46. Brothers

Thank y'all so much for your feedback on my last chapter, you guys are the best! I hope you enjoy this one as well :)

Disclaimer: I still own nada.

46. Brothers

The days of March passed as fast as the days of February had and time was literally flying by. Which had the positive side effect that slowly but steady the Chicagoans could hope that winter was gone for good and that spring would arrive step by step now. Although they all knew that mid March wasn't the time to already cheer that winter was over. But for that time of the year it was surprisingly sunny already and most days the sky was crystal blue and strolling through parks, along the lake or through downtown was a lot more fun than before since the temperatures also reached nicer, more enjoyable levels.

One evening Jay came home from work and found Erin and Emilia on the couch, with Erin making silly faces. When she turned her head to him, she smiled as bright as a kid on Christmas morning and told him that Emmy had really, purposely smiled at her for the very first time. With having a beaming smile on his own face as well, he joined her on the couch and the rest of the evening consisted of trying to get Emilia to smile at both of them. With success.

On another evening Hank volunteered to babysit, so they of course didn't say no and used their free evening to have dinner in a nice, little, Italian restaurant in the Loop, discussing about their honeymoon again, finally agreeing that they would want to go to whatever destination they would decide for as just the two of them for a couple of days before they would return to Chicago and then drive to Wisconsin as a family. In case Hank would agree to take care of Emilia for a week. On the one hand Erin liked the thought of spending time just with him and having a real honeymoon, on the other hand she didn't like the thought of leaving her baby for so long and maybe she would change her mind again and in the end Emilia would come with them anyway. This was an option she also told Jay about and he just grinned in response and said that they would do whatever she felt good with.

On the weekend, Saturday afternoon to be precise, they first went baby clothes shopping as most of Emilia's newborn clothes were a little tight by now, and only the ones that had been too big for her in the beginning still fit, just as everyone had predicted their baby was growing way too fast for their liking, and then ended their day with a stroll along the lake while watching the sun go down, discussing about some really interesting observations they'd made in the baby store earlier.

Their Sunday was then spent with lots of morning cuddles in their bed and a really lazy day in general that only consisted of enjoying their rare time as a family, whether it was with taking a stroll, cooking together, just watching Emmy sleeping or trying to entertain her somehow by showing her different toys, telling her stories or making silly faces. It was only when the evening arrived when a little dynamic got into their low day as Erin wanted to go to the theater with Kim for a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' night, consisting of the first film and the newly released second one, while Jay had invited Will and Mouse to watch the game and turn their living room into a man cave for once. Three men, sports on TV and a baby. Erin was sure this evening was going to be epic for them and she kinda toyed with the idea to install a camera just to have the opportunity to watch later how it all turned out.

″Hey Mouse,″ Erin greeted her fiancé's best friend and hugged him shortly after he'd knocked on their door.

″Hey Erin, how are you doing?″ he asked, giving her a shy smile, and followed her into the apartment, leaving his shoes and his jacket in the hallway.

″Couldn't be any better, what about you?″ she asked back while walking into the kitchen to put the bowls with nachos and haribos on the coffee table. Since Jay had taken a bath with Emilia and was currently dressing her in the nursery, she was the one in charge to organize all the little snacks.

″Just as fine,″ Mouse answered and sat down on the couch. ″Where's Jay?″

″Making Emmy ready for the night, so you guys can hopefully enjoy an undisturbed evening,″ she laughed. ″Do you want a beer?″

″Yes, please,″ Mouse nodded and a couple of seconds later Erin joined him on the couch, thrusting a bottle of beer into his hand.

″Here you go.″

″Thanks. And cheers,″ Mouse smirked, clinking his bottle with Erin's glass of water before taking a gulp.

″So...,″ Erin started after also taking a sip from her water and placed her glass back on the coffee table. There was one thing she was beyond curious about and she really needed to ask him about by now. One thing she hasn't exactly forgotten about during the last few weeks since Emilia was born but during the rare times she had seen him, the moment had never been right. There had always been someone with them who wasn't supposed to hear about it since she'd promised to keep it a secret. But now, with Jay being in the nursery, she had to take the chance. Although she didn't know whether Jay maybe even knew about it by now. They had never talked about it, because she'd made a promise, and she didn't know whether Mouse had ever told Jay about it in the bullpen. She'd only figured Mouse rather hadn't because otherwise Jay would most probably know about her being his partner in crime and would've talked with her about it, about her pulling the strings in the background. But since he hasn't approached her about it thus far, she assumed Mouse's lovelife was still supposed to be kept on the down low.

″I know I'm a real bad friend for only asking this now but I hope you forgive me as my life was a tad bit crazy these last few weeks...but that doesn't mean I've not been curious,″ Erin apologized rambling, grinning mischievously. ″How did your date with Sarah go? You know...the one you asked me about in Molly's a couple of days before Emmy was born.″

″Uhm...,″ Mouse hemmed and hawed, his cheeks turning into a slight reddish color, his eyes fixating on the beer bottle in his hands. ″It was...good,″ he mumbled under his breath and Erin was sure to see the slightest of smiles on his lips although he tried his best to not look at her.

″Good?″ Erin dug deeper. ″Come on Mouse, I'm your partner in crime here, you gotta give me more than that,″ she chuckled.

″What do you want to hear?″ he shrugged and lifted his head to look at her again, his cheeks still slightly blushed.

″I don't want all the details...but...I don't know...how did it go? Did she like it? Did you see each other again? Are you maybe even dating now? I mean it's been seven weeks now, right? So there must be some progress...or not?″ she asked, her voice turning a little uncertain as Mouse's facial expression stayed exactly the same. His pokerface for sure wasn't the worst.

″It was good. She liked it a lot and it was a perfect day and I will forever be thankful for all your tips and for forcing me to make a step into her direction. But other than that all I'm going to say is that...I might need a wedding invitation for me plus one...if possible,″ he said, biting his lip in an attempt to hide his bright smile but he failed completely. Maybe his pokerface wasn't as good as Erin thought.

″That shouldn't be a big deal,″ Erin grinned, giving him a little wink that signalised him that she'd understood him, was happy for him and would not ask him any more questions regarding his private life.

″Thanks,″ Mouse smiled. ″And really thanks, Erin. I'm almost sure without you things would be different now.″

″Whenever you need me,″ Erin winked. ″Does Jay know about it?″

″No,″ he answered and shook his head, giving her the cutest little smile yet again. ″So far you're the only one who knows about it. There hasn't been the right moment to tell him so far, so can you keep it a secret for a little while longer?″

″Of course,″ she nodded.

″Thanks, I really appreciate it,″ he smiled before he decided for a change of topic. ″When are you coming back to work though? The bullpen really misses you.″

″I really miss the bullpen as well and all of you dorks of course but...I don't know,″ she shrugged. ″Not for a while I think,″ she added pensively before they kept on talking about work, their colleagues and their current cases, which Erin was of course in the loop about as she was a regular guest in the 21st, for a little while longer until Jay and Emilia joined them. But the four of them weren't alone for long as Will arrived only a couple of minutes later. After a quick smalltalk with the man who was soon going to be her brother-in-law, and checking the time, Erin realized that she was already running late and that Kim was probably already impatiently waiting for her to pick her up.

″Have fun guys,″ Erin waved after giving both, Emilia and Jay, a kiss.

″You too,″ Will said before Erin left the three men and her daughter alone and closed the door from the outside.

″What are they going to watch again?″ Will asked his brother afterwards, sinking into the armchair next to the couch.

″First Fifty Shades Of Grey and then the new one, Fifty Shades Darker or something like this.″

″Uuugh,″ Will chuckled. ″Guess tonight is going to be great for you, huh?″ he teased him, a dorky grin covering his whole face and Mouse couldn't hide a laughter as well.

″Oh shut up,″ Jay laughed.

″Come on, don't say you didn't think about it. I mean, she'll learn a lot of...dirty...hot...stuff, won't she?″ Will also laughed and Jay only shook his head in response.

″He's blushing,″ Mouse stated matter-of-factly.

″Of course he is,″ Will chuckled. ″He knows what's in store for him ton...-″

″Stop it. Right now,″ Jay laughed. Up to a certain degree joking about it was fine but their boys night out was not supposed to be a discussion about his and Erin's sex life.

″Alright,″ Will grinned. ″Just know that we're really excited for you.″

″Yeah, thanks, so generous,″ Jay answered.

″I know I am, thanks,″ he smirked.

″I'd rather say it's jealousy talking, but whatsoever,″ Jay laughed, deciding that this was enough. Their evening hasn't even really started yet and they were already talking about that kind of stuff so who knew where this would end in general. ″Alright, change of topic right here: I ordered pizza, should be here in a bit. Do you want a beer? Wine? Long drink? Water?″

″Did you really suggest water? We're watching the Hawks game man,″ Will laughed.

″Okay, so beer for you,″ Jay grinned. ″Take her for a minute,″ he then said and handed Emilia to Will.

″Hey my favorite baby girl,″ Will smiled as Jay placed her in his arms but his smile kinda fell from his face when he saw what kind of onesie she was wearing.

″Oh come on Jay, really? The Cubs?! Was there really the need to dress her in a Cubbies outfit tonight?″ Will complained, making a distgusted face. Will has always been a Sox fan, like the whole Halstead family in fact. Except of Jay. He's been the rebel of the family in so many ways and so it wasn't that surprising that he's been a Cubs fan all the way along. Maybe in the beginning just because he'd wanted to be different than his family but he'd sticked with 'his' Cubs and became a real fanboy.

″Hey, who won the World Series?″ Jay asked from the kitchen and although Will couldn't see his face he knew only from the sound of his voice that there was a winning smile on it.

″Don't even remind me of this disaster,″ Will sighed. ″You grew up in Canaryville bro. It's a crime to cheer for the Cubs when you're a Canaryville-boy. It's like cheating on where you come from.″

″Don't dramatize it. Just because we won a title the Sox will never win,″ Jay laughed and joined them again, placing Will's beer on the coffee table.

″True that,″ Mouse agreed, bumping his fist with Jay's. His best friend was a Cubs fan as well and after returning from war and struggling with their lives, attending the games occasionally had been quite a welcome distraction.

″Admit it, you dressed her like this on purpose,″ Will said, still grimacing while eyeing the logo yet again.

″Maybe,″ Jay shrugged, smirking innocently at his older brother. Of course he had. It wouldn't be Jay if he hadn't.

″Emilia, you know what: I'm going to buy you a way cooler outfit, what do you think?″ Will asked the baby and tickled her stomach softly. ″Sox forever, right?″

″Don't waste your hardly earned money on an outfit she'll never wear,″ Jay laughed.

″She'll outgrow this one soon anyway,″ Will answered.

″No worries, she already has the next size in her closet,″ Jay grinned. Thanks to all their friends, who were Cubs fans as well, she would always have Cubs-clothes in the right size in her dresser.

″Emmy, don't listen to your daddy, you'll get one from your uncle Will anyway, I promise,″ he told the baby that stared at him with awake eyes. Emilia had a way to focus on people with her bright blue eyes, it was incredible. ″God, she's grown so much already.″

″Don't even mention it,″ Jay sighed, taking a gulp from his beer. ″Parts of us want her to stay small forever but then again we're pretty excited to see her changing and growing up. But...just not as fast.″

″Yeah, I understand,″ Will nodded. ″I guess you guys can go shopping every week now.″

″We actually were for the first time since she was born yesterday. At a really nice store Natalie told Erin about in the Zumba class on Monday,″ Jay said, giving his brother a meaningful glance that signalised Will that there was something they needed to talk about. Later, when they maybe were alone as Jay didn't want to expose his brother. ″They had lots of cute stuff and we already bought things for the summer,″ Jay added as he saw that Will didn't really know what to answer to this statement.

″I...I bet she'll look adorable wearing them,″ Will smiled, Emilia starting to get a little grumpy in her uncle's arm. Which was something he was quite thankful for as it was a welcome change of topic yet again. ″What's wrong little lady? You want to go back to daddy?″ he asked her and got up to give her back to Jay.

″Hey Emmy what's the deal?″ Jay whispered as soon as she was in his arms. He rocked her gently and then pressed her against his chest, tickling her neck and head a little or patting her back. Just as almost always when she was with him, she started to get calmer instantly. Daddy's girl without a doubt.

″Damn Jay, I still can't believe you're a father,″ Mouse said by this quite cute sight of Emilia comfortably resting on Jay's chest, her tiny fingers clawing into Jay's shirt while he traced circles onto her back to soothe her.

″It's crazy, right?″ Jay grinned, placing a short kiss on the top of Emmy's head.

″It is,″ Mouse answered pensively. ″I mean, a couple years back, have you thought that your life would look like this one day? That things turn out like this?″

″No,″ Jay said honestly, thinking back to the time after coming home from war, when he'd been at the darkest of places, not knowing how to go on. ″When I was able to see things a little more positive again, I maybe dreamed about it. Finding this special someone and settling down with her, maybe even start a family at some point. But it was just that: a dream. Especially after everything I went through I didn't think that good things would happen to me. And I was realistic enough to know that dreams coming true is a rare thing.″

″But sometimes they do,″ Mouse smirked.

″Yes, sometimes they do,″ Jay echoed, looking down to his little daughter smilingly. His dreams have come true indeed. They've more than just come true in fact. He'd found the love of his life, his partner for eternity and she'd blessed him with the greatest gift by making him a father. And in some short months he would be allowed to call this very special person, who'd let all of his dreams come true, his wife.

″You absolutely deserve that,″ Mouse said and clinked his bottle with Jay's and then with Will's. ″Cheers. To...the things we deserve...and a great evening.″

″Cheers,″ they echoed. While the cold liquid ran down his throat, Jay's mind was already one step further as there was another topic he really needed to adress by now. Something that had of course to do with the wedding, something that really fit into this moment as they've just had this kinda deep conversation, especially given the fact that this was supposed to be a goofy boys night out.

″So, as we're all in a really sentimental mood right now and have these meaningful conversations as it seems...″ Jay said after taking a gulp from his beer and chuckled slightly, ″there's another thing I need to talk about with you.″

A moment of silence occured as Will and Mouse just looked at him frowing, waiting for him to continue talking expectantly. But Jay's brain was still occupied with forming the best possible way to say this as he didn't one anyone to get hurt by his decision.

″Soooo?″ Will broke the silence and when Jay looked at him he saw the curiosity on his brother's face.

″Well,″ Jay sighed, ″as you know, I'm going to marry soon but yet I don't have a best man. Because making a decision had not been that easy but I finally made one. I really had to by now,″ he said and made another short pause, looking from Will to Mouse and back to Will.

″You both are two of the most important people in my life and I consider you both as my best friends, as my brothers. Will,″ he said and turned his head to him. ″You are just as much my best friend as Mouse is,″ he told him and looking at Mouse he said: ″And you are as much my brother as Will is. So you can imagine why it was quite hard for me to make a decision because I want you both to be my best men. But as this would maybe be a bit awkward I had to decide for one of you...and it's not that I chose one over the other, just that you know...but thanks to you, Mouse, I'm here today. You saved my life and dragged me home and I owe you so much. So I wanted to ask you whether you want to be my best man,″ he finally breathed out after rambling quite a lot, giving his best friend a weak smile but before the latter could answer, Jay looked at Will again, for a second being afraid to see deep disappointment on his face. But there was none. He just smiled approvingly.

″This is not a decision against you. It's just...without Mouse I wouldn't be where I am today,″ he said and it really sounded like he was apologizing.

″Hey Jay, this is the perfect decision. Without Mouse there would most probably be no wedding and I would most likely not have a brother anymore, so there's no one else to be your best man other than Mouse,″ Will smiled. ″I mean, you're going to do it Mouse, right?″

″Uhm...yeah, thanks Jay, I feel honored to be your best man. And by the things you said. But without you I would not have been able to overcome my fears back then and...″ he said and his voice trailed off.

″Maybe not. But you found a safe place when we needed one. When I wasn't able to walk you carried me there. There's no doubt in my mind that you saved my life that day.″

″Mhm,″ Mouse nodded mechanically. Talking about their time in Afghanistan was still hard for him, even harder than for Jay. While Jay had been able to close this chapter of his life, at least more or less, Mouse still struggled with these demons. This didn't mean that Jay has forgotten about this time when he had served for his country, because how could he ever? He still thought a lot about all of his comrades and all the soldiers that were still trying to bring peace to this country. He still had all the cruel pictures in his head from time to time, picuters of his fallen comrades and of dead kids. But he'd been able to move on, to find true happiness again, while Mouse was only in the phase of moving on right now.

″Thanks Jay,″ Mouse said again. ″Thanks for asking. This really means a lot,″ he said and a little smile returned to his face.

″Thanks for accepting and I hope it won't get too stressful,″ Jay winked.

″Just a question,″ Will interposed. ″I'm still allowed to organize the bachelor's party, right? Because I already have some mad ideas, so if you need help Mouse, don't hesitate to ask me,″ he laughed.

″No no no no no,″ Jay laughed. ″This is just a second reason why I chose Mouse. Because he's definitely the more reliable and reasonable of the two of you. So please buddy, abstain from taking any advice from him.″

″We'll see,″ Mouse smirked mischievously. ″I think I will at least listen to his ideas.″

″Awesome,″ Jay answered and rolled his eyes, already sensing that his bachelor's party would become something really special, positive or negative remained to be seen. ″Just no strip clubs. And no Vegas.″

″This my friend,″ Mouse grinned, ″is out of your hands now.″

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Their evening consisted of men jokes, of heated discussions about the game they watched and of entertaining Emmy when she was awake and needed attention, which she of course got from all three of them. Making silly faces was the easiest thing for them to do and talking in baby voices wasn't a big deal either. And shortly before the evening came to an end, Mouse used the chance and even told Jay and Will that he's been dating Sarah for almost two months though he didn't mention the small detail that Erin had been his partner in crime all the way along.

″So Mouse has a girlfriend,″ Will said after Mouse had left and only the two brothers were in the apartment, Jay already starting to clean up. ″I can't believe it.″

″I can't believe it took him so long. My accident was in August and that was when he first met her. And I can't believe he was able to keep it a secret. I mean, how did he do that?″ Jay chuckled and shook his head. He was absolutely delighted for his best friend and he hoped that Mouse's new happiness would help him to overcome all the issues regarding his past he still had.

″Still waters run deep,″ Will grinned. ″But honestly, you and Erin kept your relationship on the down low in the beginning either. I think it's a normal thing to do to not share it with everyone as long as it's nothing...serious.″

″Will, I kissed her in Molly's. In front of your eyes, in front of everyone's eyes. I wouldn't exactly say that this is keeping a relationship on the down low,″ Jay laughed.

″I remember that, believe me,″ Will also laughed, thinking back to the moment his little brother had simply kissed Erin in crowded Molly's and had left her a little stunned and speechless with this unexpected outburst of his feelings. ″But afterwards you kinda took things slow for a couple of weeks, didn't you?″ he asked and it almost sounded like he was asking for advice.

″Yeah maybe,″ Jay shrugged, ″because everything was still fragile, it was a new situation for both of us and it was new to us that we were actually allowed to date, that we were allowed to show PDA. We were used to keep any kind of tenderness behind doors, to keep our feelings to ourselves and enjoy them in private. So yeah, it took us a while until we really showed our relationship in public more often,″ Jay explained.

″Mhm,″ Will nodded thoughtfully.

″Soooo,″ Jay said, deciding that this was the perfect moment to address something else, and joined his older brother, who was sipping on his last beer, on the couch again. ″How long have you and Natalie been keeping your relationship on the down low already?″ He asked this question all casually and Will choked on his beer by these words, his eyes widening to an unimaginable size.

″Hey buddy, you good?″ he asked and patted his back as he was coughing hardly but inwardly he was smiling because this was the confirmation that his brother and Natalie have finally gotten their shit together.

″Yeah,″ Will mumbled somewhat breathlessly, letting out a long, last cough and clearing his throat. His cheeks were slightly red but Jay couldn't tell whether it was from almost suffocating or from being revealed to be in a secret relationship with his co-worker.

″You saw us in the baby store yesterday, right?″ Will asked when he was able to talk again.

″Yep,″ Jay nodded and couldn't hide a grin when he thought back to yesterday afternoon when he and Erin had seen Natalie and Will, who had been carrying Owen, in the baby store, looking for new toys for the toddler. When they had seen them laughing and talking with each other with literal heart-eyes and amorous smirks. When they had seen them sharing a kiss, apparently feeling safe that no one in the store knew them.

″A kid's looking good on you,″ Jay added smirkingly. ″You already looking like the father-figure here, I wonder: how long have you guys been secretly dating?″

″Uhm...″ Will stammered and grinned faintly. ″It happened around and after Owen's first birthday.″

″Wait...″ Jay said, furrowing a brow as he tried to put some dates in order in his head. ″Owen's birthday was before Emmy was born...″

″Yep,″ Will answered smirkingly.

″So you've also been dating her for more almost two months without telling me the tiniest little bit about it?″ he asked and his voice sounded like he couldn't believe it. And he really couldn't believe it. Both, his best friend and his brother, have been dating their girlfriends for around two months now and he'd been completely clueless about it all the time.

″Bascially,″ Will confirmed, laughing by his brother's shocked facial expression. ″Owen's birthday ended with a kiss but we've only been dating since the day after Valentine's, so it's a little over a month now. We decided to keep it just for us for now until we know whether it works because we don't want to be gossiped about in the hospital. And deciding not telling anyone really included everyone, sorry bro,″ he winked.

″What shocks me most is that I'm a detective and I didn't figure it out myself,″ Jay laughed, still shaking his head in disbelief.

″You're a sleep-deprived detective, maybe that's why.″

″Yeah, I think I go with that,″ he chuckled. ″But congrats Will, it was about time.″

″Tell me about it,″ Will grinned.

″So I guess things are going great?″ Jay dug deeper. Now that it was confirmed he wanted to know more, wanted to take part in his brother's new happiness, his new life as a partner and step-dad.

″They are,″ Will confirmed. ″I've never felt like this before. Being with her feels so unreal, like a dream and I just want to keep this feeling forever. I guess you know what I mean?″

″Absolutely,″ Jay grinned. ″It's the best feeling in the world to be with your soulmate. Don't mess this up.″

″I will give everything not to,″ Will said, a for him unknown determination flickering in his eyes. Not that kind of determination he had when he went against the rules or against his superiors but a determination that showed Jay that he would do everything to make this relationship a forever lasting one.

″I know,″ Jay nodded, grabbed his beer and clinked it with Will's. ″Here's to you and Natalie.″

″Thanks,″ Will smiled and took some gulps from his beer.

″Just one last question,″ Jay said when he placed his beer back on the coffee table.

″Oh come on, Jay, I already feel like being in interrogation,″ Will sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes.

″Well, you are, basically,″ Jay laughed. ″Erin and I will make the wedding invitations within the next few weeks...and the question is, will you and Natalie need seperate ones?″

Their wedding invitations, it was something they really needed to get done by now since the wedding was supposed to be in four short months. At least they had already made a guest list a couple of days ago and Natalie and the rest of the girls from Erin's new Zumba class, the ones she'd only known a little before from the rare times they met due to work but were only now becoming friends, were on it as well.

″We're going to make it public at some point within the next few weeks but for now we'll keep it for us. So if this was your way of asking whether you can tell Erin, the answer is no. I know you're a horrible liar but please Jay-″

″Hey bro,″ Jay laughed, holding his hands up in defence. ″Erin was in the store as well. And she saw it with her own eyes, sorry.″

″Damn it,″ Will laughed, clinked his bottle with Jay's yet again and emptied it with one long gulp to swallow these news down. "Then this has to stay between you and Erin and me and Natalie."

"Of course," Jay nodded, wondering whether they could keep their relationship a secret for as long as they wanted to. He and Erin had been there, at dating secretly and they were cops, usually good at working undercover but nonetheless Hank had found out about it somewhen, so he was kinda excited to see whether Natalie and Will were better at it.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Erin came back home half an hour after Will had left and found her fiancé sitting on the couch and zapping through the channels. His face lit up when she joined him on the couch, kissed him and then curled into his lap to be as close to him as possible.

″How was the film?″ he asked.

″It was good. None for the history books but entertaining nonetheless,″ she chuckled. ″How was your evening?″

″It was...interesting,″ Jay laughed, earning a questioning look from her. ″And it was a lot of fun. Emmy behaved perfectly and enjoyed the attention Mouse and Will gave her.″

″Yeah, I can imagine that. She's having a distinct attention-seeking. Especially from you. Or any other men. Which kind of worries me,″ Erin laughed.

″Yep, we have to work on that,″ he winked. ″She has to learn that she's not allowed to date before she's at least 25...or wait, make that 35.″

″35 sounds better,″ Erin grinned.

″Talking about dating...″ Jay started, ready to tell Erin the big news about his best friend who hadn't specifically said that his relationship status was supposed to stay a secret, that he wasn't allowed to tell Erin at least. ″Mouse might need a wedding invitation 'plus one'.″

″I know,″ Erin answered casually without even thinking about her answer.

″You know?″ Jay echoed incredulously and only now Erin recognized what she'd said. She lifted her head and looked up to him, gave him an innocent grin.

″Yeah, I know about Mouse and Sarah,″ she admitted and this time it was his face that showed a million question marks.

″How do you know about that?″ he asked, a mixture of shock and surprise reflecting from his face.

″Well, that's a longer story,″ Erin chuckled and started to tell him about meeting Mouse in the hospital after returning from Wisconsin, about forcing him to bring Sarah the roses he'd bought for her and ask her out, about being his partner in crime, about giving him advices about the perfect date outside of Molly's three days before Emmy was born. For a second time that night Jay couldn't believe what he was hearing, that Erin had been able to keep this a secret from him for so long without giving him the slightest indication that she was 'involved' in Mouse's lovelife, that she had never told him about it. But of course he also understood why she never told him but rather respected Mouse's wish to not tell anyone, not even Jay. Erin was damn good at keeping a secret for sure.

″I'm so happy for him,″ Jay said after Erin had ended telling her story.

″I know,″ Erin smiled and brushed her lips against his.

″I asked him to become my best man and he said yes. And Will's also okay with it.″

″See, you racked your brains for no reason,″ Erin winked.

″Yeah, you were right. Again,″ he admitted teeth-gnashingly.

″Surprised?″ she teased him.

″Uhm, I'm not obligated to answer that question, am I?″ he laughed.

″This answer is enough, thanks,″ she answered, giving him that kind of winning grin only she could give him before she snuggled against his chest again. For literally a second before Emmy's crying resounded from the bedroom. Erin got up from his lap and walked into the bedroom, Jay joining her a couple of seconds later.

″Hey sweetheart,″ Erin almost sang and leaned over the bassinet to untangle her from her blanket she was wrapped in and picked her up into her arms. ″What's up, huh?″ she whispered and pressed a kiss against the side of her head. She sat down on her side of the bed, leaned back against the dozen of cushions and settled her against her breast, Jay lying down on his side, his head propped up on his elbow and watching Emmy nurse which was one of his favorite things to do. Seeing this incredible bond between mother and daughter, seeing Emmy's face getting more and more satisfied and listening to her gulping down the milk.

″Earlier, the boys said once again how she looks completely like you,″ Jay said into the silence. Erin turned her head to him, ready to disagree but he didn't let her. ″And I have to agree with them. Every day she looks more like you and I didn't think this was even possible. Except of her eyes, they're turning into a light blue. Which gives me hope that she at least keeps my eye color,″ Jay laughed.

″She doesn't more and more look like me. She has your eyes and she definitely has your smile and her features are a perfect mix,″ Erin said, studying her daughter's face to figure out why everyone, literally everyone, told them that Emilia was Erin's mini-me.

″Nope, her features are all you and that smile is all you as well. I just wait for the dimples to show up one day,″ Jay chuckled.

″They won't because she has your smile,″ Erin disagreed again.

″Okay, how about we compare baby pics and check out how you looked as a baby and how I looked as a baby. Then we'll know whether she's more Jay or Erin,″ Jay suggested, still grinning widely as he really liked this idea, wondering why they'd never had this idea before, but it fell from his face when Erin looked at him, sadness suddenly reflecting from her eyes. She wished she could be that kind of mother to scroll through old photo albums and figure out whether her baby looked like her as a baby or more like Jay. But she couldn't.

″Jay, do you really think Bunny was that kind of photo-album-mom?″ she asked him with a voice that was almost a whisper and Jay's heart dropped to his knees, guilt and regret overcoming him, immediately knowing why he'd of course never mentioned it before. But driven by his excitement about this idea he'd literally forgotten to use his brain. Because in fact he of course knew that Bunny would not be that kind of mother who took many photos of her children and sticked them into some cute album with funny captions.

"Oh damn, I'm sorry," Jay said quietly and stroked her leg above her knee, his heart still aching for her. "I didn't think about it."

"No worries," she shrugged it off, giving him a weak smile before turning her gaze to her baby girl again. "It just makes me sad that we can't do stuff like that, that's all. Because I wish we could."

"I'm sure there are some...somewhere." Jay knew Bunny wasn't even anywhere near of getting the mother-of-the-year-award, but not taking a single pic of her daughter in all these years was something he couldn't believe. Or more like didn't want to believe because it made his heart ache for Erin even more.

"I'm sure there aren't. Maybe there's one the hospital staff made after I was born but that must be it. And I doubt she kept a photo of the biggest mistake of her life," Erin said and her voice was as bitter as she meant it. Now, with being a mother herself, she more than ever never wanted to have to deal with Bunny ever again.

"But," she added and looked at Jay again, her real smile returning to her face, "I'd love to see pictures of baby Jay to prove you that there's actually lots of Halstead in her genes."

"There won't be many similarities," Jay chuckled and got up to look for the baby album his mother had made, the album that documented his whole childhood like taking his first steps, eating his first pulp, going to school for the first time. It was exactly the kind of album he wanted to make for Emilia as well.

When he returned to the bedroom a couple of minutes later Emmy had finished nursing and was snuggling with Erin and so they started to scroll through his baby album, literally in the middle of the night, Erin seeing photos of him as a baby for the very first time. Watching these truly adorable photos, she realized that her fiancé has always been cute and good-looking but she also had to admit that despite of those big blue eyes and a little bit of this smile, Emilia and Jay didn't look as much alike as she thought they would and she had to accept the fact that it seemed like she had a little mini-me after all...

I hope you enjoyed it and that these little bits of Linstead-fluff made up for not getting anything on the show at the moment! Please leave a review and tell me what you think, they're always appreciated! :)