The Troll God

The group had informed the new members of what would happen when they returned to their home world. Ichigo could imagine the shit storm that would be stirred once again.

Naruto erupted with the power of the Kyuubi. Its rage and malice spread far and wide. As it was pulled out from the deepest part of Naruto, it let out an earth shattering roar. Every beast and monster in the world welcomed the new top predator with the sound of its roar echoing across the globe.

Sasuke didn't fare any better, his eyes were forcefully activated. The aura of his Susanoo burst forth, and the flames of Amaterasu were brought out along with it. The flame of the sun and the power of Susanoo shown as a beacon to any creature with power.

Sarah's power was a lot more subtle but startling nonetheless. With the probing of the worlds will, Sarah's psionic energy briefly touched upon the minds of every sentient creature in the world. An invisible hand touching the nape of their necks. An unfamiliar power whispering into their ears.

Finally was Jaina's magical power. The world had trouble understanding it. Jaina's magic and that of those on Azeroth was unique. They didn't use "frost magic" or "fire magic" They used Arcane magic. They manipulated magic at its most primal state and shaped it into the characteristics of fire or ice. All the magical energy in the world had a shift. It was welcoming home its mother. The magic of the world started to move, it slowly made its way towards Kuoh before the aura abruptly stopped and the magic settled down again.

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Amaterasu was in a bad mood, like almost every other faction in the world. After the latest escapades of a certain troll, everyone was starting to get exhausted.

So when she felt the power emanate from Kuoh like in the past, she reacted in a few ways, it was first surprising, the anger, then…..acceptance. She gave up.

"I'm not feeding the troll anymore" She chanted to herself to remain calm. After certain events these past few months, some online vernacular became very mainstream among the ancient beings of the world.

Amaterasu wasn't the only one that was annoyed in the Shinto faction. Susanoo felt a surge in a power not unlike his own. It was as if an avatar of his descended into the mortal realm. He was about to send his full rage at the target…until he found out its location.

"Fuck that" He said before promptly ignoring the power surge.

He too was at his wits end with a certain troll.

A certain Nine-Tailed fox felt the aura of another Nine-tailed fox coming from Kuoh, she heard the roar that emanated as well. A shiver went down her back. She could feel it, it was a Kyuubi but it was…wrong. It felt like a demonic beast but it had the aura of a Kyuubi. She didn't know what to think about this situation.

She also felt the Aura of Amaterasu and Susanoo, and after learning its location, she ignored it.

In fact, they were all ignored. The weird power that tickled at their minds, the pulling of the magical power in the world towards Kuoh, it was all ignored.

They were done.

The factions admitted defeat against the mighty troll.

It would mark a day in history, the day a troll battled the gods and won. It would be spoken of in legends on various social media platforms.

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After the commotion had settled down, they finally went into their new home.

The technology of this world was foreign to all the new members. For Naruto and Sasuke it was somewhat close, in another few dozen years they would have probably reached this point so they could adapt easily.

Jaina was a very intelligent women. She heard the phrase from one of the other group members, "Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic". So she approached it as a new type of magic adapted rather easily.

Sarah was actually having the most trouble, it was hundreds of years below her accustomed level of technology.

They were staying in the next couple days, to make sure any attention died down.

It was on the second day that Zelretch finally visited. He looked happy, content even.

"You did something" Ichigo accused the vampire.

The new members had been given a brief on the magician. They knew what to expect.

"Your words wound me Ichigo" He said, dropping a large box on the floor.

"I even got presents." He finished with a pout.

"No" Ichigo said.

"Your trying to misdirect, and this makes it even more suspicious. You don't give presents for no reason."

Zelretch was trying hard to maintain a neutral face, the corners of his lips curving up every so slightly.

"At least look inside first." He said with a smile.

The group looked inside the chest. It was the uniforms for the new members.

Jain had a new mage's robe. It was very elegant and came with a white cloak that had the familiar symbol on the back with a bishop. Included with her new uniform was a new staff. It had a large purple crystal in the center at the tip with 4 smaller purple crystals floating around it.

Sarah's was next, it was a similar armor to her current one, it was less bulky and had runes carved into it. It came with a white hooded trench coat with the symbol of 2 pawns on the back. And to top it off, there were two pistols and holsters to go along with it. As Zelretch explained, the materials were just as strong as her rifle if not stronger so she wouldn't have to worry about them breaking from the power of her bullets.

Finally Naruto and Sasuke, they had matching uniforms. They were very similar to the Konoha Anbu uniforms. They came with a hooded Trench coat, each had their symbols on them, like Sarah's. They also had two Anbu masks come with them. One was of a fox and the other was a snake.

"Thank you sir Zelretch" Jaina said after receiving her gift. It meant more than it showed on her face, to have a uniform to match her new families.

"See Ichigo, nothing nefarious going on here" Zelretch said with a clear mischief grin on his face.

"Your baiting me, you want me to ask, your trying to goad me into demanding an answer." Ichigo accused the vampire.

There was silence for a moment before Zelretch spoke.

"Fine you win" He said with annoyance.

He took out a wooden box, it was warded and engraved with runes.

"Whats that gramps?" Ichigo asked hesitantly.

"It contains a very interesting item. The item inside has the ability to allow you to view other worlds. It allows you to look through someone else's eyes. It contains the full imagination of the human mind." He said with clear reverence for what ever was inside.

He slowly opened toe box to reveal what was inside.

The group peeked over, and everyone but the new members gaped.

It was a TV remote.

"Excuse me while I go hit my head against the wall" He said to the group while getting up.

The others explained the function of said remote to the new members.

"Alright for real, I was only half lying. I recorded what I did throughout the two months. I have to admit, its some of my best work." The magician said.

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They watched the TV in horror. The Vampire…he trolled the entire world.

It started off slow, setting off some Reiatsu in some random place in the world and tricking the factions into swarming the place.

He would leave a note saying something like "Better luck next time losers".

He only escalated from there. He would do something similar inside certain factions borders. The aura of Heracles in the Celtic region. The Greek gods known for being rather headstrong, they would force themselves into the region and start fights with he Celts.

Of course they would find out it was all a ruse, with the same calling card every time. A literal calling card, it was a joker playing card with the joker being a vampire.

At some points, he would rent one of those giant blimps with the video's playing on the side. He would fly between faction regions and insult one faction, saying it was the other faction who orchestrated the message. And to top it off he would constantly let off an aura that was similar to one of Ichigo's peerage at the time.

Then there was the incident with the sky-writing plane in the Vatican.

The time with the fireworks in the Shinto region.

The time with the literal giant inflatable middle finger in the middle of Valhalla, courtesy of Sirzechs it read on the tag.

The time all the cloths of the fallen angels turned bright pink with the message saying, "We fell for D**ks."

No faction was left untouched. It became clear that this was not the doing of Ichigo's peerage but the troll in question apparently had some kind of relationship with the boy.

At every instance he would release an aura of Ichigo's peerage which made them realize he was doing It on purpose to draw attention to the group. Perhaps he was trying to start a fight between the group and the world? They didn't know.

It was actually the internet that figured it out first. He was just trolling. They had a few pictures of the individual in question, one of the most predominant was an older man with a mask driving the blimp.

Apparently, he had seen the picture being taken and decided to flip the bird.

The video finished. The group was dumbfounded except for three members. Naruto, Sarah, and Yoruichi were laughing their asses off.

"I'm glad some people can appreciate my work" He said with a smug expression.

The other just kept staring at the screen in shock.

"Oh don't act all melodramatic. There was a purpose for me doing all this" He said with a serious expression.

"Shits n' Giggles?" Ichigo answered almost immediately.

"Well yes, but a more important reason as well" The vampire confirmed.

"Kuoh is now almost empty of all supernatural creatures, besides the ones who have actually taken up residence here" He said.

"And I also made it so the latest outburst would be ignored by the world, your basically off the hook for the foreseeable future"

"Oh and I extorted your way into the devil run high school in the city" He added in.

"….you wanna explain that last one?" Ichigo finally said.

Zelretch let out an exasperated sigh. "fine".

He had apparently summoned one of the Rias's peerage members, a certain nekomata. He asked the girl to pass a message onto Rias and Sona that he would like a meeting. Him revealing himself as a "vampire". To which they agreed, the commotion had died down quite awile ago by this time.

He met them in the student council office at the school. The peerage members of both groups were present along with himself.

"Its not every day a vampire with such stature asks for a meeting" Rias mused.

"Well certain circumstances had led me here" Zelretch said, he was putting forth an admiral amount of etiquette for such a legendary troll.

"I would like to enroll my grandson and three of his friends/body guards with him." He stated to the two owners of the school.

"We are not accepting applications at this time" Sona said immediately, even if the commotion died down they wanted to keep the school quiet.

"I had thought this might be the case, that is why I prepared both a bribe and a threat." He said.

These words aroused a lot of attention, more so of interest at the way he spoke, he did so with no hint of aggressiveness.

"First I would like to bribe miss Gremory, I can guarantee you a way out of your marriage contract, and I am willing to swear a magical oath." He stated plainly at the gasps of the ones present.

Rias held back the questions she wanted to throw at the vampire in front of her. The marriage contract wasn't very well known and he just claimed he would swear an oath that he could get her out of it.

"Part of the deal, is that I don't reveal my grandsons name or the way to get you out of the contract until we have made a magical contract for his admittance" He added in before any questions were asked.

Sona narrowed her eyes, she didn't like the lack of information.

"Before we move onto the threat, can we get a magical oath that he will not harm us or the school?" Sona asked.

"Certainly Miss Sitri, I would be happy to when I swear the initial oath to Miss Gremory." He said in response.

"I would very much like to hear about this threat" Sona said with anticipation.

At her words, he summoned forth Ruby, his sentient magical girl wand.

"who wants to become a magical girl!?!" Ruby Excitedly said to the girls in the room.

"I would be more than happy to introduce my dear ruby to your older sister." He said with a malicious grin.

Sona was terrified. She immediately agreed to all his conditions.

They swore the various oaths, and signed the various contracts.

After Sona calmed down, she finally asked the question, "So who is your grandson?"

Zelretch grinned wide. "Kurosaki Ichigo".

Everyone in the room went silent, they stared wide eyed. They had already made the oaths and signed the contracts. It was too late now.

"…but…he's not a vampire…" Rias barely spit out.

"I never said he was, I just said he was my grandson." Zelretch said in amusement.

Sona slammed her head on the table in defeat.

"….Can you please tell me how to break the contract now…" Rias said with despression in her voice. The amount of stress the Orange Haired boy gave her was immense.

"Rating game" Zelretch said a giddy voice.

"I'm going to strangle you" Rias said with anger.

"Alright alright, according to the rules of the rating games, you can have something in your generation take your place in the battle, the catch is that the new contenders also have to match any wager or if the wager is impossible to match, the opponent gets to make an additional demand towards the newcomers." He said, finally easing her anger.

"And you think Ichigo and his peerage can beat riser?" She asked hesitantly.

"Without a doubt, in fact any one of his members could single handily beat Riser's entire peerage. " He added in.

"How strong is he exactly?" sona chimed in.

"Let me put it this way, if he was declared a stray devil, Sirzechs would have to be sent after him" Zelretch said.

They both gaped at the proclamation made by this old vampire.

It was honestly hard to believe that a teenager could match the strongest devil in history.

"Why are you telling us all this?" Rias said.

"Because I know you won't spread it anytime soon, whoever you told would tell someone else and then finally all eyes are back on Kuoh" He said with glee.

"You're the troll aren't you?" Sona said with a deadpanned expression.

Zelretch only responded by taking out his calling card and setting it on the table.

The most wanted man in the world was sitting before them. He had just strong-armed them into getting want he wanted.

The troll that could ascend to godhood. The troll that brought down the gods from their thrones.

The God of Trolls.