CHAPTER 37 - EGO BOOSTER

{ADULT CONTENT}

"Are you sure?"

Eugene inquired, gasping for breath as he diligently and gently unraveled the layers of fabric encasing my body. We had returned to the comfort of my room, while Lorraine had gone off with Brenda to God knows where. The intensity of our kiss was undeniably fiery, both scorching and painful, as it reopened the wounds of past scars, causing me to bleed mentally. Strangely, the pain served as a comfort, breathing life into my existence and allowing me to feel truly human once again. It made me alive. It was as if a dormant part of myself, concealed for far too long, was being revived and brought to the surface. I was ready to welcome the panic attack; I was ready to embrace the body tremors that shook my insides; I was ready to overcome the imaginary lump that constricted my lungs. With Eugene by my side, I was ready to go through it all together.

"No."

I responded by flinging his shirt aside hurriedly, causing my bed to make weird creaking noises as it had never experienced such torments before. Surprisingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly, these sounds and our ragged breaths only turned me on more.

"Good. Neither am I."

Eugene said honestly as he effortlessly moved his hands behind my back and removed the only thin layer of fabric that separated us. Subsequently, he discarded his pants and underwear with equal confidence, and I hungrily raked my eyes over his tanned body. Despite any initial expectations of feeling shy or self-conscious, I certainly experienced neither. In fact, it seemed as though a fog had lifted between us after I confided in him about everything at the park. Although I still felt hints of panic rising within me, we have fooled around so many times that it has accustomed me to managing and controlling it. It was as if the past two months had been a training ground for channeling my thoughts. We were preparing ourselves all this while, and it was finally D-day. The only question was: Will I successfully pass the test?

"Tell me when to stop."

I shook my head vehemently as an answer, instinctively wrapping my arms around his neck and gently sinking my teeth into the spot where his pulse was throbbing. In response, a deep and primal groan escaped from his lips, and I couldn't help but revel in the pleasure that sound brought. It had an undeniable intensity and heat that went straight to my core.

"Don't stop, even if I scream at you."

I firmly stated, and I could sense Eugene silently chuckling. He was shaking too, whether it was from excitement or apprehension. His hands were exploring my body, tracing every curve and contour with precision, knowing exactly where I liked them most.

"That becomes rape, idiot."

He said, biting on my left ear, and I let out a whine, stretching my chest further so that it was now flushed against his body. I wanted more. No matter how close our bodies were, it didn't seem enough. I wished to be buried by his scent and breath. I wanted no escape.

"Not if I allow you to rape me."

I panted as I leaned in, slowly dragging my lips along the smooth skin of his torso until I reached his firm, erect pebbles, which seemed to demand my undivided attention.

"F*ck River." Eugene sighed as he let my mouth and fingers have their way with his sensitive regions. "You should try writing dark romance."

He commented, his voice coming out raspy, and I laughed in return.

"You think I haven't?"

The ceaseless motion of his nimble hands came to a halt, and with a gentle nudge, he redirected his attention towards me, locking our gazes. A flicker of amusement danced in his eyes as he raised his eyebrows at me in question.

"Really?"

I smiled again and shrugged my shoulders before giving him a peck on the lips.

"I will let you read it if you make me go wild today."

There was a playful challenge in my voice, and I winked at him. His eyes transformed into a deeper shade, almost glazed with lust. It was as if a switch had been flipped inside him, and I knew he was game. Eugene let out a deep growl, a sound that sent shivers down my spine and made me realize that the steamy scenes described in romance novels were indeed not just works of fiction.

In one swift motion, he pushed me to the bed, his touch both gentle and fierce, and caressed me with his eyes as it finally settled on my most intimate area, making me blush profusely. Of course, we have done things that were intimate before and seen each other naked, but this was definitely on another level. My primal instinct was to lock my knees tightly; however, with his heavy, muscular frame consuming the space between my legs, it became impossible to act on them. He gripped my limbs, and as he moved his body down, his eyes found mine again.

"Seriously, tell me when to stop. Or do you want to use some safe words?"

Despite my embarrassment, a smile readily tugged at the corners of my lips. His seriousness, starkly contrasted against the backdrop of our circumstances, somehow sparked an unexpected warmth within me. I doubt anyone else could make me this comfortable. I pretended like I was actually giving it some thought and then looked at him with all firmness.

"Expecto Patronum."

"Seriously, woman?"

He asked, bewildered, and I nodded enthusiastically. Engaging in these conversations not only offered a pleasant distraction but also took my mind off the haunting memory of a set of hazel eyes brimming with despair. It was as if these interactions held the power to alleviate the ache within me, providing solace and relief from the throbbing agony.

"What? It's funny and clear."

Eugene shook his head and laughed, causing his entire body to shiver with mirth. It was absolutely captivating how easily this man had the power to ignite my passion. Every move and every gesture seemed to possess an enchanting quality that stirred an indescribable allure within me.

"Try not to forget it."

He spoke confidently and then began to pleasure me in the way no human has ever pleasured me before. With each fleeting moment, his expert hands and deliberate movements awakened needs within me I never knew existed. Now I know why people thought foreplay was a big deal. It was a big deal!

"Oh my God, Eugene!"

With a gasp escaping my lips, I found myself tightly gripping the pillow, my sheet twisted in my desperate grasp. A tingling sensation ran through my feet, my toes curling up to the point of hurting. I was enjoying a balcony view of his head in my nether region, and I swear I have never seen something more hot. It was an intoxicating sight. My knees instinctively clenched around his skull as his professional mouth boldly explored my every inch, caressing my velvety skin. A gentle touch traced a path down my spine until he easily lifted me, aligning my body to his convenience. Hell yeah!

By the time I came down from my high, my mind was left in a haze of incoherent thoughts and mumbled words. My body had grown weak, unable to support itself any longer, and Eugene shifted my limbs slowly from his neck. I breathlessly watched him wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, with that boyish grin still plastered on his lips. That familiar smirk rekindled a fire within me. It was as if the world around me had blurred into insignificance, and all I could focus on was the intensity of his gaze and the subtle curve of his lips.

"My turn."

I shoved him firmly, feeling the resistance in his chest as he stumbled backwards, eventually losing his balance and tumbling to the mattress. As he lay there, slightly dazed, I couldn't help but feel a surge of power coursing through me. With a slow and deliberate movement, I lowered myself onto him, my knees sinking into the softness of a plush pillow. It provided a comforting cushion for my bony knees, allowing me to maintain my focus on the task at hand.

Tracing my fingers along his v-line, I watched as a shiver ran down him, a shiver that turned into a deep and unabashed moan. His reaction sent a jolt of electricity through my body, flaring up a fire within me that burned with a raw and primal desire. His length didn't surprise me anymore, although I lacked a wealth of experience in this particular area. When I once commented about it, he assured me that his size was merely average, and I gulped down, imagining what a 'monster size' would be. But truthfully, I found myself more than satisfied with what I had before me.

If Eugene thought that my activities today would be limited to a simple hand job, he couldn't have been more mistaken. And as I leaned in closer, he could feel the warmth of my breath against his most sensitive area. It was a silent and unspoken confirmation of my intentions, and his eyes widened in surprise.

"Fuck, River. Don't tell me you are going to..."

He completed his sentence with a long moan.

"Holy heavens, woman!"

His voice, hoarse and ragged, filled the room as he struggled to contain his pleasure. He shouted in between whines, and his voice was raspy and breathless. Countless late nights were spent hunched over my laptop, searching for the secrets of the perfect blowjob. It might sound odd to some, but knowledge truly is power, and it is actually coming in handy right now. Sure, I was aware I wasn't perfect. No one ever is. But what mattered was that I was fully committed to this mission, and the whispered encouragements from him only served to push me more. With every moan, every gasp, and every compliment, my confidence soared. I reveled in the knowledge that he was experiencing something that only I could provide. The satisfaction of knowing I was the catalyst behind his pleasure surged through me, electrifying my senses and driving me to excel.

"Shit, you better stop now, River."

It was a clear warning, and I obeyed instantly. His pupils were completely dilated, and he was looking at me with such intensity that my insides were shaking wildly with expectation. Something tells me I have just unleashed a chained beast. With a swift and purposeful movement, he closed the distance between us. His presence was commanding, and his touch was demanding. As his body pressed against mine, a rush of anticipation flooded over me, leaving me trembling in both fear and trepidation. Suddenly, our lips met in a fiery embrace. The kiss, so unexpectedly passionate, extinguished the rising fears that threatened to overwhelm me. It was a paradoxical mix of danger and solace, a fusion of primal desire and comforting reassurance.

"You sure?"

I didn't answer him, but my look was enough for him to be satisfied. He positioned his arms on my hips with a confident yet gentle touch and guided me to exactly where he wanted me. But as he continued, a wave of pain shot through me, tearing through my body. It hurt—I mean, it hurt like a bitch. I felt myself being stretched to my limit, like a rubber band ready to snap. The whimper that escaped my lips caused him to freeze instantly, concern etched on his face.

"How do you feel?"

He asked, his voice laced with worry. He didn't dare move an inch, wanting to make sure I was alright. My breaths came out in heavy gasps as I tried to adjust to his width, desperately hoping that it would lessen the intense ache I was experiencing.

"Like I devoured a platter of shawarma. I feel so full."

I replied honestly, with a tinge of humor in my voice. His chuckle rang in the air, bringing a flicker of lightness to the intense moment.

"You are so tight."

He commented, and, being a writer, I knew that was a compliment. Still, he remained motionless, aware that my physical discomfort was entwined with the demons that plagued my mind, amplifying the pain tenfold.

"A sick part of my brain feels like I am part of a human centipede."

I quipped, attempting to inject a touch of levity into the situation. A smile tugged at his lips, but his concern remained in his eyes.

"Way to ruin the mood, Missy."

He said, his voice filled with mock reproach. He waited a few more moments, his fingers gently sweeping away the sweaty strands of hair clinging to my tear-streaked face.

"I'm going to move now, River. Are you ready?"

He suggested, his voice filled with the utmost care. I could only manage a nod, my trust in him outweighing the persisting discomfort.

...........

"Expec... Expect… Patr… Fuck... I can't... I can't…"

I screamed as the pain became unbearable.

"I feel like I am delivering a baby."

I shouted and panted, with Eugene reciprocating my action.

"As if you have some experience."

He exclaimed, finally giving up and falling next to me with a thud. It was our fourth attempt, and let's just say it, too, ended in disaster. Once we caught our breaths, our gazes locked, and we burst into a fit of laughter.

"You know this is a huge ego booster for me, right?"

He claimed, and I rolled my eyes.

"It's because I'm a virgin and inexperienced."

I countered, but we both know it wasn't entirely because of his size, but luckily Eugene said nothing about my tremors and in between sobs.

If I thought he would be angry at me for stopping him in the middle, I was wrong. In fact, he pulled me into his arms, where I found comfort and peace. And as he spooned me, gently rubbing my back, I felt a sense of gratitude wash over me. I am grateful for his understanding, his affection, and his ability to effortlessly lighten the weight on my shoulders. He kept on saying how proud he was of 'Junior Eugene' but I know it was his way of taking my mind off other stuff, and I mentally thanked the heavens for bringing me to him. I snuggled closer to Eugene, feeling his warmth envelop me. As I clung to him, my heart filled with a deep sense of love and protection. I knew that Eugene would always be there for me, supporting me through life's obstacles, big or small. And though our physical endeavors did not go according to plan, our connection and unwavering bond were stronger than before.

.........