24

week later "I thought that I would only have to deal with you for an hour or two, but instead it's been four hours and you're still not leaving the room. What the fuck does it take to convince you that you really need to rest?" "That's because this isn't even half as bad as my last trip in the operating theatre", retorted Kaede defensively. "Yeah right", said Maki skeptically as she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the railing, looking out over the dark city below them, "I remember when you got discharged from your last operation, you spent every moment trying to distract yourself with something else for nearly three weeks, and you only got worse and worse each time. That's basically what happened today as well, only this time, it wasn't just one problem that needed fixing: there were also several more, but I guess you don't seem all too interested to listen to me right now, do you?" Kaede didn't reply, but Maki could see the hint of guilt in her face as well as the slight shake in her lower lip. She sighed softly and dropped her gaze to the ground before taking one step forward and resting one hand gently on Kaede's shoulder. The taller girl jumped a bit when she heard that touch, but quickly regained her composure and turned to meet Maki's eyes. "Look, if you're really worried about what people will think, forget it. No one cares anymore, so I won't say anything anyway, okay? All they care about nowadays is getting money for their stupid projects or something", she tried to console her, but it obviously wasn't going to help any in the least. "If you really think that way", mumbled Kaede and turned away, looking over the edge of the balcony again. "But you should be worrying about how everyone in your team are going to react", added Maki while reaching out for Kaede's wrist and stopping her from turning away further. "No doubt they'll blame themselves for what happened", continued Maki, "even though nothing was ever proved. It doesn't matter though. They'll probably try to cover up everything that happened anyway. There's nothing that anyone can do." "Do you want to talk about anything?" questioned Maki, her expression changing slightly, "or rather do you want to talk about you?" "There's nothing to tell", said Kaede without turning towards Maki, "the accident has taken quite the toll on me. For some time I've felt like I've been living in a dream. I feel as if everything' s just a big blur." Maki nodded lightly and let go of Kaede's wrist before she spoke again. "You need to stop blaming yourself", she said simply, "it doesn't help anyone. And besides, everyone deserves a chance. If the accident had never happened, nobody would know how long I've been missing. Nobody knew where I am. Even if the others had found my body, they would most likely have assumed that I'd died after being hit by a car. And even if somebody did find out what had happened to me after the accident, I still would have been dead by the time they arrived anyway. You shouldn't beat yourself up for something that you couldn't have prevented. Especially since the only reason that things happened like that is because people were careless and careless people get hurt. You shouldn't dwell on the past. You have to concentrate on the present.", explained Maki, staring straight ahead once she had finished speaking. The brunette swallowed hard, closed her eyes briefly and then raised her hand to wipe away a stray tear that had slipped off of the tip of her nose. "Thank you," murmured Kaede softly as she opened her eyes again and turned towards Maki, "for saying all that. But there's one thing that I still don't understand..."