21

Todoroki

"Stop I don't want to hurt Natsu!" I screamed and cried as Endeavor back handed me and I went flying across our in home gym.

"You will do as you're told!" Endeavor bellowed and I heard the all to familiar sound of glass shattering again. Instead of me attacking either my brother Natsu or my sister Fuyumi I just laid there, ready for the next hit. Why does Endeavor expect us to fight?

"Listen here boy," Endeavor growled and I felt him grab my head, squeezing lifting me up that way. It hurts, it hurts so much. "You will become the number 1 hero and surpass All Might, that is your purpose. That is the reason you were created. You WILL do as you are told, when you are told." His voice sent my body trembling again.

Fear ran through my tiny body before he dropped me and he was having me run more drills, Fuyumi and Natsu were sent out of the room to clean up their messes.

When I walked into the dining room later I found them all sitting at the table, Fuyumi smiling. Does she not care what he does to me? What he does to any of us? What he has done to her?

Am I really so weak that I shouldn't be crying when he 'trains' me? We are alone, no one is coming. No one will ever come.

***

"Mom!" I screamed, the boiling water already burning my face. She snapped out of it and she hugged me to her, her ice trying to reverse the damage already done, but it was too late. The sound of shattering glass fell around me, filling my ears as I sobbed, clutching my mother as hard and tight as I could.

Her words still echoing inside of my head, "Why do you have to look so much like him?" Endeavor did this, he did this to her. And now because of him Mom can't see me as me anymore.

I clutched onto her as we cried there on the kitchen floor. When Fuyumi and Natsu walked in with Endeavor who tore me out of her arms.

More shattering glass.

"NO! MOMMY!" I screamed reaching out for her but I was taken away. The hospital said they couldn't do anything for the scar on my face. They already did everything they could.

I kept begging for her, "please anyone, please I just want my mommy!" But no one stopped and gave me more than a passing sad look. They all hate her.

I heard the nurses talking in the hallway about how she poured boiling water on my face. But she didn't mean to! Not really!

Mommy was gone before I was even allowed to leave the hospital, even Fuyumi and Natsu couldn't look at me. The bandages on my head only seemed to burn me more. That didn't stop me from overheating the doctors though. My burns weren't from the boiling water, they were from my mommy's ice when she was trying to make the pain go away.

Why can't I have my mommy? She was the only one that tried to keep him away. She was the only one that tried to protect me from his training.

***

Years past and things only got worse.

Toya, was the only one that would sneak into my room with food or treats now. Fuyumi and Natsu were afraid of me but I don't understand why. Toya was the only one who would hold me anymore, who let me cry and still told me that he loved me.

"You're the only one, please never leave me," I cried and he just held me close. Closer and tighter than any hug since Mom scarred me.

"I love you, don't forget that." He was crying now and I think I understand. He is going to leave me too.

"Don't leave me, please take me with you!" I sobbed trying to keep myself quiet so that no one would hear us outside of the room. "Please, I'll be good. Don't leave me here with him!" I sobbed and his arms tightened.

"I wish I could, Shoto. Promise me that you won't forget me. When you're older I'll come back and we can escape together, okay?" I could see the tears running down his face but I could only sob.

I'm alone. I will always only ever be alone.

***

I feel numb, somehow I am still able to move so I get up again and get back into the ready position. Endeavor attacks again. And again. And again. I can barely even feel the pain anymore, I feel nothing at all.

I fall and get back up again each time, but I keep getting back up. I'm alone, what else could I be good for other than for him to beat me up?

I use my ice which only makes him madder, eventually I can't get up anymore. I can't move my frost bitten hands and Endeavor leaves me, he screams for Fuyumi to talk some sense into me. He storms out and leaves the house.

Leaving me so cold I couldn't even shiver anymore. Is this what it's like to die? It's oddly comforting, I close my eyes letting myself drift away. Anything would be better than this.

The cold, it feels so nice. The only time I ever feel love is when there is cold. I miss Mom and Toya, maybe one day they will come back for me?

***

I woke up in a hospital and the doctors are asking when the last time I saw my mother was. They think she did this to me? They think my sweet mommy who spent so many nights crying and screaming for Endeavor to stop, was the one to beat me like this?

"It's a miracle that he is alive. His body can't handle that level of cold, he-" I tuned them out. Fuyumi explained that I haven't seen Mommy in a very long time now and explained that I was refusing to use half of my quirk. The fire half.

The doctors and, well, everyone for that matter lectured me about taking care of myself but I just want Mommy and Toya. They are the only ones that ever loved me anyway.

***

"I'm sorry Endeavor but we just can't find him. Chances are that he has died, I'm sorry for your loss." The man with the gold badge told him while I was just outside the door.

"No!" I screamed running in and hitting the man with my little fist. "You're lying! Big brother Toya said he would come back, he said he wouldn't leave me!" I cried and screamed and Endeavor had to pull me off of the lying man tears still running down my face.

I'm alone. I'm all alone, no one can ever love me. If anyone ever loves me Endeavor will just make them go away again.

I hate him.

The sound of shattering glass surrounded me as if I were standing in a rain shower with shards of glass pelting not only me but everything around me. I am alone and I can only feel hate. I can't love anyone ever again.

***

"What don't you recognize your big brother?" Dabi smiled and my heart stopped. No this can't be real. This can't be real.

THIS CAN NOT BE REAL!

"Toya?" My voice sounded so small and I see a ghost of my brother smiling back at me.

"Don't let him kill you like he did me," he disappeared into the black space that was their teleporter and I can't feel my body anymore.

I'm on my knees, when did I even start crying? Why can't I feel my tears? I reach up and sure enough my fingers are wet. I'm crying but at the same time I feel heavy.

Toya isn't dead, he abandoned me, he left me with that monster that calls himself our father and became a villain instead. He must truly hate me to leave me alone for all these years.

Hate, is that the only feeling a Todoroki is allowed to feel? I don't want to hate! It hurts, it hurts so much.

"Don't worry we'll get Bakugo back, calm down Midoriya just leave it to the heroes!" I jumped hearing Iida and looked up to see Midoriya screaming out, crying for his childhood friend.

Why couldn't I have a friend like that? A friend that no matter what, was following and looking out for me. It wasn't lost on me all the times a plate was put aside for him when he was out late training. Or whenever he was sick and couldn't come to class just how many notes Midoriya took for him.

I wish I could have a friend, a real friend but I'm a Todoroki. We aren't allowed to have friends, they are distractions.

I don't know when I moved, or when it started raining. All I know is that Midoriya was crying in my arms holding onto me with everything he had. Even with us both crying, not that anyone else noticed us, it felt nice. For the first time in so very long, I don't feel so alone.

"Kacchan, I will find you and bring you home." I heard Midoriya whisper, I don't think he even realized that he said it out loud or even for that matter that he was holding me so tight that I'm pretty sure that he was leaving bruises. I could hear the glass shattering around me, I know that Midoriya doesn't want it to be me in his arms. He wants someone else but that's okay. For now he is okay with me.

"I'll help you," I answered and I felt him freeze up in my arms but then he nodded. Bakugo is outwardly mean but I've seen how he really is. I've seen him make way to much food and end up cooking for everyone in the class. I've seen him sneak leftovers into Uraraka's backpack right before she goes home for a visit. I've seen him let Kaminari cry on his shoulder when he broke up with his girlfriend because he caught her cheating on him.

I've seen how much he actually cares for us all, no matter what he says. I will protect him and Midoriya with everything I have. I don't understand this feeling but I do know that I will follow through with it.

Glass was raining down around me but no one seems to be able to see it. Or what was left of the glass, it was so small now it might as well have been sand.

I am alone, I will always be alone but if I can help people like them, then I will. What other reason is there for being a hero if I can't help people like them?

I am alone. I will always be alone but they don't have to be.