Chapter 76 - Lighter

I sniffled a bit and wiped my tears away from my face.

"I have to be honest with your guys about something." In situations like this my anxiety would be through the roof, but right now my mind felt like still water. Calm and devoid of motion or chaos. "This is a lot to unpack especially when in a few hours we have to go to Rebeccas wedding but... I ended things with Dante."

I looked up between my lashes to gauge my parents reaction. My mom did not look upset she just rubbed my hands gently. Comforting me. My dad squeezed my legs with soft pressure. He was facing the side of my room, so while he back was not too me he was not facing me head on. He seemed less stressed.

"Did you not like him?"

My mom broke the silence that invaded the room. She reached over and grabbed my glasses from my nightstand so I could see better. My tears dried out my contacts so I traded them out. "He was attractive but too many things were wrong. He said somethings that he should not and we were on different pages in terms of what we wanted."

I sighed a bit and pulled my back straight to release the tension from being huddled up. "He wants to get married soon and have children. Based on what his parents say it seems he wants me to move to Italy and be there full time. Everything I built here would be out of reach."

My work, my friendships, my family. I would be left to fend off the wolves myself. "I can't give him what he wants."

"Honey you never have to give a man anything." My dad fiercely interrupted. "If he wants to act like a big shot he is in for a rude awakening. Let him try to take away what rightfully belongs to you. It will be a cold day in hell if I let him."

"Enzo." My mom nudged him slightly not angry but rather allowing me space to continue on my soapbox. "My sweet daughter, lets not cry over a man as worthless as that. You know your father and I allow you to grow at your own pace. Even if you want to never get married we will not be disappointed in that."

"While I appreciate the sentiment thats not why I was crying. Rather it was because history repeated itself and all the emotions from before bubbled up. Dante reminded me of my failures and shortcomings. Ones that Felix insulted me with when we broke up. It was why I shut down the way I did. I am truly sorry I never told you."

The hands holding me froze. "What did he say? Or what did they say for that matter?" My mother was the one speaking fiercely now.

"My worth comes from my family name. To Dante my status attracted him the most and to Felix it was what he could gain from me. Like none of what makes who I am as a person is worthwhile, just my last name. The few things I could provide I can't. I am not charismatic enough nor conventionally attractive enough. And..." I ended up whispering the last part. "I can't have a child. Which means no successors to the family empire."

My mom shut her eyes and covered her mouth with her hand. "How do you know that for sure? Who said you can't?"

"A few years ago I went to a specialized doctor to see why my menstrual cycles were painful. Turns out I have endometriosis. There is no cure just treatments to help ease the pain. With the increase in scar tissue, there is a good chance I can't have children."

"I know a woman's worth is not based on whether she can bear a child. I know that. Yet, when I got the news I felt devastated. I already felt insecure because I was not like everyone else and this added to my complex. Also when all my friends started having children I felt even more isolated."

"To be honest the reason I wanted to take on the arranged marriage was because I thought that by taking love out of it, I can make you guys happy that I am stable. I hope that maybe he did not want children and we did not have to cross that road. But I was wrong about everything."

"I feel a lot better now. I am still working on accepting me for me but after everything that has happened these past couple of days I feel...lighter. The world does not feel so heavy."

My dad was the first to come and hug me. My mom followed suit. They did not even say anything but I did not need to hear anything. I felt the love pouring out of them.

The rest of the evening was spent just the three of us in my parents room. I was reminded of when I was little and afraid of thunderstorms. Just like then we all stayed together in their bed just talking and watching movies to pass the storm.

I knocked out at some point but it was not a long sleep time. Soon enough my phone went off reminding me of todays events. Rebeccas wedding. I saw a few texts from Dean which reminded me that I never actually called him like I intended to go over our plan for today.

But he just wished me a good morning and that as long as we act like how we did at the banquet (aside from him getting plastered) we should be good to go.

Gina and her whole team of stylists came on schedule to get us ready for the event. My mom and dad each gave me a tight hug before leaving me to get ready. "Alright girl lets get you dolled up."

As Gina coordinated with the others, I guessed on how the wedding will go. If only I knew how transformative it ended up being.