Ghost Festival, commonly known as the Ghost Festival. According to Taoism, the underworld will open the gates of ghosts at this time, allowing many hungry and ownerless ghosts to come to the human world in search of food. The locust tree is also called the ghost tree in my hometown. As the old saying goes, if you don't plant a locust tree in the front and you won't plant a willow tree in the back, this kind of tree is what it refers to. Although I am a semi-atheist (that is, someone who doesn't usually burn incense and just improvises), I still feel that this place is very spooky.
Feeling that there was nothing behind me, I lost support and fell backwards into the large hole that suddenly appeared in the locust tree. A big hole appeared in the thick locust tree, and there were three phosphorescent characters on it: "Ghost Gate"!
As soon as the bull-headed horse-faced man opened the door to let the ghosts out to look for food, he saw a black shadow slamming down on his head and face. The two law enforcement officers raised their feet and kicked the UFO far away. Needless to say, the UFO that was kicked away was me. I was falling straight down but was kicked so hard that my soul and body were separated and I died. Not knowing that I had died gloriously, I felt myself falling downwards in a daze and lightness, and my physical body, which fully embodied Newton's law, fell heavily.
By the Naihe Bridge, the souls who had drank Meng Po soup were swaying in a queue, waiting to jump into the reincarnation pool to be reincarnated. A soul who had just finished drinking the soup was looking beautiful there! He no longer had to be a ghost in this pitch-black underworld, but something fell from the sky and hit him into the Wangchuan River.
When the ghost heard a splash, he knew that someone had jumped into the Wangchuan River. He shook his head and sighed: "Another one who is worried and unwilling to reincarnate." After saying that, he lowered his head and continued his own affairs. It would be a big mistake if he delayed his reincarnation. "Zhang San, Li Si, Wang Ermazi..." Every time he read the name of a ghost, a ghost jumped into the reincarnation pool, "Guo Jia!"
I just happened to fall into the queue waiting for reincarnation. When I heard someone calling me, I immediately answered "Here!" and then I got kicked again and was kicked into the reincarnation pool. Then I felt as if I was being forced into it. Something the size of a can. After a burst of severe pain, I just relaxed for a moment when I realized that I was being hung upside down by my feet, and then received a hard slap on my butt.
"Holy crap! Who is this!" As soon as he spoke, he realized that what came out of his mouth was the sound of a baby crying.