Chapter 42

Outside, the sky is completely overcast, with not a single ray of sunlight making its way through the clouds. The temperature also seems to have dropped overnight, and there is even a thin layer of frost forming on the handrail of the staircase. Immediately after having stepped outside of the building, Kit could feel the tip of his fingers going numb with cold, even if he had made sure to bundle up, wrapping a scarf around the lower half of his face and trading his usual robe for a thicker coat. It's a shame, really, he thinks as he jams his hands into his pockets in an effort to stop them from freezing off, that he does not own any gloves.

But never before had there been the need for them. Not even when winter came did the temperatures go this low, the coastal region and most of the central region of the country enjoyed a fairly warm climate year round, and winters were cool at most; it only snowed, and even rarely, in the northern region. The climate right now reminded Kit more of winters growing up in the capital region. Except nothing about his current situation is like it was back then.

"Haa…" Baz exhales, "It's so cold~" He tucks his hands under his arms, and hops around in place a couple of times to try and warm up. "Kit." Baz gives Kit's arm a small shake. "Lend me a jacket."

Kit pulls down his scarf to answer. "Aren't you like, immune to cold weather?"

With his fire, Baz has a higher body temperature than most people, and doesn't suffer from the cold often. But with the weather as it is now, it looks like not even Baz is safe.

"But it's too cold…" Baz scrunches up his eyes into a miserable expression.

"Come on, Kit, don't be a cheapskate."

"...I don't have another jacket."

"Ah, well, shit." Baz sneezes. "That's it then." He sneezes again.

"Baz, you're not going to die." At least he hopes not. "Can't you warm yourself up somehow?"

Baz sighs. "I can."

"But?"

"But I have to keep it up, and it's so much effort…"

Kit rolls his eyes. He gives an exaggerated sigh. "Come here." He beckons Baz over. Obediently, Baz comes to stand directly in front of Kit; close enough that their breaths fog together. Kit takes off his scarf, and starts wrapping it around Baz.

Baz's eyes widen in surprise at Kit's actions, his mouth hanging open slightly. The cold has given his cheeks a pink tint, and it gives Baz's face a softer feel. Too late, Kit realises what he's doing, and he can feel a blush spreading across his face. He hopes that it isn't too noticeable with the cold.

Baz grabs onto Kit's hand before he can pull away. "Kit…"

He can see his own reflection in Baz's eyes, and he's sure Baz can see himself reflected in Kit's eyes too.

Kit is the first to break eye contact. He snatches his hand back. "It's only so you'll stop complaining."

Baz opens his mouth, but before he can even so much as breathe, Kit clamps a hand over his mouth.

"Don't say anything. Don't move," Kit hisses at Baz. Feeling like they are being watched, he slowly turns his head to look around. But there is no one. Still, the hairs on the back of his neck are standing on end, all his senses telling him there is someone. At first, Kit thought maybe one of his neighbours might have been peeking at them from their window, but it wasn't like that. But it can't be; the entire area is deserted.

Baz taps the back of Kit's hand covering his mouth. "Mmph!"

"Sorry." Kit takes away his hand, continuing to look around.

"Kit," Baz is looking at him weirdly, "what's wrong?"

"Huh? What?"

"What are you looking around for?"

"Ah, it's…" He'll sound insane if he says what he thinks. "It's nothing."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's nothing." He shakes his head to clear it. It's the stress, he tells himself. It must be making him start to imagine things. "Let's go."

~~~

The office is as deserted as ever. The inside is as messy as it had been for days, and today, it feels darker and colder than ever before.

To be honest, Kit doesn't really know why he keeps coming back here. Maybe it's the comfort of routine, that he can at least cling on to this last shred of how things were back then. If he didn't do this, he would be at a complete loss on what to do. He might actually go insane. But he doesn't; if something, anything, can keep him grounded he's going to hold on to it.

Yet it's not enough.

All the way, and even now, he's been feeling as if someone has been following him, but each time he would turn to where he thought the look came from, there would be nothing. The frustration, it's driving him insane. It feels like he's losing his mind.

Kit pushes the door open, about to go inside. "You're not coming inside?" he asks Baz, standing in the doorway, when he sees he's not following.

Baz shakes his head. "Well, it's…" He averts his gaze. "You go in. I'll follow later."

Kit steps back outside, letting the door shut behind him. "No, no, it's useless." Kit goes to stand next to Baz again, shoulder to shoulder, almost brushing against each other, seeing their breath come out in little puffs in front of them. "I'll tell you what. I don't know why I even came here today. I guess I just needed to feel like I was doing something." He closes his eyes. After a pause, he starts talking again, "Yesterday, there was a dead man. I didn't even know his name, I barely knew what he looked like. And my job… Well, it was to find him, so I suppose I did something right. I knew he would probably be dead. No, I knew he would be dead. I knew that, and yet…" When actually face to face with death, he wasn't able to stomach it. "I spent so much time looking for them… But I wasn't able to change anything about the outcome. And now that it's over, I just don't know what to do anymore." This feeling, he had felt like this before. Once, when his grandmother had died. He knew this feeling; this feeling… It was grief. But why did he grieve for someone he had never known? Someone who hadn't known him either? A stranger. Was it even possible to grieve for a stranger?

"Maybe," Kit balls his hands into fists inside his pockets to try and get them to stop shaking, "a part of me, deep down, wanted the outcome to be different. Perhaps, I thought that if I wanted it enough, if I tried enough, the end would not… It would not be like this. But I couldn't— can't— change anything." His words surprise even himself. He hadn't known, not until now, this feeling he had been harbouring. Talking about it, voicing these deep, secret thoughts; it gave them a life of their own, and faced with them so vividly, he could feel his lungs constricting, the oxygen leaving his body. He takes a shaky breath, and soon, he can feel a single, lonely tear rolling down his cheek. And then another. And another. And he can't hold them back anymore. He's crying his eyes out, outside of a broken, run-down building, out in the street, in the view of anyone and everyone.

Baz doesn't say anything, just stands there, silently, next to Kit. But he doesn't need to speak. The brush of their arms against each other, the soft sound of his breathing, it's more comforting than anything that could be said.

~~~

The two of them had stayed standing there, unmoving, who knows for how long. Kit could feel his head starting to throb from how much he had been crying. Suddenly, Kit's stomach grumbled. He had totally forgotten he'd had nothing to eat the whole day. In fact, hadn't eaten anything since last night.

Baz turned to look at him, "You're hungry? You want to go eat somewhere?" He slipped his hand into his left pocket. He frowned. Baz started digging in all his pockets, patting himself down. "Kit. Did I forget my stuff at your place?"

Kit wiped the stray tears from his face. "Your… stuff?"

Baz stared at him as if he had gone crazy. "Yes, my phone, my wallet–" He shut his mouth. "Kit. Please tell me I had my things on me when you found me."

Kit remained silent.

"Kit."

Kit refused to meet his gaze.

"...NOT AGAIN GODDAMNIT!" Baz ran his hand over his face in frustration. "This is why I hate drinking…" he muttered.

Again?! Kit thought, scandalised. How come he didn't know about this?

"Well, fuck me." Baz rubbed his forehead. "I know," he perked up suddenly, "let's go to the Chinese place— you know the one– between the bookstore and the hair salon, yes, that one exactly! So? What do you say?"

"I don't think they're open…" With the announcement from the DHPH and the widespread fear, a lot of businesses had closed temporarily, especially small ones.

"Here," Baz extended his hand towards Kit, "lend me your phone." He took the phone from Kit's hand, and dialling a number quickly, he walked a few paces away when the person on the other end had picked up. From that distance, Kit wasn't able to make out what was said, but after a few minutes, Baz had come back, a grin on his face. "Okay, they're open."

"They're open?" Kit asked incredulously.

"They are now," Baz said, already starting to walk towards the place.

And now…

The Chinese restaurant (actually more of a small joint carved into the side of a wall) is empty of all customers except Baz and Kit. As soon as they had arrived, the food had been coming out of the kitchen, steam rising from it, the sight of it and the smells wafting all around making Kit's mouth water. Taking a seat in one of the small booths, he had started basically shovelling the food into his mouth almost at the same time as the plates had been settled in front of them.

The first bowls were quickly emptied, and thankfully, a second round of food was arriving just as the last morsel was being cleaned off the last dish.

Now, his hunger no longer gnawing at his stomach, Kit is taking his time eating the new dishes, savouring the flavours better.

And it's like Baz has picked almost every item from the menu, each plate with a different food.

"Here, have a try of this." Baz picks up a few pieces of grilled fish with his chopsticks and places them on Kit's plate. "What do you think? How is it?"

It's spicy. More than what Kit can handle, and he feels tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. But… "It's good," Kit answers between sniffles, his mouth half-full, "it's really good." His whole mouth feels like it's on fire, but he can't stop eating it.

"Yeah? You like it?" Baz piled some other pieces of meat on Kit's plate. "Try this now."

Gingerly, Kit picked up a piece of chicken covered with red sauce with his fork. Another spicy thing, Kit thinks miserably. Why had he forgotten how much Baz loved spicy food before letting him order? "How did you even get them to open the place for you?" he asks, avoiding trying any of the food Baz seems determined he should. "And even get free food?"

"I told you," Baz clicks his chopsticks together, "they love me around here."

"Is it, like, a front for some money laundering scheme your family has going on?"

Baz lets out a bark of laughter. He doesn't give Kit an answer.

"...Baz." Kit stares at him intently.

"What?"

"Why didn't you answer?"

Baz laughs again. "Shouldn't the answer be obvious? I mean, come on."

With what little he knows and from what he has been able to piece together from the snippets Baz has told him, Kit would be more inclined to answer 'yes'.

"Don't give me that look," Baz passes some vegetables from his plate to Kit's, "you, more than anyone know, I–" Baz cuts off, the loud buzzing sound coming from Kit's phone vibrating madly on the table surface interrupting him.

They both stare at the phone. It's almost as if the urgency of the caller is being transmitted directly through.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" Baz points at it a bit apprehensively.

"...Right." Somewhat hesitantly, Kit picks up his phone. Looking at the caller ID, he sighs. It's Kat. A bit reluctantly, he presses 'accept call'. "Hello?............ Aster is WHAT?!"

~~~

Huffing, almost completely out of breath, they make it to the edge of the town, the Forest of Mist only a few metres away.

Aster, it appeared, had been on a mission in the forest for some days (the first shock for Kit), fighting demonic creatures that had been springing up in the area (the second shock) but they had already been eliminated Kat assured him; it was just that, taking care of the last ones, xe had gotten injured and needed urgent help (the third, and biggest shock).

In his mind, Kit thought, 'urgent' might have even been an understatement on Kat's part. For Aster to have decided to call her, Kat, for help no less, xe must be on death's door!

As soon as he had received the news, he had sprung up from his seat, all thoughts of food forgotten, and had bolted out of the restaurant. Not far behind had been Baz, running after Kit.

Hearing Aster mentioned and Kit's panicked expression, Baz must have known something was wrong. He hadn't even asked Kit what was going on.

Reaching the edge of the forest, he scanned the tree line and quickly spotted Dog sitting a few paces away, as if it had been patiently waiting for them to arrive.

Good. If Dog was still around, it meant Aster was still alive and had enough strength to keep Dog summoned and send it out.

"Dog!" Baz runs towards it. "Dog, where's Aster?!"

Dog sneezed once, before turning around and walking into the forest. Baz takes a step to follow it, but suddenly taking in his surroundings, the forest right in front of him, he stops cold.

"Baz," Kit pulls at his arm, "come on. Dog's not going to wait for us. If we don't go, we'll lose it." Turning back to look at him, Kit is surprised to see Baz has turned pale. "Baz." Kit pulls on his arm again. "Baz, come on. We need to get to Aster."

Baz shuts his eyes tight. "Yes, yes, Aster." He takes a deep breath. "Okay."

Inside the forest, it's even colder. The sound of the wind blowing between the leaves and the branches creaking causes goosebumps to rise all over Kit's skin, and he shudders involuntarily. The Forest of Mist has always had an eerie aura, but now, it feels as if it was actively hostile. The only source of light is Dog's soft golden glow guiding them.

"Kit," Baz whispers behind him. "Wait."

Kit feels a hand, Baz's, grip his shoulder tightly from behind. He stops walking. "What is it?"

"I can't walk anymore," Baz's voice is shaky, "I– I can't… My legs, they won't move." He rests his head against Kit's upper back. "I don't think I can even stay standing anymore." He huffs out a dry laugh. "Kit, I feel like I'm going to die."

"Baz." Kit reaches behind him, searching blindly for Baz's hand not currently on his shoulder. "Don't die." He squeezes Baz's hand in reassurance. Or at least what he hopes is reassurance. In truth, he is almost as scared as Baz. "It's not long. We're almost there." He has no idea if this is true. "Don't die."

A few moments pass in which Kit thinks perhaps Baz has passed out from fear. Until…

"Okay," Baz says. He returns Kit's hand squeeze. "Okay," he repeats.

Slowly, very slowly, they start walking again, Dog guiding them.

After what feels like an eternity, they arrive at a small clearing. In the dim light given off by Dog, Kit can barely make out the silhouette of a person leaning against one of the trees farthest from them.

"Aster," he calls out softly, "Aster, is that you?"

"Of course it's me, you useless fuck! Who else would I be? Were you expecting to find your Nana here you shit-for-brains?!"

…Ahhh, yes. That's definitely Aster.

Dog trots over to Aster's side, and now, Kit can make out their features better. There is no other way to put it, but xe looks like shit. Xeir clothes are full of mud, not even the black can hide how dirty they are, xeir hair is a more like a rat's nest, not to mention, the bandages that have been messily tied around xeir right arm and leg, and are probably hiding some gruesome injury judging by how thoroughly they have been dyed with blood.

"Aster…" Kit feels a bit out of his depth here. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Baz?!" Aster ignores Kit's question. Instead, xeir eyes have zeroed in on the other person standing behind Kit. "You're alive?!"

"I'm alive?!" Baz shouts back. "Look at you! You're asking if I'm alive?!"

Aster looks like xe wants to pound Baz into the ground right there and now. "Where the hell have you been?!"

"Ahem." Kit clears his throat. "Aster… Your… injuries."

Aster waves his concerns away. "They're just scratches. I just needed someone to help me bandage the ones on my back and I'll be good to go."

In what world are those called 'scratches'?! Kit thinks.

"Scratches? A lesser person would be dead with half of that!" Baz voices Kit's very own thoughts. "You need to see someone! A doctor! A nurse at least!"

"Stay out of this, tramp!" Aster points a finger, from xeir left hand, at him. "People who disappear without a word don't get to have an opinion!"

"People whose father is a Healer but would still bleed out to death don't get to talk either!" Baz shoots back.

Aster grits xeir teeth. "Kit!"

Kit almost jumps out of his skin.

"Tell Baz to shut up!"

Kit coughs awkwardly. "Well, you see, Aster…"

"Spit it out," Aster snaps.

"Perhaps… You should go to the hospital…"

Aster turns to look at Dog, perhaps looking for support, but instead, Dog stands up, and goes to sit next to Kit, as if siding with him. "YOU TOO, DOG? YOU TRAITOR!" Xe glares at it. After what seems like a stare off, Aster finally lets out an exasperated huff. "Fine! Take me to see the stupid doctor!"

~~~

Xe had insisted on walking, refusing to be carried, saying it was "humiliating and xe wasn't about to throw away xeir dignity.

("Being seen around you two clowns is already bad enough," xe said.)

All the help xe had accepted was Kit offering a shoulder for support, and once they had come out of the forest, Baz had insisted on calling an ambulance, ignoring all of Aster's protest that it wasn't necessary.

At the ER, the doctors had immediately rushed xem in. They looked more worried than Aster xemself.

Hours later, Aster was finally deemed in the clear.

"I can't believe they're even alive," the doctor who had stitched xem up had said to Baz and Kit.

Multiple open wounds, two fractures in just the leg, plus another in the arm, and a concussion to top it all off. It really was something to be amazed at that xe was still in one piece!

When they walk into the room Aster is staying in, xe is sitting in bed, a pillow propped under xeir right leg and wearing an expression like xe had just swallowed a whole lemon.

Baz, "Aster–"

"If you're not bringing me any snacks from the cafeteria, just leave."

Sighing, he pulls out a half finished bag of chips from his pocket. "From the vending machine."

"Hm." Aster takes the bag. "Good enough."

"How are you feeling?" Kit asks xem, taking a seat on the chair by the bed. Baz comes to stand behind him.

"Use your eyes, genius," xe says, already starting to eat the leftover chips from Baz.

"I see…" Kit clears his throat.

"I swear, if I ever lay hands on that demon, I'm going to fucking kill them. I'm going to tear them apart limb by limb and make them eat their own shit and then I'm going to split their head open." Xe furiously shoves more chips into xeir mouth. "I can take the pain, I don't care. But I mean, a hospital? The stitching or the casts, that's whatever, but making me stay here? For– how long did those idiot doctors say?"

"Two weeks," Baz supplies the information.

"Two weeks!" Aster crumples the bag in xeir hand, pulverising any chips left in it. "Are they out of their minds? What do they expect me to do all that time? Sit around growing flowers out of my ass?! Nonsense, I tell you."

Baz takes the bag of chips away, prying xeir fingers open one by one, and throws it in the trash bin in the room. "Think of it as paid vacation. You had been complaining all this time about never getting a vacation."

Aster huffs. "Vacation? You think I wanted vacation to sit around and do nothing?"

"...It is what most people do," Kit says meekly.

"Argh! This is torture!" Xe throws xeir arm up. "Kit! You should understand! You hate hospitals too!"

"Hey, hey," Baz pats Kit's head from behind, "don't bring Kit into this. You know how he feels about the topic."

"Baz…" Kit protests.

Ignoring him, Baz continues, "Besides, he's had his fill of hospitals for a lifetime, you've never even been sick for more than two days before."

"Wait. You haven't?" This is new information for Kit.

Aster shakes xeir head. "Never."

"Never?"

"I can tell you, that if I have, I cannot remember."

Kit turns to Baz, "Is this true?"

He laughs. "It's true! I've known Aster all my life, and xe's never gotten more than a cold!"

"That…" That really doesn't seem fair. Kit had spent most of his early years going in and out of hospitals, and there were people who had never even experienced a stronger than normal case of food poisoning. "That's unfair."

Baz hums, patting Kit's head again. "Well, some people are just born lucky, I guess."

Suddenly, Kit's phone starts vibrating in his pocket. It's Jessica. Jessica? What reason would she have to call him? It must be…

"Kit!" Jessica's worried voice comes through, "where have you been?! I've been trying to reach you since yesterday!"

"Jessica…" He doesn't want to imagine the worst. "What happened?"

"Dee! Dee's gone!"