The therian

"Who am I?" by Cale Robinson

"Blood charging through my veins,

my eyes engage the clear skies

in their dark colored shines,

my weight lost from the crust.

All the champion of superman,

none of death, hurt or distress.

The best of nature's beast

in a perfected cognizance.

I wear the world as a shoe.

I touch clouds with bare hands.

I feed on humans and rats.

And when the winds stop,

and the shadows light up,

and I am no longer the hero?"

I was not the least ready for all this, not today. I couldn't even recall at this time why, but I was already in the last of my strength for the day.

-``Ok then, you brief her and meet us inside when you are finished.'' - The trainer left guiding the rest of the strong pale bats back through the stone entrance.

-``Yes, sir.'' - He shouted politely at his trainer and Bleach Eyes walked back to the forest signaling me to follow him. - ``Shall we sit? I am sorry you had this sad episode, most people go through their entire studies ignorant of our deeds.'' - He started walking towards a higher tree root where he sat. He then signaled me with his thin hand to join him as though this was going to take forever.

-``What exactly do you believe you saw?''

-``Batmen around a bonfire and humans... and blood!'' - I started my sentence confused and ended it in a profound revolting accusation. I could not pretend that I did not see what I saw.

-``Ok.'''- He answered carelessly. - `` What do you know of the dark squad or alpha squad as our mentor likes to call it?''

-``What?''- It just sounded like the name of comic books or a lame bar.

-``Well, it seems I will not be attending formation today.''

-``Sorry?'' - The word came out as a mixture of indignance and a forceful request to explain.

-``Don't worry, you didn't do it on purpose.'' - He surprised me as I was rather being sarcastic, but what ever!

-``So the dark squad is a semi-military group of mercenaries.'' - It wasn't sounding any better. - ``Working solemnly for our branch of the government we ensure the defense forces of our kind and the paycheck for the college. From the government point of view, some chores are just too hard for humans to perform and as long as we don't feel defenseless and keep anonymity we shape-shifters are harmless and useful. Also the government is not qualified to manage an elite squad of therianthropes themselves.''

-``What you are doing is legal?'' - I couldn't tell if I was more confused about the squad legitimacy or the government's acceptance of this.

-``Well. They had no choice, did they? We have to resort to diplomacy or everyone loses. If they want humans to carry on with their lives ignorant of our existence, then they have to keep us minimally satisfied. And have us keep ourselves in check.'' - His voice was unemotional, but not monotoned, nice but dark and cold.

-``What the hell does that have to do with the blood?''

-``Oh, that. It's our doping.'' - he answered casually as though I was missing his point and childishly changing the track of this important conversation.

-``Are you kidding me? You are talking of human beings.''

-``You sound revolted. It's not like we spend our nights hunting them down to wickedly consume their nectar of life.'' - My mouth dropped to my lap, I couldn't believe the indifference in this ``bat''.

-``Are you saying that it's normal, that you consume blood as doping method?'' - I was baffled by the whole concept.

-``We don't do this always. Most times we only use the blood bank. This is just the ceremony to introduce new members such as myself and for eves of very special ops.''

-``Oh. That is so much better!'' - Now I was plain furious, how dared he? Dealing with humans like they are pigs?

-``You do know they are voluntary? They actually apply for this and only the healthier are chosen. They are just the fittest of the therian.''

-``Therian?'' - My mind was all over.

-``Yes. Where in the world do you live? There are humans that consider us as their superiors and venerate us as gods. They wish to be part of our supra-natural world and have the most various functions in our society. Some clean, some answer phones, some desire to bring it to the next level and request that we use their blood for our strengthening.'' - He said it like it was the natural place of humans in life. Now I was really confused.

-``But we aren't gods!'' - I rebuked in fiery exasperation.

-``Aren't we? We can fly! We can see in the dark and we have stronger muscles than anyone our weight. We are kept from society so they don't have to feel totally insignificant and vulnerable.'' - He continued mater-of-factly.

-``And you? You actually take their work and blood? How could you feel any better than any human? That is preying on the weak.'' - I was so furious I just stormed out to the forest. I didn't care or know anything.

-``Who are we to judge their will? It is ok to kill battalions in war, but to get their blood to win without casualties not? That is cynical!'' - He said loudly, just so the words traveled the wind to my ears, not carried by any emotion. He didn't allow me to go far and before I could try he grabbed my shoulders from behind and made me stop.

-``You realize that this is top secret. As in national security secret. This means only the ministry, the teachers and headmaster are allowed to be aware of our existence. I can't let you go until you realize the seriousness of this situation and swear not to tell anyone what you saw this night.''

-``I shall do no such thing. If you are so legitimate, then you shouldn't mind if I confirm it with my trainer.''

-``Of 'course. I wouldn't expect less loyalty from you.'' - He sneered under his breath.

-``Not god enough for you?'' - What a relief.

-``Not really. I don't understand you mutts.'' - Now it just sounded like he was trying to get to my nerves. I shoved his hands off my shoulders and left me as enraged as possible.

I just walked... I walked and walked until I found my home door. It was late, almost lunch time. I had moral fights all the way, my soul felt like a battle field. My own arguments were loosing; who was I to know better than themselves of their options. Where does poor judgment become a responsibility for the wining party? What could I do? As far as I could tell they weren't slaves... ya, right... just servants. But what is the real difference between servants and poor people asked to work over hours in lousy conditions to have enough to feed their kids? If there is enslavement over money all around, then why can't there be enslavement for the faith in therianthropes? Who am I to change any of it anyway? Even if it pains me that we allow people to reach the desperation that makes them choose between prostitution, robbery and starvation, what am I to do? What could I ever do?

I closed the shutters in my room and sat on my bed. My knees recoiled under my chin, looking nowhere, I felt that I would hate this world. I would hate the power people could have over others and those bleach eyes. I closed my eyes preventing my raging tears from falling. His transparent blond hair dancing in the wind, his motionless face and his structured pale body... How could he? How dared he? How could he agree? How could he not feel anything about it? How could he not see how wrong it was, to take advantage of someone's idolization to the point of drinking their blood. His bleach blue eyes reacted to nothing, focused on nothing, felt nothing. He was so dead inside. And the worst part is that he wasn't alone. There was a sub-society that used humans' religious beliefs for the most various ends. But what was I to do? What could I do if they wanted to serve? What the hell? What is the matter with everyone?