71. Motherhood

Thanks for all your feedback once again! :) This chapter, as well as the ones that follow, I wrote this summer, while I worked at a ranch in Canada and after long and hard days I would always end the day with lying in my cabin by the lake, retreating into my Linstead-world to scrawl all my ideas down. So I hope you enjoy the storyline that evolved there :)

71. Motherhood

″Where are we going?″ Jay asked for what felt like the hundreth time within the last few minutes, just like an impatient child that constantly asked how much longer the drive was during a road trip. But in this case it wasn't bugging Erin at all, like it probably usually would, it amused her as she loved nothing more than teasing him. Especially since he's surprised her countless times during the last few months she enjoyed this kind of payback and surprising him for once even more.

″Babe, you should know what the purpose of a surprise is,″ she chuckled, stopping at a red traffic light. She turned her head to him and smirked innocently and mischievously. Only a couple more hours and her husband, this perfect man with the freckles and the baby blue eyes, would be 33 years old. And as Will didn't have to work tonight, she'd made him the babysitter in charge for the evening, taking advantage that the doctor was crashing with them these days, so she and Jay could celebrate into his birthday as just the two of them, having a special date night that consisted of all the things Jay liked a lot.

″I do actually,″ he smirked back at her, just as innocent. ″Doesn't change the fact that I want to know where we're going though.″

″I'm afraid you have to be patient,″ she winked and leaned in to peck his lips quickly.

″Er, please,″ he pouted and his super adorable face was almost enough to tell him everything. Fortunately only almost.

″Stop that, right now,″ she laughed, covering his lips with her hand before looking to the traffic lights that turned green in this moment. ″You'll see soon enough,″ she grinned smugly, continuing to drive into the direction of their first event this evening, one she was sure would be a big hit because they haven't done that in forever.

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Jay only realized where they were heading to when Erin parked the car in the parking garage of Wrigley Field, the stadium of the Chicago Cubs. They got out of the car and followed all the other fans who were dressed in blue and white towards the stadium, his eyes sparkling excitedly, this very same excitement growing the closer they came to the stadium, the singing of some fans accompanying them. They haven't been at any game together – Cubs, Bears, Hawks, Bulls – since before Emmy's birth, so attending the home game of the Cubs versus the St. Louis Cardinals was the perfect way to start his birthday celebrations and their first date night in quite a while.

″You're the best of the best,″ he murmured, his arm wrapped around her shoulder so he could pull he closer while they were walking. ″Have I ever told you that?″ he smiled and pressed a gushy kiss against her temple.

″Quite some times,″ Erin chuckled, remembering how she'd told him the same thing just a couple of weeks back. ″But I'll never get tired of hearing it.″

″You deserve to hear it every day,″ he winked.

″Do I?″ she laughed, raising an eyebrow at him. ″I'll remind you of that when you're pissed because I didn't clean the shower from my hair after showering or when you complain because I take your space of the cabinet in the bathroom.″

″You're still in a state of improvement regarding your mess but you've come a long way already,″ he smirked.

″One does what one can, right?″ she shrugged, his favorite smile with those dimples that could make his knees weak every damn time still plastered on her face. ″You want a shirt and a cap?″ she asked, motioning her head to the fan store.

″Will it be my shirt or will it magically find a place in your side of the closet after tonight?″

″Would I ever...?″ she smirked innocently and shook her head.

″Noooo,″ he laughed dramatically, playing along with her. ″Never.″

They went to the store and not only Jay got a new shirt of his favorite baseball club – one he would one day in the near future definitely find in Erin's dresser for sure - but also Erin as she bought one for herself, too, so they were dressed perfectly for the game. Equiped with beer and popcorn, they settled on their seats that provided a perfect view to see all the action and Jay smiled like a kid on Christmas Morning when he soaked the atmosphere in. It was easy to say that she's hit the bulls eye with her surprise so far.

The game turned out to be a real thriller, with suspense until the very last minute and an end all of the Chicago fans had hoped for. But regardless the result – the fact that the Cubs won of course contributing that their good mood even increased – they had a blast, this evening at Wrigley Field reminding them to the days of their friendship and the early days of their relationship, when they'd attended any kind of games fairly often. And they realized that no matter that they were married now and had a child, the banter and all those sparks from back then were still there, as strong and hot as ever, and they knew that they probably looked like a couple that has only recently started dating and was head over heals in love with the other.

″Where are we going next?″ Jay asked as soon as they'd left the parking garage behind and were driving towards downtown, not home towards the suburbs.

″You really think I tell you this time, huh?″ Erin smirked mischievously.

″Worth a try,″ he shrugged with a stupid grin on his lips.

″All I say is that I hope you're hungry for late-night dinner.″

″I'm starving, actually,″ he chuckled.

″Yeah, I might have known that,″ Erin laughed, shaking her head slightly. Going out for dinner was always a big hit with her ever-hungry man, so no doubt that he would love their second destination of the evening respectively night just as much as the baseball game. Or maybe even more.

The Purple Pig was another of those places that provided quite some memories from the early days of their partnership, friendship and relationship, so this whole evening was kind of a trip down the memory lane back to where it had all begun. Whenever they'd bet about something, which had been fairly often, it had been about the looser buying the winner food and the Purple Pig had played a significant role in that as the food was definitely from another planet, just like the prices, but they'd had extreme fun with always letting the other pay after winning the bet, though of course it wasn't always as fancy as the Purple Pig and sometimes it was just lunch from Chipotle or breakfast from their favorite bakery. Nowadays, with many other obligations like paying back quite the mortgage, dinner at the Purple Pig has become a rarity but for special occasions it was still their favorite place to eat, Jay still going for the truffles. Some things simply never changed and Jay eating those delicacies was definitely one of them.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

After sharing a dessert that was too good to be true, they ended their date night with a stroll through downtown and along the Riverwalk, the lights from the skyscrapers reflecting on the Chicago River, those familiar noises of the city turmoil like horns and sirens and squeezing wheels accompanying them while they walked along the river, their fingers intertwined. A chilly breeze signalised that fall was in the air and just around the corner by now, because no matter that most days were still sunny and warm, once the sun went down, it got chilly pretty fast and those long summer nights of sitting on the patio in just shorts and a shirt or strolling through the neighborhood without a jacket seemed to be gone for this year, the time to pull out the thick jackets and pullovers, the months of storms and wind and rain and cold and snow coming dangerously close already.

Thanks to the wind that they haven't been really prepared for, they ended their walk rather quick and returned home quite some time before midnight, the moment when his age would officially turn from 32 to 33 still a bit away.

″We could start watching one of those fantasy movies you like so much, drink a beer and just wait for the date to change,″ Erin suggested, hanging her light summer jacket on the coat rack.

″Uh-huh,″ Jay whispered into her ear from behind, his hot breath letting her shiver slightly. She prefered this kind of shivering over shivering due to the wind and cold in a heartbeat. ″Or,″ he whispered and kissed her neck slowly and absolutely teasingly and of course she knew where he wanted this to end, what he wanted to suggest, without him speaking it out loud. ″We could do something else...″

″Could we?″ she asked, turning around to him, her eyebrow raised coquettishly.

″Let me rephrase that,″ he smirked, bringing his lips as close to hers that she could almost taste them. ″We should do something else,″ he breathed out, closing the small gap between their lips to give her a lingering kiss.

″Yeah?″ she murmured into his mouth. ″What could that be?″

″You know...″ he smirked, licking over his lips and the taste her's have left on them. ″So far we haven't had a chance to christen the new couch. Which is a shame.″

″To christen the couch?″ she echoed.

″Yeah. You know, like we did with your last one,″ he winked, this absolutely adorable, dorky grin rushing over his face. ″Give it a test drive to check function and form. However you wanna call it.″

″You forgot that your brother's living in the room next door, huh?″ she chuckled, shaking her head slightly.

″The walls are thick,″ Jay answered casually, pressing another kiss on her lips.

″He could walk in any second because I doubt he's sleeping already,″ Erin said just as casual. Will, or anyone, being the witness of them losing themselves in each other on their brand new corner sofa was for sure the last thing she wanted.

″Then we should kick him out right now,″ he joked.

″Jay!″ she laughed and punched her fist onto his shoulder just before wrapping her hand around his neck to pull him closer and kiss him, her tongue delving into his mouth, exploring this familiar area.

″Take me to bed,″ she whispered in between burning hot kisses and he picked her up by her thighs in the same second these words had left her mouth, her legs wrapping around his waist, and carried her to upstairs to the master bedroom, the test drive for their couch not forgotten but postponed to another day, when they had their house all for themselves again and them playing scrabble in the living room wouldn't bother anyone.

In between round one and two of making love, the clock hands turned past midnight and in her semi-conscious state of mind, Erin murmured: ″Happy Birthday.″ She opened her eyes and turned her head to him only to find his ocean-blue ones staring at her with so much gratitude and love that it almost overwhelmed her and she pressed a lazy kiss against his lips, her hand moving up to his face to cover his cheek.

″Happy birthday, husband,″ she said again, her voice all raspy, and in this moment Jay was sure that no happy birthday has ever sounded better than this one, that in fact none of his birthdays has ever started better than this one, with the love of his life, his wife, lying in his arms while they were coming back from oblivion, while their breathing was slowly returning to a steady rhythm.

″I love you,″ she smiled at him, soaking in this pure happiness on his face that these three little words out of her mouth always put there. Nowadays she often wondered why she'd feared to say those words for such a long time when by now she could simply tell him all the time. When he was sleeping and his nose crinkled for whatever reason, when he was eating the food she made, playing with Emmy in the most adorable way, stroking their spoiled dog, complaining about her mess, stepping out of the shower with drops of water on his perfectly shaped torso. When he was trying to order his unruly hair in the mornings and of course when they were making love. She loved every damn side of this man, in whose arms she was lying, with all her heart and more and she wanted to tell him all the time how much he meant to her.

″I love you more,″ Jay grinned, giving her the standard answer to her love-confession. The one to give the I-love-you back would always add more and it would always make them smile all bright.

″Not possible,″ she smirked and kissed his smiling lips again, slowly first and soon more intense as round two of their love-making was just around the corner.

33 felt pretty damn good so far.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

″Say happy birthday, daddy,″ Erin said when she walked into the bedroom on the following morning, carrying Emmy on her hip. ″Say happy birthday,″ she baby-talked, her voice all excited.

″Maybe next year, huh?″ Jay chuckled, bringing himself in a more upright position. When he'd woken up a couple of minutes ago, the other side of the bed had already been empty. Not exactly what he'd wanted to wake up to on his birthday but he was sure Erin had her reasons for getting up unusally early on a Sunday.

″Yeah, I guess so,″ she laughed. ″But you can do birthday cuddles, right Emmy?″

″Dadada,″ Emmy babbled and reached for him as if she'd understood every word.

″That's just as good as a happy birthday,″ Jay smiled proudly and took her from Erin's arms to let her sit on his stomach.

″Emilia Camille Halstead, you better get that mamama thing going as well,″ she chuckled and sat down on the edge of the bed, stroking Emmy's head. ″You can teach her for the next 30 minutes or so,″ she told her husband, poking her finger into his chest.

″Of course,″ he nodded deadpan but it didn't even take a second and a boyish smile tugged in the corners of his lips.

″Thanks,″ she grinned and leaned down to give him a short kiss. She would have loved nothing more than lying down next to her two favorites now to cuddle with them, but she needed to finish her surprise for Jay first and all those birthday cuddles would hopefully happen afterwards.

″You smell of cinnamon,″ he whispered, inhaling her scent that was so different than the usual raspberry-vanilla mix he loved so much to smell.

″You'll soon know why,″ she winked, gave him another kiss and Emilia one on the cheek and left the two of them alone.

″There she goes,″ Jay said, watching Erin walk out of their bedroom. ″What did mommy already do this morning? Do you know?″ he asked his daughter. ″Were you her partner in crime, bug?″ He lifted her up over his head and let her fly on his hands for a moment before bringing her down and settling her on his torso, her head tugged under his chin.

″You know Emmy,″ he said, his hand stroking up and down her back. ″One year ago you were so so so small in mommy's belly, kicking all the time and we didn't even know you were a girl,″ he told her, remembering exactly how they'd spent his previous birthday in Wisconsin, where Erin had arranged a surprise party with his whole family. Where he'd met Izzie and Nick for the first time in years and his family had finally been reunited. Where he'd recovered from a bomb going off in front of him though at this point the only reminders had been some twinging, pink scars on his thigh and his abdomen. Scars no one would see today, one year later, if they didn't know where they were.

He looked down at his daughter and then let his gaze wander around in their master bedroom, his eyes falling onto the photo on his bedside table. A photo of him and Erin on their wedding day, the lake and the setting sun behind them. Sometimes he couldn't believe how much has changed in just one year. From expecting a baby and only agreeing on moving in together, they've not only gone to being parents to the most adorable little girl. They also owned a house in the suburbs, a dog was a loved family member now as well and they were married. This was more than he could and would've dreamed of 365 days ago. Way more. And he couldn't help but wonder what the next 365 days would bring and what their life would look like another 365 days from now.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Cinnamon rolls. That's what Erin had prepared in the early morning hours of Jay's birthday. From the moment he'd told her about the cinnamon rolls his mother always made back when they'd visited his dad for the first time, she'd known that she would want to surprise him with cinnamon rolls one day. But instead of asking for the recipe Jay surely had somewhere, she'd decided to use a recipe from the internet and make them all by herself so they were Erin-Halstead-cinnamon-rolls, not Diane-Halstead-ones. The effect kinda was the same though, Jay's eyes were sparkling suspiciously when he saw what she'd baked for him, that she'd remembered this very small detail about his childhood that he'd only mentioned once.

He didn't even have to lie when he told her that these were the best cinnamon rolls he's ever eaten, her cheeks blushing by this compliment. Erin told him that hers could never be as good as his mother's but he just smiled at her, telling her that probably not all the incredients alone made them that good but also all the love she'd made them with.

Before the stressful part of the day started they even had time to go back to bed for some family morning cuddles but soon enough they found themselves in the kitchen, preparing all the stuff they would need for their big barbeque that was not only Jay's birthday party but also a housewarming party and a thank you for all the help they'd gotten when they moved here. Getting everything done in time without any accidents and taking care of their very agile and very attention demanding 7-and-a-half-month-old was quite the challenge and they both were more than glad when Will came back early from his shift at Med, telling them that this must be the slowest day in the hospital's history. With uncle Will keeping Emilia entertained, they were literally able to double their speed and by the time their first guests arrived around 4pm everything was done, the weather even allowing them to celebrate on the patio and in the garden.

What followed was an afternoon and evening of showing their house of dreams to all of their friends and family now that every room except Emmy's play room looked how they wanted it to look, of celebrating Jay's 33rd, of drinking beer, wine and soda and eating steaks, hamburgers, salads and Erin's cinnamon rolls and damn delicious banana cake with a special vanilla icing, Happy Birthday Jay written on top of it with chocolate. Jokes and stories were told and laughters shared, most of them when the boys told Jay about his present - a two-day trip with motorcycles wherever Jay wanted to go on the next possible free weekend somewhen between now and the end of October – and Erin complained why this was a 'men-only-trip' and she wasn't invited as well as she was basically one of the boys workwise, Antonio answering casually that otherwise Jay would never get to drive. Which was quite possibly pretty damn true. Not that she would admit this. Basically they all knew anyway that Antonio's explanation wasn't that far away from the truth.

Regardless that they all had to work on the following day, everyone except Justin, Olive and their kids stayed almost until midnight as they all enjoyed the calm backyard-atmosphere in the suburbs, some lanterns in the garden given them light, the table full with candles and never-empty glasses of wine or bottles of beer. They all left somewhat reluctantly and only because their phones reminded them that they had to get up in a little more than six hours and after bringing all the dishes in, when they said goodbye, thanking them for everything and telling them what a great afternoon and evening it had been, they didn't hold back with asking when the next BBQ would take place, which was hopefully before the winter, and what kind of dishes they should bring so Erin and Jay didn't have to do all the work. It was safe to say that next to the Voight-BBQ's Halstead-BBQ's were a thing now as well.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

The days got shorter, the sunlight disappearing earlier day by day and the leaves on the trees started to change their colors, from green to yellow, red and brown, the sunflowers in their garden losing their petals and after using the weekend after Jay's birthday for the motorcycle-trip right away, Jay found himself at home on a Friday night by the end of September while Erin was working late for the first time. The other Fridays she'd worked so far, she always returned home no later than 8pm but today she'd sent him a text that one of Al's CI's had given them a relevant tip about their current case and now they were preparing for a bust later that night, when the darkness would give them some extra security.

It was her first bust without him ever since they've been parents. Knowing her pretty well, Jay was sure she was both, excited and nervous. Excited because it was her first late night operation in more than a year. Nervous because it was her first late operation in more than a year and he wasn't with her to have her back. He sure as hell was nervous as well, being at home and knowing that his wife was doing the dangerous stuff tonight, probably dealing with some of the biggest drug dealers that Chicago had to offer at the moment. Now he could vaguely imagine how she must've been feeling every time he called or texted her to tell her that he would come home late because they had to do whatever dangerous stuff it required to solve the case and bring justice to the streets of the city they loved and called home. And while for him this 'knowing that your partner is out there chasing some gangsters', this 'waiting for a call or a text that everything is fine and staying awake until she is back home' was something that probably didn't happen more often than once or twice a month, this was what Erin had to face once or twice a week, sometimes even more often than that. Now he could understand why he would always find her on the couch, sometimes still awake with some late night show entertaining her, sometimes crumbled into a ball and already sleeping deeply, because he wouldn't go to bed before she was home either.

And as Will had moved back to Natalie's place just two days back, the two of them fortunately solving their problems quite quick and continuing to live their together life as a real family, and with Emmy already sleeping in her room upstairs, the only company he had were Crispin, a bottle of beer and some game running on the 65-inch flatscreen in his man cave. For sure not the worst Friday night, though watching the game with his brother or friends or even better, with Erin while they would eat the lasagna he'd prepared for dinner today would of course be the kind of Friday night he preferred.

It was around 10pm, the Cubs game in its last inning, when Erin called him to tell him that they were on their way back to the precinct, their bust not having been as effective as they'd hoped as they had only been able to arrest two suspects that were now brought in by Hank and Antonio in their cars.

″Does this mean I have to work tomorrow?″ Jay asked her, not being able to hide a sigh. He'd really hoped that this bust would tie all lose ends of their case up so they could have their weekend all for themselves and not with Erin and Emilia at home while he was in the 21st.

″Could be,″ Erin answered. In fact, chances were pretty high that he would spend the day in the bullpen, working overtime on a Saturday because the case required the unit to be there this weekend. ″We'll see what we get from them now but I'm sure they're not the head of the snake.″

″Most probably not,″ he agreed, knowing very well that this case was a tricky one and two perps were by far not all of this crew. ″But hey, on to the important things: how was the late night bust in general?″

″Uhm...all sorts of exciting and amazing,″ she chuckled and only imagining how her eyes sparkled right now made him smile.

″Of course it was amazing, she had the most amazing partner after all,″ Adam suddenly said, thanks to the free-hands device being able to listen to every word of their conversation.

″Shut it, Ruze,″ Erin laughed, adding: ″But I guess he was kinda okay.″

″Kinda okay?″ Adam echoed.

″Take it, Adam. This is as much of a compliment as you will get,″ Jay chuckled.

″Exactly,″ Erin agreed and only from her voice Jay could tell that she was smirking. With dimples and all. ″So I guess it'll take at least two more hours until I'm home so you can go to b-,″ she said but then stopped suddenly. He could hear their radios talking in the background and figured that this was the reason for the abrupt silence. ″Hold on for a second.″

He tried to understand what was happening and what they were told via their radios but he couldn't understand the tiniest bit as there were too many other background noises and the voice wasn't clear and loud enough.

″Apparently there have shots been fired in Pilsen,″ she informed him some seconds later while Adam was answering something into the radio. ″We're like three minutes out and don't have any suspects in the car, so we'll go and check it out.″

″Alright,″ Jay answered, the knots in his stomach tightening a little. A shooting in Pilsen in the middle of the night and as it seemed right now, Erin and Adam being the only cops there, at least until some patrol units arrived. ″Be safe.″

″Will be,″ Erin said, an unspoken I-love-you in the air, and the next thing he heard before she hung up was how she started the sirens.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

The rain was pouring down like heaven has opened up all gates, the Windy City doing its name justice in addition, when Erin slammed on the breaks of the 300 as they arrived at the adress where the shots had been reported by some neighbors, those very same neighbors looking out of their windows and telling them from which apartment of the quite shabby apartment building they'd heard the shots only around five minutes ago.

″I think it was in number 110, right across from my apartment,″ an older woman said, fear written across her face.

″Thanks ma'am,″ Erin said. ″Please close your window and stay inside.″

With their guns at arm's length, ready to be fired any second, they made their way through the staircase to apartment 110. There was a chance that the shooter was still around, probably hiding somewhere in the staircase or in the apartment itself but chances were much higher that he'd used those five minutes to flee and was now in the wind already.

″Chicago PD!″ Adam yelled just before he busted through the door and into apartment 110, Erin following close behind. They cleared the small hallway and the bathroom on the right, nothing to be seen so far.

″Clear!″ Adam yelled from what seemed to be a mix of a living room and bedroom.

Erin wished she could say the same. ″Body!″ she yelled back from the kitchen, looking down at the young boy that was probably not older than16 and that was lying in a puddle of his own blood, his eyes wide open, one gunshot wound to the head and one to the chest.

″Clear,″ Adam called from the last room of the small apartment and joined her in the kitchen where she was already kneeling besides the victim, calling the crime in and demanding backup.

″He's just a kid,″ Erin said to her partner, her voice somewhat hoarse and she wasn't able to turn her head away from the blonde boy with the dead, blue eyes. ″Looks like they shot him in the chest and when he was already lying on the ground, they shot him in the head, execution style.″

″Gang crime?″ Adam asked.

″Probably,″ she sighed.

″How old is he even? 15?″ he asked, shaking his head.

″Yeah, something around that,″ Erin confirmed.

″Which gang shoots a 15 year old white boy in his home? And where are the parents?″

″That's what we're going to find out I guess,″ she said, both of their heads spinning around in that very same second as they heard a noise, something like a crack, from the room Adam had cleared two minutes ago.

″I thought you cleared that room?!″ Erin whispered, her heartbeat picking up its pace as she shot her partner a glare that could easily put him six feet under, her hand reaching for the gun in the holster on her belt in the same moment she jumped up from the floor.

″I did,″ Adam said, his hand firming around his gun already as well.

With their guns in front of them they went back to the bedroom, expecting to find the shooter hidden somewhere in this small room that consisted of a wardrobe, a dresser and two beds, one of them a children's bed that was definitely not made for a 15-year-old but rather for a much smaller child. They checked the wardrobe but didn't find anything other than some clothes which left the only place where someone could hide the space under the bigger of the two beds. Even before they could check that one out, a silent sob from this exact place under the bed startled them shortly and putting two and two together, the cry and the children's bed, Erin knew that they wouldn't find the shooter under the bed.

″Chicago PD!″ Adam called, obviously not being able to identify this cry as a scared child's cry.

″Adam,″ Erin said, putting her gun back in her holster. ″There's no need for this,″ she said, motioning her head to his gun. She got down on her knees, almost lay down on the floor herself when she tried to catch a glimpse, the light of her flashlight finding the face of a little boy, probably around four years old, his eyes wide and scared, tears running down his face, his little body shaking.

″Hey buddy,″ Erin said, her voice all calm and soothing. ″My name is Erin Lindsay and I'm with the Chicago Police Department.″ Sometimes it still felt weird that she had two different names, was Erin Lindsay when she was working and Erin Halstead anytime else. ″Do you want to tell me your name?″ she asked.

The little boy stared at her with those eyes full of fear and tears and then shook his head slightly.

″Okay, that's fine bud. Just so you know, me and my colleague Adam are here now and we'll take care that nothing bad happens to you,″ Erin said, getting a little closer to the traumatized boy who immediately backed away and tried to get even deeper into the corner. ″Can you maybe do me a favor and come out from there?″

Once again the boy only stared and his lips stayed motionless, his head shaking in the slightest way.

″Okaaaay,″ Erin breathed out, for a second contemplaiting the options she had. She didn't want to traumatize the boy any further by simply crawling to him and pulling him with her. He'd probably witnessed a crime tonight, probably saw a dead family member, so what he needed was time. Time to calm down, time to learn that he could trust her. And it was on her to calm him down and to earn his trust.

″So you don't want to come out and I guess you don't want me to join you either, right?″ she asked, hoping that her voice was as comforting for the boy as she wanted and he needed it to be.

He didn't take his eyes away from her for a single second but this time, instead of shaking his head, he nodded slowly which was one of many steps into the right direction. Hopefully. Because right now he had walls up as huge as her own had once been.

Erin gazed around under the bed, found some pillows and blankets and toys and books spreaded around everywhere. ″When I was a kid, I didn't want anyone in my fort as well,″ she said. ″I mean, this is your fort, right?″

This time the nod came faster and not as reluctant anymore and she didn't know whether it was the flashlight but it seemed like his face lightened up a bit.

″I used to build forts under my bed as well when I was a child,″ she told him, revealing a piece of her childhood that she probably hasn't told anyone so far. ″I always had some toys and books with me and I could just forget the world around me and be in my own world for a while. It was always like my safe place. Where I was protected from all the bad things. But your fort is so much cooler and bigger, I'm kinda jealous right now that I never had one like this,″ she said, giving the boy a smile. He didn't give her one back but at least he listened to her attentively, seemed to soak her words in.

″You know, I would really like to see all of your fort so I can one day build one like this with my daughter. Am I allowed to come just a little closer so I can take a look?″ she asked.

Though the intense look on his face stayed the same, he nodded his head, allowing Erin to make this next little step. Carefully she crawled further under the bed, still leaving some distance between her and the boy so she wouldn't scare him. One step after the other.

″This is absolutely amazing,″ she smiled at him. ″This might be the best fort in Chicago.″

″Did you see the stars?″ the boy asked much to her surprise, his voice nothing more than a whisper and he rolled over onto his side, pointing to some stars that were glued onto the downside of the bed. Erin turned her head a little so she could see them as well because she wasn't able to turn around completely and would probably have a stiff neck on the following day anyway thanks to her current position.

″They are glowing in the dark,″ he added just as silent.

″They do?″ Erin asked. ″I wanna see that,″ she smiled and turned her flashlight off.

″See, they're glowing!″ the boy said, his voice louder and a little more excited.

″Wow, this is awesome,″ Erin answered, her brain trying to find a way to keep the boy talking. ″I didn't have something like that when I was a child. But I liked it anyway because I could hide when my mom and one of her boyfriends were fighting. Or when any other bad things happened. I always felt safe in my fort.″

″Me too,″ he admitted, his answer being enough for Erin to know that he'd witnessed something earlier no child should ever have to witness. Whether it was the murder itself or just hearing the shots or seeing the dead body she didn't know but seeing the boy getting more uneasy again, she figured that it was too early to dug deeper and ask for more details.

″You know, now that I've seen your fort, I'll tell my daughter about it tomorrow. But I don't know what I should tell her: does the greatest fort in Chicago belong to Cayden or to Ben or to Paul or to Evan? I guess I just have to make something up here and can't give you the credit you deserve,″ she shrugged and made an attempt to crawl away, praying inwardly that this little trick would do it.

And it did.

″Luke,″ he said quickly. ″It's Luke's fort.″

″Luke,″ Erin echoed. ″Nice to meet you, Luke, master of the fort.″

″Master of the fort,″ he whispered proudly and for the first time a smile rushed over his face.

″That's what you are, right?″ Erin winked. ″But sometimes even the master has to leave its fort to take care of some very important things. So maybe we can leave your fort together so you can help me with something very important?″

″No,″ he said, shaking his head vehement, the smile leaving his face again. ″It's not safe outside.″

″I promise you that I'll keep you safe and that nothing will happen to you. There's nothing you have to be afraid of and I'll be there to protect you. Come on, buddy,″ Erin said, her voice ever so soft, offering her hand to the boy slowly, desperately hoping that he wouldn't back away again.

She had no idea whether it was her soft, soothing voice or her words or the fact that he already trusted her a bit or a mix of all of them but he reached for the hand she offered him.

Erin embraced his tiny, cold hand and gave it a little squeeze before she started to crawl back while pulling Luke, who was still reluctant, with her. As soon as they were out, she helped him on his feet but when he saw Adam, who'd turned the light on in the meantime, standing in the room, he automatically hid behind her legs.

″It's fine Luke. That's my friend Adam and he's a really nice guy,″ she said and knelt down so she was eye-to-eye with him. Only now she saw that his Spiderman-pajama was wet, the blonde boy with the grey eyes obviously not having been able to control his bladder due to being as scared as never before.

″How about we look for a new pajama for you while Adam goes outside and talks to some of our colleagues?″

″Mhm,″ he mumbled and nodded.

″Alright,″ she said, motioning her head to Adam to signalise him that he could leave the room and inform all the other cops that should be here any second, the sirens already hearable in the distance.

″Hell of a job, partner,″ Adam said truly impressed before he left, giving her an appreciative nod and a small smile.

In the third dresser, she found a monstertruck-pajama and she helped Luke to slip into it after undressing the old one that she put beside neatly so Forensics could put it into one of their plastic bags later just to be sure.

″Do we wanna play a game? I ask you a question and then you can ask me one,″ she suggested after pulling the top piece over his head and ordered his unruly blonde, wavy hair.

″Okay,″ Luke agreed and climbed onto his bed, Erin sitting down next to him.

″How old are you?″ she asked, deciding that she had to start slow.

″Almost five,″ he said, showing her five of his fingers. ″My birthday's on Halloween.″

″That's some cool day to have a birthday,″ she smiled.

″Yaaah,″ he smiled back.

″So now it would be your turn to ask me something.″

″Uuuuhm...how old are you?″

″32.″

″32?″ Luke echoed, trying to count 32 with his fingers. ″That's old.″

Well thank you, Erin thought. ″Just a liiiiiittle older than you, bud,″ she winked, showing him the small margin with her fingers. ″Where's your mommy and daddy tonight?″

″I don't have a daddy and mommy is working. The whole weekend,″ he answered like it was the most normal thing in the world. And probably for him it was.

″Who's taking care of you this weekend?″ Erin frowned.

″Ey, it's my turn,″ Luke giggled and for the first time he seemed like a normal, goofy 4-year old.

″Oh yeah, right,″ Erin sighed. Although she just wanted to forget about the game right now and find out what was going on here, she had to keep playing the game if that was the way to keep Luke talking and earn more of his trust.

″Where are your parents tonight?″ he repeated her question.

″I don't have a mom anymore and my dad is working,″ she answered quickly. ″Luke, who's taking care of you this weekend?″ she asked again and though she didn't have all the pieces, she had a pretty good idea. One that she hoped the little boy wouldn't confirm.

″Ty.″

″Who's Ty?″

″Tyler. He's my mommy's brother,″ he explained.

″Do you all live here together?″

″Yes,″ Luke confirmed. ″It's me and mom and Tyler. The Three Musketeers.″

″Does Tyler still go to school?″ Erin asked, hoping inwardly that he would tell her no and his uncle wasn't the dead boy outside but rather some older man who'd left him alone for whatever reason.

″Yes. But he doesn't like it.″

″Okay,″ Erin breathed out. ″I think we have to call your mom, buddy.″

″We can't. We can't call her when she's working the whole weekend. We have to wait until she's back on Sunday.″ Once again he said it ever so casual like he was more than used to this circumstance and Erin had a slight suspicion that whatever his mother was working wasn't exactly legal.

″Then we have to take a ride,″ she said, got up and reached for his hand. ″Come on.″

″No,″ Luke said quietly. ″It's dangerous there,″ he added and pointed to the door of his room.

″Did you see or hear anything earlier?″ Erin asked carefully.

At first, he only nodded his head, tears looming in his eyes, his lips trembling. ″There...there were two really loud noises and they really scared me.″

″But you didn't see anything?″

He shook his head no, Erin letting out a breath of relief. ″I crawled into my fort to hide.″

″It was really good that you did this, Luke,″ Erin said, giving him a weak smile, her hand stroking over his cheek. ″But we need to get out there now anyway and I promise you that you're safe. Because I'm with you. Anything or anyone that tries to scare you again first has to scare me, okay?″

″You promise?″

″I promise,″ she nodded. ″How about I carry you out and you hide your head on my shoulder?″

″Okay.″

″Good, then let's do it like this.″

Looking for some socks in the closet, Erin also found a pair of shoes and a jacket and she helped him to put it all on. She put some more clothes into a bag and then scooped him up into her arms, went to his bed, grabbed the cozy blanket that lay on top and asked him for his favorite stuffy that turned out to be Pluto from Mickey Mouse. Fortunately, they didn't have to go through the kitchen on their way out but Erin preferred him to hide his head against her shoulder anyway so he didn't see all the other cops invading the place that was his home.

Reaching the car, he suddenly lifted his head. ″Erin?″ he asked her with tired eyes and she was honestly surprised that he remembered her name. ″Where's Ty?″

″Uhm...he just...can't take care of you right now,″ she lied. He's been through enough already tonight and he didn't have to learn about the death of his uncle now as well, that there were only two of the three Musketeers left.

″Will you?″ he asked.

″What?″ she asked back, putting him down on the backseat. They didn't have a car seat for him in the 300 naturally, but for once she would give the steering wheel to Adam so she could sit right beside Luke and make sure that he was safe.

″Take care of me,″ he whispered.

Without hesitating and thinking about it any further she nodded her head and said: ″Of course.″

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

By the time they arrived at the 21st, Luke was sleeping and as soon as they were up in the bullpen, that was unusally busy with the unit suddenly having two cases to take care of, Erin tucked him in on the couch in the break room.

″How's the kid?″ Hank asked as she closed the door behind her.

″Pretty shaken but more or less okay,″ she answered, running her hand through her hair and glancing at the sleeping boy.

″He's more or less okay thanks to you, Erin,″ Adam winked. ″Seriously boss, she was amazing with him.″

″I can imagine,″ Hank nodded. Ever since being a mother, Erin was even better with kids than before although she'd been the best to really get through to them before as well. ″Where's the mom?″

″We don't know right now,″ Erin said, biting her lower lip because things were about to get a little difficult now. ″But we'll find out. The mom's brother, our victim Tyler Jackson, was supposed to take care of him.″

″So she left her minor son alone with her minor brother for the whole weekend?″ Hank asked, his voice rising a little.

″Not the first mom who did that,″ Erin shrugged and she had no idea why these words had left her mouth at all and why she was defending a woman who she didn't know and who'd left her 4-year-old son alone with a 15-year-old boy that was likely connected with a gang.

Hank gave her this look she knew too well and only he out of all people would give her but didn't say anything about it. ″You called DCFS already?″

″No,″ she answered shortly, almost snappishly like she was challenging him and out of nowhere the air around them was unbelievably thick.

″Erin, I have two suspects of a drug ring downstairs in the cage that sell dope that kills kids all over Chicago. That's what I have to take care of right now, so please go and call DCFS,″ Hank said and for the first time in months his voice was strict, him being the Sergeant and her only the Detective that worked in his unit.

″No,″ she said again, her voice just as strict, her eyes never leaving his. ″It's almost midnight and I'm not putting him into the system tonight. I don't leave him with a foster family he doesn't know and trust after everything he went through.″

″So what's your genius plan then?″ Hank asked although he already knew the answer.

″I'm taking him home with me,″ she breathed out, telling him about this decision she'd made in the moment Luke had asked her whether she would take care of him.

″You know as good as I that you can't do that, Erin. This has to go through DCFS. I know these cases are hard and motherhood probably made you a little more emotional over it than before but these are the rules. He has to be placed with child services.″

″Yeah, screw the rules,″ she snapped, the sudden fire in her eyes threatening to burn down the bullpen. This boy would not be taken away from child services tonight, no matter what because right now she was sure that she was about the only person who could give him the comfort he needed, who was able to understand the demons he would probably have to deal with during the night. And she'd made a promise. ″And if it's motherhood's fault that I care for a boy that witnessed a crime tonight, if it's motherhood's fault that I don't want him to get any more traumatized by giving him to new people again, if it's motherhood's fault that I know what's best for him, so be it. At least I can sleep well tonight because I don't have to wonder how he's doing and whether he feels safe. So I take him home with me now and then we'll figure something out tomorrow and maybe we find his mother and he doesn't have to be put with a foster family at all.″

This time Hank didn't say anything against it, just kept on staring her in the eyes and his features seemed to soften a little. ″You'll try to find the mother first thing in the morning.″

″I'll be here tomorrow and maybe I can get more information about her from Luke,″ she nodded.

″Okay, then you're off the clock now. Go home and get him to bed,″ Hank said, motioning his head to the boy before turning around to go back downstairs to the cage.

″You sure you wanna do this?″ Adam asked now that he was finally able to breathe again instead of trying to be invisible.

″Absolutely.″

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

The noise of the key turning in the lock jolted Jay awake from his slumber. As a former soldier it usually didn't need much for him to wake up. He yawned and rubbed his sleepy eyes so he could open them a little more and reached for his phone that lay on the couch besides him. 12.41am. In case he really had to work on the following day, it would definitely be a short night. Again.

He got up from the couch and shuffled to the hallway, ready to kiss Erin and go upstairs with her so they could fall asleep all snuggled up to each other after a day of not having spent a lot of time with each other. Halfway through their huge living- and dining room with the open kitchen she came walking towards him and for a moment he was sure that his tired eyes were playing tricks on him because his wife was carrying a child that was definitely not Emilia, a cozy blanket losely wrapped around it to keep it warm, Erin holding a stuffy in her hand as well.

″Uhm...hey,″ he said, confusion written all over his face, his eyes scanning the blonde boy that slept against her shoulder.

″Hey,″ she smiled weakly, tiredly and maybe kind of nervously.

″Who's that?″ he asked instantly, this question literally burning on his tongue.

″Well...″ Erin sighed, glancing at the boy and then back to him. ″That's Luke...″

Thanks for reading, I hope you liked and enjoyed it! :) Please leave a review and let me know what you think, your feedback always makes my days so much better!